work bathrooms = SLAY3D

**BmillsSkier** · 08-11-2016, 09:29 AM

The office just got one of those Nespresso machines with the little pods in different colors and the blends all in Italian. I have no clue what's what.

Let me tell you, avoid the black pods. That shit resulted in a sudden onset of cramps and a very fast sprint to the bathroom. I'm still a little shaky.

**riser4** · 08-11-2016, 09:37 AM

Good work. 'Solid' work probably does not apply.

**mcski** · 08-11-2016, 12:15 PM

Just walked into the stench of super chunk bowl. Can't lay any blame tho, I work from home.

**SkiCougar** · 08-11-2016, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by mcski

Just walked into the stench of super chunk bowl. Can't lay any blame tho, I work from home.

just walk into, and quickly out of; one of those.

if I were a guy and something came out of me smelling like that; I wouldn't eat it anymore.

**riser4** · 08-13-2016, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by SkiCougar

just walk into, and quickly out of; one of those.

if I were a guy and something came out of me smelling like that; I wouldn't eat it anymore.

Pretty cool how the feces from the females of the species doesn't stink.

**BmillsSkier** · 11-29-2016, 01:48 PM

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've always been a very regular guy but this is starting to worry me.

I've taken 3 conference calls from the can this week so far. I can't stop shitting.

After killing massive amounts of bourbon and most of the good bacteria in my GI tract three days ago it's been the worst case of the shits I've ever had. I'm not even renting food anymore, it's just quickly borrowing it for a half hour or so.

Please help. Any remedies would be appreciated.

On the positive side, my abs haven't looked this flat since high school and I'm pretty sure I lost 5 pounds by doing nothing. I have to belt up my slimmest of jeans now, but that's another thread.

**::: :::** · 11-29-2016, 01:55 PM

this weekend at the hill, opening weekend, i hit the head to lose a little weight prior to skiing.
opened the stall door to find it completely decimated
someone's pre-season workouts had them in mid-season form on opening weekend...maybe your bourbon diet?

**BmillsSkier** · 11-29-2016, 02:35 PM

Normally I'm a huge proponent of the bourbon diet but I'm laying off for now. Who knows what actually caused this terrible fountain of sick but the last thing I remember was crapping like a normal man and drinking myself festive on the brown water.

It's like tequila with some people. Did it make you sick or was it the all you can eat seafood buffet at the Mexican joint with a C health dept rating? Probably the shellfish cooking under a heat lamp but that won't stop them from swearing off the Cuervo for a few weeks.

**fatnslow** · 11-29-2016, 04:00 PM

[QUOTE=BmillsSkier;4867840]I don't know what's wrong with me. I've always been a very regular guy but this is starting to worry me.

I've taken 3 conference calls from the can this week so far. I can't stop shitting.

After killing massive amounts of bourbon and most of the good bacteria in my GI tract three days ago it's been the worst case of the shits I've ever had. I'm not even renting food anymore, it's just quickly borrowing it for a half hour or so.

Please help. Any remedies would be appreciated.

On the positive side, my abs haven't looked this flat since high school and I'm pretty sure I lost 5 pounds by doing nothing. I have to belt up my slimmest of jeans now, but that's another thread.[/QUO

I've had a Mexican taxi driver tell me to drink few spoon fulls of knox gelatin or jello dissolved in water to plug up the old Montezuma's revenge.

**riser4** · 11-29-2016, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by fatnslow

I've had a Mexican taxi driver tell me to drink few spoon fulls of knox gelatin or jello dissolved in water to plug up the old Montezuma's revenge.

He didn't appreciate the brown puddles in the backseat of his taxi?

**BmillsSkier** · 07-26-2017, 08:35 PM

PSA: Nashville hot chicken for lunch is a bold choice.

**JayPowHound** · 07-26-2017, 08:44 PM

Lunch, eh?

How long did it last in the gut?

Most of my work bathroom demolitions seem to be from the night before, despite a good regular at home immediately after waking up.

I try to blame the coffee.. but its probably the booze / chinese food / coffee combo that does it.

Last week I was travelling around different sites in town. Demolished 3 bathrooms in 3 different buildings within a 6 hr work day.

**BmillsSkier** · 07-26-2017, 08:56 PM

Solid hour and a half.

Might be a new record.

**JayPowHound** · 07-26-2017, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Solid hour and a half.

Might be a new record.

May want to invest in some creme..

God I hope you weren't pushing / "bearing down" for that long.

The 'roids from that kinda session could persist for years..

Srsly. Gotta watch ur bunghole man.

Damage down there isn't easily healed.

Don't fuck around.

