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  1. #1
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    Pass the test ...

    Friend is a chronic THC user ... any tips, other than drinking 3 gallons of water?

    Thanks Mags.

  2. #2
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    stop smoking pot for a month.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  3. #3
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    Test is in 3 days ...

  4. #4
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    I think that the human mind is unique among all other forms of life in that it can spontaneously create unique thoughts and provide unique behaviors. Instead of rewarding that uniqueness we, for some reason probably because of cultural and social necessity, we chastise unique behavior and reward conformity.

  5. #5
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    He's fuct*






    *but miracles happen every day.
    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  6. #6
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    Cranberry juice is supposed to be good at flushing the system.

  7. #7
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    urine or hair test?
    "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow"

    Moment skis

  8. #8
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    Looks like urine ...

  9. #9
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    go to gnc and get some herbal tea w/ vitamin b tablets. i forget what it is called, but just ask someone who works there if your not afraid to. you have to drink a gallon over a 3 hr period prior to the time of the test. vitamin b keeps the urine natural color.
    Last edited by JMan; 07-21-2006 at 08:33 AM.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by HyRUPz
    Looks like urine ...
    Unless it's one of the hardcore urine tests where they actually stand there and watch you piss, you should have him try the Urine Luck or some other type of masking agent. If there aren't any retailers close or if he's tight on cash he could always have a non-smoker piss in a condom and just empty that into the test vial. In any event if it is a test where they actually sit there and watch you, then yeah, he's fuct. The only thing that might work in that situation is one of those fake penises that contain a small bladder to hold some clean urine.
    I think that the human mind is unique among all other forms of life in that it can spontaneously create unique thoughts and provide unique behaviors. Instead of rewarding that uniqueness we, for some reason probably because of cultural and social necessity, we chastise unique behavior and reward conformity.

  11. #11
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    Why is he being tested? Job? Insurance?
    Quote Originally Posted by StuntCok View Post
    Splat did tell me he liked his pussy like he liked his ski boots. I guess he meant dank, stinky and a bit packed out.

  12. #12
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    Job ... don't think it will be a "witnessed" pee session ...

    Knew we could count on TGR community for tips ... thnx all!

  13. #13
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    It's always a friend.

    Most pre-employment tests are low level tests because they are cheap. They only test for a large amount so if he only smokes a couple times a month, he should pass. If he smokes regularly, all of these answers will work. One more is a couple ounces of bleach in a gallon of water and some vitamin B. He'll feel like shit but he'll pass.

    If it's the type of job that really cares about this stuff (ie law enforcement, certain gov jobs...), they will test with a more expensive test that looks at a smaller ppm and may watch your buddy pee. If they are not watching, the best way is a condom full of clean pee.
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Well, I'm not allowed to delete this post, but, I can say, go fuck yourselves, everybody!

  14. #14
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    Even if the test is not observed, standard protocol usually will have a temperature indicator adhered to the sample container. Any sample being provided needs to be served warm. Aside from attempting to circumvent the test, your friend should consider whether this is a good placement. Random tests are likely even if he gets by this one. Last I checked an employer is still entitled (if not required) to maintain a drug-free workplace. Not a popular opinion here, but you only have to see one industrial injury to be convinced.

    I recommend taking up chronic drinking. Get inebriated legally and live with the side-effects.
    Last edited by Cirquerider; 07-21-2006 at 08:54 AM.
    ________________________________________________
    If pigs had wings there'd be no bacon

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cirquerider
    Even if the test is not observed, standard protocol usually will have a temperature indicator adhered to the sample container. Any sample being provided needs to be served warm. Aside from attempting to circumvent the test, your friend should consider whether this is a good placement. Random tests are likely even if he gets by this one. Last I checked an employer is still entitled (if not required) to maintain a drug-free workplace. Not a popular opinion here, but you only have to see one industrial injury to be convinced.

    I recommend taking up chronic drinking. Get inebriated legally and live with the side-effects.
    Hand warmer packets.

    But yeah, if you don't want to deal with the hassle of all of this, drinking is an option.
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Well, I'm not allowed to delete this post, but, I can say, go fuck yourselves, everybody!

  16. #16
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    Fuckin’ ridiculous. Until they can devise a test that detects current intoxication levels drug tests are an affront to our right to privacy.

    Go to a head shop…they have tons of products there. There are various message boards on the internet where you can find discussions on which products actually work.

  17. #17
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    I will suggest chronic drinking replacement

    Thanks again!

