Spatula Review

[glademaster]

See newest post for 2 year update.


First the simple facts. I'm 5'8'' 135 LBS. The skis are mounted with Look Pivot 14 Race Binders. Consider myself to be advanced/expert, depending on the hill. I have only had one day on these, but it was a full day.

Conditions. Powder, generally heavier, from 3 inches to 2 feet deep. Avy debris. Grommers, crud, bumps and ice.

Terrain Skiied In: Lots of trees, chutes, some steeps, nothing very wide open, some bump runs with fresh snow.

Overall, these skis rule. I was at Whistler last week and got only one powder day, which happened to be my last ski day. Winds were ripping and the mountain was totally closed until around 9:30. Rode up to the Solar Coaster chair by about 9:45. Stood in line about 150 people back, patrollers telling us it would be a while and to go ski elsewhere. We wait, by the time the lifts start to turn at about 10 after 11, we grab third chair. We make a beeline for Raptors Ride, a sweet glade on Blackcomb. We get to the top to find that my dad and I will be the very first people down it. The snow phone only said 7 inches new but the snow was about 3 times deeper than that here.

Super sweet, floaty, quick, like to go fast and scrub speed at the same time. These skis are like nothing I have ever skiied, they make powder ski almost as easily as groomers, but let you retain the feeling of being in the powder. They were not too bad on groomers, as long as you don't try to carve. Cat tracks are work, as you have to make a concious effort to keep them running straight. However, in anything soft, they are the best ski I have ever been on. The knowledge that it is almost impossible to hook a tip encourages you to ski trees faster than is really prudent. We skiied freshies that were up to about my ankles, and my dad riding his V-Ex's was in up to about the tops of his knees. It will be a serious disservice to skiers everywhere if this ski is no longer produced. They are surprisingly good in moguls, since you can pivot them very easily through the bumps. As long as whatever you are on is soft, these are your boards. At mountains that recieve frequent new snow, I could see this ski as a 4 or 5 day a week ski, they are more versatile than other reviews made them sound. you can carve with them in powder, but it is more fun to smear. For those who haven't tried them, beg, borrow, steal to either demo or buy a pair. Even though I only have one day on them, I can say that they will become the ski I'm on unless I am skiing only bumps or groomers. More detail will come later after I get some more sleep and can actually think straight.

-Ben

[phUnk]

Good in grommers AND crub? Wow.

[splat]

The Spatula echoplex is blaringly loud.

Wonder which company is gonna try to pick up the ball?

[Game Over]

are they going to be made next year?? should i start looking for a second pair now??

id say his review for the most part was rigth on. i too find them managible on the groomed...but in no way fun, but groomers are rarely fun.

so phunk..my bro just picked up a pair for 299...ever sell yours?? id be willing to make a offer if you will come down from the butt rape range of $600.

[phUnk]

Originally posted by steepconcrete
so phunk..my bro just picked up a pair for 299...ever sell yours?? id be willing to make a offer if you will come down from the butt rape range of $600.

Your butt is safe. I sold em.

[Game Over]

Originally posted by phUnk
Your butt is safe. I sold em.

thank jebus.

[natty dread]

Nice review.

[Arty50]

I'll add to this. I took mine out for a couple of hours on Saturday at the Wood. It was my first time on them. Pure and simple, it was the most fun I've ever had on a pair of skis. Thankfully, someone posted the instructions in another thread and I printed them out and studied them beforehand. Also, watching lph do absolutely ridiculous things on these helps stretch the imagination.

I soon learned to forget nearly everything I know about skiing. Don't ski on your tail. Pffft. Actually, I found that riding your tails allows you to carve like a madman on the groomers. I did however have the misfortune of hitting a tiny bump and getting a touch too forward. My attempt at a left hand turn soon turned into my body rolling left and my skis going right...aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Somehow I didn't fall on my ass. I managed to take them just about everywhere though.

Boilerplate...bad.
Slush...excellent.
Corn...stupendous.
Bumps...amazingly good.

However the highlight of my day was coming down the groomer while doing flatspins. I felt like a world champion ski ballet arteeest.

