The "A" Factor

[enlosandes]

Maybe you can get some female inmates to do virtual 3somes.

Now your talking!

When can we expect some pix and a TR from your trip?

[MakersTeleMark]

Now your talking!

When can we expect some pix and a TR from your trip?

Sarah just dropped off her camera at my office a couple of hours ago. Should get something up by tomorrow.

[enlosandes]

¡Dale! ¡Listo!

[covert]

my bus from santiago to mendoza yesterday departed from the arrivals area of the domestic bus terminal.

the "A" factor knows not los fronteras internacionales. anywhere there is an "A" there is factor. it's a little known fact that the "A" factor is the fastest growing factor in the world. it's influence and power is spreading more rapidly than the church of latter day saints. the factor will not rest until everything is industria argentina. fortunately, unlike the mormons, the factor is limited by it's need for maté. until the global supply and distribution network of maté is improved the factor is subject to crippling lethargy as soon as it runs out of this critical stimulant. lucky for us. stay tuned for pictures of the special tool required to use the toaster here....

[Doremite]

Does this mean that all the world's ski centers will soon have those ridiculous turn styles featured at Cerro Catedral. Those that make all look like a buffon trying to pass through and featured at ALL lifts, including those inaccessible without already having flailed through a lower lift turnstyle. C'mon, does Catedral have thay many hikers/skinners accessing upper lifts to avoid buying a $100 peso lift ticket that they need to install those things at EVERY lift. Often having a mismatch between the number of turnstyles and number of bodies that can fit on the lift. ....although would welcome in the US their anarchy style of line managment. Every speck of snow must be covered by someone's ski equipment or jong failing to fill said space gets agressively rear-ended by anxious A behind them....

[klar]

C'mon, does Catedral have thay many hikers/skinners accessing upper lifts to avoid buying a $100 peso lift ticket that they need to install those things at EVERY lift.

yes.

and if not all the controls function flawlessly that is a good thing...

[thalweg]

How about: put a 5 m electrified sign on the busiest street in the country, with someone flailing their way to glory.

[MakersTeleMark]

Did anyone else notice the absolute proliferation of 212 sexy across AR this year?

[covert]

believe it or not this was my first planned departure from the international airport in buenos aires. due to unfathomable rumors regarding antiquated radar systems, disgruntled airline employees and chronic fuel shortages, i'd hitherto operated under the assumption that santiago was a more reliable point of departure.

in seven years i've perfected the pronunciation of "estados unidos" and the cab driver complimented me on my castellano as he dropped my off at ezeiza's B terminal. i tipped him kindly, proceeded through the front door and into some sort of dormant construction zone. from there i stared about vacantly for several moments then retreated and hauled my gear over to the A terminal for check in.

in the A terminal i was pleased to see that the check-in lines were short and people seemed to be receiving actual boarding passes after conversing with the attendants. several passes back and forth failed to locate the aerolineas argentinas counter until i finally noticed a giant queue snaking around the corner to some unknown locale. a little recon confirmed that this queue was indeed the means of access to the aerolineas check-in cavern so i sighed and joined the throng. after an hour of patiently shuffling forward and wondering if the man behind me wanted to form a relationship i finally found myself face to face with one of the hot chicks that is responsible for all matters of consequence in argentina and politlely reconoitered her cleavage while she plugged all my beta into the computer and prepared my boarding pass. senorita hottie then enquired whether i would like my instructions in english or spanish. pleased at this unexpected convenience i replied with a resounding "english" and focused intently (on her words) as she detailed my escape route. pay airport tax, clear immigration, go to gate and get on plane. how hard could that be? travel in a semi-circle then turn left, go up, left again, straight line, down, right, straight....her gesticulations were making me dizzy so i decided, savvy traveller that i am, i could ignore her instructions.

