The worst car

[MontuckyFried]

I think, as skiers, and generally above-average individuals, we can all agree that the most sensible car for any kid is a Volvo 240 wagon.

Truth! Volvo 240 is ALWAYS the answer for a teen driver. Too bad they'll likely be unobtanium by the time my kids are of driving age. I'd like to give 'em my old XC70 but I have zero faith mine will last that long, unlike the indestructible old 240s. Man, those 240s were excellent cars, and good God they were sloooooooooow. Especially the diesel variant. PERFECT for a teen. Haha.

[MontuckyFried]

I borrowed a late 80s Dodge Shadow turbo manual to go to a Rage Against The Machine concert. Had hideous 3 spoke wheels and a big spoiler. Best part was massive decal on back: Fuck Milk, Got Beer.

Shitbox! Way sketchier than a VW Fox I got for free.

Yup! Totally. I mentioned a (non-turbo) Shadow way earlier in this thread, and indeed. Probably the biggest pile of poo I've ever driven. That car was such a sad embarrassment to the American motor industry at the time. Made me hate Dodge/Chrysler with a passion there for a while. Especially since at the time my family had an '88 or '89 Dodge Caravan that was fairly new, was well taken care of, yet was in the shop all the freaking time with major, whacko issues. Something was ALWAYS breaking on that POS. My parents STILL massively distrust and hate Chrysler motors after that experience even after all these years. They won't even rent one. Haha.

[Timberridge]

^That got me thinking. Any minivan is really the worst car ever.

Poor dude at my son's school was driving a brand new one. He used to have a Mustang GT. I was tempted to ask if his wife cut off his balls and put them in jar. I'd get a divorce before a minivan.

[ötzi]

Why settle? Go for both.

[Timberridge]

They probably have a jar of those castration rings used on bulls at the Chrysler dealer.

[Aldo]

Had a couple old volvos then finally became a proponent of merican steel with the 72 Galaxie 500 2door. Looking back the 351 2b put out a measly 150 or so hp but it was just a sublime cruiser torque galore - hood extended out to the horizon, the ashtrays came out a foot for each front seat occupant, that thing was a sled. A donut machine. luckily the door panels had come off by then giving each rider a big enough receptacle for empties. Triple green. sigh

[MontuckyFried]

^That got me thinking. Any minivan is really the worst car ever.

Poor dude at my son's school was driving a brand new one. He used to have a Mustang GT. I was tempted to ask if his wife cut off his balls and put them in jar. I'd get a divorce before a minivan.

I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one. Minivans are FAR superior to all these lame girly crossovers everyone's driving these days. When you can drop the seats and toss in a stack of plywood, a table saw, and whatever else you wanna toss in that cavern, I'd call that a win. Nothing wrong with minivans IMO. Just 80s/90s Caravans. Haha. I'd totally rock a new Odyssey or Sienna if I could afford one. Balls still fully intact. Plus, if you gotta tote around a full crew of kids, it's OBVIOUS you getting mad laid as evidenced by said spawn.

[BmillsSkier]

A divorce and a minivan?

[Timberridge]

I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one. Minivans are FAR superior to all these lame girly crossovers everyone's driving these days. When you can drop the seats and toss in a stack of plywood, a table saw, and whatever else you wanna toss in that cavern, I'd call that a win. Nothing wrong with minivans IMO. Just 80s/90s Caravans. Haha. I'd totally rock a new Odyssey or Sienna if I could afford one. Balls still fully intact. Plus, if you gotta tote around a full crew of kids, it's OBVIOUS you getting mad laid as evidenced by said spawn.

Pick up your castration ring on the way out Siennaboy.

[nickwm21]

Calling a minivan “the worst car ever” is dense. As far as the convenience of moving people and things on a motorway, a minivan is superior to pretty much everything else. It’s not sexy. But it’s definitely not “bad.”


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[Timberridge]

Calling a minivan “the worst car ever” is dense. As far as the convenience of moving people and things on a motorway, a minivan is superior to pretty much everything else. It’s not sexy. But it’s definitely not “bad.”


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The minivan owners unite.

You all know it's true. No red blooded card carrying dude drives one and doesn't feel like he gave in.

[riser4]

All 135 of them?

No idea, but the thing would stand up and salute if you stomped the pedal and be going 80 before you knew it. Except it didn't handle worth shit. As I found out. I had it up to 110 but shit started falling off it. Literally.

