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  1. #1
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    The most offensive joke thread

    Come on...what is the most OFFENSIVE joke you have ever heard and/or told?

    I'll start with a mild one...

    What's the difference between vaginal blood and sand?

    You can't gargle sand.

    Okay, for any delicate flowers, don't read this thread. Everyone else, jump on and post 'em.

    Nanuq

  2. #2
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    Dec 2006
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    Seattle, WA
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    Why did Metallica cut their hair?

    Their hairdresser said it was the only way to get all that matted cum out of it.

    Why did God give Smashmouth three top ten singles?

    Well, it was a clerical error -- he meant to give them all AIDS.

    [Both penned by the one and only Neil Hamburger.]

  3. #3
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    May 2006
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    Eagle County
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    What's the worst part of being a child molester?

    The long walk back from the woods alone
    or
    Trying to get the blood out of the clown costume.

    I got some real bad ones but I will wait til this thread gets awful before I post those up. Hasn't this thread already been done?
    ROLL TIDE ROLL

  4. #4
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    where the deer and the cantaloupe play
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nanuq View Post
    Come on...what is the most OFFENSIVE joke you have ever heard and/or told?

    I'll start with a mild one...

    What's the difference between vaginal blood and sand?

    You can't gargle sand.

    Okay, for any delicate flowers, don't read this thread. Everyone else, jump on and post 'em.

    Nanuq
    What? That is by far the most far fetched joke I have ever heard. Vaginal blood? Ick.

    Here's one. It's not much, but it's a start

    How do you get a baby into a bowl?


    use a blender



    how do you get it out?



    Tostitos!
    Quote Originally Posted by Divebomber View Post
    OR sign it with a fake sig, then later they say "we have your sig!" NO you dont!

  5. #5
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    Oct 2007
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    Why don't you go down on a chick in the morning?

    You ever try to pry apart a peanut butter sandwich with your tongue...

    Nanuq

  6. #6
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    Idaho Falls
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    Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house?

    Neither did she.
    The Worst mistakes, make the best memories.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2007
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    What's red and orange and looks good on a hippy?

    Fire.


    Or, how do you get a hippy off a swing?

    Hit him in the head with an ax.

    Nanuq

  8. #8
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    I thought so....some real nice ones in this thread for reference.....


    https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...ght=jokes+tram
    ROLL TIDE ROLL

  9. #9
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    where the deer and the cantaloupe play
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donkey Punch View Post
    Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house?

    Neither did she.
    Yes!!!!!

    How do you piss hellen keller off?
    Give her a basketball

    Why did hellen keller's dog run away?
    You would too if your name was gnuhhrrrplsshhhh

    If hellen keller fell in the woods, would she make a sound?

    How did Hellen Keller burn her face?
    She answered the iron

    What is Hellen keller's favorite color?
    Corduroy

    Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
    Because she's a woman
    Quote Originally Posted by Divebomber View Post
    OR sign it with a fake sig, then later they say "we have your sig!" NO you dont!

  10. #10
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    How can you tell when a woman has had an orgasm?

    Who cares.


    THEN, tell this one, hopefully to a very gullible buddy with a few in him...

    You know how to make a woman have an orgasm?

    (to which, most gullible idjits answer...I dunno? How?)

    To which you say...you may want to work on that...

    Nanuq

  11. #11
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    north san juan CA (sorta nearish tahoe)
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    why did Michael Jackson loose the race?
    because he likes to come in a little behind.

    how do you know its bed time at the neverland ranch?
    when the big hand touches the litle hand.

    what does michael jackson like about 27 year olds?
    that theres twenty of them.
    Last edited by blarin; 10-30-2007 at 07:45 PM.

  12. #12
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    Seattle, WA
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    2,354
    why do they boil water when a baby is born?

    in case its dead, you can make soup

  13. #13
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    Oct 2005
    Posts
    30
    What did Hellen Keller say when she skied off the cliff?

    Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

  14. #14
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    Dec 2006
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    Salt Lake City
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    806
    How many dead baby's does it take to shingle a roof?
    Depends on how thinly you slice them.

    What is red and black and climbing up a womans leg?
    A homesick abortion.

    What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
    you can unload ONE of those trucks with a pitchfork.
    -James

    Quote Originally Posted by kidwoo View Post
    It doesn't behave well until it's going mach retarded.

  15. #15
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    Folsom, CA
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    536
    I heard a story about this girl who moved up to a little mining town in Nevada and was the first female the guys had seen in quite some time...after a couple weeks she was so disgusted with what she had been doing with herself she committed suicide

    ...a couple weeks later the guys in town were so disgusted with what they'd been doing they finally buried her

    ...a couple weeks after that they were so disgusted with what they'd been doing in teh mean time they dug her back up again
    A good friend would come bail you out of jail. A great friend would be sitting next to you saying..."but damn that was FUN"

  16. #16
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    Bottle King Beer Cooler
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    How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

    They left the plunger in the toilet.


    What is the difference between acne and a priest?

    Acne waits till you're 13 before it comes on your face.
    "The first panacea for a mismanaged nation is inflation of the currency; the second is war. Both bring a temporary prosperity; both bring a permanent ruin. But both are the refuge of political and economic opportunists."

  17. #17
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    Stowe
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    What does and odd womans pussy taste like

    depends

    What is jewish foreplay?

    2 hours of begging

  18. #18
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    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    You fuck her.

    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Tel the priest shes an alter boy.

    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Jerk off on your shoe and kick her in the twat.


    Nanuq

  19. #19
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    boulder, co
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    whats the difference between 10 dead babies and a Cadillac?



    I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

  20. #20
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    Bay Area
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    Pickup line:

    "Hey babe, let's not turn this rape into a murder"
    "Life's not a bitch. Life's a beautiful woman. You only call her a bitch 'cause she won't let you get that pussy." - Aesop

  21. #21
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    May 2006
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    Corner of Percocet and Depression
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    This is highly racist don't read it if you don't want to see it...



    What do you get when you cross a black guy and an octopus?

    I'm not sure, but you should see it pick cotton!

  22. #22
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    A guy hooks up with an old lady. The enxt day he says to her, "wow, I cannot believe you can still produce milk at your age, you know, when I was sucking on your titties..." To which she relies, "On that's not milk, I have breast cancer."

    Nanuq

  23. #23
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    How does every racist joke start (when this is said, look over your left shoulder, then over your right.)

    Nanuq

  24. #24
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    nocation, usa
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    Quote Originally Posted by madturtle View Post
    I heard a story about this girl who moved up to a little mining town in Nevada and was the first female the guys had seen in quite some time...after a couple weeks she was so disgusted with what she had been doing with herself she committed suicide

    ...a couple weeks later the guys in town were so disgusted with what they'd been doing they finally buried her

    ...a couple weeks after that they were so disgusted with what they'd been doing in teh mean time they dug her back up again
    Never heard that one....laughing hard

  25. #25
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    Hell's Kitchen, NY
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    I'm Lewis Black and these are very offensive.

    "What do you tell a black Jewish guy?"

    get to the back of the oven

    "Whats the best thing about having sex with a 15 year old girl?"

    when she takes a shower and pushes her hair back she looks like she is 12.
    My problem is with...authority!

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