I almost assaulted a driver today

[Plakespear]

Alright- today was a beutiful spring day in the Delaware Valley. Perfect day to go out and ride for a few hours. So I'm about halfway into my ride, going through a small town called Yardley. I'm riding down the main street, staying to the right, obeying all traffic laws, when some dumb cunt in a Lexus SUV cuts me off pulling into a parking lot. I was inches from colliding with the vehicle, and was sure I was going to go over the bars until I managed to avoid getting hurt.

I chased the woman down, and pulled up next to her parking space. I just glared at her, until she rolled down the window.

Bitch: Yes?

Me: You nearly ran me over.

Bitch: Where?

Me: About 20 feet behind you when you pulled into the fucking driveway.

Bitch: Well I had my turn signal on before the light.

[now, the way she cut me off, she had to come around me from behind. She should have been aware of me.]

Me: (screaming so anyone in the vicinity might hear) FUCK YOU!

Why the hell are suburban women in $50,000 SUVs the worst drivers on the planet?

[Mountainman]

I've had this happen more times than i can count(well, not really, but it's happend a lot).

although i've never been pissed enough to chase down the car. Props to you man.

[Telenater]

Almost had a bus take me out the same way. I ended up laying my bike down with me in the gutter and my bike sliding under the back of the bus (behind the rear wheels).

Edit: the date of this was 9/11/01 and I hadn't seen any news yet. Ended up arriving at work quite shaken up and proceded to get more shaken up as I learned what was going on in the rest of the world.

[CUBUCK]

I'm from Yardley and could definetly see this happening there. There may not be anywhere else on the planet with more 50 year old women driving luxury SUVs.

Plake where are you from? When I'm home for a few weeks this summer we should meet up for a ride and a beer

[Plakespear]

Langhorne

[Crinkle]

Bucks County represent'n.

Plake, I'll be home in August, big party in Hatboro, mark it down aug. 14th.

[Benny Profane]

Look pedals? Think of the damage those cleats can do before you dash off into the sunset.

[tuffy109]

duct tape - i had a bus almost hit me the other day.

i've actually spat on cars, pounded on peoples cars while screaming at people, all that. new york city is fun to ride in.

[p-tex]

[edit] drunk rant - recalling days of stupid youth [/edit]

[Benny Profane]

Originally posted by tuffy109


new york city is fun to ride in.

I commuted from lower Westchester to midtown pre 911, so, a warning. Never say bad things to tough looking Dominican dudes when blowing through Washington Heights. And a lot of other places. Think of how many weapons are being carried at any time.....

[ak_powder_monkey]

Props to you Plake drivers need to learn some feaking respect for those of us who don't pollute the air

[fez]

I'll spit on any car that i feel has intruded on my space, whether walking or biking. I have good aim and i smoke weed and mt bike. Lots of gnarly green stuff.

A few years ago, i was riding cache/game loop in jackson and riding the highway back into town. As i went past the (old) alby's, an old lady pulled up right next to me as i was about to go past the entrance. I saw her front turn signal go on and promptly caved in her passenger door. I dont think she knew i was there and thought she hit me so she slammed on the brakes. I put the hammer down and tried to get out of there before she decided to make the turn anyway.

Some idiot in an rv decided this was his cue to pull out of the driveway, so two big cranks after a near dead stop, i nearly nose wheelied trying to not smack the side of the rv. as soon as he got out into traffic, i pulled up next to him and hucked a fat loogie on his wife's face/chest.

I bet that bastard heard about that for a couple thousand miles.



Back in the late 80's early 90's i used to have a mt bike frame building business and we made a few bikes for some friends who were bike messengers in boston. Track frames with flat black powder coat and no graphics. One of those guys carried a spare waterbottle of paint he would squirt on a car that got too close. Never bothered to do it myself, but if i was a messenger in boston i sure would.

[Grange]

I always wanted to confront an inconsiderate and dangerous driver after a close call, but never did. I'm glad someone stood up and chewed the bitch out. Hopefully she learned her lesson before she hurts someone.

Now the paint in a water bottle trick is a great idea.

[Benny Profane]

Oh yeah, I just remembered an incident that scared me more than pissed me off. I was riding rt. 100 above Mt. Kisco on a nice day. Huge shoulder, minimal traffic. Coming up on a small strip mall on the right, some dude pulls up behind me and turns right in front of me, almost hooking my front wheel. I follow him into the mall, shouting really nice things at him and his mother, but as he rolls his window down and I finally see his face, I realize that he is either really stupid or stoned or both. He could barely respond to me. But he had a license to drive.

[mushmouth]

living in NYC, I expect encounters like this at least one in ten rides.
Not my proudest moment, but I got ejected over the bars and almost run over by a group of four elderly people who rolled through a stop sign looking the wrong way. I came down hard on my wrist and before I felt any pain I jumped up and went right over to the driver window and screamed, "what the fuck is wrong with you!???!"
there was no answer, only four scared older people coming or going to church, sitting in the car simultaneously peeing their pants (i imagine).
I wasn't proud, but as far as I'm concerned, it could have been my girlfriend, my sister, my mother on the bike and if they had been seriously hurt by a forgetful old person, I would want that person's life ended.

