Chamonix Feb 2004 Mini Summit

[Superstar Punani]

At long last, here is the overdue TR from the Cham mini-summit. It was an intense few days of skiing and partying! Special thanks to Idris for once again hooking us up with the goods, Splat for the hook-ups and LITC for the ride and transceiver/shovel.

Thurs 5 Feb 2004

Arrived. Insane views of Mont Blanc and the Alps flying into Geneva.



Fri 6 Feb 2004

Woke up to this sunrise at Granny's pad. Red in the morning = Storm alert!!!!



We arrived in Cham around 9am and found Splat. He had hooked a place for us across from the tram. Check out the sweet views from the pad looking up the Midi



Our first stop was Technique Extreme to get some crampons, a harness, and a morning BJ.



Next stop....the Tram! Phil stopped by to say hello, then he went off kiteskiing or doing something gnarly





We then found ourselves in a tram heading for the summit of the Aiguille du Midi



Splat Simmons from KISS



We put on our crampons, checked everything and waited in an hour long line to head down the Arete.





[blizzard flashback]
"This was the first day that the Aiguille was open with the exit tunnel not quite clear of snow and ice. The only people up here now were sightseeing tourists, or skiers who with their guide would walk down the arete knife edge."[/flashback]



--Edit: Say No to Red Xs (Thanks Trayc!)

[Superstar Punani]

[blizzard flashback] Chamonix- 9000 vertical feet!


Your life becomes your ante. YOU are responsible for your existence, in a game where losing means checking out for good.



The trip down the Arete was interesting and hairball in itself. A deep rut had been carved into the mountain and we were clinging onto the loose rope. Splat did a stage dive into a rut and someone else fell on him. I thought he was gone man...for sure. It was much too steep to be fucking around.

Finally we were off the Arete and getting ready to ski. Here's me and Tom. Note the clusterfuck of people on the Arete. The crowded area is the deep rut where Splat fell into.

(No, that is not a cock-ring)



Tom took us down the Petit Envers. My bud Norbs and I were in "Kirkwood mode" and veered off the tracks to get some freshies when Tom wasn't looking Then he and Splat busted us. "Stay on the tracks!"

L-R: LITT, Splat, Idris, Norbs


(Hey ladies, my tongue can reach the tip of my nose )


We negotiated our way into a sketchy crevasse-ridden section.

Then the unfortunate happens as LITT runs away and comes to rest in a shadowy section to the left of your screen, which was a hidden crevasse



At this point we're all yelling and screaming to see if he's ok. Tom casually looks over his shoulder to see what's up.



LITC is crawling back out of the crevasse.....


...and Splat arrives so he can throw LITT's ass back into the crevasse

...but enough shenanigans for now.

[Superstar Punani]

Skiing through that corridor seemed sketchy



Looking back


Looking back up towards the top.



Scenery is just nuts. Every photo you snapped looked like a postcard



We found a sun-baked face and Splat went into photog-drill-sergeant mode and started a photoslut session. You can see his head at the bottom right of the screen.







Tom went first to make sure it won't slide. It was soft spring like snow



Just as Splat finished, he launched off a rock, stuck it and then stepped out of his bindings at the runout, losing his $400 glasses. "Ahhhh fuggit- I'll come back up and look for it tomorrow!" Tom says "It will snow tomorrow!" and runs up to look for it. 15 minutes later Tom's skiing down "Here ya go! It was at the bottom of a head-shaped crater!!!"

We continued down towards the refuge and the Mer De Glace. The original plan was to get the last tram for another shot, but that would mean skiing a crevasse ridden zone all tired and beat up in the twilight...plus we missed the last tram.

Splat and Tom ahead of me


Looking back


T-1000 sent back from the future to terminate zee gapers.

[Superstar Punani]

More random pics pissfarting around on the glacier









Then it was Beer o'clock







Splat checking in at the El Dorado cafe

[Superstar Punani]

The day is over, and the night begins.....(Random drunk shots)

Cold-coolin at a bar, and we're looking for some action
(Punani, Norbs and Splat)


Well like Mick Jagger says I can't get no satisfaction...



Party on the dance floor....pa-pa-party pa-party!!!!!!!!


shake it...shake it...shake it

Shake it like a polaroid picture!!!!!




scary cougar




Token Cham drunk shot


Huh huh.... Hot farts!



Stay tuned for:

- Day trip to Italy
- Portes Du Soleil
- Insane powder day at Les Grand Montets

[truth]

Europe...enough said.

[Pinner]

Lesson to all noobs and poseurs. THIS RIGHT HERE is a maggot trip report!

[truth]

Originally posted by Pinner
poseurs.

Is that French?

[shirk]

WOW

[Mulletizer]

I am still reeling from the shock of seeing Punani refer to a cougar as "scary". What has happened to this man?