**Not Neil_Armstrong** · 07-27-2017, 08:22 AM

We have access to 3 bathrooms... each one is like it's used by a bunch of monkeys with poor diets that must hover poop with an anus like a Texture sprayer...

**mall walker** · 07-27-2017, 09:30 AM

Unfortunately in perhaps only this sense, I work from home... I currently cannot even walk past the bathroom without a sense of guilt for the chaos that I wrought there. It's been nearly an hour and the ghost of this dump still lingers...

**riser4** · 07-27-2017, 01:52 PM

Originally Posted by mbillie1

Unfortunately in perhaps only this sense, I work from home... I currently cannot even walk past the bathroom without a sense of guilt for the chaos that I wrought there. It's been nearly an hour and the ghost of this dump still lingers...

x2

**Eastern Sierra Skier** · 07-27-2017, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by eDub

As long as we are on the subject, I am hoping that someone can enlighten me as to a phenomenon that I have witnessed at every bathroom where I have worked for any length of time:

The poo sprayed RIM AND UNDERSEAT of the toilet. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

This is the scene: You walk into a stall and someone has "blown mud" up the back of the bowl and, somehow, right up to and under the seat. How is that possible?

Is, against all know laws of human physiology, their anus located in a nearly vertical position?

Are they blowing it out with such massive force that it deflects off of the water and changes trajectory from downward to a 45 degree angle toward the back of the bowl?

Is it dispersed in the middle of a flatulence episode so awesome that a tornadic event is created within the confines of the bowl that slings it to the underside of the seat?

Are they performing a hover maneuver over the bowl with the seat up and got "too far in the back seat"?

Seriously. The physics of it flummox me to this day. I mean, I was formerly a consumer of Tex-Mex on a daily basis and I have experienced fecal discharges that would bring toilet-cleaning Iraqi spider-cave dwellers to their knees. I have had flatulence episodes that made my eyes water, my nose run, and my sphincter bleed. I have shit green diarrhea while simultaneously vomiting yellow bile. But never, NEVER, have I blown shit in an upward direction.

If someone can shed some light on this seemingly paranormal occurence, I would be eternally grateful.

Classic! I'm sitting on a dead ass fire in the middle of the Nevada desert and just read your post to my crew. Thanks for a much needed laugh. Please post a follow up to your original post. Your descriptions had everyone fucking rolling. Good work!

**iceclimb** · 07-27-2017, 08:31 PM

So we moved to the Aspen are a few years ago, and there have been a number of times we have taken a walk through town in summer at dinner time. The first few times we did this I though it odd that often as we walked past the people eating at the outdoor open air seating they would often turn and look as we walked past. Not with a friendly welcoming smile, kind of a grimace... like WTF is that?

I pointed this out to my wife one day, and she said "oh yeah, I often crop dust them when we walk by"

I realized 2 things..... 1. They always thought it was me.

2. Never gonna leave this awesome woman.

**irul&ublo** · 07-27-2017, 09:27 PM

Nothing here described comes close to the slayage the Yankees will inflict on the Red Sox this year.

The stench will be ubiquitous.

**irul&ublo** · 07-27-2017, 09:28 PM

Ha ha chowds!!!!

**ncskier** · 07-28-2017, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

PSA: Nashville hot chicken for lunch is a bold choice.

Very Bold. Whenever I go to our Nashville office, it is strictly off limits if its a fly in the morning and leave evening trip. Otherwise, its game on with some foreign office slaying. I'm only there once a month so the ladies in our office can't really peg me as the destroyer of the can after some Hattie B's

**Danno** · 07-28-2017, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by iceclimb

So we moved to the Aspen are a few years ago, and there have been a number of times we have taken a walk through town in summer at dinner time. The first few times we did this I though it odd that often as we walked past the people eating at the outdoor open air seating they would often turn and look as we walked past. Not with a friendly welcoming smile, kind of a grimace... like WTF is that?

I pointed this out to my wife one day, and she said "oh yeah, I often crop dust them when we walk by"

I realized 2 things..... 1. They always thought it was me.

2. Never gonna leave this awesome woman.

That's beautiful.

**east or bust** · 07-28-2017, 04:10 PM

they turned the water off in my building mid shit today. I had no choice but to leave it there

**BmillsSkier** · 07-28-2017, 04:18 PM

After noticing this weeks work bathroom incident made it to the TGR week in review thread I believe I need to lend some clarity to my earlier post. The Nashville hot chicken stayed in my gut for all of 1.5 hours; that in itself is a new record as it's usually in and out in a fiery explosion. Dear Lord help me if I was on the pot for one and a half hours.

I guess what I'm saying is, thanks for your concern everyone. This place really is like a family