You think you're hard up?

**Right Coaster** · 08-01-2007, 06:47 AM

I've known dumb fuckers, mother fuckers and lazy fuckers. Cow fuckers are a completely foreign concept.

http://burlingtonfreepress.com/apps/.../NEWS/70801010

Man admits sexually molesting cows

The Associated Press

August 1, 2007
BARRE — A 56-year-old Fayston man has pleaded no contest to a charge of unlawful trespass in a case in which police say he admitted entering a dairy barn to have sex with the cows.

Gregory Viens was ordered to pay $601 in fines on the trespass charge. In a similar case dating from 2000, police decided against bringing a cruelty-to-animals charge against Viens after consulting with a veterinarian, who said no harm came to the cows.

On May 29, an employee at the Scribner Farm on River Road in Moretown caught Viens in the barn after spotting his vehicle nearby. Court documents said farm employees suspected Viens had been trespassing on the property and had a history of having sex with cows.

The farm employee held Viens until police arrived a short time later. Vermont Police State Police Sgt. Marc Thomas wrote in a sworn affidavit that Viens admitted that he was in the barn to have sex with the animals.

**Tuckerman** · 08-01-2007, 07:34 AM

Well it is VT. maybe one day he will be able to a a cow as his bride unless someone objects to that in VT.

**DBdude** · 08-01-2007, 07:40 AM

I wonder what the age of consent for a cow is in Vermont.

**Tuckerman** · 08-01-2007, 07:52 AM

I think having sex with veal is called pedophilia.

**Steven S. Dallas** · 08-01-2007, 07:59 AM

So that's why they call him "T-Bone."

**shmerham** · 08-01-2007, 08:06 AM

There are still more females than males on the planet, but for the last 40 years, there have been more males born. If you're a dude that's under 50, and you're a 1 or a 2, you may not be able to go for the ugliest of the fat chicks because all the 3's and 4's took them. So, a cow may be your only option. As long as the cow didn't say no, I can't really fault the guy. A man's gotta get laid.

**gregm** · 08-01-2007, 09:58 AM

at least this shows it's not just happening in enumenclaw, wa.

LT · 08-01-2007, 10:21 AM

Classic! Not quite so proud of my VT heritage today.

I think you should offer to represent him, you know just to diversify your resume.

**FrankZappa** · 08-01-2007, 10:26 AM

Yep, that dude needs some form of cownseling.

**skimoore** · 08-01-2007, 10:31 AM

I mean, realistically, $600 is less than he would have spent on dates anyways, so maybe he's just fiscally savvy?

**Right Coaster** · 08-01-2007, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by skimoore

so maybe he's just fiscally savvy?

Or he's burned the bridge with his sister.

I wonder if he recognizes this as a low in his life, or if he's psyched to walk on the trespass charge and move on to greener pastures.

**frorider** · 08-01-2007, 11:01 AM

i think i saw a reader comment in a burlington newspaper that said

just another example of the dairy industry getting screwed

**Crass3000** · 08-01-2007, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by skimoore

I mean, realistically, $600 is less than he would have spent on dates anyways, so maybe he's just fiscally savvy?

I think you have a point here. How many women that you date have you dimemebered and eaten after the sex and relationship went bad. I think in this case you would have to agree that it wouldn't be all that much of a taboo (well at least the eating part). Maybe I'm playing my cards wrong.