The most offensive joke thread

**SkiEvil** · 10-30-2007, 08:18 PM

How do you circumcise a boy in West Virginia?

Kick his sister in the chin.

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 08:19 PM

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?

Art.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your front porch?

Matt.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms or legs?

Nigger nigger nigger...

Nanuq

**phuckhuck** · 10-30-2007, 08:20 PM

What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream to death?

Crib death

I win

**montanaskier** · 10-30-2007, 08:26 PM

Tiger Woods and Oprah Winfrey had the same nickname in highschool........................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ...........NI^%ER

A canadian friend told me that.....awful

13 · 10-30-2007, 08:37 PM

not a fan of the racist jokes.

q: what's better than a 12 year old thai boy?
a: nothing

**montanaskier** · 10-30-2007, 08:45 PM

agree the racist jokes are horrible, but so are the ped jokes. Essence of the thread, horrible jokes. Not a racist, but my racist joke was a horrible joke.

**RootSkier** · 10-30-2007, 08:45 PM

**montanaskier** · 10-30-2007, 08:50 PM

ok, ok, ok, so most horrible joke that is not a racist joke.......will be a better thread that way, agreed. Apologies if offended anyone.

**brice618** · 10-30-2007, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by 13

not a fan of the racist jokes.

q: what's better than a 12 year old thai boy?
a: nothing

Yeah, and kidding about sticking your penis in a 12 year old is the epitome of class... Your shit stinks too, don't try and say it doesn't. The point of the thread was made clear from the beginning.

**Blizzard7763** · 10-30-2007, 08:58 PM

So can you censor a thread dedicated to raunchy jokes? That seems like a violation of free speech, if you ask me. I'm as anti-racist as anyone else on this board, but given the context, I say let 'em fly. If you don't like it, don't click on "The most offensive joke thread".

My $.02.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

**TJ.Brk** · 10-30-2007, 09:01 PM

OK. I really shouldn't do this but I'll play.

So Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were walking through impoverish West Africa looking for another child to adopt. Suddenly Angie stops eating her rice cakes and said to Brad.

Angie: Brad what do you call a Darfurian walking a dog?

Brad: Golly Ang'. What do you call a Darfurian walking a dog?

Angie: A Vegitarian of course! ha ha ha

Brad: Hahahaha. Good one Angie. Hey what do you call a Darfurian walking 5 dogs?

Angie: Gosh Brad. I don't know. What do you call a Darfurian walking 5 dogs.

Brad: Why a Caterer of course! Ha ha ha ha ha

Yes I know that was completely tasteless. I'm bored and need to ski. Sue me

**Shen** · 10-30-2007, 09:05 PM

NSFW due to language:

Teddy Bear

**flyby** · 10-30-2007, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by TJ.Brk

OK. I really shouldn't do this but I'll play.

So Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were walking through impoverish West Africa looking for another child to adopt. Suddenly Angie stops eating her rice cakes and said to Brad.

Angie: Brad what do you call a Darfurian walking a dog?

Brad: Golly Ang'. What do you call a Darfurian walking a dog?

Angie: A Vegitarian of course! ha ha ha

Brad: Hahahaha. Good one Angie. Hey what do you call a Darfurian walking 5 dogs?

Angie: Gosh Brad. I don't know. What do you call a Darfurian walking 5 dogs.

Brad: Why a Caterer of course! Ha ha ha ha ha

Yes I know that was completely tasteless. I'm bored and need to ski. Sue me

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2qyE6WEq76E

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 09:12 PM

What's worse than a hippy drum circle?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Nanuq

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 09:14 PM

Oh good christ people. I doubt any of us here are racist, bigoted, or Jewish...well, some of us may be Jewish, but if you are, don't be so hard on yourselves...

Point here is PC shit goes to far. Lightne up and get it OUT IN THE OPEN. Laughter is the way to make sure we all don't BECOME racists, bigots or Jews...well, again...some of us may already be Jews...

Nanuq

Rooster · 10-30-2007, 09:18 PM

Q: How do you make a six-year-old girl cry twice?
A: Fuck her in the ass, then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.

Q: Why did Hitler cry when he got to heaven?
A: God gave him his gas bill.

Q: What's the best part about 6 year old girls?
A: After you're done with them, you can turn them over and use them as 6 year-old boys!

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A: Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

**skikola** · 10-30-2007, 09:20 PM

Well, I'll give it a shot, and keep in mind that these jokes don't reflect
my character, just crazy stuff i've heard. i take carlos mencia's stance- if you can't laugh at yourself,
you're fucked.

i'll throw some more dead baby jokes in here.

why couldn't the baby swim?
because there's no water in the bbq.
what's the difference between a truck load of dead babies
and a truck load of bowling balls?
one you can unload with a pitchfork.
what's better than nailing a dead baby to the wall?
ripping it off.
what's better than kicking a dead baby in the head?
nothing.

and some racist ones.

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
one screams when you put it in the oven.
how many jews can you fit in a volvo?
all of them - in the ashtray.
what did god say when he made the first black person?
ah fuck, i burnt one....
a truck driver was driving down the road in the deep south. he sees a little black boy walking with a bike with a broken tire. he pulls over and offers a ride, but warns that he's hauling bowling balls and will have to watch out for them in the back. so he continues on and gets pulled over for speeding. protocol says the cop should check the cargo, so he goes back and opens the door - his reaction is one of alarm as he runs back to his car and grabs the radio- "i need back up!!!! i just pulled over a truck-load of nigger eggs and one already hatched and stole a bicycle!!!!"

**korup** · 10-30-2007, 09:21 PM

Similar to an earlier one, but-

Somewhere is Arkansas, a teenage girl asks her dad if she can borrow the family car.

"Well, you know what you gotta do...."
"No, daddy, don't make me do that....!"
He unzips his pants, she starts doing her thing, then exclaims
"Daddy, it tastes like shit!"

"Oh, damn, I forgot. Yur brudder already has the car tonight...."

**samthaman** · 10-30-2007, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by Rooster

Q: How do you make a six-year-old girl cry twice?
A: Fuck her in the ass, then wipe your dick on her teddy bear.

Q: Why did Hitler cry when he got to heaven?
A: God gave him his gas bill.

Q: What's the best part about 6 year old girls?
A: After you're done with them, you can turn them over and use them as 6 year-old boys!

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A: Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

Wow, we may have a winner. those are awesomely offensive.

**Blizzard7763** · 10-30-2007, 09:24 PM

How do you make a baby crawl in circles?

Nail its foot to the floor.

How do you stop the baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other foot to the floor.

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 09:28 PM

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?

They keep falling through those holes in his hands

**Nanuq** · 10-30-2007, 09:31 PM

Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them: "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."

**TS Quint** · 10-30-2007, 09:35 PM

Pick-up line: "Hey, wanna go halves on a bastard?"

Joke: Q - Why didn't Superman prevent the planes from hitting the World Trade Buildings? A- Superman's in a fucking wheelchair!

13 · 10-30-2007, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by brice618

Yeah, and kidding about sticking your penis in a 12 year old is the epitome of class... Your shit stinks too, don't try and say it doesn't. The point of the thread was made clear from the beginning.

q: why is brice618 butt-hurt?

a: ask the 12 year old thai boy.

Rooster · 10-30-2007, 09:42 PM

a black guy is walking on the street with a big parrot on his shoulder.
a little boy comes up and says "sir, what an interesting animal you got there".
the parrot goes "yeah, i got him in Africa"

Q: Why do blondes where hoop hearrings.
A: So you have a place to hang their feet.