[riser4]

The minivan owners unite.

You all know it's true. No red blooded card carrying dude drives one and doesn't feel like he gave in.

I don't feel like I gave in one bit. I drove some Chevy and GMC full sized vans in the past and have to say, I like my 2011 Toyota Sienna a lot better.

[nickwm21]

The minivan owners unite.

You all know it's true. No red blooded card carrying dude drives one and doesn't feel like he gave in.

Not a minivan owner here. I’m just a function-over-form guy.


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[BmillsSkier]

[El Chupacabra]

I don't feel like "the worst car" is really about a category of vehicle so much as it is about a specific model. I'm sure there are nice vans and some terrible ones (Pontiac Trans Sport?).

[m2711c]

[basinbeater]

Can't believe I missed the boat on the 540 discussion. The e39 540 used the m62 engine, which was an update of the m60 v8 used in the e34. M62 was 4.4l displacement compared to the m60 4.0l. it also added vanos variable valve timing. Here is where it goes sideways. To accommodate the vanos, bmw switched from a highly durable dual row timing chain on the m60 to a single row timing chain on the m62. To save money, they replaced the proper idling gear at the center of the v on the m60 with a long u shaped plastic chain guide on the m62. Narrow chain, long plastic guide, you see where this is going. Long story short, with the m62, while you get more low end torque than the m60, but... there will come a day, inevitably... When you start the car and hear a rattling noise from the front of the engine. Have your checkbook ready, because it is time to take the front of the engine apart and replace the timing chain guides. A shop will run you close to $3k to do the work. Very common unavoidable issue on the m62, so buyer beware. Get proof of the work being done, or be ready to do it yourself. I was shopping for an e39 540 when I learned about this issue, and decided to hunt for an e34 instead.
E34 540 6 speed manual. Wonderful car. You've all seen it before...


sent from Utah.

[PNWbrit]

When it was running, the exhaust sound was wonderful.

That it was. One of the all time great motors.

[basinbeater]

The minivan owners unite.

You all know it's true. No red blooded card carrying dude drives one and doesn't feel like he gave in.

Same with any dude that drives a generic looking "SUV" jelly bean amirite?

sent from Utah.

[Dantheman]

I bought an Alfa GTV6 as first car.

Which was fabulous but also foolish.

Honestly, at the time the Accord was pretty fabulous, especially compared the Subaru. It probably had almost as much power as the Alfa. Still makes me sad that I wrecked it and was such a fucking idiot at the time.

[MontuckyFried]

Same with any dude that drives a generic looking "SUV" jelly bean amirite?

Exactly. Personally, I'd rather drive ANY modern era minivan than a freaking Nissan Rogue or [insert generic crossover here] any day. Then again, I'm also a hudge wagon fan, which people used to rip on to before they were replaced by minivans. Then when those became known as the mom-mobiles, then came the SUV era. Now these days if you ask me, CUVs are the modern chick vehicle. Nothing wrong with a wagon or minivan any more. Haha.

Maybe Timber drives a Chevy Trax/Buick Encore.

[Timberridge]

I don't feel like I gave in one bit. I drove some Chevy and GMC full sized vans in the past and have to say, I like my 2011 Toyota Sienna a lot better.

Riser, please return your man card to:

VT State Office of Records
Attn: Man Registry
109 State St, Montpelier, VT

[Timberridge]

Exactly. Personally, I'd rather drive ANY modern era minivan than a freaking Nissan Rogue or [insert generic crossover here] any day. Then again, I'm also a hudge wagon fan, which people used to rip on to before they were replaced by minivans. Then when those became known as the mom-mobiles, then came the SUV era. Now these days if you ask me, CUVs are the modern chick vehicle. Nothing wrong with a wagon or minivan any more. Haha.

Maybe Timber drives a Chevy Trax/Buick Encore.

What's wrong with you people? I don't drive a CUV, or minivan. And describing minivan's as more manly than a CUV, well it's like saying I like to wear espadrilles, but hell no you won't catch me in a pair of sling back stillettos.

[nickwm21]

What’s more manly?
- Judging a vehicle by it’s economics and capability
Or
- Judging an individual by some preconceived bias of what vehicle they should drive based on outward-appearances

I’d say Timberridge has a man card to turn in....


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