Breaking News: Jan Ulrich Still An Ass

**rideit** · 08-11-2018, 11:29 AM

https://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/ar...r-13146451.php

**GeezerSteve** · 08-11-2018, 05:28 PM

what the fuck?

ETA: Ullrich admitted to psychiatric hospital

**rideit** · 08-11-2018, 05:33 PM

Testosterone.

**Skistack** · 08-11-2018, 06:07 PM

So choking prostitutes is illegal now?

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2018, 08:27 PM

It's ok, it's ok, calm down. I read yesterday that Lance got in touch with him, so, everything will be fine.

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2018, 08:29 PM

This is proof that some people should still spend five hours a day on a bike. Works off a lot of nervous energy.

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2018, 08:32 PM

And, oh, let's not forget, he was the only cyclist to be banned for using X. Bravo. Party on.

**rideit** · 08-11-2018, 08:37 PM

Good point.
That is a check in the 'OK' column.

**toast2266** · 08-11-2018, 09:34 PM

I'm like, "yeah, Metallica has been stupid for a while now." But then I realized this is sprockets. Different guy. Probably his brother, or something.

**Self Jupiter** · 08-11-2018, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by toast2266

I'm like, "yeah, Metallica has been stupid for a while now." But then I realized this is sprockets. Different guy. Probably his brother, or something.

Totally overrated drummer

**rideit** · 08-11-2018, 10:34 PM

I did spell the name wrong...

**mcski** · 08-11-2018, 10:49 PM

Is he the German Dan Tannah?

**teledad** · 08-15-2018, 11:44 PM

"Former Tour de France champion"... what a joke. Like he wasn't doping in 1997.

**Djongo Unchained** · 08-16-2018, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by toast2266

I'm like, "yeah, Metallica has been stupid for a while now." But then I realized this is sprockets. Different guy. Probably his brother, or something.

Years back I watched Lars Ulrich have a serious meltdown in the JH taco bell because the food was taking so long. I kept looking at him and then I saw the tour bus out in the lot.

Raising his voice bitching and stomping around. I was tempted to shit talk him.

Fucking clown.

**Self Jupiter** · 08-16-2018, 07:22 AM

^Guess that goes along with trying to subtly take too much credit for a band’s output that he had little to do with. Come on man, just enjoy the ride, you hit the lottery and you know it! He’s not terrible or anything, but 10s of thousands of fans would show up to see Metallica without him.

**jackstraw** · 08-16-2018, 07:43 AM

Fkn roadies

**ticketchecker** · 08-16-2018, 08:37 AM

don't be such a roadie

**stuckathuntermtn** · 08-16-2018, 08:52 AM

WTF is attempted manslaughter?

**Jong Lafitte** · 08-16-2018, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

WTF is attempted manslaughter?

[In America, which is not where this happened, its typically] Legal fiction. It has to do with when you formed the intent to deliver force that could have been deadly, not WHETHER or not you intended to hurt them at the point in time that it was happening. If he went into the entire situation intending to choke her it would then be attempted murder.

Example: Louisiana man convicted of attempted manslaughter for firing shots at a burglar who was at the time fleeing the man's home.

http://www.abajournal.com/news/artic...eeing_home_inv

Example: Roid raging and throwing a choke on an escort, who ultimately survives the ordeal:
https://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/ar...r-13146451.php

Example of attempted murder - someone on the lift asks "are those water skis?" You invite them for a beer at the bar later. You meet up and that's where you proceed to beat them with a tire iron but they don't die.

**happytimefunbox** · 08-16-2018, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by Djongo Unchained

Years back I watched Lars Ulrich have a serious meltdown in the JH taco bell because the food was taking so long. I kept looking at him and then I saw the tour bus out in the lot.

Raising his voice bitching and stomping around. I was tempted to shit talk him.

Fucking clown.

Wifes Mom in BFE Indiana in the early eighties at a gas station right off the interstate. A couple "long haired scruffy looking young men", as the MIL describes them, asked for a buck or two for some gas to get to their next gig. MIL asks what band. Metallica says the one guy. She said they were super nice and sincere so she filled up their tank and sent them on their way with good luck wishes. After presenting photos to the MIL she positively identified James Hetfield and Cliff Burton as the two guys. She said some short fucker with long hair and a swedish accent was inside giving the girl behind the counter a hard time because they didn't have Heineken.

The part about my MIL buying Metallica a tank of gas is true, the other part is pure speculation but highly probable

**stuckathuntermtn** · 08-16-2018, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by Jong Lafitte

[In America, which is not where this happened, its typically] Legal fiction. It has to do with when you formed the intent to deliver force that could have been deadly, not WHETHER or not you intended to hurt them at the point in time that it was happening. If he went into the entire situation intending to choke her it would then be attempted murder.

Example: Louisiana man convicted of attempted manslaughter for firing shots at a burglar who was at the time fleeing the man's home.

http://www.abajournal.com/news/artic...eeing_home_inv

Example: Roid raging and throwing a choke on an escort, who ultimately survives the ordeal:
https://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/ar...r-13146451.php

Example of attempted murder - someone on the lift asks "are those water skis?" You invite them for a beer at the bar later. You meet up and that's where you proceed to beat them with a tire iron but they don't die.

I get man slaughter, I've never heard of attempted, since that seems like an oxymoron to a non-lawyer.

**Flounder** · 08-16-2018, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

WTF is attempted manslaughter?

It's where they cut you some slack for being incompetent. You tried to kill someone and you failed yet again.

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