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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Shit Stink, CO (Greeley)
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    56
    You havn't even seen slayed until you've gone to a Phish concert. Some big chewbaccah looking motherfucker will just hop on the public sink and take a huge dump and leave without wiping.

    Or ever been to a large outdoor event, and seen shit stacked in a port-o-potty literally over the seats height?

    Or what about the diarreah bandit?
    http://http://www.diarrheabandit.com

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    limbo
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    256
    As long as we are on the subject, I am hoping that someone can enlighten me as to a phenomenon that I have witnessed at every bathroom where I have worked for any length of time:

    The poo sprayed RIM AND UNDERSEAT of the toilet. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

    This is the scene: You walk into a stall and someone has "blown mud" up the back of the bowl and, somehow, right up to and under the seat. How is that possible?

    Is, against all know laws of human physiology, their anus located in a nearly vertical position?

    Are they blowing it out with such massive force that it deflects off of the water and changes trajectory from downward to a 45 degree angle toward the back of the bowl?

    Is it dispersed in the middle of a flatulence episode so awesome that a tornadic event is created within the confines of the bowl that slings it to the underside of the seat?

    Are they performing a hover maneuver over the bowl with the seat up and got "too far in the back seat"?

    Seriously. The physics of it flummox me to this day. I mean, I was formerly a consumer of Tex-Mex on a daily basis and I have experienced fecal discharges that would bring toilet-cleaning Iraqi spider-cave dwellers to their knees. I have had flatulence episodes that made my eyes water, my nose run, and my sphincter bleed. I have shit green diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting yellow bile. But never, NEVER, have I blown shit in an upward direction.

    If someone can shed some light on this seemingly paranormal occurence, I would be eternally grateful.
    "Holy Blower!" - Jeremy Jones

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Market St. Station
    Posts
    1,050
    ^^^^^
    you mean highmarking??
    typically the result of PBR benders
    let your tracks be lost in the dark and snow

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jack Tone Road
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    12,772
    Quote Originally Posted by eDub
    If someone can shed some light on this seemingly paranormal occurence, I would be eternally grateful.
    I would PM that guy Poop*Ghost; if anyone knows, he will.

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Outside the cube
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    6,953
    Hahahahah! Poopie threads always make me laugh and this one didn't disappoint.

    Stone-free, that was some mighty fine writing. I'm still giggling over it!

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    sandy, sl,ut
    Posts
    8,138
    Quote Originally Posted by alpinedad
    Did you shout out, "Game on, mothafucka!"
    what about yelling "leeeeerrooyyy jeeeennnnkiiins!"

    I'd really love to yell that and have someone asking me for change for a nickel when I'm blowing the bottom out of the toilet.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
    "We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats

    "I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Up the Canyon
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    1,883
    Quote Originally Posted by gorms
    Typically the result of PBR benders
    What is it in PBR and Hamms that give you water-ass? I drank 7 PBR's pre-gaming the Broncos-Steelers at Investco Field. During the game I accidently popped the clutch on a would-be fart and ended up throwing out my boxers. I missed almost the entire 4th quarter with ass vomit, but it was a shitty game anyway.
    Bush got C's.... Obama probably failed lunch

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    20,058
    The bathroom in my office has been declared a Superfund site. This, thanks to yesterday's hot link sandwich w/ hot sauce at lunch followed by Luigi's pizza for dinner and several rum and cokes.

    My sphincter is toxic.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  9. #34
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Nowhere
    Posts
    4,964
    Quote Originally Posted by Stone-Free
    What is it in PBR and Hamms that give you water-ass? I drank 7 PBR's pre-gaming the Broncos-Steelers at Investco Field. During the game I accidently popped the clutch on a would-be fart and ended up throwing out my boxers. I missed almost the entire 4th quarter with ass vomit, but it was a shitty game anyway.
    Only a shitty game (pun intended?) if your a bronco's fan.


    When I was eleven or twelve my father took my younger brother and me to a Pitt football game. At some point I took my brother to the bathroom, where he discovered a clogged toilet and had fun causing it to overflow... all over the sandaled feet of the man dropping a nasty duke in the next stall over. After about the fifth time he sacked up enough to yell at us, so we flushed a few more times for good measure and went back to our seats before he finished.
    I'm in a band. It's called "Just the Tip."

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    limbo
    Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorms
    ^^^^^
    you mean highmarking??
    typically the result of PBR benders
    But again, how?

    On a related subject, I was taking care of some business today in stall area and from under walls I can see someone walk into the bathroom and enter the stall next to me - wearing socks and no shoes.
    "Holy Blower!" - Jeremy Jones

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Off Pioneer
    Posts
    529
    I the desert we brought a sheet of plywood with four holes and four seats attached. Dug a hole and went to town. Co-ed. We where already so misarable no one cared. Spackling was bad when four people where listening. What really sucked was wacthing a fly come up out of the pile and land on your face. The absolute most fun was when the wind hit just right and the TP started to fly. Pretty much got to give the gag reflex a test daily. No one appreciates porcelain more than me. I think I could do a whole thread on Porta Johns.

