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03-10-2004, 08:13 AM #1
The official St. Patty's Day limerick thread
I have a couple rough drafts of Maggot-Limericks, need a creative burst to finish one tho(I didn't realize MAX rhythmed with so many things) - anyone good at this? (Feel free to use "Nantucket" in it if you like ) Limerick Definition and Techniques
Last edited by DaveTV; 03-10-2004 at 08:24 AM.
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03-10-2004, 12:14 PM #2
There once was a Maggot named Max;
Who tired of Minions attacks;
"The next fucking turd
Who disses my word
Will feel the head of me axe"
(I know, I know, but it's a start..)
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03-10-2004, 12:20 PM #3
Thought they already did an Irish balad for us...
As I was goin' over the Cork and Kerry mountains
I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was countin'
I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier
I said stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya
I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny
I took all of his money yeah I brought it home to Molly
She swore that she'd love me, never would she leave me
But the devil take that woman for you know she treat me easy
Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
Whack for my daddy-o
Whack for my daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar-o
Being drunk and weary I went to Molly's chamber
Takin' my money with me and I never knew the danger
For about six or maybe seven in walked Captain Farrell
I jumped up, fired off my pistols and I shot him with both barrels
Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
Whack for my daddy-o
Whack for my daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar-o
Now some men like the fishin' and some men like the fowlin'
And some men like ta hear, ta hear cannon ball a roarin'
Me I like sleepin' specially in my Molly's chamber
But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain yeah
Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
Whack for my daddy-o
Whack for my daddy-o
There's whiskey in the jar-o
Whiskey in the jar-o
Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
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03-10-2004, 12:33 PM #4
There once was a guy from New York (me!),
Who missed his favorite sport (ski!).
So he went to his superior (whore!),
Faced her posterior (size of a door!),
And shoved in it a spaceman named mort (whee!)...And the greatest ice must crumble when it's flower's time to grow.
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03-10-2004, 04:32 PM #5
Brett has typed pages of text
Against the lifestyle homosex
Yet's it's quite crystal clear
That he's secretly queer
And has a big hard-on for Dex
A boy from Jersey known as Pinner
Has been known to have just beer for dinner
Mixed with meatdrink9
when he's been drinking wine
They become Denver's two biggest sinners
A young man called AK-Pow-monk
(Who's real, not alias of phUnk)
Tried to put his dick
in the Norwegian chick
But forgot that he looks just like Chunk"There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)
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03-10-2004, 06:30 PM #6
There once was a guy from Salt Lake
Whose schlong was as big as a snake
One day at the hill
He showed it to Jill
And her hair stood on end like Glen Plake
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03-10-2004, 06:47 PM #7
There once was a man from muckmeintheass...
Damn, can't think of anything else.
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03-11-2004, 06:59 AM #8
There once was a Mag "MsB"
Wore a FartBag in Chamonix
She posted the shot
And all of us thought
The Michelin Man's learned to ski!
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03-11-2004, 10:13 AM #9
I'm NOT FAT!!!
Just kidding I am um limric
THere once was a guy named bakerboy
Who had a favorite sex toy
His name was Zach D
WHo told G.G.
To get on his knees and act coyLast edited by ak_powder_monkey; 03-11-2004 at 10:15 AM.
Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care
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03-11-2004, 05:11 PM #10
A young daredevil who had all the toys
counted railsliding among his great joys
he fell off the rail,
was then heard to wail
"I believe I have damaged my boys!"Damn, we're in a tight spot!
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03-16-2004, 07:11 PM #11
All those brilliant minds, no "summit" limerick?
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03-16-2004, 08:58 PM #12
1080rider,
These words to that song are so much better. I heard this version done by the Grateful Dead. Metallica's version is good but I like this better.
As I was walking, over cork and kerry mountains...
I met colnel Pepper, and his money he was counting...
I fired off my pistol and I ran up my saber,
I said stand and deliver for I am a bull deciever...
refrain
Them shiny golden coins, sure looked bright and jolly...
I took the money home and I gave it to my Molly...
She promised and she vowed that she never would decieve me...
But the devils in the women, and they never can be easy...
refrain...
I was awakened 'tween the hours of six and seven...
I couldnt grab my pistols so I ran up the saber...
I finished off the colnel and now Im in prison...
refrain
They put me in jail, without a judge or jurry...
For killen Colnel pepper, so early in the morning...
They didn't take my fists so I knocked down the sentry...
I bid a long farewell to that cold penatentiary..
refrain
Some take delight, in fishin and fowlen...
Others take delight in the carraige a' roamin...
I take delight in the Juice of the barkeep...
and courting pretty women in the morning so early...
refrain
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