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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Not here
    Posts
    38

    Thumbs up She's gone...want to move

    Well it's done. I finally got rid of my cunt of an old lady. 20 Fucking years down the drain. But anyway i'm moving on I and i want to start a new life in the west
    That Bitch took all my money so I am just gonna leave. on my own and i thought skiing might be a good pursuit and i will start an mountain life I'm a pretty hard worker so hopfully I will be able to make some bread along the way. Any of y'all made the trip with no plan or anything? curious fo' advice?
    Anyway she'll be sorry when she see's me in my next life.
    I'll defecate in a box if I have to.

  2. #2
    Jamie Guest
    Got any naked shots of your ex? That'll help get over her.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    C-Town
    Posts
    5,542
    Plus it would instantly remove your JONG status.
    Quote Originally Posted by twodogs View Post
    Hey Phill, why don't you post your tax returns, here on TGR, asshole. And your birth certificate.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
    Posts
    3,806
    Post em up.
    You are what you eat.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    There's no such thing as bad snow, just shitty skiers.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    3,972
    I hope this helps your Dear Abby JONG syndrome

    Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
    Adrian belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
    Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
    Peter wolf (keyboards)
    Patrick ohearn (bass, vocals)
    Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
    Ed mann (percussion, vocals)
    Napoleon murphy brock (background vocals)
    Andre lewis (background vocals)
    Randy thornton (background vocals)
    Davey moire (background vocals)

    Hey! do you know what you are?
    Youre an asshole! an asshole!

    Some of you might not agree
    cause you probably likes a lot of misery
    But think a while and you will see...
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Are you an asshole?
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Are you an asshole too?
    Whatcha gonna do, cause youre an asshole...

    Maybe you think youre a lonely guy
    Maybe you think youre too tough to cry
    So you went to the grape,
    Just to give it a try
    And dagmar
    Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
    Was his name...
    One two three four!
    The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
    Pancake make-up
    And yet he was a beautiful lady
    Nearly drove you insane
    Lets talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
    And so you kissed a little sailor
    Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
    Who had just blew in from spain
    Sir richard pump-a-loaf
    You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
    The story of a demented bread-boffer
    And acted like it was cocaine
    Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
    You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
    Then on tuesday night, ceasars back in town
    In a way you cant explain
    Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
    With kona.
    And so you worked the wall with michael
    Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
    Which gave your back an awful strain
    Volcanic hell
    But you came back on sunday for the gong show
    Next thursday, teen towns finest...
    But you forgot what I was sayin
    cause youre an asshole, youre an asshole
    Thats right
    Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
    Yes, yes
    Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
    Thats right
    Youre an asshole, youre an asshole

    Now you been to the grape n you been to the chest
    n now I think you know what you are: youre an asshole

    You say you cant live with what you been through
    Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
    You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of you,
    But dont fool yerself girl
    Its lookin at you
    Dont fool yerself girl
    Its winkin at you
    Dont fool yerself girl
    Its blinkin at you
    Thats why I say
    Im gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Corn hole
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Fist fuck
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Wrist-watch; crisco
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Pud!

    Dont fool yerself, girl
    Its goin right up yer poop chute
    Dont fool yerself, girl
    Its goin right up yer poop chute
    (etc., repeats)

    Aw, I knew youd be surprised...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    Go to Vail and yell "Brett I need you" at the top of your lungs three times, he'll show up just like Beetlejuice.

    If this isn't a troll, good luck with the new life and sorry about the old one. Plenty of work to do in SLC and the skiing doesn't suck.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    TGR Forum
    Posts
    523
    Welcome TedSki! Brilliant first post.

    Is that really you in your avatar? If it is you may want to remove it ASAP because that's crazy! WC


    edit: Oh, I forgot, forget her she is the one missing out.
    Last edited by dn4989; 08-03-2007 at 04:32 PM.
    It's got more paprika.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Whitefish
    Posts
    4,501
    Just bring the bare essentials and some money for hookers. You'll be just fine

  9. #9
    Jamie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Go to Vail and yell "Brett I need you" at the top of your lungs three times, he'll show up just like Beetlejuice.
    What happens when he shows up?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    35,321
    CORN HOLE!

    Everybody's high on consolation
    Everybody's trying to tell me
    What is right for me, yeah
    I need a drink and a quick decision
    Now it's up to me, ooooh what will be

    (Chorus)
    She's gone, she's gone
    Oh, why
    Oh, why
    I better learn how to face it
    She's gone, she's gone
    Oh, why
    Oh, why
    I'd pay the devil to replace her
    She's gone, she's gone
    Oh, why
    What went wrong

    Get up in the morning, look in the mirror
    One less tooth brush hanging in the stand
    My face ain't looking any younger
    Now what I can see
    Love's taken a toll on me

    (Chorus)

    Think I'll spend eternity in the city
    Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
    And pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
    There can never be what she once was to me

    (Chorus)
    Last edited by rideit; 08-03-2007 at 04:39 PM.
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    C-Town
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    5,542
    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
    What happens when he shows up?
    .........
    Quote Originally Posted by twodogs View Post
    Hey Phill, why don't you post your tax returns, here on TGR, asshole. And your birth certificate.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    TGR Forum
    Posts
    523
    Quote Originally Posted by Phill View Post
    WC:
    It's got more paprika.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
    What happens when he shows up?
    Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

    Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Redwood City and Alpine Meadows, CA
    Posts
    8,277
    Quote Originally Posted by Phill View Post
    lolled.

    rly.
    not counting days 2016-17

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
    Posts
    15,932
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

    Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.
    Actually, I could make all that happen. (with naked pics of the ex of course)

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    33,538
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Brett will take him in, give him a place to crash, feed him, show him some sick stashes, help him find a place to live and a job, and just generally be a both a helping hand and a shoulder to lean on.

    Because that's how the man is. He's all about the community.
    I thought he was a community?
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
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    15,932
    Quote Originally Posted by Phill View Post
    Phill made a funny! Even I laughed.

    Rootskier cried cuz you made a funny referring to "buttsecks"

  18. #18
    Jamie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    I thought he was a community?
    Not until he gets the maggot house established. Then he will be a community.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
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    15,932
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    I thought he was a community?
    No, not like your moms cooch.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
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    15,932
    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
    Not until he gets the maggot house established. Then he will be a community.
    You didn't get the memo? We're all staying at phUnks insteAD.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wyoming
    Posts
    742
    Thats the best post Phill has ever made. I am actually glad hes not on my ignore list right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by TWINS View Post
    I love it when shitweasels get there panties all in a bunch.

  22. #22
    Jamie Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by BlurredElevens View Post
    You didn't get the memo? We're all staying at phUnks insteAD.
    Fuck, I'm out. I'm into the whole community thing and all, but the thought of a skinny midget trying to play 'hide the salami' with me in the middle of the night scares me. That PHunk guy is sketchball.

  23. #23
    Jamie Guest
    Maybe the dude is uploading the pics........................

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Not here
    Posts
    38
    You guys sound as crazzz as me . still don't know where i'm going but I'm not lookin back so you won't here any more cryin in my beer out of me. I am determined to make this the start of my life not the end.


    Thanks for the feedback.
    I'll defecate in a box if I have to.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tedski View Post
    You guys sound as crazzz as me . still don't know where i'm going but I'm not lookin back so you won't here any more cryin in my beer out of me. I am determined to make this the start of my life not the end.


    Thanks for the feedback.
    No offense, but it's a good thing you got rid of that bitch.

    She was fucking everybody I know.

    Good riddance.

    BTW-what's her e-mail addy?

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