I can't wait to get these suckers out in some deep pow though. Dear Ullr, I beseetch thee. Bring us snow.

As for a certain unnamed skiier and what we might be seeing next year. A little birdy told me they mounted a pair of skis for said sickbird the other day. Said extremo mountain dude has one of only two pairs on the planet and they're made by a certain "straight" company. Waist dimension: 155 mm.

Edit: Doh! mm not cm

[bad_roo]

Originally posted by Arty50
Said extremo mountain dude has one of only two pairs on the planet and they're made by a certain "straight" company. Waist dimension: 155 cm.

Either you mean 155mm or said EMD's steeze is madder than I ever thought possible.

[Arty50]

Originally posted by bad_roo
Either you mean 155mm or said EMD's steeze is madder than I ever thought possible.

Ooops. Yup, 155mm. I wonder if he'll call them "the Griddle."

[rightcoast]

so McConkey is on line?

[Arty50]

Nothing official. lph and I were talking about the whole spatula situation a couple of weeks ago, and we came to the conclusion that they'll probably be a lot of bidders out there since word is he's shopping for a new sponsor. So either they're courting him, or he just wanted to play with some new toys. Remember those two red snowboards he rode in Focused I think?

[778skier]

psst... mono-board wide enough to stand with feet shoulder width apart, called The Chariot. It's the future, you heard it here first.

[Arty50]

Originally posted by 778skier
psst... mono-board wide enough to stand with feet shoulder width apart, called The Chariot. It's the future, you heard it here first.

In the spirit of the guy who strapped a Volkl Monocarver to each foot...I'll take two please.

[Plakespear]

Originally posted by Arty50
word is he's shopping for a new sponsor.

Please let it be Volkl, Salomon, or Rossi. I'd like to be able to get spatulas on shopform.

[Game Over]

i was thinking about this same subject....who owns tha patent??

i don't have my spatulas here, but i rember em having a patent# printed on em. someone chime it with it...i could look it up.

this time around, since maybe he is shopping.... i hope he takes all of the metal out (i am so expecting to bend mine(but would it matter?)), make it a solid wood core w/vertical p-tex sidewall... shit, he should sign with iggie and let adam build him some spatulas. that would be bliss.

yea, sign with igggie shane, fuck the "money"..tell em all to go to hell.

[Idris]

I was lucky enough to get to play with Funkendrenchman's spatulas here in Cham...probably the only pair in the valley, very first impression on resonably steep hard piste, a Snowlerblade with a tea tray in the middle.....as sson as I hit anything soft, it was totaly different, Pocket rocket ease of skiing with the stability of a my explosives...mach stupid through avie debris and fresh snow, without having to initiate turns...but kinda sketch on the traverses.....do I want a pair? yes if I end up living where there is lots of soft snow, but otherwhise I think I'll stick with the far more versatile explosives.

[Arty50]

Day 2 Report (Speeeeed and near death):

Took them out today at Kirkwood with 7-10 of fresh. Well it wasn't that fresh since everything was really slidy and you ended up punching through to the sheet of ice underneath. Ice=death on Spatulas.

I took a few runs putzing around and was starting to get the feel for these babies. It all finally clicked on one run down Vista. I bombed the sheeeet out of the whole thing and it felt completely effortless. I was amazed. So I went back up and hit the backside of Vista on a hunch. Turned out to be the best snow on the mountain since it was the only place without ice underneath. I nearly straightlined (more long one long arc) the entire hill and then made two turns near the bottom just to slow down for the approaching treeline. When I jumped on chair 4 to head back up, I couldn't believe the track I had just laid. Sometimes when you're hauling ass you realize for a second just how fast you're going and get freaked. But when you have that same moment on the spatulas, you realize that you're perfectly stable and can go even faster. Bottom line, these things have no speed limit in pow and are super stable.

