Thank god for some common sense in Baseball, finally:

[Cornholio]

MILWAUKEE—In what Major League Baseball officials are calling a "long overdue correction of a gross oversight," Commissioner Bud Selig announced Tuesday the discovery that Hall of Famer Hank Aaron had in fact accumulated 50 previously unaccounted-for home runs during his illustrious 22-year baseball career, bringing his once record total of 755 to an even higher 805 and putting the all-time home-run record perhaps forever out of reach.

"Hank Aaron is a hero, an excellent man, and a great ambassador for the game of baseball," Selig said during a press conference to announce the findings. "We're proud to have finally set things right, hopefully once and for all. And I have to tell you, some of the home runs that we discovered were just monster shots. One was hit off of [Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher] Harvey Haddix that went 576 feet, and Hank wasn't even that big of a guy. Just naturally strong and gifted, I guess."

Haddix was unavailable for comment, as he passed away in 1994.

According to Selig, a committee of sports journalists and baseball historians was set up during the off-season to investigate, with Selig's oversight, whether there was any substance to a rumor that began circulating last summer concerning Aaron having hit more homeruns than those credited to him in the record books. Though Selig said he couldn't recall the date the committee was established, he believes it was in or around the time he approved the San Francisco Giants' highly publicized signing of Barry Zito.

The committee's 30-page report points out several key factors that combined to increase Aaron's home run total. For example, in 1958, home runs hit during both the first week of spring training and those hit in pre-game batting practice during away games in the third week of August were added to a player's career numbers. In addition, home runs hit during the 1971 All-Star Game should have been tallied.

Aaron, coincidentally, did hit a home run in that game.

"We are here today to the right the wrongs," Selig said. "This is America's national pastime, and its players, fans, and all citizens deserve to have a record book in which they can take great pride. So if we didn't count Hank Aarons five-homer outing during 1964's famous 'Empty Stadium' game, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

Furthermore, the report continued, a third of the home runs hit by players who participated in the television series Home Run Derby, a show on which Aaron appeared several times, should have been counted. In addition, during the second half of the 1962 season, balls that bounced over the outfield fence should have been counted as home runs, and foul balls that were hit behind the batter but cleared the netting intended to protect fans seated behind home plate were also home runs. That being the case, league scorekeepers now say Aaron had his best year in 1962, hitting 65 home runs—20 more than originally thought.

Though there has been some negative reaction towards the announcement of Aaron's new record, mostly from fans in northern California, the news has been received very well nationwide.

"This is the best thing that has happened to baseball in years," said New York resident Tom Plaitano, 63. "I remember watching Hank Aaron as a kid, and even though I don't recall a time when all home runs hit off Sandy Koufax counted for two, I don't really care. This decision just makes sense to me."

"The number 805 will go down as the most prestigious number in sports," said Selig, adding that there is a strong possibility still more of Aaron's home runs could come to the surface during this season, and maybe even the next several seasons to come. "It's not out of the question that Hank could have, say, 900 home runs by the time our investigation is all said and done."

"Either way, the all-time home-run record couldn't be held by a more dignified and honorable man," Selig added.

The committee's report has caused quite a shakeup to the list of baseball's all-time home-run leaders. Aaron, while keeping his record, is not even the biggest benefactor of the findings; as of now Aaron is first with 805, Willie Mays has jumped to second with 800, Frank Robinson is third with 798, Harmon Killebrew is fourth with 797, and Reggie Jackson, Mickey Mantle, Ernie Banks, Ted Williams, and Willie McCovey are tied for fifth at 796.

According to Selig, early results of another investigation may net Babe Ruth as many as 74 additional home runs, Mike Schmidt an estimated 124, and Ken Griffey Jr. a possible 200, while players such as Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro, and Barry Bonds will probably be knocked even further down the list.




(obviously, from the onion)

[The AD]

bringing his once record total of 755 to an even higher 805 and putting the all-time home-run record perhaps forever out of reach.

Probably still wouldn't be enough to keep A-Rod from breaking it.

[Free Range Lobster]

Probably still wouldn't be enough to keep A-Rod from breaking it.

478 at 13 years in the leagues?
Riiiiight.

Good luck with that.

1994 0
1995 5
1996 36
1997 23
1998 42
1999 42
2000 41
2001 52
2002 57
2003 47
2004 36
2005 48
2006 35
2007 14
Totals 478

Lemme know when he goes back on the roids.

7 more years of 45 home runs a year won't happen.

[Wibby]

uhhh huh... sure.

"Furthermore, the report continued, a third of the home runs hit by players who participated in the television series Home Run Derby, a show on which Aaron appeared several times, should have been counted. In addition, during the second half of the 1962 season, balls that bounced over the outfield fence should have been counted as home runs, and foul balls that were hit behind the batter but cleared the netting intended to protect fans seated behind home plate were also home runs. That being the case, league scorekeepers now say Aaron had his best year in 1962, hitting 65 home runs—20 more than originally thought."

