The "A" Factor

[BeanDip4All]

I am just here to say that this is a cool thread. loving the stories!

[enlosandes]

I am just here to say that this is a cool thread. loving the stories!

So the Iron Woman doens't have enuff going on now that she bagged the Kentucky challenge?

[Yossarian]

I am going to have some serious A factor stuff to add when I get a chance.
So far it's Gringo 2, A Factor 2, but it changes daily and even hourly.

[RootSkier]

OK, here goes.

My stomach had been hurting for like two days. I thought I was constipated so I just kept drinking mate, but nothing worthwhile would come out.

On the third day, I wake up in the middle of the night in severe pain. I tell my girlfriend that I am pretty sure I need to go to the hospital. Luckily, the family we are staying with has two kids who are medical students and they are home for summer break (this was about January 4). So Martin drives us to the private hospital.

Now, a little background. Martin's dad was a well known doctor in town. Everyone knows their last name, but since he died Mrs. Galindez has been having foreign language students staying there to pay the bills. Okay...

So we arrive at the private hospital in the middle of the night. After about 45 minutes I finally get taken past the waiting room (there was not a single other person waiting). I then lay on a bed for about an hour before a doctor shows up. He pokes and prods, all the while Martin is helping translate medical terms I am not familiar with. Diagnosis: appendicitis.

So they ask for my local insurance. Uh oh. How about my student travel insurance, my Blue Cross (which WILL cover me there), or a Visa? No, no, and no. You need surgery ASAP but you must leave, they tell me.

So off the public hospital we go. This place is fucking grim. The ER has some rough cases in it (most don't look local, though), and the paint is literally peeling from the walls.

Diagnosis: appendicitis. They shuffle me up to a semi private room (one other guy) and the first thing that happens is a nurse follows me into the bathroom with a jug of some brown liquid and tells me to get in the shower. There is no hot water, so I take a shower in ice cold water and dump the brown stuff over my head. I guess I was delousing myself? She was watching me like a hawk the whole time. Let's just say it wasn't my proudest moment, and I will never view the Seinfeld turtle episode the same again.

Anyways, doctor comes in in the morning and tells me surgery will be at noon. At around 2pm they come for me, first making me take ANOTHER ice cold shower, then wheel me out on a gurney down the hall. On the way to the OR we pass some rooms with like 30 patients, and lots of moaning and crying. Oh fuck I thought, I am surely going to die now.

They wheel me into the OR staging area and pass me through some bizarre window in the actual OR. At this point, the nurses are asking me my weight and I just cannot do the math to convert 160 pounds to kilograms. Neither can they. This is the last thing I remember for awhile.

Next I wake up, still in the OR, and though I have no idea what I said, suddenly everyone is laughing. Apparently I made a funny. However, the laughter immediately turns to concern...I guess I wasn't supposed to wake up while they were in the middle of stitching me up.

Next thing I remember is being wheeled out, in great pain, and there was a concrete ramp with huge ruts in it that violently shook the gurney. Great pain ensues.

Fast forward to the middle of that night, when I wake up in some of the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced. Not sure what to do, I crawl along the wall toward the hallway, where it is pitch fucking black. I am mumbling, 'enfermera, enfermera..." and there is no response. I guess I woke up my roommate because he lets out a scream, "ENFERMERA!!!!!!!"

Soon enough they come and give me a shot, which is all well and good, except that I then proceed to experience five hours of FULL ON hallucinations, visual and aural. It was freaky but sorta cool.

Anyways, two days later I am released. The bill? 155 pesos.

Getting the stitches out is a whole 'nother story, but that is my A factor memory.

edit: this was in Bariloche. You should go on a field trip to the hospital publico if you get bored. It's a real eye opener.

[Yossarian]

Sweet jeezes guy.

On the one hand, now I'm feeling like I really don't want to be here with a busted rib.

On the other, the upside is that there's nothing to be done about a busted rib, other than sit around and wait.

I just can't fall on it and have it puncture my lung or anything. Holy crap, what a story!

[lemon boy]

dude, you totally should've called me and I would have able bodiedly stepped into your travel plans.

-2pts for that
+2 for going though so...

heal up, dumbass.

[Yossarian]

Storm forecast for Sunday night to Tuesday AM right now, so that still gives me 4 days to get to a point where I can at least manage a jolt or two.

Right now, sneezing is the single scariest thing in the world.

[lemon boy]

sad pants dude.

[cj001f]

given the engagement (congrats!) you can't even recruit a "nurse" to help you can you?

story:

waiting in line at border crossing to get vehicle paperwork stamped. See brand new, white, Hummer H2 come flying up the road and come to a gravel spraying stop. Out hopes rich Argentine. Designer boots. Designer jeans. Designer pressed dress shirt.Designer shades. Flawless hair, a tan, perhaps some man-makeup. He walks to the front of the line elbowing everyone out of the way. Hands over paperwork and perhaps cash. Gets stamp. Hops back in H2, guns it gravel going everywehre and heads off.

[klar]

...busted rib...

sorry to hear that

[enlosandes]

Um Root Skier, Mrs ELA and I will be getting private health insurance in the next few days, no more dicking around. Wow, that sounds like a horror movie. Did they show you your appendix when they were done? They did that with our dog's (one boy and our girl) when they were fixed. Our girl was even prego and the vet showed us the little embryo or whatever it was at the time.

[Yossarian]

sorry to hear that

we'll see how busted it is when the snow starts falling at the end of the weekend...

[Big E]

Damn. I have got to get down there one of these seasons, as long as I don't have any appendicitis plans. I'm w/ BeanDip, great thread...

