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  1. #1
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    Post Unsmart Things Done

    Topic: Unsmart Things Done

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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 07:52 PM
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    Everyone post something stupid they've done in life, throwing gas onto the fire standing 6in away, potato guns, pryo technics you get the point lets see whos done the stupidist thing.
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    JR
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    posted February 22, 2002 07:58 PM
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    Okay, you start.
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    Posts: 420 | From: canada | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:01 PM
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    Well me and my dad were charging a air cond unit and there was a bunch of freon sittin there on the ground after it looked like frost so i poked it with my finger and got frostbite all over my finger tip, take it freon is -40
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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:07 PM
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    Your turn JR
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    redbomber84
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    Rate Member posted February 22, 2002 08:08 PM
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    theres a game i used to play with scissors, i'd stick my middle finger in between the blades and try to pull it out while i snipped with the scissors, at first i was good at it, i had it timed super good and i could go at it for about a minute, but then one day, my game was off and i ended up cutting about 3 cm's off my left middle finger, that sucked... i've got tons more
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    Posts: 16 | From: Eagle River Alaska USA | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    redbomber84
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    Rate Member posted February 22, 2002 08:14 PM
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    one time at a beach, we lit a fire and i stuck a plastic bottle in it, then poked it with a stick and got the flaming bottle stuck on it and i was waving it around and stuff while it was burning, then i noticed it started to drip burning plastic and i began to run my hand underneath the drip pulling it out just as the plastic landed on it, and like the situation with the scissors mentioned earlier, i thought it was about the timing, but i didn't realize the rate of plastics melting would accelerate and eventually i left my hand out too long and now i have a small scar on my palm the size of tic tac...
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    Posts: 16 | From: Eagle River Alaska USA | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    focus
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:14 PM
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    a unsmart thing done by you was skipping class obviously that was english that was unsmartly skipped.
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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 22, 2002 08:16 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by redbomber84:
    theres a game i used to play with scissors, i'd stick my middle finger in between the blades and try to pull it out while i snipped with the scissors, at first i was good at it, i had it timed super good and i could go at it for about a minute, but then one day, my game was off and i ended up cutting about 3 cm's off my left middle finger, that sucked... i've got tons more.
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    you aren't planning on breeding, are you?

    [This message has been edited by focus (edited 02-22-2002).]


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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:18 PM
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    Haha thats some good stuff bomber, focus was the english thing directed towards me or bomber?
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    redbomber84
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    Member # 1225

    Rate Member posted February 22, 2002 08:19 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by focus:
    you aren't planning on breeding, are you?
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    hey pal, that stuff happened a long time ago, i asure you i haven't done those things since


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    Posts: 16 | From: Eagle River Alaska USA | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    Dexter Rutecki
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:19 PM
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    I was actually going to post something, but I'm laughing too damn hard at redbomber. 'Like the situation with the scissors mentioned above'--man, I just can't stop laughing at that.
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    Posts: 1828 | From: New York, NY USA | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    focus
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:20 PM
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    i dunno...which one of you was the unsmartest?
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    focus
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    Member # 1283

    posted February 22, 2002 08:21 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by redbomber84:
    hey pal, that stuff happened a long time ago, i asure you i haven't done those things since
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    that IS some funny shit, in your defense...

    [This message has been edited by focus (edited 02-22-2002).]


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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:22 PM
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    Back in the day when I was around 12 yrs old we went into this hick hardware store which sold cattle fences not really know what i was messing with i turned on this fancy solar model i started messing with it and touched the bolts where you conect the wire to. Well a cattle fence is around 220 and i was maybe 100 110 lbs.
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    focus
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    Member # 1283

    posted February 22, 2002 08:28 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    Back in the day when I was around 12 yrs old we went into this hick hardware store which sold cattle fences not really know what i was messing with i turned on this fancy solar model i started messing with it and touched the bolts where you conect the wire to. Well a cattle fence is around 220 and i was maybe 100 110 lbs.
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    slightly off-topic:

    reminds me of a dog i had... we'd set up a fenced in enclosure that ran off our back porch for our dogs. one of them kept digging his way out under the fence so we strung up an electric one. anywho, one day the dog pissed on the fence and...well... from that day forward he would not venture off the back porch -- we eventually got tired of cleaning dog shit off the doorstep and got rid of him. (he'd had other problems too...possibly directly resulting from the piss-fence incident.)