Great TR, really enjoyed it.

[basom]

SPPPPEEEEELLLLLAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!

looking good my friend

nice tr sp!

[Superstar Punani]

Our nightly entertainment: Splat telling us one of his many hilarious life stories. I swear you could write a whole encyclopedia worth of Splat Tales.



Full Moon over Cham



Brevant lit up




Random Artsy fartsy shots

[Superstar Punani]

Bongiorno!!! Ita isa day 2-a ofa da tripa. We head to Italia....

After a few hours sleep Tom wakes us up and throws us in the van for a trip through the Mont Blanc Tunnel to ski Italy



The road up the valley to Gressoney/ Monterosa



Monterosa was bad-ass. So many chutes, and other cool extreme stuff. Unfortunately the cable car connecting Alagna and Gressoney was shut because of the wind, so all we could do is drool.

Alagna, hiding underneath the clouds


So we bombed groomers. So much fun....it's like the Alpine Racer arcade game.



"I'll ski it for sure!"




The Italians take their lunchbreaks seriously. The mountain is deserted between 11 and 1. The crew had a pit stop to grab some ravioli, followed by some magic mushrooms



That afternoon we skied to the other side of the Monterossa valley



After a couple insane runs we got stuck on a chair that broke down for an hour. Howling winds, slow chair. It was almost as bad as chair 4 at Kirkweed, the longest slowest chair in the Sierras. Fortunately we had cool views to keep us entertained.

Looking back.



Looking right, scoping lines.

[Superstar Punani]

Howling winds


This was our view for the next hour


We were contemplating a chairlift evac.


At around 5:30 we were back on skis. Here's a glimpse of the sunset, seen from across the valley


And we're spent....

Hit the road back to Chamonix


Mont Blanc tunnel


The Man!




Ghost truck of the Mont Blanc tunnel.....we were the only car in sight but something came up on the digicam image right around the point where the explosion happened a few years ago (insert twilight zone theme)



That night we grabbed some dinner and got hammered once again.

[truth]

Nope...that's bad_roo.

[Superstar Punani]

Day 3. Portes Du Soleil.

Splat needed a whole day of sleep to recover from partying til 4am. Idris went snowboarding with his lady friend. Weather was ugly and windy as shit in Chamonix.

LITC took me and Norbs to Portes Du Soleil. The lower elevation runs were shit and rained-on, but we scored pow at the higher elevations.

I was too tired and cold to piss fart around taking snap shots. We found a cool little cornice to session and then a stash of pow. Here's my bud Norbs getting some.



Cool hucks at this area.


Norbs again


We went on the other side and found loads of fresh. Then we cut over to an off-piste section were an avie had ripped the mountain a new one. I skied down and I literally turned around in 2 seconds and Norbs had disappeared.

I hiked back up to where I last saw him. Each step and pole plant cracked the snow and I could see a weak snowpack. Had to go up there to make sure he wasn't in a treewell , crevasse, or skied off into the avie zone. Luckily he just skied off into another part of the ski area for more fresh. I spent the rest of the day lapping up pow and freaking out, alternately, since he's been known to get him or others he skis with in shit.

The road back to Geneva was picturesque





We dropped Norbs off at the airport. I was back at granny's for some rest. Orignally planned to take Monday off and return Tuesday.

Late Sunday night, granny's phone rings. It was Splat.

"GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE A KILL BLUEBIRD POWDER DAY!!!! GET YOUR ASS BACK TO CHAM NNNNNNNOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! WE'RE HEADING UP TO THE ENVERS!!!!"

Here I was, dead tired, big home-cooked meal and chilling with Granny.

I repack my unpacked stuff. Gotta get the early bus back to Cham to get the goods!

[GT40]

Killer story and pics!!

[Superstar Punani]

Les Grand Montets Feb 9, 2004.

I rolled into town around 10am. Figured Splat and Flingle were already up the Aiguille. Here I was, no tranny, no shovel, no probe, no nothing. Tom was working today.

Hauled ass to Grand Montets up the valley. I haven't had a solo ski session in a long time. It was different. On one hand you got to do whatever you wanted, no group decisions, no stopping and waiting, no one waiting for you. On the other hand, you had no one to scope your lines or call patrol if/when you got fucked up.

Having spent 5 months bumming around in this here parts in between college and the real world and clocking up around 50 days at Les Grand Montets I felt pretty comfortable with all the inbounds stuff and still remember the old stashes- take this sign for instance. I remember some cool steep shit off here.... It drew me closer like a fly to fresh hot steaming dog shit.





Sure enough, the upside-down man falling off a cliff was a good indicator of what would happen if you fucked up.



