The most offensive joke thread

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 09:44 PM

What's the difference between real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

**iceman** · 10-30-2007, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by 13

not a fan of the racist jokes.

q: what's better than a 12 year old thai boy?
a: nothing

Most nonsensical post of the year award.

w
t
f
?

**brice618** · 10-30-2007, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by 13

q: why is brice618 butt-hurt?

a: ask the 12 year old thai boy.

He was big, but not nearly as satisfying as your mom and sister.

Rooster · 10-30-2007, 09:55 PM

I'm not a racist I swear.

Q)How do you get five black guys to stop raping a white chick?

A)Throw them a basketball

**Phall** · 10-30-2007, 09:58 PM

oh man i might get slack for this one...but here it goes...

What do a tumble weed and a homosexual have in common?

They both blow, and blow, and blow, until they get tangled in a barbed wire fence in wyoming......

I AM SORRY FOR THIS....it is the most offensive one i know, and dont usually tell it for is sheer awfulness

**corn dog** · 10-30-2007, 10:02 PM

Have you heard the title of Salman Rushdie's new book?

"Buddha is a Fat Cunt".

**adrenalated** · 10-30-2007, 10:06 PM

How do you keep a baby from turning around in a hallway?

Stick a javelin through its throat.

Rooster · 10-30-2007, 10:19 PM

these are bad. found them on some other forum google led me too.
the original poster was not a racist for the record. All in good fun, or something. If you get offended don't read-simple.

How many Jews can you fit in a VW Bug?

-One in the drivers seat, one in the passengers seat, and 6 million in the ash tray

What does a Mexican get for Christmas?

-Your bike

Why do Mexicans refry their beans?

-Ever see a Mexican do something right the first time?

What do you call a Mexican baptism?

-A bean dip

Why did only 200 Mexicans show up at the alamo?

-They only had 4 cars to get there in

What do you call a barn full of black guys?

-Antique farm equipment

What does FUBU stand for?

-Farmers Used to Beat Us

What does Pontiac stand for?

-Poor old nigger thinks its a Cadillac

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys around him?

-Coach

What do you call a white guy with 10 black guys around him?

-Quarterback

What do you call 5 black guys hanging from a tree?

-A Mississippi windchime

**skibuminwyo** · 10-30-2007, 10:21 PM

you know what is gross? a pile of dead babies.
now you know what is grosser than that? the live one at the bottom eating his way to the top.

why couldn't the baby swim?
cause i popped his floaties

and this one, im sure will get flack, but it is the all time classic. *well for the south maybe*

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing, she's been told twice already.

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 10:31 PM

What's the difference between spit or swallow?
About ten pounds of pressure right behind the head.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 seconds.

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
The girlfriend says "Oh god baby...more...oh yes yeS YES." The wife says "Beige. I think the ceiling would look good in beige."

Why does Aspen have all the smarmy, uptight, psuedo-intellectual/psuedo-outdoorsy white people and New Jersey all the toxic waste dumps?
Jersey won the coin toss.

**Crock** · 10-30-2007, 10:38 PM

i find it funny all the "i'm not really racist" disclaimers. C'mon, everyone's racist in someway or another. People need to lighten up and just learn to laugh once in awhile.

What's pale, white, and bobs up and down in a crib?
My ass

A pedophile and a 4 yr old are walking into the woods late at night. the little kid says "i'm scared" and the guy says "you're scared, i gotta walk back alone..."

How do you save a baby from drowning?
take you foot off his head

What do you get when you decapitate a baby, light it's head on fire, and throw it down the stairs?
An erection

**Shaggy** · 10-30-2007, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by Crock

i find it funny all the "i'm not really racist" disclaimers. C'mon, everyone's racist in someway or another. People need to lighten up and just learn to laugh once in awhile.

I'm not racist ... I think everyone should own a black man.

**TahoePowShredder** · 10-30-2007, 10:58 PM

Q: what happened when the black man looked up his family tree?