[Brock Landers]

Didnt Harvey Haddix pitch waaaay back in the early part of the century? Pitched against Ed Walsh of the CWS- dual 13 inning no hitters.

Oh and I do think A Rod will break 800. Hes only 31 right, starting his career when he was only 18. Play till 42ish, say 12 more years playing at 30 a year gets him well over 800. 30 is fairly conservative too considering he will have 30 this year by summer. And I dont think hes done roids...hes been the same size, relatively, since 1998, when he turned 22. Before that he was still a young skinny kid.

[sassa]

brilliant! scary though that i wudnt be surprised to see some similar announcement in the real word...

[iceman]

478 at 13 years in the leagues?
Riiiiight.

Good luck with that.

1994 0
1995 5
1996 36
1997 23
1998 42
1999 42
2000 41
2001 52
2002 57
2003 47
2004 36
2005 48
2006 35
2007 14
Totals 478

Lemme know when he goes back on the roids.

7 more years of 45 home runs a year won't happen.

Not a huge fan but I could easily see him finishing with 800. He's only 31. He might hit 75 this year. Shit, he's on pace to hit 130 or so this year, maybe I'm selling him short at 75.

[cramer]

7 more years of 45 home runs a year won't happen.

no but 10 years of 30-35 homeruns isnt far fetched. considering he's prolly gonna hit 50+ this year. if Arod doesnt breakdown like griffey did, he'll break the record. I have no doubt. But after watching barry, he's what, 43 years old? if he's playing this well at 43, whose to say he doesnt play another 2-3 years. The guy just flat out hasnt lost his bat speed. And obviously the power is still there. If barry hits another 30-40 homers the next 3 years, then you might be right. That record will be out of reach. My money says barry plays until he hits the 800 plateau.

[road trip]

Darn. I was really hoping that was true as it would be a big F U to Bonds.

(note: I very quickly realized it wasn't... but when I clicked, the hope was there)

[Cornholio]

Satire doesn't go over as well as it used to, does it?

[habituallybored]

no but 10 years of 30-35 homeruns isnt far fetched.

I agree....and you have to figure there will be at least 3 or 4 years of 50 HRs sprinkled through that 10 years.

I'm not a huge A-Rod fan, but the guy can hit.

[The AD]

Satire doesn't go over as well as it used to, does it?

I think we all realize the article was satire, but just sayin' about A Rod...

By the way, Hank had a total of 398 homers after the 1965 season when he was 31. Alex has 478 already and he doesn't turn 32 until July.

[Odin]

Satire doesn't go over as well as it used to, does it?

Still better than Sartre.... that guy gets NO play.

[WWCD]

I think we all realize the article was satire, but just sayin' about A Rod...

By the way, Hank had a total of 398 homers after the 1965 season when he was 31. Alex has 478 already and he doesn't turn 32 until July.

Well now I'm convinced. It is obviously out of reach.

[phUnk]

Still better than Sartre.... that guy gets NO play.

Thanks for that.

[pechelman]

home runs are stupid
its all about bunting
Dickey Pearce is the man

[SummerSux]

no but 10 years of 30-35 homeruns isnt far fetched. considering he's prolly gonna hit 50+ this year. if Arod doesnt breakdown like griffey did, he'll break the record. I have no doubt. But after watching barry, he's what, 43 years old? if he's playing this well at 43, whose to say he doesnt play another 2-3 years. The guy just flat out hasnt lost his bat speed. And obviously the power is still there. If barry hits another 30-40 homers the next 3 years, then you might be right. That record will be out of reach. My money says barry plays until he hits the 800 plateau.

Only that happens is he goes to the AL nest year, he looks like the tin man in LF these days, and those bad knees are gonna flare up sooner or later

[tenB]

My money is on A-Rod. I remember watching Bonds during his rookie season in Pittsburgh, and he was at least a couple of cheeseburgers away from being 170 lbs. Then I saw him play last year, and his head was gigantic, like double the size. I'm looking forward to the cold shoulder he gets from MLB when he gets close to the record.

[Dexter Rutecki]

Not a huge fan but I could easily see him finishing with 800. He's only 31. He might hit 75 this year. Shit, he's on pace to hit 130 or so this year, maybe I'm selling him short at 75.

But don't forget that Mr. April goes comatose every September/October, so he's really on pace to hit about 50 this year--if he keeps it up (which he won't).

[The AD]

He won't keep it up, but his chances of hitting 50 this year are good.

After last year's torrid performance I would have thought Ryan Howard had a shot, but I just checked and he's 27, so he's got a lot of catching up to do. He hasn't done much this year, either.