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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:28 PM
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    So is this battle going to be between me and bomber? Are we going to get any competition
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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:32 PM
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    OMG focus thats the funniest sh!t i've heard all day.
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    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 22, 2002 08:33 PM
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    once i determined whether or not the cigarette lighter worked on one of our cars by activating it and then pressing it to my thumb.... i bear the scar to this day. i can still smell the burning flesh.....
    i've done dozens of stupid-ass things...but none of them make very good stories.


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    The Village Idiot
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    Member # 3219

    posted February 22, 2002 08:38 PM
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    Nice just like the freon that stung like a mofo
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    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 22, 2002 08:43 PM
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    the stupidest thing i ever done was when i was 10. i had an obsession with guns but my parents wouldn't let my get one. so i stole some bullits from a store and made my own gun. after i built it i went squirl hunting. i found a sqirl, pulled back the hammer, released and the whole fu ckin thing blew up in my face. my ear was deaf for a weak and i had second degree burns all over my face.
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    focus
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:48 PM
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    bullEts
    squirrel

    week

    c'mon...these are key words of the english language...particularly 'squirrel'.


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    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 22, 2002 08:50 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by focus:
    bullEts
    squirrel

    week

    c'mon...these are key words of the english language...particularly 'squirrel'.


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    what can i say? my spelling always sucked.


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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:50 PM
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    I built a small catapult about a foot and a half long x foot high well me and by freind got the bright idea to shoot flaming balls outta it. Well we've put thought into this thing and rigged it to shoot roughy 70 ft. They wouldnt stay lit so we busted out with the starting fluid we started coating these puppies with it my grass kept catching fire and it wouldnt go out my freind caught his foot on fire. I got hit with a flaming ball and almost caught my hand on fire.
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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 08:51 PM
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    Dam homefry that sounds pretty serious
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    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 22, 2002 08:57 PM
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    me and my friends shot arrows like 500 feet in the air straight up. we'd lay somewhere flat on our stomachs. i'd say once outta every 200 times one of us would end up with an arrow in our backs. we also had cowboy versus indian wars in other words bb guns versus 20 lbs pull bows. we were always in the emergency room
    [This message has been edited by homefrie (edited 02-22-2002).]

  2. #2
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    homefrie
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:04 PM
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    once i saw a movie where a robot pluged into something and got super charged. so i grabbed 2 forks and stuck em right into a toaster. it was a shocking experience. now that i think about it i was a dumb kid.
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    homefrie
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:06 PM
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    somebody help me ever since i saw this thread tousands of memories exploded into my brain
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    frozenwater
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:13 PM
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    you HAVE a brain???? Dear Ullr, that is some seriously stupid shit you are pulling.
    I decided it would be a good idea to steal my neighbors playboy and visa card. I ordered every damn video that was offered in the back of the magazine.

    Luckily I was only 14 at the time, but I had a juvenile record there for a while.


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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:26 PM
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    Homefry your beating all of us jeeze you were the hellion of the block, the reason moms wont let kids have bows bb guns. Any more stories guys?
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    frozenwater
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:33 PM
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    I was 8 and sitting on my best friends back porch. He had a bb gun and we were trying to pick of one of the thousands of sparrows that were in the old windows backyard next door.
    Every time we shot those birds would all take off then fly right back, but we didn't think we were hitting any of them.

    About a good hour into this we hear the old widow just a screaming. We run over to the wooden fence seperating the yards and peep through a knot hole to see what she is screamng about.

    Her entire back yard was littered with what seemed to be hundreds of dead sparrows. I remember feeling so bad thought I was going to hell for sure.


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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 22, 2002 09:36 PM
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    haha frozen reminds me of a time me and my dad were picking off pigions right off the line. This lady behind us was feeding them me and my dad took turn pluckin them off the line must of gotten 7 or 8 of them before they got smart and flew away.
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    JR
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    posted February 22, 2002 10:44 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    Your turn JR
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    There are so many, I'll have to think about it and get back to you.


