JP’s Take on How to Become Gluten Free Has Us Rolling
I can see you sitting there, scratching your head wondering why we’re posting something totally not of the action sports family. BUT little do you know that living glutenless actually makes you a better athlete and outdoorsman.
JP doesn’t preach on gluten’s affect on sports, but “based on medical evidence that hasn’t been discovered yet,” there’s an undeniable negative correlation; the more gluten you eat, the more ghastly of an athlete you are.
For reals. Last week I courageously ate normal pancakes with a syrup-and-butter to pancake ratio of 50:1, and my swim after ended with vomitus. Bloody pancakes.
Feeling shaky, I then ate a cupcake. The beaut was literally drowning under a foot of icing, but again, bloody cupcake. Next time I’m just eating the icing.
Sign Up For Our Newsletter
But it’s not just me. I see my biking buddies eat bagels, and their performance is taking a serious hit. It's all about the lettucewich. That's a powerhouse right there. I’ve even been doling out my gluten free suncream. It cost me my last two month’s wages, but gluten’s a silent killer, and I won’t let it get my mates.
JP should be president. He says smart things like, “Gluten is the new animal you don’t have to eat,” and, “Gluten’s what killed Ghandi.” The raggedy headband he always wears seals the deal. As for now, I’m gonna go make me some gluten free eggs.
