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  1. #101
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    Oct 2003
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    4,126
    I am in AWE!!!

    It has been too long since TGR made me laugh out loud.


  2. #102
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by lph View Post
    I am in AWE!!!

    It has been too long since TGR made me laugh out loud.

    Then you haven't been following the 'things we did as kids' thread in the fluffy room.

    Come to think of it, haven't seen doctorwhat's post in that thread, which would likely launch it onto new levels....
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  3. #103
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Stupp^^^

    This thread needs more attention.

  4. #104
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    in a van down by the river
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    2,769
    Brilliant absolutely brilliant!

    Truly a legend.

  5. #105
    dankhucker Guest
    old man pimpin the steeze...

  6. #106
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Not too sure
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    First, in the spirit of the recent Easter holiday, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank dankhucker, Moose Pit, Tippster, and Tye 1on for "resurrecting" this string or rope.

    Second I must apologize for my absence during the past few weeks. The loss of Ernest hit me harder than I thought it would both personally and financially. Sure.....I cried for days over his passing, wondering, usually out loud, what it would mean for civilization, and more importantly, moderately priced domestic wine.......but then to be hit by a "Dear John" letter of sorts from the Gallo family....er..company, severing their sponsorship ties with me and accusing me of "soiling the image of the full range of Gallo products to the point where shareholders have demanded and an immediate cessation of your (my) "Jug of the Day" Club priveledges"....well, needless to say I was devastated.

    With that, there is but one thing I can do:











    Wait............what have I done?........the Chablis is not responsible.....the Chablis is my friend.......the Chablis never disappoints.....the Chablis gives life............CHABLIS GOOD!
    PERDONARE ME - ERNEST, JULIO E CARLO

    Well then - catharsis complete,



    After the response to my homage to Ernest, I thought you Tetonites would appreciate some additional insights into the marketing geniuses that were E. & J. Gallo. I also figure that I can try to educate the youth of America. I am saying to the youth: reading is good, and it is good to read. Give them a little helpin’ hand so they keep on the straight and narrow. I have to respect a man of honor, and Ernest was a man of honor. I need to do my own part. That is why I decided to write an article about how to be a big success in business, like Ernest.

    I am sitting here in a lawn chair at the Carlo Rossi corporate headquarters, locker 223 at the port authority bus terminal. I love it here. Bein’ a big shot pro imbiber, you should never be too far from the customer. Every day I see folks around here enjoying the great taste of Carlo Rossi wine, whether they’re passed out next to a urinal or screaming their head off about the government controlling their brains from outer space -- I can recognize customers anywhere.

    And that is the first key of business. Know your customer. Never separate yourself from the people that put money in your pocket.

    The second key to success is to have a great business plan. A professional wrestler would never enter the ring unless he knew how he was going to beat the shit out of the other wrestler. I mean, do you think that he just hits somebody with a chair and that’s all there is to it? Fuck No, he plans for success as you should plan for success in your business venture. That is what a business plan is. Here is my interpretation of their first business plan, the blueprint, if you will, to the Carlo Rossi Empire.



    If you are in the fine wine makin’ industry then you will find that distribution is everything. If your customer can’t find your wine then he certainly can’t get a good buzz from it. Pretty simple when you think about it. One day Ernest and Julio were makin’ wine in a hotel room bath tub off route forty, and bam! The next year they're the favorite beverage of every fuckwit’ and derelict from coast to coast. They loved distribution and thank God that the vice president of ADME Distibution loves a chorus boy named Denny. Things just work out that way when you plan for success the way they did. Distribution is the third key to success.

    The fourth key to business success is promotions. You need the to create a brand name by associatin’ yourself with the right images. Carlo Rossi has created an image of success, great flavors and above all class. Nothin’ brings more class to an individual than Carlo Rossi Wine. They are not above imitation. When they first saw those Budweiser girls. They thought ,“’Holy shit! Titties and booze, now that’s two great tastes that go great together.” They tried to hire their own spokesmodels but as they both knew, that shit is expensive. C'mon, most spokesmodels aren’t working for a five-gallon jug of Carlo Rossi. Notice that I said most. I did happen to find a few gals that were a little more reasonable with their rates.

    THAT WAS TODAY'S CARLO ROSSI MOMENT



    When I last left you Tetonites, I had just completed yet another night of frolicsome debauchery amongst an endless sea of prime girlflesh only to be awoken by a sinister automated call at the ungodly hour of 6:00am. Apparently Gordon didn't think it inconvenient enough to have us ski at the local resorts and instead insisted that we drive to Swissland to ski Verbeer.

    Gordon paired me with another one of you Tetonites, a certain German fellow that I later deemed my "uber driver".

