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  1. #4226
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtngirl79 View Post
    Arent there a lot of financial benefits to being married?

    Especially as you age with estate taxes and benefits being available to the spouse as well?
    Not sure how the changes in tax code have impacted things, but under the old tax code, couples with similar incomes got a marriage penalty. Before getting married, I took the homeowner's deduction and my wife took the "don't itemize" standard deduction. After we started filing jointly, the tax bill went up because we shared the homeowner's deduction.

  2. #4227
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Sometime I get in arguments with my wife, and it's like she has a computer for a brain - she'll remember exactly what the last fight was about, and the one before, and exactly what was said...and I'm just floundering, I don't remember half of it. I always accused her of making it all up but I wondered..

    Well today, my wife was trying to find some notes she made on something, and she laughed. I asked what's up and she said, oh, I just found the notes I made from a fight we had last December.

    NOTES?!? No wonder she remembers this shit, she studies it! And all of a sudden shit makes more sense. I bet she's far from alone in this, although it's possible I'm just the lucky one.

    But if you find yourself on the losing end of a situation like that, where details are being mentioned, and previous exchanges quoted, I strongly suggest that you ask to review her notes before proceeding. I know I plan to. We'll see how that works out. Not well, probably, but I'll give it a shot.
    Thank you for this, I LOL'd and told my wife. She was both amused and disturbed but saw the value of keeping notes so maybe telling her was the wrong move.

  3. #4228
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    Many ways to protect assets without putting a relationship on paper. And, whatever I have left when I kack is going to my kids.
    Seems like the best thing to do is leave everything to your kids... but then you never know how things could play out... kids very well off. Partner takes some financial hits.

    Maybe partner cares for you rather than you having to go in a nursing home?

    Or maybe you are caring for partner and then you die unexpectantly.

    Just seems like there is a lot to think about and lots of variables to make blanket statements...

  4. #4229
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    sigh.

    I forgive you your naivete and believe your intentions are genuine. However, if you've not been through what many of us in this thread have your context and perspective is limited. Not an insult, just a fact.

    If -
    and that's a big if - I choose to commit to a partner again, said partner will be self sufficient and have their own lives and financial affairs sorted to take care fo their families, and they can make what ever choices they like about what to do with theirs. At this age, if I chose to partner again, all of those possibilities will have been out on the table for due conversation and agreement. Who will take care of whom if care taking is required will be well established and likely in writing if it is a dedicated life-partnership.

    Believe it or not, us TGR geezers actually do think beyond the next cocktail and what our futures might look like. I can make those statements because they are what I choose to do after considering the possibilities, but they are far from 'blanket'.

    And you still can do all of those things, if you are intentional and communicative, without a judge's signature and a piece of jewelry.

    Quote Originally Posted by mtngirl79 View Post
    Seems like the best thing to do is leave everything to your kids... but then you never know how things could play out... kids very well off. Partner takes some financial hits.

    Maybe partner cares for you rather than you having to go in a nursing home?

    Or maybe you are caring for partner and then you die unexpectantly.

    Just seems like there is a lot to think about and lots of variables to make blanket statements...
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  5. #4230
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    watch out for snakes

  6. #4231
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post

    Believe it or not, us TGR geezers actually do think beyond the next cocktail .
    schpeek fer yershelf, l00zer...
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  7. #4232
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    almost?
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  8. #4233
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    schpeek fer yershelf, l00zer...
    well, ok maybe not past the one after the next one.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  9. #4234
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    well, ok maybe not past the one after the next one.....
    attaboy!
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  10. #4235
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    sigh.

    I forgive you your naivete and believe your intentions are genuine. However, if you've not been through what many of us in this thread have your context and perspective is limited. Not an insult, just a fact.

    If -
    and that's a big if - I choose to commit to a partner again, said partner will be self sufficient and have their own lives and financial affairs sorted to take care fo their families, and they can make what ever choices they like about what to do with theirs. At this age, if I chose to partner again, all of those possibilities will have been out on the table for due conversation and agreement. Who will take care of whom if care taking is required will be well established and likely in writing if it is a dedicated life-partnership.