Note the shark's teeth. It was a freaking cool entrance into le lavancher (a region so huge you ski untracked snow 2-3 days after a storm)

On my first run I squeezed my ass shut and picked a line in between rocks. Half billygoating, half poking to make sure it was pow, not windscoured. It was like the Cham version of Ooops and Poops and Cirque. Skier666 and Tyrone would have been creaming their pants!

I lapped up the left side of Le Lavancher. Nothing but sweeeeet pow in the shade all the way to the bottom.

The special treats were in the last section. No one was hitting it at all. It looked a little concave at the top.





I was a little sketched skiing this on my own. Every section of Les Grand Montets is avalanche-prone and deadly in the wrong conditions, but a skiers dream when it's right.

It was insane skiing down with a shitload of sluff, I was stoked and shitting my pants at the same time, keeping an eye out for fractures or slides.

Here's the stash I milked that morning- all in the trees that no one had hit. knee deep light dry fluff



Who got the fresssssshiiiiies?



Back down to the Bochard Gondy for more of Le Lavancher. This time I fell in a no-fall zone and luckily got away with only skid marks in my boxers. It was another sketchy line at the top. I launched into what looked like fresh soft pow, clipped a submerged sharktooth and was sent on my ass, sliding on my back head-first on a steep rock-ridden face at full speed. All I could see was a jagged rock the size of an SUV with a sharp knife-like point. That thing would have either cut me in half or broken me. somehow I managed to avert my slide direction so I missed it by a foot. then I was still heading towards the other sharks teeth. Muscled my way around, skis reconnect, stand up and skied out with about 20 feet before a rocky ragdoll. Fuck it was intense. If I hadn't been constipated on a bread/cheese diet I would have shat my pants.

Chamonix always has a way of spanking you to remind you that you're her bitch.

I lapped up Le Lavancher for the next few hours. No one else was hitting the pow stashes. So siiiick

Top of LL looking down. everything in the shadows = POW!!!!


Part of LL, seen from the chair

[Schmear]

Originally posted by Punani
It drew me closer like a fly to fresh hot steaming dog shit.

Contemplating a new sig....

[Superstar Punani]

Scenery was just insane.

Here's the view looking towards Mont Blanc taken at the top of Couloir Poubelle. Blizzard fanatics take not of the wall wehre Schmidty, Plake and Hattrup rappeled down.



The view of Mont Blanc and Aiguille. Somewhere in this frame, possibly at the very second I snapped this shot, This is what was going down. ("A deep day with Splat and Flingle")




Super-Double-Extremo-gnargnar-sketch line



Panoramic view of the Chamonix Valley:





That afternoon I lapped up the Herse chair wa over skiers right, sticking to the north facing stashes in the shadow. More of the same. lots of soft stuff, some fun lines. legs burning.....



The top tram looked sketchy. It kept breaking down. I remember some heli crashed after clipping the cables a few weeks ago. That, the 45 minute line, and the fact that I was skiing solo without any avie gear meant I'd have to put it off...for now. But I'll be back.


My last run down Le Lavancher was the same- freshies, stll untracked, no one around.

4:20, baby! Time to call it a day.



Staring at the map I figured that 30,000' vert of pow was gotten today.


Cruising back to the pad.....Of all the buses in all the ski towns in all the world, Splat and Flingle walks into mine.

"Punani!!!! Wait till you see these pics!!! YOU WILL SHIT!!!!!!"





"Hey guys! Fun day huh?"

We grabbed dinner at an Italian place then Tom dropped me off to Geneva the next morning. I spent the next day chilling with Granny, showing her the extremo ski photos and recapping the past 4 days. Tom cruised by for some dinner then the next morning I was on a flight back to Hell A.....my parole is over and I'm back in my 10th floor cell, pondering my next adventure.

[jdabasin]

GREAT story and pics!!!! Freaking jealous....sounds almost as good as the Utah mini!
So.....who got to sample some silly Chamonix biznatches????

[Superstar Punani]

Originally posted by Bullet
Punani, You are so fucking cool right now. That looked like a blast. Question though - did you show those dopes at the french office the correct way to submit their TPS report covers?

Ha! Can you believe work paid me to go there and get drunk with the Euro managerment team and then subsidized a good portion of my skiing expenses? 3 hour lunch breaks with beer and wine, siestas, partying every night. Those guys rule. I'll see if I can get transferred over there for the winter months. I think this whole trip cost me, like, $300!

They did get the memo on using the new TPS report cover sheets

[ArmchairExtreme]

Absofuckinglutely world class trip report, Poon.

[comish]

Damn that really makes me miss the Alps. Was in Cham about the same time last year. Skiing Glacier Rond and then running into Splat at the top of Brevant. Damn Damn Damn, I want to go back. I will be back.

Excellent report.

[Arty50]

Originally posted by Punani
If I hadn't been constipated on a bread/cheese diet I would have shat my pants.

Excellent new sig...thank you.