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  1. #101
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    Ok, just some hippie jokes...

    whats more dumb than a box of rocks??
    the hippie that carries it accross the country.

    How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
    How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

    Why did the hippie cross the road?
    Who else would follow a chicken around?

    How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
    She's only got one sock.

    What do you call a hippy with a haircut?
    The defendant.

  2. #102
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    Calgary/Golden
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    5,536
    Two families moved from Pakistan to Edmonton. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet. In a year's time, whichever family had become more Canadian would win.

    A year later they met again. The first man said, 'My son is playing hockey, I had Tim Hortons for breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Molson's.

    How about you?'

    The second man replied, 'Fuck off, Paki.'
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Kaz is my co-pilot

  3. #103
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    Sep 2006
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    Comox,BC
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    683
    Probably already been posted but i dont feel like reading 10 pages

    -whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a lambo?

    -I dont have a lambo in my garage

  4. #104
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    Dec 2005
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    On the road again
    Posts
    935
    What's black, blue, and doesn't like to have sex?
    The 8 year old in my trunk

    What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
    1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenny Powers
    That's how the plague started back in the day...from a little disgusting bird bath in someones back yard that rats made sex to birds in and created a whole new type of AIDS

  5. #105
    Rasputin's Avatar
    Rasputin is online now Полые тростник на ветру
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrZach View Post
    What's even funnier that that!?

    The story of Rasputin's penis

    (yes, it's SFW)
    Now you're bringing back painful memories of past lives, but nothing that I haven't seen here before. You obviously aren't aware of my beginning here.

  6. #106
    Rasputin's Avatar
    Rasputin is online now Полые тростник на ветру
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    Quote Originally Posted by 72Twenty View Post
    Ok, just some hippie jokes...

    whats more dumb than a box of rocks??
    the hippie that carries it accross the country.

    How do you get 20 hippies into a phone booth? Throw in a joint.
    How do you get them out? Throw in a bar of soap.

    Why did the hippie cross the road?
    Who else would follow a chicken around?

    How do ya tell if a hippy chick is on the rag?
    She's only got one sock.

    What do you call a hippy with a haircut?
    The defendant.
    Now those are some GOOD hippy jokes, because they actually have something to do with hippy behavior. Also:

    How do you know if hippies have stayed at your house? They're still there.
    Last edited by Rasputin; 11-02-2007 at 01:22 AM.

  7. #107
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    Apr 2006
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    Clean Like Amonia, Sick Like Pneumonia, MA
    Posts
    509
    this one is hard to wright down, but if you say it out loud it works.


    What is the best thing about fucking twenty four year olds?


    There is twenty of them.
    If you have a problem with macdadmorgan, you have a problem with yourself.

  8. #108
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    Dec 2006
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    vajay hole
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    NOTE: mildly racist


    whats the difference between a jap and a hot pocket?



    -hot pockets dont scream when you nuke 'em

  9. #109
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    Dec 2005
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    Watching over the valley
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    Sorry for bringing it back from the dead, but I LOVE JOKES!!!!!!!

    What do you call an Ethiopian Woman with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese.


    What is the fastest animal in the world?

    Ethiopian chicken.


    What do you call two Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?

    Twix.


    What do walrus' and tupperware have in common?

    They both like a tight seal.


    What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

    Daddy get off me you are crushin my smikes.

  10. #110
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Adelaide Australia
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    451
    What's black and crispy with wheels at the top of the stairs?
    Christopher Reeve in a house fire.

    What's funnier than a drunken clown?
    A drunken clown with down syndrome.
    "When the mountains speak, wise men listen" -John Muir

  11. #111
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Southside of heaven
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    Quote Originally Posted by basinbeater
    What do you call an Ethiopian Woman with a yeast infection?

    Quarter pounder with cheese.
    that is fucking gross!

  12. #112
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    May 2006
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    Denver
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    Q: What's purple and sits in my basement?









    A: My Nigger! I can paint it whatever color I want!
    "The beacon says you're a douche."

