Weird stuff we do confessional

**Chris Knight** · 10-23-2007, 10:46 AM

I cannot walk by a drawer or cabinet door that is open without the overwhelming urge to close it immediately. It cannot wait, I must close it and restore order to the universe.

**Steven S. Dallas** · 10-23-2007, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by flabango

Out of all you crazy mofos there's gotta be a poo flinger in the house.

My last name is Puflinger, if that answers your question.

**Caucasian Asian** · 10-23-2007, 11:02 AM

In ancient China he would have been referred to as " Hu Flung Pu"

**Dr. Send** · 10-23-2007, 07:16 PM

I made a point of peeing into every drain in the house just before I moved out of my last house. The best one was the floor of the laundry room.

(Okay I guess that's not something I "do")

**schuss** · 10-23-2007, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by Chris Knight

I cannot walk by a drawer or cabinet door that is open without the overwhelming urge to close it immediately. It cannot wait, I must close it and restore order to the universe.

I do this one too. I also never set my alarm clock to the same time every day. I never order wings in anything divisible by 5. I will run and jump off of things, constantly.

**booner** · 10-23-2007, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Sublime

I pee in the laundry tub downstairs when I am feeling too lazy to walk up the damn stairs to the bathroom.

I also stand to wipe.

When I lived with my parents the litter box was in the same hallway as my bedroom (and about 15 feet from the bathroom) ...so, naturally, this is where I took a leak in the middle of the night. As far as weird things I do, I like to look at my junk in the mirror for at least 2 minutes before I get in the shower...and I make my girlfriend tweeze all the random hairs on my ears and back on a weekly basis. I also have a fascination with assholes, according to the GF.

**iceman** · 10-23-2007, 09:21 PM

Staring at your own junk for minutes at a time falls a little outside the realm of this thread. Seriously.

**Daywalker** · 10-23-2007, 10:23 PM

I like to hit deer with mauls.

**belgian** · 10-23-2007, 10:29 PM

I have a compulsion to pee in sinks of places I live/work/dine/shop. Generally I manage to refrain from peeing in restaurant and store sinks, but sometimes I can't. I then wash my hands in the sink I peed in thereby rinsing it out.

I haven't been caught yet and the levels of satisfaction I gain from it should be criminal.

**Dickeymotto** · 10-23-2007, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by meatdrink9

I too stand to wipe my ass and then after the auto flush at public restrooms kept firing on me before I could get my TP in the bowl I got to thinking maybe my standing to wipe isn't the norm. I really have no idea what is the norm and due to pre flush frustrations I now just crap in the sink.

Wait, are you guys talking about wiping your ass on the stall door or just standing to wipe with paper. Cause I wasn't wiping my ass on a metal door (despite what anybody says).

Meatdrink's Snowbasin bathroom slays are by far the worst

I can't fall asleep until at least 4:00 am, even when drunk.

When I wake up, its always two minutes before the alarm goes off and I sit and stare at it until it happens, then I race myself to shut it off as quickly as possible.

I do everything in 30 minute increments. Say I'm supposed to get up at 8:00 but its 8:05, I can't get myself up until 8:30, if I miss that 9:00 and so on.

I compulsively time myself at everything, the commute to work, showers, daily tasks, everything. Then when I do it again I have to at least match or better my time or it stresses me out.

Everything has to be in even numbers.

I absolutely have to wear sunglasses outside during the day or the light gives me a headache all day.

I'm a hunchback

Am I fucked up or what?

**gbarnum** · 10-23-2007, 11:34 PM

I recently had some dreams about peeing, and then realized mid dream- holy shit - I'm peeing whilst dreaming, and I might be peeing myself in bed. Then I wake up and realize that I've peed a little. This has happened about three times in 6 months.

**SuperChief** · 10-24-2007, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by gbarnum

I recently had some dreams about peeing, and then realized mid dream- holy shit - I'm peeing whilst dreaming, and I might be peeing myself in bed. Then I wake up and realize that I've peed a little. This has happened about three times in 6 months.

Incontinence, My dog does that, poor old girl, she tries to lick it up afterwords. usually my bad for not giving her an evening walk.

**TyWebb** · 10-24-2007, 02:54 PM

If I am lucky enough to find a new BIC pen, I will immediately use the cap to pick my ear wax. When I've throughly scraped the inside of my ear I will inevitably play with the cap until the thing (ear picker) breaks off. Then I'll instantly wish it hadn't, because my ears will start to itch again all of a sudden.