[Spats]

Anyways, two days later I am released. The bill? 155 pesos.

= about $53.

Considering you were inpatient for two days, you'd probably be on the hook for $4000 or more in the States.

[G]

Wow, rootskier wins.

[enlosandes]

So my wife calls my cell phone from the house crying yesterday. She says are you OK, I say yes, she says where are you, I say driving home.

She had just recieved a phone call from a man (actually they where passing the phone between several) saying that her husband had been kidnapped, had a gun to his head by dangerous people, and they needed US$70,000 or they we going to kill me.

Let me back up, on Monday, I recieved a phone call that started with a message I couldn't understand but then says press 3 to accept or 7 to deny the call. I choose 3 and the man on the phone said there was a terrible accident downtown and that we were more or less, next of kin. Again, this is in really fast Spanish and we don't get all of it. We give him our names as we thought at the time he was the police, he said his name was Officer Guerrero. Anyways, we tell him we haven't been out of the house, we don't have family here, and hang up and don't think much about it.

So, yesterday when the guy calls, the same press 3 or 7 begins. My wife chooses 3 and this guy starts telling her to sit down, be calm, and everything will be fine. My wife can't understand what he is saying, so he spells it out (and she tells him to hold while she looks in the dictionary). "Su murido esta secuestrado" (your husband is kidnapped). She figures out what he is saying and says it is impossible because I just left the house. We have learned that except for talking, driving, and putting the bar down on the chairlift, nothing happens that fast in Argentina. They tell her yes, he has been kidnapped and they have a gun to his head. She keeps insisting that there is no way that can be right, they finally get frustrated that the wife isn't freaked out or her Spanish isn't good enough and hang up. That is when she called me.

So, after we debriefed, we decided to call some of our Argentine friends. Apprarently, this has happened a fair amount. One of our friends said the call beginning with 3 and 7 means it is coming from a jail. She also said her friend recieved a call saying they had her brother had been kidnapped and they wanted phone cards and money. Why? So they could call more people?

On a side note, I called the American Embassy in BA saying I was an Amercian citizen and explained what happened. They told me to email and explain, and put urgent under the subject and a security officer would get right back to me. This was about 24 hours ago, and haven't heard from them. Maybe I should have told them my wife recieved a call from al Qaeda and maybe we would have heard from them by now.

A few reflections;
If you ever recieve a call in Spanish asking to choose 3 or 7, choose 7
What does the US Embassy do?

I am painting the picture in my head of a bunch of prisoners sitting in a cell with a phone, passing it around, trying to convince the gringa on the other line to give them US$70,000. Since I haven't been to jail, is this commonplace to be able to dial to the outside world? Apparently it is here.

OK, that is my A factor contribution for today.

[RootSkier]

= about $53.

Considering you were inpatient for two days, you'd probably be on the hook for $4000 or more in the States.

Three nights, Spats. I figure I probably should have billed Blue Cross for the difference.

[Split-It]

Jesus Cristo, this page keeps getting scarier and scarier. Glad to hear all surgeries went well and ELA is not acually kidnapped. Here´s what I read in the Barilochense2000 news this morning:

Cayó telecabina en Catedral
Por Bariloche2000

Una de las 124 góndolas de la telecabina Amancay de Cerro Catedral se desplomó ayer poco después de mediodía, por causas todavía no establecidas. En el módulo viajaban dos personas, un padre y su pequeño hijo, pero no sufrieron lesiones de consideración.

Rough Translation:
Gondola falls in Catedral

One of the 124 gondolas of the Amancay Lift of Cerro Catedral fell yesterday after midday, for causes not yet established. Two people were traveling in the module, a father and his little son, but didn´t suffer considerable injuries.

The article continues, saying that it fell about 20 feet or so and that thanks to the special construction, similar to automobiles, the two individuals didn´t suffer injuries. The cabin fell against mattress of snow and only one of the windows broke. UNfortunately, none of this can be confirmed since the area was closed off. The lift ran the rest of the day.


A couple of weeks ago, one of the Nubes chairs fell off at the top unloading station. Nubes is the newest chair I believe. And Catedral is the most advanced resorts in Argentina.

[BeanDip4All]

Holy crap, ELA!! Glad you are okay... freakin A. this thread has me oscillating btween dying to move to argentina to ... not so much :P

[enlosandes]

Holy crap, ELA!! Glad you are okay... freakin A. this thread has me oscillating btween dying to move to argentina to ... not so much :P

Don't let a few prisoners with time on their hands and phone credit deter you. But I suggest selecting 7 if they call. See you soon!

[covert]

bariloche is devloping quite the reputation for rather catastrophic lift failures. seems LL is has some catching up to do, though they do have a lock on lifts getting wiped out.

anybody have the word on the alleged fire in the pyramide that knocked out the phones and internet? sounds like primo A factor...

[enlosandes]

bariloche is devloping quite the reputation for rather catastrophic lift failures. seems LL is has some catching up to do, though they do have a lock on lifts getting wiped out.

At least risking Marte rides gets you to the best skiing in the world.

[801 jav]

Holy crap, ELA!! Glad you are okay... freakin A. this thread has me oscillating btween dying to move to argentina to ... not so much :P

...some Fear Factor with the lifts in this thread too. the cable guy story made me feel warm and fuzzy.

[enlosandes]

Follow up to last week's kidnapping story. The US Embassy in Buenos Aires called today, a week later, and confirmed it was a hoax. She says it is referred to as "a virtual kidnapping". So there you have it.

[MakersTeleMark]

Maybe you can get some female inmates to do virtual 3somes.