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Thread: work bathrooms = SLAY3D
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06-22-2006, 06:24 PM #26
You havn't even seen slayed until you've gone to a Phish concert. Some big chewbaccah looking motherfucker will just hop on the public sink and take a huge dump and leave without wiping.
Or ever been to a large outdoor event, and seen shit stacked in a port-o-potty literally over the seats height?
Or what about the diarreah bandit?
http://http://www.diarrheabandit.com
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06-22-2006, 06:25 PM #27
As long as we are on the subject, I am hoping that someone can enlighten me as to a phenomenon that I have witnessed at every bathroom where I have worked for any length of time:
The poo sprayed RIM AND UNDERSEAT of the toilet. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
This is the scene: You walk into a stall and someone has "blown mud" up the back of the bowl and, somehow, right up to and under the seat. How is that possible?
Is, against all know laws of human physiology, their anus located in a nearly vertical position?
Are they blowing it out with such massive force that it deflects off of the water and changes trajectory from downward to a 45 degree angle toward the back of the bowl?
Is it dispersed in the middle of a flatulence episode so awesome that a tornadic event is created within the confines of the bowl that slings it to the underside of the seat?
Are they performing a hover maneuver over the bowl with the seat up and got "too far in the back seat"?
Seriously. The physics of it flummox me to this day. I mean, I was formerly a consumer of Tex-Mex on a daily basis and I have experienced fecal discharges that would bring toilet-cleaning Iraqi spider-cave dwellers to their knees. I have had flatulence episodes that made my eyes water, my nose run, and my sphincter bleed. I have shit green diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting yellow bile. But never, NEVER, have I blown shit in an upward direction.
If someone can shed some light on this seemingly paranormal occurence, I would be eternally grateful."Holy Blower!" - Jeremy Jones
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06-22-2006, 08:20 PM #28Registered User
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^^^^^
you mean highmarking??
typically the result of PBR benderslet your tracks be lost in the dark and snow
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06-22-2006, 08:23 PM #29Originally Posted by eDub
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06-22-2006, 08:39 PM #30
Hahahahah! Poopie threads always make me laugh and this one didn't disappoint.
Stone-free, that was some mighty fine writing. I'm still giggling over it!
Sprite"I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ
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06-22-2006, 08:53 PM #31Originally Posted by alpinedad
I'd really love to yell that and have someone asking me for change for a nickel when I'm blowing the bottom out of the toilet.__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
"We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats
"I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso
Cisco and his wife are fragile idiots who breed morons.
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06-23-2006, 08:13 AM #32Originally Posted by gormsBush got C's.... Obama probably failed lunch
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06-23-2006, 11:09 AM #33
The bathroom in my office has been declared a Superfund site. This, thanks to yesterday's hot link sandwich w/ hot sauce at lunch followed by Luigi's pizza for dinner and several rum and cokes.
My sphincter is toxic.Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.
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06-23-2006, 11:41 AM #34Originally Posted by Stone-Free
When I was eleven or twelve my father took my younger brother and me to a Pitt football game. At some point I took my brother to the bathroom, where he discovered a clogged toilet and had fun causing it to overflow... all over the sandaled feet of the man dropping a nasty duke in the next stall over. After about the fifth time he sacked up enough to yell at us, so we flushed a few more times for good measure and went back to our seats before he finished.I'm in a band. It's called "Just the Tip."
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06-23-2006, 04:58 PM #35Originally Posted by gorms
On a related subject, I was taking care of some business today in stall area and from under walls I can see someone walk into the bathroom and enter the stall next to me - wearing socks and no shoes."Holy Blower!" - Jeremy Jones
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06-23-2006, 06:43 PM #36
I the desert we brought a sheet of plywood with four holes and four seats attached. Dug a hole and went to town. Co-ed. We where already so misarable no one cared. Spackling was bad when four people where listening. What really sucked was wacthing a fly come up out of the pile and land on your face. The absolute most fun was when the wind hit just right and the TP started to fly. Pretty much got to give the gag reflex a test daily. No one appreciates porcelain more than me. I think I could do a whole thread on Porta Johns.
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06-23-2006, 10:10 PM #37
I've shared bathrooms with girls more times than I care to count, and I can honestly say it smells like roses when women are poo-ing...
I know this because I'm the one choking back the vomit tickling my throat while waving the spray can like a metronome in hyperdrive... Judiciously, as Ms. Erica would put it.
I have a hunch that the Nazis gassed their prisoners with the odiferous remains of bratwurst & sauerkraut, the most lethal combination known to humankind.Balls Deep in the 'Ho
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06-23-2006, 10:39 PM #38Originally Posted by eDub
How about the people who leave their work in the toilet for the next guy? I respect someone who can stink up a bathroom for hours, but not flushing--that's beyond the pale, IMO.
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06-24-2006, 04:57 PM #39Originally Posted by Stone-Free
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06-24-2006, 05:06 PM #40Originally Posted by InspectorGadget
I'm LMAO as well!Calmer than you dude
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06-25-2006, 12:51 PM #41Originally Posted by irul&ublo
When the professor said the word "big dirties" I nearly lost it.
apartment bathroom = slay3d. see this thread tomorrow morning at work after the slaying.
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06-25-2006, 01:47 PM #42Originally Posted by snowsprite
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06-25-2006, 10:52 PM #43
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06-25-2006, 11:12 PM #44Originally Posted by The AD
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06-25-2006, 11:16 PM #45
I have been refreshing this thread hourly.
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06-26-2006, 07:24 AM #46
I slayed a throne a few months back at our Mexico office. This particular throne is across from the Presidents office. Needless to say the locals avoid using this one and use the one on the plant floor. Me, well my stomach is having a issues with the fresh salsa that I had with lunch. Gurrgle, blurp.... 'Oh shit'. I set a record High-mark...
After this I was asked never to use that restroom again.Since then it's been a book you read in reverse, so you understand less as the pages turn.
The things you find on the net.
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06-26-2006, 07:48 AM #47
I just had a little encounter with the bathroom at my work place. It was one of those poops where you haven't gone in three days because of eating a ton of cheese. Anyway, i dropped a huge brisquette that immediately sank to the bottom leaving wonderful streaks and a horrible stench on its way. A courtesy flush would be useless for this.
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06-26-2006, 08:29 AM #48Originally Posted by Grange
Sprite"I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ
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06-26-2006, 09:23 AM #49
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06-26-2006, 09:33 AM #50
The UPS guy just showed up and left a smoking crater in the office bathroom. Apparently when they say "heavy lifting" on the job description they ain't just talking about packages.
What can brown do for you?
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