paid airport tax no problem. sweet. at this point i consulted my treasure map/boarding pass for gate info and discovered that i was departing from gate B. "hmmm, seems a bit odd, never heard of a gate B before, better go smoke that last dubie and fire up my mental navigational resources." sidewalk full of cops, very unexpected being in an airport and all. no problem, i'll just walk over there by the rental cars. brilliant. mission accomplished sin problemas. i returned to the A terminal and confirmed my initial assesment that there were no signs directing people towards a gate B. checked the scheduled departures monitor and was pleased to discover them claiming my flight existed and was on time. unfortunately the monitors were not apprised of what time that might be and they must have run out of "B"s because the gate field was left blank. "perhaps the B refers to terminal B" i thought. still had some time so i returned to the dormant construction zone in terminal B and went up the escalator where i encountered a hallway populated by a single police officer sitting at a desk. "hmmm." when in doubt act like you are the genius that owns the place. i asked him where the "exits" for caracas were and he frowned and snatched my ticket. after a cursory examination he directed me back to the A terminal and then repeated the series of gesticulations that the breas....woman at the ticket counter had made earlier. no problem. on my return i discovered an interesting geographical convergence. when walking to the A terminal all of the signs indicated that i was heading for the departure area however when walking to the b terminal all of the signs had said the same thing. curious. the epicenter of this convergence seemed to divert the universe towards a chain link fence. i knew this was no black hole since i could clearly see light escaping from behind the fence. it seemed appropriate to chuckle, ignore the signs and continue my quest.

back in terminal A i located the escalator to the second floor, walked up it and encountered an installation that looked suspiciously like an immigration checkpoint. the government of argentina seemed happy enough to let me go without even a word of thanks for all the contructive criticism i'd offered their citizens over the course of the season so i proceeded through immigration and into the duty free shop where i was pleasantly distracted for several minutes by purchasing whiskey. the first check-out line was populated by a woman with a dozen bottles of perfume patiently chatting with the cashier regarding the cost and quality of each. the second seemed to be occupied by another woman attempting to purchase several items of crap by varying methods. clearly number two was the preferred option. i was about to inform the woman that she could buy whiskey in this store when it occured to me that i might be back someday and need more whiskey, so i kept my mouth shut. ten minutes later i was on my way.

i was on my way through a complex system of gates, bridges and corridors that seemed to be taking me back to terminal B. the monitors had still not been apprised of the hour or location of my departure but my fortified logic insisted that surely gate B must be somewhere between 9 and 18. the gps and compass were in my checked luggage so it was just me against the signs at this point. after another ten minutes of walking i had a glimpse of victory. someone had taped a printout of the letter "B" to one of the signs indicating the way to gates 9-18. could there ever have been any doubt? i decided to savor my triumph over a cigarette in the corridor/bridge/smoking area somewhere above the previously mentioned geographical vortex. sweet. after a refreshing few minutes of inhaling the sweet poisons i proceeded towards gate B and found it between 12 and 13. of course. i immediately deduced that either departure locations were based on the old zoroastrian hexidecimal system or B was simply a victim of the wannabe black hole that lay somewhere beneath us.

the massive line of large fake breasts and pimpin' dudes beginning at the door marked B said clearly to me that this plane was bound for venezuela. i was now a step ahead of the departure monitors but decided it would be prudent to confirm. i marched up to the counter and asked the woman in my best castellano voice of inquiry (think oliver asking for more gruel) if this "door" was going to caracas. she nodded, smiled and said "si." that means yes. full of self-satisfaction i leaned against the wall and watched the line grow and grow. wouldn't they all feel silly when we boarded by seating assignment i gloated. my way was bound to falter at some point. we were instructed to board melee fashion and after a moments hesitation i re-grouped and resorted to plan b. schooled in the chaos of spring break at caris and marte i spotted a weakness near the front of the line and confidently inserted myself. act like you own the place, never look back.

apparently the line was for a bus not a plane but i was commited at this point. the bus passed several times through the vortex and did eventually deposit us near an aircraft, phew. it had been quite a long time (if ever) since i'd heard anyone announce "caracas" but i confidently took my seat and tried to be subtle in my reconnaisance of the silicon wonders to my left. eventually someone did announce the plane was going to caracas and i remembered to put on my sunglasses. all was right with the world...until they lost my luggage. final "A" factor of the season? somehow i doubt it...

bonus photo of the special tool they use to remove toast from the toaster at the alamo hostel in mendoza. no bare feet.

Attachment 31694

[klar]

that's not a-factor. that's covert is an idiot-factor.

muy gracioso

[covert]

hi, my name is covert and it's been almost five days since i've sipped maté, ate an alfajore or skied a volcano...

[RootSkier]

Do day tickets at Catedral really cost 100 pesos?

[Altanaut]

I have a lot of experience with this part of the world and sympathize with the previous posters. Lately, my pet A-factor peeve is that lying -- all the time and for no good reason -- is the rule rather than the exception when dealing with anyone but close friends and family.

This is most obvious when dealing with retail businesses. If you are looking for an item that you purchased in a store, say two weeks ago, but is now nowhere to be found, you might be told "they don't make it any more," "the truck bringing it in crashed," or "we expect it to arrive tomorrow." (Repeat this last one day after day after day, ad nauseum.) This attitude of a pliable reality is totally commonplace.