A: a gorilla took a shit in his face

Q: how do you a starve a black man?

A: hide his food - stamps underneath his workboots.

Q:what did the black kid get on his SAT's?

A: BBQ sauce.

-----not racist one bit. these are just fuckin funny, and most of my black friends even get a kick out of racist jokes.

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:11 PM

You know whats funny?
Necropedobeastaphilia
deadbabyanimals(attraction to)

**CoAlpha** · 10-30-2007, 11:13 PM

JONG, worng forum JONGS!!

**TahoePowShredder** · 10-30-2007, 11:18 PM

^^^

i think you're the jong now dumbfuck!

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:20 PM

OFFENSIVE AND DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love those
nsfw
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u...iah/puking.jpg

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:22 PM

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:24 PM

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:25 PM

**adam** · 10-30-2007, 11:29 PM

nsfw
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y253/JiMpZ/hah.jpg

**RaccoonFace** · 10-31-2007, 12:05 AM

I'll try and touch all of the bases...

Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass?
A: Make a coffee table

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Add root beer!

Q: What do you give a dead baby on it's birthday?
A: A dead puppy.

Q: What is the best part about having sex with an 8 year old girl?
A: Her little hands make your dick look HUGE in the pictures!

A Rabbi and a Priest are walking through a park and the Priest looks over at a bunch of little kids and says to the Rabbi "Hey, lets go screw those kid." And the Rabbi says "Out of what?"

Q: What do you say to a Mexican on a bike?
A: "HEY THAT'S MY BIKE!

Q: Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike?
A: It might be your bike.

Q: What does a Mexican get for Christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: Why are a black guy's eyes red after sex?
A: Mace

Q: Why is it always a woman's fault if she gets in a car accident?
A: Forget that! What is she doing out of the kitchen?

okbye

**highflyingpilot** · 10-31-2007, 01:08 AM

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-three year olds?
There's Twenty of 'em!

What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
An erection.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
I don't cum on apples before I eat them.

I feel dirty...

**Deep Days** · 10-31-2007, 01:10 AM

Amanda, a young girl, asks her father if she can use the car for the evening. The father, a dirty, abusive old bastard, agrees, but on one condition: "You have to suck my dick, Amanda, you whore."

Amanda, not knowing of the taboos against incest, is somewhat reluctant, but after some coercion from the father agrees: "Fine, Dad, but let's make this quick. I'm ready to go out!"

She falls to her knees and begins to fellate her father. After a few moments she notices something odd and proclaims: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"

To which the father sheepishly replies: "Ah, dammit, that's right! Your brother's got the car tonight!"

Q: How do you know a lawyer's lying?

A: You can hear him speaking.

**Professor Chaos** · 10-31-2007, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by RaccoonFace

Q: What do you say to a Mexican on a bike?
A: "HEY THAT'S MY BIKE!

Ive got another version of this one.

Q:What does the Mexican dad get his son for Christmas?
A:Your bike.

And a few slightly worse ones.

Q:What the difference beteen a Somalian kid and a pair of jeans?
A:The pair of jeans only has one fly one it.

Now the storry of the n*gger eater:

One day, back in the early 1900s, an inventor creates the world first n*gger eater.

He decides to test it. So he get a few black people, throws them into the machine, and poof they dissapear.

Realizing what hes invented he runs to his Governor and shows the machine to him. The Governor, of course in doubt, asks him to show him how it works. So they get a few black people, throw them in, and poof, again, they dissapear.

The Governor, standing their amazed tells him that they have to take this to the President.

So the inventor and Governor go to Washington to show the President this machine. The President, doubting the machine, decides that he wants to see if it works for himself. So once again they get a few black people, throw them into the machine, and poof they dissapear.

As they all stand there, with the President in shock, the inventor grabs a Mexican worker and throws him in as well. Just as he does that the President asks him why he threw the Mexican in, to which the inventor replies "You gotta grease up the machine every once in a while".