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    Posts: 420 | From: canada | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    shniggens
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    posted February 23, 2002 05:50 AM
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    I smoked dope in a mormon hotel.
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    Posts: 299 | From: Denvoid | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

    BamBam
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    Rate Member posted February 23, 2002 06:05 AM
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    Back in early highschool in a physics class we were doing the "see what materials conduct electricity" experiment with a big AC/DC lab pack plugged in as the power source. We went though all the stuff they'd given us to try, then they told us to try other stuff we had lying around - pencils, pens, clothing etc. I had double train-track braces back then, and I suggest to my friends linking it up to them. The connectors were crocodile clips, so they clipped right onto the upper wire at each side of my mouth. Experiment a success: the lightbulb lit up, but after a few seconds with my mouth open, the saliva started flowing, my mouth started buzzing and the wire was getting quite hot and my teeth and gums were starting to burn. I franticly tried to release the crocodile clips, but couldn't manage it. Luckily my friend thought to pull the other end of the wires out of the power supply. Good thing we had set the power at a relatively low voltage.
    Another time when camping, there was an empty can that had been thrown in the fire and was smoldering - I spat on it and it sizzled. So then I decided to see what would happen if I licked it. I couldn't taste anything for a week or two after that.

    --
    LC.


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    Posts: 247 | From: Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 06:54 AM
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    i wasn't planning on telling you this but its just too funny. when i was a kid i loved watching dukes of hazard. i remember i had a crush on daisy. anyway i thought it was so cool how they jumped that dodge charger. so when my parents were out me and a friend built a huge car jump. then we took out my dads buik lasabre. we where goin at the jump doin about 40 we hit the side of the jump cause a couldn't see over the stearing wheel. we ended up rolling over and slid like 200 feet on the roof. we went strait into the neighbors garage. we did like 30,000 dollars of damage and my friend couldn't come to my house anymore. oh yeah focus you don't need to tell me i'm stuipid because that was a long time ago. i've grown much wiser.
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    focus
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:02 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    oh yeah focus you don't need to tell me i'm stuipid because that was a long time ago. i've grown much wiser.
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    dooood...you're stupid....

    i remember my first time on a real snowmobile (not a kittykat) when i was like 11 or so. i was doin laps around our yard. anyhow, i come to a corner and it's either turn or hit the shed. well, i turn the handlebars but for some reason the snowmobile didn't turn, so i hit the brake on the left handlebar but for some reason nailed the gas too... surprisingly, i didn't do too much damage.....


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    Buster Highmen
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:57 AM
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    Unsmart things, oh gawd, I have so many to choose from.
    One that occurs to me is the time I was at Snowbird, skiing GadII in a storm. I had dosed and smoked a bunch of funky soakweed and was having just a great time. There's a gulley at the base of the steep stuff to the viewers left of the GadII chair, and I was hitting it. But this time, man, like wow, I was _reeeelly_ going to go BIG. So I hit the roller above it just wailing, cleared the whole gulley and packed into the other side. When I woke up, my skis were stuck into the far side up past my boots and I was dangling down in between them. I spit and a bunch of blood and tooth chunks came out. I had bitten through my tongue which was swollen and I couldn't really talk. A friend was below me in the gulley yelling at me. And all eyes from the chairlift gawked at me, dead silent. I couldn't read for days.
    [This message has been edited by Buster Highmen (edited 02-23-2002).]


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    Posts: 2079 | From: Redmond, WA 98014 | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

    Owens Never Sleeps
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    posted February 23, 2002 11:03 AM
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    OK - my stupidest is actually a sick chain of stupid decisions.
    When I was 14 my parents had a big party at the house. My friends and I proceded to steal tons of booze. At about 1:30 am after everyone was asleep, I lifted my moms keys and took out her Lincoln Mark VII. (At that time, - my moms pride and joy. The first car she'd ever bought on her own.) I went a block away and picked up my best friend and his brother. I let his brother drive around town while my friend and I sat in the back seat and just got friggin WASTED. About 3:00 AM we returned to my friends house (1/2 block away from mine). They get out and I take the wheel. All I had to do is make it around the block.

    At the corner, I remember thinking "I wonder how fast this thing will go" -- And I punched it. Sometime fairly immediately after hitting the gas, I momentarily lost conciousness - blotto drunk space out. I woke up after about four blocks and I was doing nearly 100 mph. I hit the brakes hard, and thought I was going to make a turn. I ended up bouncing off a truck, hitting a boat trailer, went between a telphone pole and the guy wire coming down, went through some 50 year old hedges and went into the lower living room of a house. SMASH!

    I promptly threw the car into reverse and backed out through all of the holes I had made. I got a block away and got out of the car. All I could remember was seeing the hedges flash past and I was thinking -- "God, I hope those things didn't fu(k up the paint job" I looked. The passenger side of the car was peeled back like a sardine can.