I could go on with other A-gripes but will leave you with these thoughts. First, the food there is tremendous, and it makes up for at least some of the inconveniences of the place. Second, the next time you are fed up by A-factors, take solace in the following old joke (apparently known to all Argentines):

When God was creating the earth and all its creatures, He got to what would one day be Argentina and gave the place a wealth of natural resources and mind-boggling scenery. One of the angels, shocked by this, was compelled to approach God, saying "Hey Dude, this isn't really fair to the rest of the world -- you're giving this one country too much!" ... To which God responded "Don't worry. I'll fill the place with Argentines!"

Chau.

[801 jav]

all was right with the world...until they lost my luggage. final "A" factor of the season? somehow i doubt it...


Attachment 31694

I hate lost or delayed luggage... my nightmare. I have paid extra money to get on flights with limited connections. One connection flight within the US, and a direct flight to Santiago from DFW through AA. Same flight schedule coming back. Fewer connections, less chance the luggage gets put on the wrong flight....?? sounds logical... or it's just my personal paranoia about lost luggage.

[enlosandes]

Well its been a while for some good A factor for me. I was really starting to think I had overcome it, but not. Here's one fresh off the press. The government decided last week to have a daylight savings time for the summer. The reason, to conserve energy. Perhaps someone smarter than I can explain how this would help with conservation. It will take affect tonight at midnight. No one I know down here knows about this, and we have family in BA scheduled to fly out on Monday. I think we best call them and inform them of the latest A Factorization.

[covert]

bummer,

at least you don't have "v" factor. chavez decided to change all the clocks in vz a half hour. some of the clocks have been changed, much confusion has ensued. crushing the "s" factor here. pray for snow amigo...

[enlosandes]

Today's A factor involves booking a flight on line with Aerolineas Argentina. No way to pay by credit card online. So, I called them, and they tell me they don't except credit card payments on the weekend. I told them that when I booked, they said the reservation needed to be paid within 24 hours or it would be lost. The lady confirmed it is 24 business hours. Riiight! We will see tomorrow if my reservation is still in tact!

[enlosandes]

Kind of quiet on the A Factor front, but had one today I thought I should share. We property manage lakefront house here in Bariloche. I recieved a call from the alarm company that the security system had gone off. They asked if they should send the police over to check it out and I said sure. I then drove over to the property (about 3 minutes from our house) to check it out. About 2 blocks from the house, I came up on a police car with half its light bar on driving in reverse down the street. I passed them and two minutes later they arrived at the house after me. They looked around and said "todo bien". They then had me write down my name and document number on a piece of scrap paper.

No big deal, but I couldn't help but chuckle when I think about what they were doing driving backwards down the street with their lights on. Maybe its some cutting edge SWAT technique?

[covert]

Bump for the 2008 shit show!

the factor reached out and grabbed me all the way up here in silverton the other day. what the fuck! apparently silverton occupies some sort of road damage zone on the information super-highway.

the andesmar website worked great up until it was time to choose my seat...then nothing. i spent two days trying it with different computers, browsers, clicking sequences and voodoo incantations to no avail.

in a flash of insight i emailed a friend in bogota thinking perhaps they had developed some kind of proximal resistance to the "a" factor. sure enough, website works great in bogota. so that's my advice if you have problems with the andesmar website. find someone in colombia to help

[enlosandes]

Way to unravel the mystery! Don't ask someone is Chili though, the Argies and the Chilenos are worse than the Hatfields and the McCoys!

[Bob O]

covert, enloasandes,

great stories....obviously not a place for agro people.

[enlosandes]

covert, enloasandes,

great stories....obviously not a place for agro people.

Except in the lift line!

[enlosandes]

The Perito Moreno Glaciar in southern Patagonia ruptured the other day, as it does every few years, although this was the first time in winter. Since there was advanced warning it was going to happen, the Argie government had the foresight to set up a live web feed. However, 2 days before the glaciar fell, the feed stopped working. The website read there was bad weather problems, although the 40 or so people there reported the weather was clear. Here's a you tube clip of the event. Classic A Factor, have the video feed all set up but not work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZJYN8qnirE

[snowful]

^^^^^ Cool vid! Thanks.

Love reading all the stories. Someday....

[enlosandes]

I believe we have a new entry of epic proportions.
http://tetongravity.com/forums/showt...=1#post2075484
I feel for those that made the voyage to the end of the world. I suspect there is some redemption available.