    Believe it or not, us TGR geezers actually do think beyond the next cocktail and what our futures might look like. I can make those statements because they are what I choose to do after considering the possibilities, but they are far from 'blanket'.

    And you still can do all of those things, if you are intentional and communicative, without a judge's signature and a piece of jewelry.
    Condescending, much?

    I get that you feel like you were burned but ohh hey honey, I know we could save over grand a month on insurance... but you know, I don't trust you because my exwife screwed me over...

  11. #4236
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    the old mans going thru the end of the 3rd marriage definitely the nastiest of the 3 and taking a toll on him financially and emotionally
    bitch was bad ju ju from the git go surprised it lasted +20
    he does have a new fishin girlfriend and shes nice

    2 decades and 2 years into my 1st im stoked this one still floats me boats
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  12. #4237
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    Nice!
    watch out for snakes

  13. #4238
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    You have no idea what you're talking about, but presume you do all ya want!

    What is it they say about arguing on the interwebz?


    Quote Originally Posted by mtngirl79 View Post
    Condescending, much?

    I get that you feel like you were burned but ohh hey honey, I know we could save over grand a month on insurance... but you know, I don't trust you because my exwife screwed me over...
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  14. #4239
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    She’s a polished turd
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  15. #4240
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    Are you drinking again, Mikey?

  16. #4241
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    From the chalice of love
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  17. #4242
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    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Good to know you’re still a polished turd.

    I edited out the part where I called you a POS. Over the line. No need for that.

    I’m drinking from the chalice of love.


    It’s quite entertaining to watch you make an ass of yourself. Again and again.

    Carry on
    Last edited by ~mikey b; 07-18-2019 at 06:35 AM.
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  18. #4243
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    Single moms are rough customers.

    One minute she says she’s focusing on her kids. Next she’s texting me ❤️ about work I did for her. Then she’s asking me to join her and her family (grandma and the kids) for a moonlight paddle.
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  19. #4244
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    Single parents.... it’s not single moms


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  20. #4245
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post

    What is it they say about arguing on the interwebz?
    Be selective.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  21. #4246
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    If I was a single guy, I am fairly certain I would run from the kids of a single mom. Find a girl that can't breed or kids that are grown up and not your problem except for holidays.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  22. #4247
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    Where the sheets have no stains
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    $$$ isn't everything.

    Splitting up after age 50 — often called “gray divorce” — may be particularly hazardous to your emotional and financial health, far worse than doing so at younger ages. A wave of new research is quantifying the damage.

    “It’s a grim picture,” said Susan Brown, a Bowling Green State University sociology professor and co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, which has generated many of the new findings. According to one study, people who’ve gone through a gray divorce report higher levels of depression than those whose spouses died.

    The economic effects are even more stark. As more and more baby boomers end marriages, sometimes for the second or third time, they’re wrecking their finances on an unprecedented scale.
    https://www.latimes.com/business/sto...ricans-over-50

  23. #4248
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    because survival of the species is one of the tenets of being human, the reality is attractive women will have probably procreated, I've been thru 3 sets of step (ish) kids and I would say I got better at it but you might as well be realistic and resign yourself to 2nd class status

    the woman I dated with no kids had a Siberian husky and I probably did the best with the dog

    I often silently thank my ex-wife for kicking me out when i was still young enough to financialy recover

    $$$$ isn't everything but it sure beats the alternative
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  24. #4249
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    That was a big part of my calculus. I’d just reached break even point financially; little later than I should have. Partially because I got a late start on a career and partially because she would not get a goddamned job. If I can maintain break even for the next few years while supporting her through her series of entry level jobs I should be able to recover in my 40’s. Wait until late 40’s after I’ve started to acquire some wealth? Seems like a no win.
    focus.

  25. #4250
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    The best divorce is one that never happens.

    Just got the loan for the 4R paid off the other day.
    watch out for snakes

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