    I a panic, I drove back to my friends house and knocked on his window. "Whats up?", he says. "I just wrecked the car", I say. "Bullshit", he says "You've only been gone 3 minutes."

    He comes out and looks. "Oh shit! Your dad is going to kill you!" I'm so terrified I can't speak. He looks at me. "Go home. Park the car in the driveway, wake up your folks and tell them what you did. It's time to take your beating."

    I didn't like that idea at all. Low and behold, another friend that at that time, I didn't know that well comes ambling down the street. (3 am here) He looks at the car and says. "Oh shit Chris, What are your parents going to do?". "They're going to beat me until I'm dead." I say. He thinks about this for a minute and says "If that's true, then you can't tell them. I've got a plan." I didn't know what his plan was, but I was liking this idea much better already.

    He says "Hotwire the car, take it out and ditch it, beat the shit out of it, and make it look like it was stolen. I've got the tools you need and I can show you how to do what you need to do!" All that can come out of my drunken terrified mouth is "GREAT IDEA!" My other friend says "Oh shit. I'm leaving".

    So I follow this guy to his house and he provides me with a screwdriver, a hammer, a cloth for wiping fingerprints and he explains how to pop the ignition. He sends me on my way.

    I proceed to take the car about five miles away a jump it from a motocross jump into a swamp. I beat the shit out of the car (I did about 12 grand worth of damage just trashing it.), popped the ignition, and wiped the car down for fingerprints using my friggin tongue for moisture -- yes, I LICKED the entire inside of the car. I then ran/ stumbled the five miles home, dropped the keys back in my moms purse and passed out in bed.

    I woke up to hear "MY CAR IS GONE!"
    "Uh, where did it go mom?"
    "It's been stolen!"
    "Oh my gosh! Who would do such a thing?"

    Well the cops investigated and found the car within a day. It looked like whoever stole it pretty much knew what they were doing so they determined that it was done by some kind of pro. My dad was a union buster labor attorney and they thought that it coulds be some type of threat regarding a case he was trying against the teamsters.

    I was able to keep my shit together for about three weeks but the guilt was killing me. My folks were pretty scared. After a while they noticed I was acting funny, and figured I knew something. They started blaming my friends. I finally came clean. As I tensed for my beating, they both just started to cry. "You did this because you HATE us!".

    Oh shit. No, no, no. Don't do that. Please - Couldn't you just beat me? Please? The beating never came.

    It took me five years to pay off all of the damage and I couldn't get my license until I was almost 18. At the age of 14, I had 37 points on my driving record and I didn't even have a license. I got a recless driving, leaving the scene, excessive speed, driving without a license, and a couple of others.

    THATS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.

    [This message has been edited by Owens Never Sleeps (edited 02-23-2002).]


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    Posts: 411 | From: Anchorage, Alaska, USA | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 11:13 AM
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    oh my goodnes mr. neversleeps. i always thought i was the dumbest kid ever. i can't beleive you turned yourself in.
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    Owens Never Sleeps
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    posted February 23, 2002 11:21 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    oh my goodnes mr. neversleeps. i always thought i was the dumbest kid ever. i can't beleive you turned yourself in.
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    No, I was the dumbest kid alive. It was either turn myself in or let my friends take the heat.

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    Posts: 411 | From: Anchorage, Alaska, USA | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 11:26 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by Owens Never Sleeps:
    No, I was the dumbest kid alive. It was either turn myself in or let my friends take the heat.


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    yea i guess it is better to be grounded for a while rather than having your friends banned from the house


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    Dexter Rutecki
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    posted February 23, 2002 02:12 PM
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    Owens, you might be in the lead.
    Now I feel like I'll have to make something up just to qualify. I think I did plenty of stupid things, but just got lucky and never had such bad results.
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    Posts: 1829 | From: New York, NY USA | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    Brad Hamilton
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    posted February 23, 2002 02:24 PM
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    The dumbest thing I ever did was forget to lock the door when I was whacking off, and Linda busted me.
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    Posts: 2 | From: Ridgemont High | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged

    shniggens
    Member
    Member # 1088

    posted February 23, 2002 02:25 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by Brad Hamilton:
    The dumbest thing I ever did was forget to lock the door when I was whacking off, and Linda busted me.
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    Yeah, that was pretty fu(kin "unsmart", but I think George Castanza has got you "beat".

