UT/WY Missing Persons Case>WILD

[Garbowski]

Guy is an asshole and definitely killed her, but could have been a routine fight gone unlucky (not that fighting is excusable). Coroners' report will be interesting.

[ötzi]

That’s Patrice! RIP

+1 What a shame he died at only 41.

[warthog]

Did you miss the part about the most dangerous time is when they leave their abusers?

Did you miss the part where another Jong told your Jong ass to STFU and observe for a while? I don't condone Jong on Jong violence, but JFC enough. Stop sucking.

Oh, the bit about Gabby sux too. Oh, and the indigenous folks. And really happy there is a FL connection. Keeps us relevant in the news cycle.

Carry on.

[Vt-Freeheel]

[zion zig zag]

Damn, sorry Salve is shitting up this thread about a woman killed by domestic violence. I don’t find her interjections all that problematic given the topic.

I’ve been “lectured” for more benign things in my life, and as a 47 year old I’ve learned that sometimes I just need to listen instead of being turned off by the messenger. I’m pretty sure none of us are going to kill a woman violently but it doesn’t mean I can’t be introspective and listen to a female on the subject. Party on.


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[John_B]

Debating if he hit her prior to their police encounter seems a bit unnecessary when in all likelihood he murdered not long later.

[Mazderati]

Party on.

[ex-powderbroker]

Except there was no observable evidence of her being hit/slapped. Zero.

Maybe they made up the story they told the Moab cops - all her fault, untreated OCD & anxiety disorders and all. But they separated the two from the git-go and their stories were consistent. I just don’t think there was time to coordinate that elaborate a story. And if it was an act, she sold it.

The other thing is it took both of them to agree to vacate the no contact order. If she wanted to get away from him, all she had to do was not show up at the courthouse the next day, and instead drive off into the sunset. He’d be stranded with a restraining order around his neck

I'm just an internet detective but I listened to the traffic stop 3 times over work.

The stories were not consistent. Just the part over what happened with running the van into the curb, did she grab the wheel like he said, or did she tap him on the arm for being an asshole. Or the part with his cellphone. He didn't have one but he did? Obviously I had the benefit of context knowing she was missing and he was in Florida, the cops did not have that. But watch it again. They pal around with him and tell him about their marriages while he's a twitchy smirking fucktard - because he knows he is getting away with something. I would read it as major dupers delight.

And they baby him: "Lift up your shirt again, did she scratch you?"

As far as getting away from him... it was a very co-dependent and bad relationship. For instance, she is scared to drive the van alone. The cops aren't superheroes (even if they were chumps) and they couldn't have known he was going to kill her. But he did. For some reason I read that sentence that "if she wanted to get away she could of" as very victim-blamey.

And, on the original 9/11 call, the guy said he slapped her around. Why were they insisting on documenting his wounds when he locked her out of her own car? At the very least (with hindsight) this was a bizaaroland interrogation they conducted.

[Salvelinusconfluentus]

Damn, sorry Salve is shitting up this thread about a woman killed by domestic violence. I don’t find her interjections all that problematic given the topic.

I’ve been “lectured” for more benign things in my life, and as a 47 year old I’ve learned that sometimes I just need to listen instead of being turned off by the messenger. I’m pretty sure none of us are going to kill a woman violently but it doesn’t mean I can’t be introspective and listen to a female on the subject. Party on.


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The problem is that the bullshit victim blaming and questioning if he really hit her, calling her hysterical, making jokes about it?

No. Thats not killing her or anyone else and it doesn't mean any of you will but in enables abusers because that attitude by society makes it harder for people to speak up and believe that someone will believe them and help them.

Abusers convince their victims that they (the victim) are the problem.

In order to leave a dangerous, abusive partner the abused partner has to trust that they will be believed, no matter what.

How could she believe that living in a society where humans talk like some of you have talked in this thread?

So call me whatever the fuck you want. The things posted here about a missing and then murdered woman are completely out of line.

[east or bust]

gotta be a kraken alias


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[seano732]

The problem is that the bullshit victim blaming and questioning if he really hit her, calling her hysterical, making jokes about it?

No. Thats not killing her or anyone else and it doesn't mean any of you will but in enables abusers because that attitude by society makes it harder for people to speak up and believe that someone will believe them and help them.

Abusers convince their victims that they (the victim) are the problem.

In order to leave a dangerous, abusive partner the abused partner has to trust that they will be believed, no matter what.

How could she believe that living in a society where humans talk like some of you have talked in this thread?

So call me whatever the fuck you want. The things posted here about a missing and then murdered woman are completely out of line.

Gee if only there was a way for you to not read threads you don’t like……..

[Salvelinusconfluentus]

Gee if only there was a way for you to not read threads you don’t like……..

Its impossible not to hear victim blaming, and terrible jokes about abuse, rape, murder of women, etc. Its everywhere. All I want is for you all to think about the impact of your words.

[ötzi]

Somewhat ironic, but okay.