  18. #18
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    Shockingly, this has come up before.
    Good tips here.
    Montani Semper Liberi

  19. #19
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    Saw that already ... thanks anyway.

  20. #20
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    my company tests pre-employment and on suspicion of intoxication at work. no random. and in the three years since this policy has been in place, no one has ever been tested on suspicion. only pre-employment.

    when i was applying they dropped the drug test bomb on me right after i got back from a labor day weekend trip fishing with my buddies. and yeah, i smoked more than a little that weekend. we managed to delay things for a few days, i bought a couple bottles of unsweetened cranberry juice concentrate at the health food store and was putting a little of that in my quart nalgene and sucking down probably a dozen a day for a few days.
    I was peeing non stop, getting up in the middle of the night, very well hydrated.

    came time to pee, I thought i was going to piss myself driving to the testing place. you coulda drank that shit and not known. crystal clear like mountain spring water. in and out of the bathroom so fast that the woman dealing with the specimine commented on how quick i was. all i could say was 'can i go back in and finish?'

    but i did pass.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    Ben Franklin

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by HyRUPz
    Saw that already ... thanks anyway.
    Yet you still posted. Why?
    "if the city is visibly one of humankind's greatest achievements, its uncontrolled evolution also can lead to desecration of both nature and the human spirit."
    -- Melvin G. Marcus 1979

  22. #22
    freaks~in~creeks Guest
    dude
    here's what to do
    1) buy the smallest stainless steel thermos you can find, like from a kitchen store, no more than 16oz, smallest is best!!
    day of test-
    no longer than 1 hour before test, have someone you KNOW is clean piss in the thermos.
    close up the lid-most thermoses have a screw on top with a push button pour spout so you can pour without removing the lid-this is what you want
    whoevers getting tested-wear oversized boxer shorts
    duct tape one leg closed around your leg so nothing can fall through
    wear large baggy pants that you need a belt for
    wear oversized ,long hanging shirt that hangs down as low as possible over your waist
    just before you go in, stuff the thermos into your boxer shorts at an angle down your leg ,so if any one is actually checking out your crotch, it will appear you are very very happy to see them
    take care to suck in gut, and not draw attention by walking funny,etc
    go take the test
    when you go in the room ,cough loudly as you push the button on thermos lid to open it
    fill cup
    cough loudly again as you push the button lid closed
    stuff thermos back int0 pants and enjoy your clean test results
    this always works if sample is clean
    temps on the sample cup are stringently checked, so the thermos will keep the sample within 1 to 2 degrees of the original temperature for at least one hour ..try not to push it....as pissing below a certain temp is not humanly possible and they may look at you funny if yours is
    THE ONLY GARantee is CLEAN PISS
    those drinks and pills n shit make your sample look diluted,or as if you drank alot of water and they will make you retest at a later date
    also,many many old timers swear by drinking alarge amount of water /juice mixed with FRUIT PECTIN found where canning supplies are sold at the grocery store..add i box to a gallon of fluid 1-2 hrs before your test.
    dont fuck it up

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by HyRUPz
    Friend is a chronic THC user ... any tips, other than drinking 3 gallons of water?

    Thanks Mags.
    golden seal.

    additionally for a little more pain he can take two niacin pills. basically your body heats up a little bit. but I've used this trick twice on short notice and passed with flying colors.
    "The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money" --Margaret Thatcher

  24. #24
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    I once took a test on a Friday after working out (and drinking lots of fluids)...no big deal, I was clean for a few months....went out that night and ran into an old friend and spent the wee hours doing what I hadn't done in 2 months....Monday I get a call from HR..."uh, Corky you urine test was too diluted, we need you to go in and take another test."

    I was able to put them off for a few days and basically drank water until me stomach exploded....the key though, before the test I diluted the crap out of myself and took about 10 b vitamins an hour or two prior to "undilute" it and make it yellow....I passed!!

    All of those "cleansers" like golden seal or vinegar I think are BS.....just tell your friend to drink lot's and lot's of water (especially before the test) and take b vitamins. Working out a few days prior helps flush it out of body fat - just don't do that within a day or two of the test because it'll flush it into his blood stream and could hurt...

  25. #25
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    Telenater ... yeah, and? Additional RFI, duh.

    it's a 35105N SAP 5-50 W/NIT test ... whatever that means ...

    Thanks all, we'll see.
    Last edited by HyRUPz; 07-21-2006 at 06:35 PM.

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