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    Posts: 299 | From: Denvoid | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 02:32 PM
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    Ownens that takes it all, that put everyone to shame. That was the stupdiest thing done by any of us.
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    PO'B
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    posted February 23, 2002 03:07 PM
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    I don't think the internet is large enough for me to list all the stoopid things I've done.
    Here is a recent one:
    This summer I was golfing. We drove the cart up to the eighteenth green, stopped and jump out to walk up to the green. I was in a hurry cuz I hit a decent shot and wanted to run up there and gloat about it.
    Problem was that I stopped the cart on what was a pretty steep incline. I hear one of my friends scream, "OH SHIT!" As we all turn around, we see my golf cart speeding down the trail heading for a 200+ ft hill. We all take chase but to no avail. The cart goes over the edge and out of view. All we can see are huge clumps of cattails and shrubs being thrown in the air. The thing plows into the river below with only the roof still above water.
    To add insult. The river was just below the deck of the clubhouse where there were 400 wedding attendees outside enjoying their cocktails.

    Took us about 3 hrs. to recover the cart with a constant drunken heckling from the wedding party.


    Oh, also I ran over my prom dates brand new puppy when I went to pick her up. I went to the dance alone.

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    The Village Idiot
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    Member # 3219

    posted February 23, 2002 03:49 PM
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    You ran over her puppy!! Poor thing, but that must have sucked bad both ways your outta a date plus she spent all that money gettin ready to go.
    Golf carts are fun a freind of mine was doing donuts in one, well the dum ass ran it into a retaining wall. He took flight with golf clubs but they caught him he had to work all summer at the course to pay them off.

    So far we got: finger tips getting cut off, burns mostly plasic, people getting zapped by high power fences science experaments, the winner for seroiusness owen who trashed his parents car. Getting hit with arrows and bb guns, shooting birds mostly sparrows and pigeons ducks anything else i think were missing bombs anyone make one?


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    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 04:03 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:

    anything else i think were missing bombs anyone make one?
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    yea i made a bomb. the grass in our yard was really dry. after my bomb went off it caught most of the yard and my dirt bike on fire. i've decided dumb shit builds charactor


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    The Village Idiot
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    Member # 3219

    posted February 23, 2002 04:14 PM
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    Yeah I think it does too. Hey anyone ever hear about making naplam out of bannanas? I heard since there so hign in potassium that you just mix them with gas or oil. Then its light and fling.
    Note: I am not a terrorist.


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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:30 PM
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    Damn,
    [This message has been edited by iceman (edited 02-23-2002).]

  3. #3
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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:30 PM
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    what
    [This message has been edited by iceman (edited 02-23-2002).]


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:30 PM
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    the
    [This message has been edited by iceman (edited 02-23-2002).]


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:35 PM
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    hell?
    [This message has been edited by iceman (edited 02-23-2002).]


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:45 PM
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    Aaiiight. I got a whole bunch, this one leaps to mind. I spent a summer on Long Island, in Huntington. Hooked up with a little hotty, all was good except for her ex, who was the local chapter head of the Pagans.
    I'm about twenty at the time. At a party at my girl's best friend's house, I'm just groovin', but also gettin' a little ticked at my girl, who's a bit standoffish. Found out later the ex had threatened to kill her if she kept seeing me, but I didn't know that at the time.
    Anyways, I put some tunes on, and somebody turned it down. I turned it back up. Somebody turned it back down. I was gettin' pissed. I stomp into the room, turn it back up, my girlfriend yells at me that the neighbors are complaining, and, well, that's enough for me. I split. Jump into the 1970 Pontiac Catalina Safari Wagon with the 455, and punch it. Oh yeah, it had just started to rain.
    I get about a mile down the road, a little suburban two-lane, and there's a sharp corner. Turn the wheel, go straight. Hit the brakes, don't even slow down. Hit a phone pole at about 50. Took out two 13,000 volt lines, one 26,000 volt line, the main trunk of the phone, and the main trunk of cable TV. Knocked out power (no shit) for 30,000 people. So I'm sitting in the car, in total darkness, and a transformer blows up about fifty feet away. Big blue flash, fire. Then another, and another, maybe thirty seconds apart. Wires on the car, fire on the poles, pitch friggin' black out between explosions. I open the glove, grab my registration and a screwdriver, figuring my only hope was to take my plates and go. Jump out of the car despite the wires all over it, start trying to get my plates, when a car comes around the corner. Better instincts took over, I rushed to warn the people to avoid the wires, after that it was wait for the cops.
    Somehow, at three o'clock on a Saturday morning, the cops never brought up the topic of alcohol. On the other hand, adrenaline had made me a very straight person by then. Final tally: 30,000 people without power. Over 100 business alarms set off by power surge then blackout. Well over $150,000 paid by my insurance to LILCO. (Even the hospital they insisted on taking me to was on generator power). Four stitches in the back of my head, three in my lower lip. Car totaled.
    On the bright side, I drank off it the rest of the summer. "Hey, man, were you in here about three o'clock last saturday when there was a blackout? That was me, dude."
    The above is gospel truth.