After that run I had so much confidence built up, I decided to give bump skipping a try. Things were going really well, until I hit a big bump that was rock solid. Somersault time. Well, I wasn't fazed. We headed back to Vista again, this time skiing the lower part that sorta faces back towards the saddle. I decided to open them up again...and then I hit a small patch of ice. Whoaaaaa!!!!! I slid out and ended up stopping right on a rocky perch. I wasn't exactly sure if I had hit the rocks yet, but when I got up gimpy and kellie were looking at me like I was a ghost. Luckily I had avoided a couple of shark's teeth and stopped right before heading over a whole lot more of them which led to a 5-10 footer. Phew. Now, normally I'd be scared shitless. But today I just chalked it up to learning how to ski these babies. Note to self, when conditions are variable (pow & ice) slow down a bit.

So far, I love these skis. A couple more days of practice and I should have them dialed in. For days like this though, I'm keeping my Gotamas. Same goes for spring. Sidecut is good when you hit hard patches.

[Arty50]

Spatula Gape Session Day 3:

My buddy from San Jo calls me up and says, "Hey we're coming to Sierra on Saturday. I've got a newbie snowboarder in tow, so I don't know how much we'll get to ski together." "No Problem," says I, "I'll just bring my Spatulas. I still have to get used to them."

Well after having a super lazy morning, I got up to the hill just before noon and started putzing around. My goal for the day was to work on sliding. After a couple hours, I was ready to rip the skis off my feet and toss them in the garbage. I guess it was akin to a baseball player's second year or a childs's terrible twos. I seem to remember lph complaining about them on his 2nd or 3rd day too. So I did what any rational person would do at this point: go to the bar, order a giant club sandwich, and drink a beer.

The latter must have done the trick since my afternoon was much better. I finally got the hang of sliding my turns. In pow it's really easy, but on groomers and in mank it's really hard to get down. [Spatula PSIA]All morning I had been angulating my skis too much and merely trying to throw these beasts sideways to generate a slide.[/Spatula PSIA] Survey says? XX. I was trying to power slide everything and that wasn't gonna happen yet. At some point I found out that you actually want to keep the skis fairly flat and sorta pivot them away from the fall line. So if you turn them to say 11 o'clock (12 is the fall line) then you slide forward. As you turn them more towards 9, you start heading more to the left. Duh! I felt stupid. I was overdoing everything in the morning. So with renewed confidence I took them back into the trees. Sweeeeet! Things were going much better now. I skied a killer line in Avy Bowl, doing things not possible on other skis. The pow was still decent up there though. The only problem I still had was in really set up pow. The kind that keeps your skis on track and it hard to blow through. The Spatulas had no problem eating it up (better than most skis I've been on for that matter), but initiating a turn or a slide was hard. The snow really wanted to keep my on a straight path. I didn't think that bombing straight into a tree was exactly a great idea though. So I got outta there.

All in all a great day. I learned a lot about these skis; and given a couple more days, I should have them dialed in most of the way.

[train07]

Originally posted by steepconcrete
i was thinking about this same subject....who owns tha patent??

i don't have my spatulas here, but i rember em having a patent# printed on em. someone chime it with it...i could look it up.

Volant owns the patent.....so he would have to make some change to the design, no? or how does that work, another co. has to buy the patent?

[train07]

Originally posted by Arty50
Spatula Gape Session Day 3:

go to the bar, and drink a beer

always works for me

[Arty50]

Originally posted by train07
Volant owns the patent.....so he would have to make some change to the design, no? or how does that work, another co. has to buy the patent?

Actually, the patent is pending and McConkey and friends filed it, not Volant.

[train07]

Originally posted by Arty50
Actually, the patent is pending and McConkey and friends filed it, not Volant.

nice work Artemis of the big brow...and seriously the lunch beer does wonders for the afternoon skiathon

[Arty50]

Originally posted by train07
nice work Artemis of the big brow...

and seriously the lunch beer does wonders for the afternoon skiathon

Tell me about it. It was like that beer awakened me from a deep slumber.

[bossass]

I just talked to my Volant homie and he said they are looking to put out the Spatula in various sizes not this next year but for 2006. He also had some pairs to sell me at bro deal and I saw a ton for $388 on ebay. I don't think the time to hoard is just yet.


[I feel old saying 2006]