I also poop everytime I come home from anywhere. Doesn't matter If I've been gone for 12 hours or 20 minutes, the site of my house gets my bowels brewing.

**flyandski365** · 10-24-2007, 05:06 PM

I have to read for at least 20 minutes before I go to bed or I won't be able to fall asleep, doesn't matter if I'm completely exhausted, drunk, whatever.

As for toilet paper: it doesn't matter because the roll rack in the bathroom was destroyed some time ago.

The clip on a mechanical pencil or pen must face the direct opposite direction of where the pencil rests between my thumb and forefinger.

**Roo** · 10-24-2007, 05:19 PM

I get really angry with people who eat their food in supermarket checkout queues before they have paid for it.

Slobs.

**Superstar Punani** · 10-24-2007, 07:32 PM

I never ever sit on a toilet seat unless it's in my own house. I always squat.

...and while I'm at it, I pull my asscheeks apart when I shit. It reduces the number of times you have to wipe your ass.

I, too, stand up when I wipe.

If I know the surf will be insane and I will be out for hours, I drink as much liquid as I can so I get to piss in my wetsuit as much as possible.

If I'm eating burger and fries, my last bite of burger must coincide with my last piece of fry.

If I feel a zit that's poppable, I cannot function properly until I find a mirror and pop it. When I pop it, and the pus flies out and hits the mirror, that's my equivalent of a 3 foot blower powder day of zit-popping.

**snowsprite** · 10-24-2007, 08:07 PM

Wonder how many people will try some of the weird stuff in this thread. I mean-- the ass-cheeks hint from Punani: pure genius!

I too hate it when folks start eating their food in the supermarket line--I mean, puh-lease can't you wait until you get to the car? I don't appreciate watching you chew your cud while you're being rung up.

Of course, drinking while waiting in line at the liquor store is not rude or unorthodox. After all, I am going to *pay* for the stuff...sheesh!

Sprite

**iskipowder21** · 10-24-2007, 08:10 PM

99.9% of the time I fall asleep lying on my back with my knees bend towards up towards the sky and with my feet flat on my bed...I have never met or seen anyone else that does this and I cannot fall asleep with my legs flat...

**BushwackerinPA** · 10-24-2007, 08:55 PM

ok me

I bite my nails...my toe nails
I like to pick out my nose hairs
I am still obsessed with legos
I love to pick off dead skin of my body

**brice618** · 10-24-2007, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

If I feel a zit that's poppable, I cannot function properly until I find a mirror and pop it. When I pop it, and the pus flies out and hits the mirror, that's my equivalent of a 3 foot blower powder day of zit-popping.

I'm the same way... gah its so great when you get huuuuge one. Er, thats so odd.

**Tourette Dude** · 10-24-2007, 10:41 PM

I enjoy the vouyerisitic quality of reading about the fucked up things other people do

**stuckathuntermtn** · 10-24-2007, 11:20 PM

wow, OCD is really prolific.
I like to interrupt and talk a lot, but you knew that. Also, I clean my ears with blunt metal objects. This thread ties with "work bathrooms = slay3d" for funniest thread.
As for eating in the check out line, if I'm really thirsty, I'll open something from that fridge they have there before I've paid for it.
booner, your GF must really love you.

**bagtagley** · 10-25-2007, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by Superstar Punani

If I'm eating burger and fries, my last bite of burger must coincide with my last piece of fry.

Ah, the perfect bite. It's not just burgers and fries, it's every plated meal. Its planning begins at the first bite and involves serious consideration and strategy throughout the entire meal. Having the perfect bite ruined has begun the downfall of many a relationship for me. Luckily my wife is a fast learner.

I'll add another while I'm here. If the keys are in the ignition, I can't close the door without triple checking the locks and hitting the unlock button at least once. Anymore I just leave the door slightly ajar to save time.

**Provocyclist** · 10-25-2007, 11:18 AM

I cannot complete any command in AutoCAD and not hit the esc key at least 3 times.
I wipe 3 times; down, up, down.
I have to use 5 paper towels after I wash my hands.
The volume in the car cannot be an odd number, except 15 and 19. Plus, i skip over 20.
I cant park my car and leave the wheels crooked.
Pants always get folded in thirds.
I like touching textured things. Carpet samples, marble, 3Form, whatever.
When I eat, I have to finish one item before i move onto the next, i.e. potatoes, then turkey, then peas, etc. It doesnt matter what I start with tho.