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With warmer temperatures we have longer summers, and you know what that means kids; a shorter school year! Photo from Spongebob on YouTube.
I don’t know what's up with all this negative chitchat about global warming. So far everything is going just swimmingly! Sun-tanning hours have extended, rising sea levels are slowly getting rid of Florida, and the lemon-zesty ocean water makes for delicious Arnold Palmers.
But that’s not all! These nine glorious videos highlight just how wondrous a warming world really is. So please don't drive less, buy local or get solar panels. The future of global warming is bright!
1. Spongebob shows us how we can profit from global warming by opening new swimming pools. Cha-Ching $$
2. ABC’s The Gruen Transfer gets us motivated to save the homeless from the cold
3. Big news story: Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit! I guess sustainable energy sources are no longer a go
4. John Oliver lets us know the climate change debate is definitely still going strong. You know nothing, Bill Nye
5. Tired of having to drive to go get gas? Exxon brings it to you!
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6. What Does Santa Think of Climate Change? We don’t know - he’s drunk
7. Learning the difference between the weather and climate change. You better or you're facing prison time. With plenty of dropped soap
8. Hydraulic Fracturing releases rainbows! Steven Colbert shares Talisman-Energy's very educational coloring book. Our kids are going to do great
9. Even if climate change is a serious thing, why bother? This British comedian explains
So whatever negative thoughts you're harboring about global warming, just remember: don't think about them. Don't vote for carbon emission reductions or ride your bike to work. That's just preposterous! Think of the homeless! Think of blowing the planet of course! Do you want that? I don't think so.
