Hair Follicle Drug Test: Am I Fucked?

[Woodsy]

drug tests are done by cpmpanies to reduce liablity and insurance costs.
all you smart aleks with your hair cut theories dont relize they will yank chest, or, um other hair if need be.

most dont test penatrance for a long history, just short term.
te long histrory tests are REALLyY expensvie and i believe only requried by some companies that woork on certan gov projects.

[snowful]

Figured. Am I a JONG for JONGING a spammer?

JONGier than me.

I want to know what happened with TW as well.

[Lonnie]

all you smart aleks with your hair cut theories dont relize they will yank chest, or, um other hair if need be.

When I say bare ass, I mean BARE ass.

[Woodsy]

When I say bare ass, I mean BARE ass.

in my few years of overseeing said test for a resort hotel i never encountered this

[Lonnie]

in my few years of overseeing said test for a resort hotel i never encountered this

Yeah, don't mind me, just being a smart ass....

[Woodsy]

Yeah, don't mind me, just being a smart ass....

Yeah, HAIRLESS FREAK wasn't a demographic we mined for employees.

[fez]

That would be a spammer right there.

I liked the irony of someone pitching a drug test here, so I left it.

i wasnt going to bump the thread to jong the jong for jonging the other jong, but the spammer is actually pushing ways to beat hair follicle drug tests.

could be a market here for that.

[Cliff Huckable]

So I've accepted an offer for a great job at an old-line industrial firm in the Fortune 500. It's a great job that will provide me with a 40% raise, a great title, and job responsibilities that are right up my alley.

Unfortunately, I got the whole pre-employment screening package from them today in the mail and, to my horror, their drug testing process uses hair-follicle tests and not urine as I had presumed. Oops.

I've been known to smoke the magic weed every now and again. And again. And again. In anticipation of some sort of test, I stopped as of October 1 and then "re-lapsed" October 9 when I tore my MCL and needed something to take my mind off the pain. Haven't touched anything since then, but from what I've read, that's too short of a window for hair-follicle tests. I've also read that all of those test-passing shampoo things you can find on the Net are bullshit.

Anyone with experience with this care to weigh in? Am I as fucked as I think I am?

I know this is an ancient thread, but can someone tell me why in the hell a company would care if an employee has smoked, or does somke, outside of work?

[Woodsy]

I know this is an ancient thread, but can someone tell me why in the hell a company would care if an employee has smoked, or does somke, outside of work?

did i stutter in my post

[Tippster]

Yeah, HAIRLESS FREAK wasn't a demographic we mined for employees.

So how do you deal with SUDDENLY HAIRLESS FREAK employees? Is that a probable cause thing and thus fire-able?

[Woodsy]

Hair test was pre employment,
If the employee was injured OTJ or did over $250 in damage to something, that was a whiz quiz by EOB that day or next day if the place was closed.

it sucked because i saw chefs go home with mangled hands just to "injure themselves @ home" and valets lose their jobs for dinging a car.

one of the reasons i left that job, and that town.

[Falldise]

WTF! I read this thread which was freaking old, but that was the perk. I figured it would be a story with an ending. What happened!!!!!!!!!!!

[iceclimb]

I know this is an ancient thread, but can someone tell me why in the hell a company would care if an employee has smoked, or does somke, outside of work?

Ok... I know this is a troll.. but I'll bite.... a company I used to work for cared because you couldn't get government printing contracts unless you could prove you drug tested your employees. Since (at that time) govt printing contracts were about 80% of their income.. they tested us.

Similarly, you need to show proactive testing for many Govt contracts and grants.

Now.. I didn't say I agree with that.. BUT... it's their war on drugs.. and they fight it they way they fight it. So.. I can't blame a company for doing the testing if they are after those contracts.... but I don't have to work for them either.

[CarlMega]

^incredibly disappointed in this bump. fuck off for letting me down

[ill-advised strategy]

Give 'em a butt hair

This is actually brilliant. Shave everything except one single long butthole hair. You want it? come get this one.

[highangle]

Hair test was pre employment,
If the employee was injured OTJ or did over $250 in damage to something, that was a whiz quiz by EOB that day or next day if the place was closed.

it sucked because i saw chefs go home with mangled hands just to "injure themselves @ home" and valets lose their jobs for dinging a car.

one of the reasons i left that job, and that town.

Did you microchip the maids?

[KQ]

^incredibly disappointed in this bump. fuck off for letting me down

I think that's a spam bot as it has been pulling up several old thread that deal with OTJ drug testing

[Woodsy]

^incredibly disappointed in this bump. fuck off for letting me down

bots confronting me with my history.

[CarlMega]

I think that's a spam bot as it has been pulling up several old thread that deal with OTJ drug testing

I know but when I saw the title re-emerge - I was eager for some delicious ironic follow-up like "Gang.. remember that worrisome hair-test for a new job w/ a 40% pay raise? Turns out it's for a company that produces this new Macujo 7 -step process..."

[alia55]

The company I work for only does very infrequent random urinalysis. So after 7 years w/1 random and covid stress/discovery of synthetic pee I started taking some puffs on 4/20 of this year.

I was loving it again until I got the unexpected news that my Co. was just bought by one of the biggest companies in the world. I'm pretty sure they use a follicle test for new hires.

I'm confident that my position will survive the merger, just curious what kind of drug test they would use for on boarding in merger situation.

Luckily they won't be finalizing the merger until mid-Q4.

Any corporate raiders out there with advice?

[Timberridge]

Could you just shave your head?

[alia55]

Could you just shave your head?

from the research I've done that's a red flag and they'll take a sample from some place with really slow growing hair like leg, arm, b-hole, etc...
failure to provide any fur would be a DQ

[Skidog]

hey, I know this is old but I've heard that this test is one of the right ones a s it cannot be faked.. though I've passed only the urine one at the moment

Yeah pretty hard to beat hair follicle. Pee is easy

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[Cocximus]

Damn, companies test the spinal fluid but people loose their shit over wearing a mask?

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[riser4]

Damn, companies test the spinal fluid but people loose their shit over wearing a mask?

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Ya. It's ok because it's a corporation. Gubmit bad.