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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
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    129

    Gambling Addiction

    Reaching out to the collective for advice. Presently separated from spouse. The other night she tells me she thinks she may have a gambling addiction. As someone said in the original sobriety thread, if you think you may have a problem, you have a problem. For years, I thought it was online shopping, now this revelation. Joint bank accounts cleared out, cash stolen, etc. Overdraft charges daily, often in excess of the original charge.

    I imagine someone here has thoughts on where to seek effective help. Has anyone here been able to save a relationship that has been destroyed by gambling? Should I just run and call it good?

    Someone here, I'm sure has some sage advice. Don't really know where to turn.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    4,197
    Sorry to hear man. Life is short. Move on and live the rest of your life without that drama.

    It's one thing to lose your shared money on DUI's and bail money, but when it's gambling, that seems to be another level. And now that gambling is becoming more and more legal throughout the country, that problem ain't going away.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Missoula, MT
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    22,480
    Well, first of all, you need to take back financial control or independence.
    After that it's what she's willing to work on for herself and what you're willing to live with.
    If there's no kids involved, pulling the ejection lever should be pretty painless if you have to go that route. Especially if there's no money left.
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    10,955
    If you love this woman you should help her.

    If you don’t love her move on.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    You got to know when to hold 'em, you got to know when to fold 'em

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Looking down
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    I was reading just recently that this is a young person's problem, will fade.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
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    beaverhead county
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    4,624
    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    You got to know when to hold 'em, you got to know when to fold 'em
    know when to walk away, know when to run
    swing your fucking sword.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    Posts
    129
    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    If you love this woman you should help her.

    If you don’t love her move on.


    I love her and have a big heart, but am I just pissing in the wind?


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    I was reading just recently that this is a young person's problem, will fade.
    Is 38 young? I know you read everything.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    ECO
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    5,806
    Quote Originally Posted by Lostintime View Post
    Is 38 young? I know you read everything.
    Your almost near the end. How do you want to spend your twilight years?

    If she has found a bottom and willing to work to address issues, then you have some pondering to do. If she still is excuses and stories, save yourself. Either way, get control of what little money is left.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Looking down
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lostintime View Post
    Is 38 young? I know you read everything.
    So, whatever. Pimp her out

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    Posts
    129
    Other than blaming genetics, I think she is coming to a great realization. As far as the money, it's been just joint savings and cash. No cash in house now.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Big Sky/Moonlight Basin
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    14,475
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Pimp her out
    OP, Benny might have found the solution to your dilemma. We need pics of her, preferably nekkid, to properly evaluate Benny’s proposal.


    Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums
    "Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin

    "Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    24,662
    I want to buy your women.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    you see a tie dye disc in there?
    Posts
    4,674
    "addiction is personal, you're white noise in background"

    that comment from a friend hit home, and i decided to move out when i turned 18

    understand that and work from there

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
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    129
    Quote Originally Posted by Harry View Post
    OP, Benny might have found the solution to your dilemma. We need pics of her, preferably nekkid, to properly evaluate Benny’s proposal.


    Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums

    Finally, some levity!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    you see a tie dye disc in there?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lostintime View Post
    Finally, some levity!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    805
    I had a buddy who lost quite a bit to Gambling. Owed a bookie 30gs, lost his long term GF, Job etc. I think he's better these days but still digging out of a whole. I'm concerned hes now betting on Gamestop etc..... It's tough but if you love her, maybe give it a chance... Why is she gambling? Boredom online? Casinos? Scratchys?

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    in a freezer in Italy
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    7,266
    Get your money where she can't get it, lock your credit, cancel any joint accounts, then give her a shot if you're feeling it.

    7 to 5 she can beat it.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    you see a tie dye disc in there?
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    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    7 to 5 she can beat it.
    fuck, i love this little special place in the digital world. well done

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Verdi NV
    Posts
    10,457
    The is a 12 step program called GA

    Most don't go until it's court ordered.

    Serious gambling usually ends up with criminal charge's.

    I live in Nevada. Not me,. But it's all around me.
    It's really easy to fall into.

    And deviating. Hits directly at family and friends.
    End up losing both.
    Own your fail. ~Jer~

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    United States of Aburdistan
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    7,281
    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    7 to 5 she can beat it.
    Wanna bet?

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    19,827
    If you don’t have kids go dark and run. Close every account you can.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    Less flat
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTT View Post
    And deviating. Hits directly at family and friends.
    End up losing everything.
    fify



    OP... evaluate the relationship without the weight of the addiction. Could it/would it be healthy and good for both of you? There's your answer.

    Quote Originally Posted by MTT View Post
    ...all around me.
    It's really easy to fall into.
    Sounder words would be hard to find.

    Make a recovering alcoholic sleep in a liquor store? Removing the addict from the environment would greatly accelerate her recovery.

    GA meetings are a good idea. Being around other people stuck on chasing the "juice".
    ​I am not in your hurry

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    Posts
    129
    Quote Originally Posted by Gepeto View Post
    fify



    OP... evaluate the relationship without the weight of the addiction. Could it/would it be healthy and good for both of you? There's your answer.


    Sounder words would be hard to find.

    Make a recovering alcoholic sleep in a liquor store? Removing the addict from the environment would greatly accelerate her recovery.

    GA meetings are a good idea. Being around other people stuck on chasing the "juice".
    You really can't remove someone from the online gaming environment. Jeezus, if you are going to gamble, play something with better odds. She's very bright, but the addiction leads to some poor choices.

    Aside from the gambling issues, our lives have been great together

  25. #25
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Sandy, Utah
    Posts
    14,410
    Quote Originally Posted by Hott Butt Mud View Post
    Sorry to hear man. Life is short. Move on and live the rest of your life without that drama.

    It's one thing to lose your shared money on DUI's and bail money, but when it's gambling, that seems to be another level. And now that gambling is becoming more and more legal throughout the country, that problem ain't going away.
    OP sorry to hear. I don't want to rush to say cut n run, but you do have lots to consider now. Gambling seems like an addiction that has a bad chance to fuck you big time..

    As to hott butt mud comment. I was just saying to my wife how horrible I think it is they can advertise gambling on tv for online participation. Disgusts me. I'm cool with gambling and all, but that advertising tv shits got to go...seems predatory. Free money if you join etc...like if you want to gamble you know where to go, putting it on tv opens it to people who think "just one big win", and down the hole we go.

    Good luck OP, vibes.

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