[tuffy109]

Originally posted by fez
as soon as he got out into traffic, i pulled up next to him and hucked a fat loogie on his wife's face/chest.

hahahaha

[mildbill.]

have you ever seen what happens when a car bumper even taps a moving bike from behind? crumple crumple no more rear wheel.

you're on a bicycle. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!

[fez]

Originally posted by mildbill.
have you ever seen what happens when a car bumper even taps a moving bike from behind? crumple crumple no more rear wheel.

you're on a bicycle. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!

I've actually never seen that. What i have seen is what happens if my fist taps the face of someone threatening me. splat splat no more pretty nose.

What's your line of reasoning? if you hit a cyclist from behind it's their fault because they were in your way? What if semi-truck drivers took this logic of biggest vehicle has the right of way?


In most states bicycles are considered vehicles with as much right to the road as any other vehicle.

While most police departments do nothing to enforce this and protect cyclists on the road, I will defend myself with loogies, feet and fists if necessary.

And if you threaten me with your car and i happen to be able to find where you park, you can expect to find your valve cores under your windshield wiper when you come back to your car.

You sound like you would make a perfect Bozeman driver.

[mildbill.]

Originally posted by fez
I've actually never seen that. What i have seen is what happens if my fist taps the face of someone threatening me. splat splat no more pretty nose.

What's your line of reasoning? if you hit a cyclist from behind it's their fault because they were in your way? What if semi-truck drivers took this logic of biggest vehicle has the right of way?

i like your avatar. was that the face you made right before you spit on the 50 yr old woman?

you're on a 20 lb bike. it's a 2000 lb car. the car has the right of way.

do you get on the highway in a 4cylinder yugo that tops out at 45mph, surrounded by semis, and start cutting them off and throwing stuff otu the window at them when they don't give you a wide enough berth?

do you get in that yugo and get on the highway going the wrong way through the line of semis? and then throw paint at them?

do you pull out from the breakdown lane all the way across to the passing lane at 20 mph as the semis pass you at 80? and then vandalize the semis at the next truck stop?

the yugo has the same rights to the road as the semi, but sometimes physics is going to dictate the right of way.

btw the bumper-bike wheel comment was more because i saw it and it was fucking hilarious. if some douche sprayed paint on my car it would be much more fun to wipe it off with his hair.

now go slash some tires down at the retirement home.

[fez]

im actually a responsible cyclist and pedestrian. I usually obey the rules of the road, with the only exception of blowing through stop signs if i see no traffic coming. I give cars as wide a berth as possible, ride single file, don't cut them off, stay on the shoulder when i can. I use hand signals to indicate where I'm going. When walking, I cross the street in crosswalks when possible.

Drivers on the other hand, cut me off regularly, turn next to me, open car doors in front of me, even swerve into the breakdown lane in order to try and scare me. They blow crosswalks within a couple feet of me when i'm walking (not riding my bike in them).

It has nothing to do with speed, when riding around town, im usually going only a couple mph lower than the 25 posted speed limit and can get around town faster by bike than by car. Drivers do the same thing to motorcyclists who can easily go double the speed of the average car.

It's this whole pompous 'i'm bigger so i'm right' attitude that is threatening. Drivers think they can threaten cyclists and pedestrians with impunity because they are in their metal boxes. My goal is to change that perception. Although i've never resorted to chucking paint, i will kick or spit on any vehicle that invades my space. And yes, i do carry a valve stem remover. While crude, they are the weapons at my disposal.

So nancy boy, next time you're trying to run down cyclists, just remember, it might be me, so you better not miss.


and about your sig, i have an old ice tool id gladly send to you.

[mildbill.]

Originally posted by fez
So nancy boy, next time you're trying to run down cyclists, just remember, it might be me, so you better not miss.

just in case, i'm going to stop by the Y later this afternoon, grab a couple of the little old ladies in my grandmother's swimming class, so we'll have the muscle to scrap with your crew.

[fez]

Originally posted by mildbill.
just in case, i'm going to stop by the Y later this afternoon, grab a couple of the little old ladies in my grandmother's swimming class, so we'll have the muscle to scrap with your crew.

By the way, what is with this fascination you have with little old ladies?

I guess if you feel you need backup and that's the best you can do go for it, nancy boy.

You sure you aren't just going to check them out in their swimsuits?

[mildbill.]

Originally posted by fez

You sure you aren't just going to check them out in their swimsuits?

i was going to take a page from your playbook and spit on them as they got in their cars, or kick their doors as they pulled out of the lot, because, hey, i was walking across the parking lot, why shoudl i ahve to break stride for 2000 lbs of metal.

[fez]

you are definitely writing your own play book there.

I've never done anything like that.

But hey, if its what you are into, go for it.

[mildbill.]

Originally posted by fez
an old lady pulled up right next to me as i was about to go past the entrance. I saw her front turn signal go on and promptly caved in her passenger door.

yeah, you sure haven't.