    As we dashed about the countryside,


    I slipped in and out of consciousness, wondering what lay ahead in the land that gave us hot cocoa...........



    We arrived at Verbihay, and once again, much to my dismay I found it filled with foreigners. We set out to ski down from Fort Mountain, and once again I was greeted by a series of metal steps that only served to compound the throbbing in my head.



    We went down, then up again, then down, then up again, then down, then up again, then down one final time. After a spirited drive back to Chimney, and a brief stop at the hotel to groom my moustache, we headed out to the MBC for what I thought was to be a night of dancing. Much to my chagrin, I found the place to be instead prepped for a slideshow to be given by the man whose house we drank dry only a few nights previous. I contented myself with drinking copious amounty of a witty little local vintage, until I looked up above and to my amazement saw the following strangely lit object attempt to make a landing just outside the establishment.



    Concerned that I would have to compete with another strangely lit object for the attention of any would be insta-suitors, I immediately charged through the front door to confront the interloper only to find that what I thought to be the mother ship was in fact a lighting fixture. My masculinity asunder and my competency now in question, I continued down the avenue towards the warm embrace of



    more to come.......
    Where am I?

  7. #107
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    eastern sierra
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    878
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Heh, I was thinking the same thing. An American horse trainer, Bob Baffert, had a horse running in the Kentucky Derby. When a reporter asked him, live on TV right before the race, how far it was to the track from his stables in Indiana, he said, "About eight beers." He got in all kinds of shit for that but I thought it was hilarious.

    He was a passenger, btw, before you all sanctimoniously kick my ass.
    classic quote, classic thread...thanx!

  8. #108
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    3,972
    A "Top secret" buisiness plan... so simple, yet... so perfect! My wife's not going to be too happy when she finds out I've taken over the bathtub, let alone the Kool-aid/battery acid stains on it. I won't let on to her about the crack whores til we're rollin' in dough.

    Glad you made it back for a visit/update Doc!

  9. #109
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    Apr 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorWhat? View Post
    Titties and booze, now that’s two great tastes that go great together
    Huzzah! and so true!

  10. #110
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    11,735
    Was this your CL posting DoctorWhat??

    http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/309290486.html

  11. #111
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Sir, the vino I imbibe comes strictly from jugs - I like jugs!

    I have however been keeping my eyes on this beauty.

    http://cgi.ebay.com/LightSpace-LED-I...QQcmdZViewItem
    Where am I?

  12. #112
    Join Date
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    DoctorWhat? is my hero

  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorWhat? View Post
    I have however been keeping my eyes on this beauty.

    http://cgi.ebay.com/LightSpace-LED-I...QQcmdZViewItem
    "eye catching" indeed.

  14. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    "eye catching" indeed.
    Indeed. And would have to be accompanied by the orange flying spaceship-like lighting fixture pictured above...
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  15. #115
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Durango
    Posts
    418
    beautiful thread
    if this isnt love im feeling for doctorwhat? than i just dont know what love is

  16. #116
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    Feb 2007
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    Beautiful Tetonitetress

    Do you know what teton means in English?????

    Judging by your photo, I think you just might.......

    You know jugs of wine are nice but.........

    Boobies.......

    Solid Hard Wood!!

    Must go now!
    Where am I?

  17. #117
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  18. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorWhat? View Post
    Beautiful Tetonitetress

    Do you know what teton means in English?????

    Judging by your photo, I think you just might.......

    You know jugs of wine are nice but.........

    Boobies.......

    Solid Hard Wood!!

    Must go now!
    so you like?
    haha jugs of wine are just great
    and yes,

    chest birds are amazing

  19. #119
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Not too sure
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    Bump for some steeeezy Chablis, Shamoknee and Leh Gheyrage inspired Happiness.
    Where am I?

  20. #120
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Alco-Hall of Fame
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    2,997
    Carlo Rossi Blush PWN35 shablee
    Last edited by lemon boy; 05-11-2007 at 01:03 PM.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  21. #121
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    Apr 2002
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    I have to say that I finished off a bottle of CR sangria in one night, the chabliss took me much longer.

  22. #122
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odin View Post
    I have to say that I finished off a bottle of CR sangria in one night, the chabliss took me much longer.
    The Paul Masson burgundy with the 3" flip-off top/liter was finished in one sitting Wednesday eve, quite nice.

    So whatcha been up to Doc?
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  23. #123
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Not too sure
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    49
    Swig...or...bump or whatever you guys call it. The days are hot and long and my memories of dancing the night away in Le Garage are keeping the good doctor sanish.

    Follow my lead, pour yourself a nice glass of chablis and...uh...enjoy.
    Where am I?

  24. #124
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    He Lives!

  25. #125
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    cottonwood
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    Sweet. tell me u have more Le garage pics..

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