[Salvelinusconfluentus]

Somewhat ironic, but okay.

I know what you're getting at.

Imagine how things might have ended up differently for a certain person if a certain abused woman could have spoken up about her abuse and gotten help getting herself and her family safe...

See, its not just women being hurt, it spider webs out for generations...

[ötzi]

No idea what woman you're referring to specifically but yes of course there are consequences to actions and they often linger.

[Vt-Freeheel]

.....

[altasnob]

Did the cops ever go back and speak to the 911 caller in person? If not, that may have exposed the police department to a wrongful death lawsuit. Even if the cops didn't have enough to arrest after speaking to Petito and dude the 911 caller was an independent, eye witness to a misdemeanor dv assault. Cops should have spoken in person to the caller to see exactly what they observed. And see if there were other witnesses, besides the person who called 911, who also was a witness. Then cops would have had probable cause to arrest dude for slapping Petito, or whatever exactly he did in front of the 911 caller. I assume Utah has a mandatory arrest for dv assault if the cops have probable cause (like other states). If the 911 caller can identify Petito as the victim of the slapping cops have probable cause to arrest dude regardless of whether Petito corroborates it and regardless of whether she has any visible injuries (cops arrest for dv all the time with an uncooperative victim who refuses to testify). After arrest, dude gets thrown in jail and judge would throw a no contact order on him that applies after he is released from jail (he would have likely been released within 48 hours of booking). Prosecutor may or may not charge case but Prosecutor and Judge have immunity on their decisions, the Police Department does not. If the cops acted this way, they would have absolved themselves of liability. By not doing this, they expose the Moab taxpayers to a $100 mil wrongful death suit brought by Petito's family.

Not saying any of the above would have changed the final outcome. The system is less focused on outcomes, and more focused on avoiding liability.

[riser4]

Slight thread drift. Anyone know how to put out a dumpster fire?

[seano732]

Slight thread drift. Anyone know how to put out a dumpster fire?

Copious amounts of water while wearing an SCBA……

[riser4]

Copious amounts of water while wearing an SCBA……

Unplug the box fan first?

[seano732]

Obviously.

[The AD]

gotta be a kraken alias

Definitely. The death of this thread was the giveaway.

[heckacali]

I frequent only two forums like TGR regularly, the other being a Mottorcycle forum and both have long active threads discussing this situation.
In comparison, the tone of TGR is rather disappointing with the general misogynistic overtones of many users, the dismissive attempts at humor and sarcasm over a really shitty situation.
Is this death the worst thing in the world? No, not for you it isn't, but for many who knew her, it is.
There are apparently lots of unsolved missing people, but that does not take away from the tragedy of this one.
Attacking a poster for pointing out the undisputable frequent abuse and victimhood of women at the hands of men is trollish, childish and misogynistic bullshit, but there is a strong tendency of that type on TGR.

As I've mentioned a few times in this thread, I am from LI (long ago) but my sister, her family, her community and workplace are all part of Gabby's, her family's (and the BF's) lives, and this is a terrible tragedy for them.

I hope you are all never close to anything so horrific, and I would think any decent person would hope the same for others, so at least have some respect for that.

[Dantheman]

Did the cops ever go back and speak to the 911 caller in person? If not, that may have exposed the police department to a wrongful death lawsuit. Even if the cops didn't have enough to arrest after speaking to Petito and dude the 911 caller was an independent, eye witness to a misdemeanor dv assault. Cops should have spoken in person to the caller to see exactly what they observed. And see if there were other witnesses, besides the person who called 911, who also was a witness. Then cops would have had probable cause to arrest dude for slapping Petito, or whatever exactly he did in front of the 911 caller. I assume Utah has a mandatory arrest for dv assault if the cops have probable cause (like other states). If the 911 caller can identify Petito as the victim of the slapping cops have probable cause to arrest dude regardless of whether Petito corroborates it and regardless of whether she has any visible injuries (cops arrest for dv all the time with an uncooperative victim who refuses to testify). After arrest, dude gets thrown in jail and judge would throw a no contact order on him that applies after he is released from jail (he would have likely been released within 48 hours of booking). Prosecutor may or may not charge case but Prosecutor and Judge have immunity on their decisions, the Police Department does not. If the cops acted this way, they would have absolved themselves of liability. By not doing this, they expose the Moab taxpayers to a $100 mil wrongful death suit brought by Petito's family.

Not saying any of the above would have changed the final outcome. The system is less focused on outcomes, and more focused on avoiding liability.

If they didn't get him a motel room for the night they were going to arrest her. You have to wonder how a night in jail, which probably would have resulted in a call to her parents, might have changed the trajectory of this whole thing.

[jono]

If they didn't get him a motel room for the night they were going to arrest her. You have to wonder how a night in jail, which probably would have resulted in a call to her parents, might have changed the trajectory of this whole thing.

Wow. It's a sobering thought to realize that jailing her seems more likely to have saved her life than jailing him. What a world.