Sign In:

×

Last Step!

Please enter your public display name and a secure password.

Plan to post in the forums? Change your default forum handle here!

×
×

Hot Tub Poacher Brought Down After Interstate Manhunt

Hot-tub-poaching fugitive Yale Brown gets lathered up just as a SWAT team buzz-kills his revitalizing full-body soak. Sam Morse photo. 

TRUCKEE, Calif. — Local, state and federal authorities tightened the noose Wednesday and brought an end to what many crime watchers have dubbed the most daring hot tub poaching spree in modern history.

Notorious dirtbag and Peter Pan Syndrome survivor Yale Brown, 31, was apprehended in Truckee, California, this week after his desire to soak in yet another unpaid-for hot tub caught up with him, leading to ruin, regret — and unwashed cuticles.

Sources familiar with the suspect told TGR that Brown was “kayaking, biking, camping and climbing” his way through the West. Possible links between the alleged action-sport activities and Brown's need for a hot, sanitizing dip have been frequently eyed as a motive for the crimes, but forensic experts aren’t taking anything off the table.

RELATED: Mom Says 'F**k It,' Reveals Kids' Dirtbaggery at Upscale Brunch

Regional agencies insist there is no official tally yet, but many are speculating that Brown defiled what could end up being “tons of fucking hot tubs.”

“This guy really had no morals,” Western Interagency task force chief Walt LaFors told TGR in a written statement. “I’ve seen a lot of terrible shit during my time in law enforcement, but this … this was something else. He’d steal towels, he’d hit on young women, he’d even — pee in the water.”

Brown’s trail was picked up mid-summer when his calling card began showing up all over the Rocky Mountains: a soggy 12-pack of PBR/Rainier, discarded empties strewn throughout the lounge areas and residual suds of Dr. Bronner’s copiously lathered in the tub.

He’d steal towels, he’d hit on young women, he’d even — pee in the water.

Witnesses who encountered the suspect during his illicit intrusions recounted being scared, inebriated, and sometimes — oddly aroused.

“He wasn’t my type,” Truckee resident Chanel Williams said. “But my sister was definitely into him. When we saw him jumping the fence, we were pretty creeped out, but once he got in and started drinking with us, we realized he was just a traveling kayaker looking for a bath and a warm bed.”

Brown is currently languishing in a Washoe County jail, where he is awaiting arraignment. As of press time, a pro hot-tub poaching Kickstarter campaign called “#Tublife Is Not A Crime” had raised over $567,000 to free the tub-rights activist. Brown says that once out of jail, he’ll use the crowdsourced funds to replace his back Subaru bumper and buy both an Epic and Mountain Collective pass for the coming winter.

From The Column: The Bumion

If someone doing wrong things and you do report that’s fine. But don’t do this kind of things because it hurts a lot. The texascollegesu.com will help you.

Play
READ THE STORY
Video: The Salmon Cannon
Up Next News

Video: The Salmon Cannon

Video: The Salmon Cannon

This salmon cannon transports the fish between bodies of water. (Via @CheddarGadgets)https://t.co/2eFQceFgzv pic.twitter.com/AHK0QJMCKf— Cheddar (@cheddar) August 7, 2019 A recently rediscovered video of the Salmon Cannon designed by Whoosh Innovations is going viral. The invention moves salmon through a pressurized tube of plastic to transport them past dams in order to reach important upstream spawning areas. Check out Cheddar’s Twitter video above to get a good sense of the cannon’s

Play
READ THE STORY
Video: Hare Flails Across Huge Avalanche
Up Next Culture

Video: Hare Flails Across Huge Avalanche

Video: Hare Flails Across Huge Avalanche

Smokey the Bear, Ranger Rick, Buddy Bison; folksy woodland creatures have been used as outdoor safety mascots for as long as people have been doing dumb shit in the outdoors. For some reason people are less inclined to burn down a forest when a bear wearing a hat tells them not to. With this understood, we would like to propose a new avalanche safety mascot: Harry the Hare. Harry the Hare knows the fundamentals of avalanche safety; things like knowing before you go, the Five Red Flags,

Play
READ THE STORY
Breaking: Endangered Species Act Significantly Weakened
Up Next News

Breaking: Endangered Species Act Significantly Weakened

Breaking: Endangered Species Act Significantly Weakened

National Park Service Climate Change Response Photo. The Trump Administration announced Monday an overhaul to the Endangered Species Act of 1973 (ESA), the landmark conservation legislation. Many environmental experts are condemning the changes, which will go into effect next month. RELATED: BLM Plan Solidifying Damage to Bears Ears The changes make it more difficult for scientists and wildlife experts to consider climate change effects when deciding whether or not to add a species to