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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,512

    The official St. Patty's Day limerick thread

    I have a couple rough drafts of Maggot-Limericks, need a creative burst to finish one tho(I didn't realize MAX rhythmed with so many things) - anyone good at this? (Feel free to use "Nantucket" in it if you like ) Limerick Definition and Techniques
    Last edited by DaveTV; 03-10-2004 at 08:24 AM.







  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,512
    There once was a Maggot named Max;
    Who tired of Minions attacks;
    "The next fucking turd
    Who disses my word
    Will feel the head of me axe"


    (I know, I know, but it's a start..)







  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    River City
    Posts
    2,407
    Thought they already did an Irish balad for us...

    As I was goin' over the Cork and Kerry mountains
    I saw Captain Farrell and his money he was countin'
    I first produced my pistol and then produced my rapier
    I said stand and deliver or the devil he may take ya

    I took all of his money and it was a pretty penny
    I took all of his money yeah I brought it home to Molly
    She swore that she'd love me, never would she leave me
    But the devil take that woman for you know she treat me easy

    Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
    Whack for my daddy-o
    Whack for my daddy-o
    There's whiskey in the jar-o

    Being drunk and weary I went to Molly's chamber
    Takin' my money with me and I never knew the danger
    For about six or maybe seven in walked Captain Farrell
    I jumped up, fired off my pistols and I shot him with both barrels

    Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
    Whack for my daddy-o
    Whack for my daddy-o
    There's whiskey in the jar-o

    Now some men like the fishin' and some men like the fowlin'
    And some men like ta hear, ta hear cannon ball a roarin'
    Me I like sleepin' specially in my Molly's chamber
    But here I am in prison, here I am with a ball and chain yeah

    Musha ring dum a doo dum a da
    Whack for my daddy-o
    Whack for my daddy-o
    There's whiskey in the jar-o

    Whiskey in the jar-o
    Musha ring dum a doo dum a da

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    2,004
    There once was a guy from New York (me!),
    Who missed his favorite sport (ski!).
    So he went to his superior (whore!),
    Faced her posterior (size of a door!),
    And shoved in it a spaceman named mort (whee!)
    ...And the greatest ice must crumble when it's flower's time to grow.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    In the moment
    Posts
    4,029
    Brett has typed pages of text
    Against the lifestyle homosex
    Yet's it's quite crystal clear
    That he's secretly queer
    And has a big hard-on for Dex

    A boy from Jersey known as Pinner
    Has been known to have just beer for dinner
    Mixed with meatdrink9
    when he's been drinking wine
    They become Denver's two biggest sinners

    A young man called AK-Pow-monk
    (Who's real, not alias of phUnk)
    Tried to put his dick
    in the Norwegian chick
    But forgot that he looks just like Chunk
    "There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
    Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,512
    There once was a guy from Salt Lake
    Whose schlong was as big as a snake
    One day at the hill
    He showed it to Jill
    And her hair stood on end like Glen Plake








  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Hood River
    Posts
    551
    There once was a man from muckmeintheass...

    Damn, can't think of anything else.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,512
    There once was a Mag "MsB"
    Wore a FartBag in Chamonix
    She posted the shot
    And all of us thought
    The Michelin Man's learned to ski!







  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Eagle River Alaska
    Posts
    10,892
    I'm NOT FAT!!!





    Just kidding I am um limric

    THere once was a guy named bakerboy
    Who had a favorite sex toy
    His name was Zach D
    WHo told G.G.
    To get on his knees and act coy
    Last edited by ak_powder_monkey; 03-11-2004 at 10:15 AM.
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    driving past the Stop and Shop
    Posts
    2,862
    A young daredevil who had all the toys
    counted railsliding among his great joys
    he fell off the rail,
    was then heard to wail
    "I believe I have damaged my boys!"
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,512
    All those brilliant minds, no "summit" limerick?







  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Nowhere
    Posts
    4,964
    1080rider,

    These words to that song are so much better. I heard this version done by the Grateful Dead. Metallica's version is good but I like this better.

    As I was walking, over cork and kerry mountains...
    I met colnel Pepper, and his money he was counting...
    I fired off my pistol and I ran up my saber,
    I said stand and deliver for I am a bull deciever...

    refrain

    Them shiny golden coins, sure looked bright and jolly...
    I took the money home and I gave it to my Molly...
    She promised and she vowed that she never would decieve me...
    But the devils in the women, and they never can be easy...

    refrain...

    I was awakened 'tween the hours of six and seven...
    I couldnt grab my pistols so I ran up the saber...
    I finished off the colnel and now Im in prison...

    refrain

    They put me in jail, without a judge or jurry...
    For killen Colnel pepper, so early in the morning...
    They didn't take my fists so I knocked down the sentry...
    I bid a long farewell to that cold penatentiary..

    refrain

    Some take delight, in fishin and fowlen...
    Others take delight in the carraige a' roamin...
    I take delight in the Juice of the barkeep...
    and courting pretty women in the morning so early...

    refrain

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