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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    JR
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    posted February 23, 2002 07:54 PM
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    That's a good one Ice.
    One of many for myself. A few years back (not that many) I was renovating a house and adding a bathroom in an unused portion of the second floor of a house here in town. The floor joists were really uneven so I cut these tapered bits of wood that went from 0" to whatever. They were mighty thin in spots so nails wouldn't hold them. I decided to use construction adhesive and gunned it out and lightly nailed the shims in place as I went along. It took forever and when I was done I stood up and thought, "man you're good, what a beautiful job" and promptly stepped onto one of the joists which sent my feet up into the air as fast as stepping on a snotted leaf. When my ass camed down it landed right between the joists and before I knew it I was on the next floor down covered in a bunch of dust, lathe and plaster with a very stunned looking homeowner standing there looking at me in disbelief. I had managed to knock down all the lathe and plaster in the hallway and part of the kitchen. I was amazingly unhurt, except for the bruised ego.


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    Posts: 420 | From: canada | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 07:59 PM
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    frozenwater has my vote for most unsmart thing done. i'm starten to like this thread it makes me feel smart.
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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:07 PM
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    heh, JR, I used to work construction sometimes, that's a nice one. I never actually fell through, but did put a foot through once. My best construction one was stapling my index finger to the wall with one of those staple hammers. That really hurt.
    My brother's best one was pulling down most of an addition we had just framed by somehow hooking the corner of it with the rear bumper of a truck.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 08:12 PM
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    does any body want to hear more of my stories or should i stop now?
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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:16 PM
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    Keep going, you're one of the best dumbasses I know of.
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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    JR
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:16 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by iceman:
    My brother's best one was pulling down most of an addition we had just framed by somehow hooking the corner of it with the rear bumper of a truck.
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    Doohh! There really is nothing you can say to a homeowner at a time like that.


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    Posts: 420 | From: canada | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:42 PM
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    Yea keep goin home, i got something to add just tonight i tried to make naplam with a freind of mine well it didnt work so we just ended up putting a bunch of stuff in a taco bell up cup mostly paint thinner oil and aceatone. well it wasnt burning fast enough for my dum ass freind so it tipped it over with a broom we brought just in case we caight something on fire, were not complete retards, well the whole broom caught fire and he started waving it in the air i sat there laughing my ass off at him well the fire spread to the neighbors backyard. He hopped the fecne and i ran inside to grab a pitcher of water that was in the sink. we put it out but he burnt some of his grass and his neighbors.
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    frozenwater
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:49 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    [B]frozenwater has my vote for most unsmart thing done. B]
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    Bzzzt. We've got fools shooting thier own back with arrows, trashed parents cars (nice owens ), 30,000 people without electricity and I shot some damn birds. I am loosing this particular stupidity contest.

    Here's one:

    My sisters boyfriend had this pontiac fiero that he thought was the shit. He was always tearing it up and down are street and pissing off the neighbors.

    So he comes tearing up the street and leaves it idiling in the driveway as he goes inside for my sister.
    I'm out front shooting hoops and decide to check out the car. I open the door and while standing there just inside the car I start pushin buttons and pullin knobs.

    I'm only 14 so I don't know what I'm doing. I start pushing the gas pedal to make the engine rev and think that is pretty cool. Then think it would be funny to leave it idiling really high so he will be all pissed when he returns to the car. I accomplish this by putting the floor mat on the gas pedal and kind of wedging it down between the brake pedal.

    Well I want to clear out before he see's me so I get out real quick. Somehow I knock the stick shift into reverse on the way out though.

