Ever eat any bugs? Dammit...

**Bodhi** · 05-15-2007, 06:48 PM

Ant season is here right now in SoCal...little mystery ants have been all over my desk sporatically over the past few days, one here one there, I think they are scouts.

I almost always have a can of Coke opened on my desk as I am working on the computer or teaching a class...today was no different as got a cold one out on my little personal fridge behind my desk and took a drink, then set it down in its usual spot on my desk, went on with teaching class and walking around the room...must have left my drink too long...

Little fucking bastards found my Coke in mass, I mean in M-A-S-S-I-V-E amounts, but I did not notice...yet...

So, I am teaching and take a big swig like I usually do, and I have the fucktards all over me, on my face, down my throat. Students got one hell of a laugh when we all realized I just chugged about 500 ants...

Thank god the bell rang 30 seconds later and allowed me to compose myself...kids will be talking about this one for a while...

Still feels like ants are crawling in my throat right now, and crawling all over me, itching everywhere right now...

Not a good moment in my life right now. Fucking ants will die, and I dabble in pacifism most of the time, not now, fucking RAIDing the shit out of all the little shits that are still left on my desk and all over this keyboard as I type...

Jesus Christ they are evrywhere right now.

**warthog** · 05-15-2007, 09:42 PM

Sound like sugar ants. My first apt here in FL had them bad. Usually a sign of a dirty house, ie. lots of food left out. In my case, the previous tenant. One little crumb, and they were on it. There is some stuff you can buy. You just dab a bit on a piece of cardboard, then you follow the line of ants to the spot they are coming in. They'll lead you right to it. Put the cardboard down at that spot, and watch 'em go to town. They'll never be seen again. They bring the poison back to their lair, and they all chow down until they die. Raid will only kill the ones you see. Have fun. You will be amazed how many of those fuckers will come running for the poison. It must taste really good, at first.

**backpack** · 05-15-2007, 10:00 PM

Meh, probably had more nutritional value than the coke.

**MarsB** · 05-15-2007, 10:10 PM

My dad did the same thing, except substitute yellowjackets for the ants. And the Coke was a Schlitz. oh, and he was building a deck, not teaching a class.

I was eleven. I laughed.

**Blatant** · 05-15-2007, 11:10 PM

funny if nothing else.

**leroy jenkins** · 05-15-2007, 11:44 PM

Well that sucks...

But far more important, is your new avatar. I give it twelve stars.

**hutash** · 05-16-2007, 09:50 AM

It is important to entertain as well as educate the masses...go one.

They are Argentine ants, nasty, swarming little bastards. They are an introduced species, and therefore have no natural predators here, and have taken over socal.

**snowsprite** · 05-16-2007, 10:14 AM

Ick! Man, I would have done some freaky, screaming dance if that happened to me.

Worst thing that ever happened to me bug-related was going to lower the blinds and getting stung by a yellowjacket on the palm. He was apparently hanging out on the cord and I didn't notice.

Anyway, I stomped the little bastard to death. And my hand hurt for days...

Sprite-Hates-Bugs

**Lonnie** · 05-16-2007, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by snowsprite

Ick! Man, I would have done some freaky, screaming dance if that happened to me.

Worst thing that ever happened to me bug-related was going to lower the blinds and getting stung by a yellowjacket on the palm. He was apparently hanging out on the cord and I didn't notice.

Anyway, I stomped the little bastard to death. And my hand hurt for days...

Sprite-Hates-Bugs

Better than swigging one that had flown into your coke!!! (I've seen that happen...)

L

**AsheanMT** · 05-16-2007, 10:19 AM

get that crazy ant spray shit they sell at hardware stores and spray around the entire room at the corner where the floor meets the wall. I had to do this at least twice a year when I owned a restaurant. It works wonders....they will never be able to get in the room.

**TeleHoar** · 05-16-2007, 10:31 AM

I know that feeling exactly Bodhi.

My first few weeks in S. Lake Tahoe ever, I left a box of granola out on the floor by the TV.
Next day I am eating handfulls of the cereal dry, watching the TV.
I am thinking to myself..."boy, I don't remember this granola being so spicey..." I look in the box...swarming with those little tiny red ants.

blehhhhh

**DJSapp** · 05-16-2007, 11:00 AM

Here's how to trick those little bastards:

Take a box of the Grants Kills Ants stake traps and pop them open. Mix the carmel like poision with maple syrup in a 1:1 ratio. Then place your mixture in bottle caps around the area that the scouts are in. Let them swarm for a couple days, they will all die.