    -My friend Nick during a little transceiver practice

  13. #113
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    Adelaide Australia
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    451
    What do you do after you rape a blind, deaf, mute?

    Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
    "When the mountains speak, wise men listen" -John Muir

  14. #114
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    Location
    Fort Collins
    Posts
    438
    A teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on an airplane with three orphans. The plane is crashing, the pilot and the co-pilot have already bailed out and there are only three parachutes left. The teacher says, "Quick, get the orphans into the parachutes. We've had our lives, let them have theirs!" The lawyer says, "Are you kidding... Screw the orphans." And the priest says, "Do you think we have time?"

  15. #115
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    Jan 2007
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    Calgary/Golden
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    What's the difference between a blonde and a fridge?

    THe fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Kaz is my co-pilot

  16. #116
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    Apr 2005
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    Sector 7G
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    5,693
    The young girl in the deeps woods of Appalachia wanted to go to her high school dance. So she asked her dad, "Daddy, can I go to the dance tonight?"

    "No, bobby sue, you've gotta stay home and do your chores."

    "But Daddy, I do just about ANYTHING if you'd let me go to the dance tonight."

    So the Dad thought about it for a minuet, and said, "Would you suck you daddy's dick?"

    Bobby sue thought about it and said, "Hummm, Ok"

    So she's down there going to town and gets this awful look on her face and says "Daddy, your dick tastes like shit!"

    "Yeah, your little brother wanted to go too."
    Last edited by Lonnie; 11-06-2007 at 07:47 AM.
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  17. #117
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    Nov 2006
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    Big Sky, MT
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    241
    I came up with a couple more:

    - what do you call a 500 lb woman sitting across the bar from you licking her lips and holding a condom? - - - a 1/4 ton pickup with a box liner.

    - a man comes home from work to find all his possessions on the front lawn. When he goes inside to confront his wife, he finds her hysterical - telling him to get the fuck out. He questions her and finally gets her to tell him that all the neighbors, all her friends and family think he's a pedophile. He thinks for a moment and replies - - - "pedophile...pedophile? Honey, c'mon, don't you think that's a pretty big word for a fifth grader?"

  18. #118
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    Jan 2007
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    Calgary/Golden
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    What is the best way to clean a dead baby out of a blender?




    Nacho chips.
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Kaz is my co-pilot

  19. #119
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    Dec 2006
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    Bay area, cali
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    1,901
    Quote Originally Posted by maddog View Post
    A teacher, a lawyer and a priest are on an airplane with three orphans. The plane is crashing, the pilot and the co-pilot have already bailed out and there are only three parachutes left. The teacher says, "Quick, get the orphans into the parachutes. We've had our lives, let them have theirs!" The lawyer says, "Are you kidding... Screw the orphans." And the priest says, "Do you think we have time?"
    hehe

  20. #120
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    Dec 2006
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    To Far From Steep
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    212
    What is red and hangs from trees?

    monkey miscarriages

  21. #121
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    Jan 2007
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    Calgary/Golden
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    What do you call a black man flying an airplane?













    the pilot.

    fugging racists
    It doesn't matter if you're a king or a little street sweeper...
    ...sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper
    -Death

    Kaz is my co-pilot

  22. #122
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    jh
    Posts
    93
    what's better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics?

    not being retarded

  23. #123
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,624
    what the only enlightening kind of church?

    a burning one
    ‎Preserving farness, nearness presences nearness in nearing that farness

  24. #124
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Wa wa..tatic
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    3,146
    What bubbles, and scratches at glass?

    A baby in a microwave.



    What do you call a white man surrounded by 3 black men? Victim.
    What about a white man surrounded by 5 black men? Coach.
    How about a white man surrounded by 10 black men? Quarterback.
    and a white man surrounded by a thousand black men? Warden.

  25. #125
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Pemberton, BC
    Posts
    1,453
    What's the best part about raping a 12yr old?






    Killing her afterwards.

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