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    MI
    Posts
    4,971

    Unhappy

    I've shared bathrooms with girls more times than I care to count, and I can honestly say it smells like roses when women are poo-ing...

    I know this because I'm the one choking back the vomit tickling my throat while waving the spray can like a metronome in hyperdrive... Judiciously, as Ms. Erica would put it.

    I have a hunch that the Nazis gassed their prisoners with the odiferous remains of bratwurst & sauerkraut, the most lethal combination known to humankind.
    Balls Deep in the 'Ho

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    22,467
    Quote Originally Posted by eDub
    But again, how?
    I think it just sprays out everywhere. Highmarking the rim or underside of the seat is impressive, though.

    How about the people who leave their work in the toilet for the next guy? I respect someone who can stink up a bathroom for hours, but not flushing--that's beyond the pale, IMO.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,861
    Quote Originally Posted by Stone-Free
    The mens shitter on my main floor is directly across the hall from my office. On Monday, this asshat comes down from the 2nd floor and fucking destroys the shitter. Loud 5-10 second farts, mixed in with random machine gun farts. His ass is literally throwing up for minutes, and I have bank VP sitting in my office. We are chatting, and I'm trying to keep a straight face.

    Captain Butt-Trumpet opens the bathroom door, he cant see my client, and yells- 'Whatya think of that, Stone? Nice work huh?'

    He walks into the doorway of my office to chat, sees the VP, and turns 8 shades of red and leaves. I was fucking mortified....
    We have a winner. hif-inglarious

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    R.O.C.
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    4,034
    Quote Originally Posted by InspectorGadget
    I was already laughing my ass off - no pun intended - reading this thread, but Stone-Free's post was nice work.

    I'm LMAO as well!
    Calmer than you dude

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo
    The bathroom in my office has been declared a Superfund site. This, thanks to yesterday's hot link sandwich w/ hot sauce at lunch followed by Luigi's pizza for dinner and several rum and cokes.

    My sphincter is toxic.
    Needless to say, but environmental law this semester was one big poop joke. Clean Water, Clean Air, RCRA, and CERCLA, point source discharge, effluent limitations, etc. all funnel well into bathroom jokes.

    When the professor said the word "big dirties" I nearly lost it.

    apartment bathroom = slay3d. see this thread tomorrow morning at work after the slaying.
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    WI
    Posts
    4,245
    Quote Originally Posted by snowsprite
    Sidenote (because I love those...) One time when my eyeballs were floating at a concert I could not stand in the ladies room line anymore. So I strode into the men's room with a desperate look on my face, and the line there (albeit smaller) parted like the red sea. They looked a bit surprised, but ushered me in and were very gentlemenly about it. At that point I would have taken a urinal.

    Who says chivalry is dead?

    Sprite
    This is quite common during Oktoberfest. It seems the main reason guy's let women ahead of them to use the stall even though they usually have to "piss like a race horse" is so they can watch the woman piss from the top of the stall often with camera in hand.


  18. #43
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Missoula, MT
    Posts
    21,612
    i love the tgr forum
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    The Mall
    Posts
    423
    Quote Originally Posted by The AD
    How about the people who leave their work in the toilet for the next guy? I respect someone who can stink up a bathroom for hours, but not flushing--that's beyond the pale, IMO.
    At least if you do this build up a floating raft of toilet paper first so the turd just sits there rotting out of the water, floating around the bowl like it's lost at sea. Go big or go home.

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    I have been refreshing this thread hourly.

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    On the water.
    Posts
    2,089
    I slayed a throne a few months back at our Mexico office. This particular throne is across from the Presidents office. Needless to say the locals avoid using this one and use the one on the plant floor. Me, well my stomach is having a issues with the fresh salsa that I had with lunch. Gurrgle, blurp.... 'Oh shit'. I set a record High-mark...

    After this I was asked never to use that restroom again.
    Since then it's been a book you read in reverse, so you understand less as the pages turn.

    The things you find on the net.

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    215
    I just had a little encounter with the bathroom at my work place. It was one of those poops where you haven't gone in three days because of eating a ton of cheese. Anyway, i dropped a huge brisquette that immediately sank to the bottom leaving wonderful streaks and a horrible stench on its way. A courtesy flush would be useless for this.

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Outside the cube
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    6,953
    Quote Originally Posted by Grange
    This is quite common during Oktoberfest. It seems the main reason guy's let women ahead of them to use the stall even though they usually have to "piss like a race horse" is so they can watch the woman piss from the top of the stall often with camera in hand.
    This makes total sense b/c women touch themselves and all kinds of sexy stuff while they make pee-pee!

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  24. #49
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    9:22 AM MDT, work bathroom slay3d.

    why are Monday morning slayings so much better?
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    The Mall
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    The UPS guy just showed up and left a smoking crater in the office bathroom. Apparently when they say "heavy lifting" on the job description they ain't just talking about packages.

    What can brown do for you?

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