I remember when I was 9 and woke up in the middle of the night itching like hell. I saw little red marks all over my body and thought I got the chickenpox, but my bed was covered in little red ants. I HATE those fuckers.

**Stone-Free** · 05-16-2007, 11:08 AM

I share Sprites hatred of bugs.

I was stung twice on my cheek by a hornet in a motocross race. The prickbastage flew up my facemask and said hello. I then proceeded to cartwheel over a haybale and bend my bars.

**pechelman** · 05-16-2007, 11:21 AM

what warthog said

you need do get some hardcore gel bait you put around their entrance points as seen here
http://www.doyourownpestcontrol.com/maxforceantgel.htm
Im not sure if this is the same one we used when we had trouble in Atlanta, but the gel stuff we used basically ended the problem overnight.

sugar ants were everywhere in the kitchen no matter how much or how clean we kept it. then they all died.

edit
the fact that the active ingredient, Fipronil, is only .001% of that gel makes me think its the right stuff. Its gotta be SUPER deadly for it to work in concentrations that low

**Cliff Huckable** · 05-16-2007, 11:27 AM

Ugh, that sucks.

Had a similar thing happen:

I'm in Morocco, waiting on the street for this guy. It's taking a long time and I'm getting hungry, so I buy a bunch of peanuts from this dude with a cart.

I stand in the 122F sun munching these peanuts for a few minutes, then suddenly realize they are FULL of small translucent white worms. They were squirming and wriggling everywhere. No idea how I missed them for so long.

Disgusting, but what are you going to do?

**Crass3000** · 05-16-2007, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by Stone-Free

I share Sprites hatred of bugs.

I was stung twice on my cheek by a hornet in a motocross race. The prickbastage flew up my facemask and said hello. I then proceeded to cartwheel over a haybale and bend my bars.

You have to love trapped hornets. I had them fly up my shorts before. Not as exciting as the motocross story but still ended up with a swollen leg.

**Bodhi** · 05-16-2007, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by snowsprite

Ick! Man, I would have done some freaky, screaming dance if that happened to me./QUOTE]Picture perfect, did it. Added to the kids laughing I guess...it was one of the talks around campus today (I am at school, but not at school), thankfully I have not been in class do to an all day staff-development workshop I was pulled to attend...

In my class now and my nuking of RAID last night seemed to have killed them all off and redirected the new ones...

peace,
D.

**Lonnie** · 05-16-2007, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by DJSapp

I remember when I was 9 and woke up in the middle of the night itching like hell. I saw little red marks all over my body and thought I got the chickenpox, but my bed was covered in little red ants.
I HATE those fuckers.

When I was a freshmen in college, I had the same deal but with roaches! Yeah, that was fun!! It was a military school, and my room was on the ground floor of a very old barracks (w/dirt below the sub floor. Perfect roach breding grounds). The next day, I went out a got a couple of bug bomds. (Being a big Henry Rollins fan, I'll let you guys take a guess at what brand I chose!!) Set 'em off and nuked the fackers. There were fried roaches crawling out to their death 4 and 5 rooms down for days. Upperclassmen were walking around saying "What's up with all the dead roaches?" We just laughed. Hell yeah....

**asandygal** · 05-16-2007, 06:23 PM

Never ate one, but I had one attack my eye-lashes once (another "teacher" moment)...

When I was teaching at the high school with cows grazing and giving birth outside my window (Bodhi, you know what I'm talking about)... I was sharing my insights on some of the raunchy puns and jokes in Romeo and Juliet. Amongst all the students "slapping" their desks to try to rid our class of the fly infestation that had set in (obviously a colony on the back of one of the heifers must have recently hatched)... I had one who took a liking to my glittery eyeliner...

Little shit wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to ignore him at first... but there are only so many subtle swipes at the face that I person can endure when they are the center of attention in a classful of freshmen.

I finally flew off into a full-flown fit against that bitch!!! Needless to say my students all thought my "dance" was a hilarious moment... and (six years later) I still get students who e-mail me and tell me how they remember that lesson.

(I think they thought my curses were Shakespearean...)

Very funny story, D! Take heart... It's almost June!!!

(BTW... are you still heading to Mammoth this weekend????)

**Bodhi** · 05-17-2007, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by asandygal

BTW... are you still heading to Mammoth this weekend????

Money issues, might not be...they cut some funding here at my school and my extra class got cut and my extra money along with it. Got a spot in your truck for the Dude and I?