The Caddyshack quote thread...

[MapleSyrup]

Let's hear 'em. The more obscure the better. I'll start...

"I feel like a hundred dollars."

[MapleSyrup]

It's easy to grin
when your ship comes in
and you've got the stock market beat.

But the man worthwhile
is the man who can smile
when his pants are too tight in the seat.

[mitch buchannon]

You two look like a couple of boobies.

[Arty50]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[Core Shot]

"You musta been something before electricity"

"You wanna make $14 the hard way?"

"[cough cough] what kind of shit is this?
Its the best, man - I got it from a Negro - you're probably so high already you don't even know it"

[MapleSyrup]

Carl Spackler: "License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."

[MapleSyrup]

"What are you doing on Saturday, Danny?"
"Nothing, sir."
"Great! How would you like to mow my lawn?"

[The AD]

That's a peach, hon.

[MapleSyrup]

Honey, would you loofah my stretchmarks?

[booner]

"My father...my father never liked you"

"With my lips?"

[MapleSyrup]

"This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it..."

[milton]

You take drugs Danny?

Everyday.

Good! So what's the problem?

[Nobody Famous]

Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield), to Wang, the oriental guy who's taking pictures of everything: "I think this place is restricted Wang, so don't tell 'em your Jewish, okay?" Link

Ted Knight: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Chevy Chase: Don't sell yourself short, judge. You're a tremendous slouch.

Judge Smails: Oh, Porterhouse! Look at the wax build-up on those shoes! This is fine leather! I want that wax stripped off! I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them now! Chop chop!
You then see Porterhouse mumbling something, holding the shoes are under a spinning shop grinder with smoke coming off them, and pieces flying everywhere.

[SkiEvil]

"I was born, to lick your face."

[fondigley]

This place got a pool?


Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.

[criscam]

This place got a pool?


Pool and a pond... Pond be good for you.

my favorite!

[dn4989]

Be the ball Danny.

[Flexon Phil]

Judge Smails:How do you measure yourself against other golfers?

Ty: By height

[dn4989]

Hey you scratched my anchor!

[MapleSyrup]

"I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them."

[Stone-Free]

Maggie: Yeah? Well tanks fer nuttin Noonan!

[Stone-Free]

"$50 bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose"

[uppernotmaster]

"I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!"

[Flexon Phil]

Pick that wrapper up...

[Stone-Free]

"People dont say that about you Carl, as far as you know."