    This fiero just fu<kin takes off out of the driveway. It drags me into the street where I fell the rest of the way out. It peels out across the rest of the road and jumps the curb.
    It glances of a tree and rips off the door that I just fell out of. Careens into the side of the neighbors rv scratching the hell out of both vehicles and finally comes to a rest afte it knocks off the neighbors main gas line into his house. Somehow the gas meter got jamed under the cars drive wheel off the ground.

    All the neighbors come running, swearing they are going to kill this kid. Talking about how it could have killed someone. Then they spot me.

    "Oh my god the car hit frozen!!" They all rush over and are checking me out. I'm pretty fu<ked up from the dragging so I look like I've been hit. Boyfriend comes out and everyone freaks on him.
    Cops come and figure the boyfriend somehow was to blame after the neighbors condemn him.

    It was really hard to not confess when he apoligized to me for the car hitting me. But, and ownes there is a lesson here, I DID NOT CONFESS. To this day that fiero just took off on its own.

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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:52 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by JR:
    Doohh! There really is nothing you can say to a homeowner at a time like that.
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    Forunately the homeowner wasn't there. My boss told him that he had discovered that the lumber was substandard, and we had to disassemble it to return it. A stroke of genius, I think. It worked, at least. If the homeowner had asked what was substandard about it, that would have been a problem.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 08:56 PM
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    jeeze frozen yal got me beat. i'm gonna have to ask my mom if she remembers anything stupid i did.
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    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:57 PM
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    Am still young so i got plenty time to screw up.
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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:58 PM
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    Frozen, way to stay the course!
    You've got the makings of a real derelict in you, boy. You just need to focus.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    scoober
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    posted February 23, 2002 08:59 PM
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    no one got hurt, and the property damage was to a minimum, but this is one of the dumber things ive done.
    i worked at my towns street and parks department during college summers. my third or so summer there, we were mowing the park in town. i was on a scag stand behind 48" mower, and a buddy of mine, who had just started that year, was on the bottom of the totem pole, and got the shitty job of weedwhacking the grass on all the parts which were too steep to mow. so i felt for him, and i figured id actually try to mow one of the larger steep spots. the reason these spots are so steep, is because they are on a river bank, and as i was mowing i found out that, yes, these banks are to steep to mow. i promptly slid down the bank, and put the mower right in the river. a 48" mower is definitely too heavy to be able to pull out of a river, and although it was right on the edge, the engine was submerged so it would not start, therefore i couldnt back it out under power. soooo, we had to go get the backhoe and some chains to lift the sob out. thing is, the park we were mowing had just been re-seeded because the annual carnival traffic the week before had wiped out all the grass. the backhoe almost got stuck in the wet turf, and although we got the mower out, and it was mechanically ok, we left nice 1.5 ft backhoe tracks in the park lawn. that was a bitch to fix.

    oh, and everyone knows that all you need to make napalm is to dissolve styrofoam in gas.

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    Posts: 218 | From: SEA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:04 PM
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    Speaking of tractors, we have a little one only 9 horsepower. It was cranked up all the way, i thought i was in reverse and drove it right through the shed wall. I left a huge hole in the wall.
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    frozenwater
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:05 PM
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    be right back, I've got to go get some styrofoam...
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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 09:08 PM
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    i can't believe i didn't remember this until my mom just told me. ok we were playin baseball in p.e. and i couldn't hit the ball. so a kid called me a girl. so i walk up to him and say "imay not beable to hit the ball but i sure as hell can hit your face. so i started beatin the phuck outta him with a bat. i fractured his jaw. then the teacher comes and i started beatin him it took the entire class to restrain me. now i was sittn in the office and relized just how screwed i was. so i threw a paper weight right at the principals face and ran like hell. after i cried in the woods for a while i turned myself in to the police. i was found guilty of like 20 charges. i had probation for 2 years thats it i got off way easy
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    focus
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:10 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    i can't believe i didn't remember this until my mom just told me. ok we were playin baseball in p.e. and i couldn't hit the ball. so a kid called me a girl. so i walk up to him and say "imay not beable to hit the ball but i sure as hell can hit your face. so i started beatin the phuck outta him with a bat. i fractured his jaw. then the teacher comes and i started beatin him it took the entire class to restrain me. now i was sittn in the office and relized just how screwed i was. so i threw a paper weight right at the principals face and ran like hell. after i cried in the woods for a while i turned myself in to the police. i was found guilty of like 20 charges. i had probation for 2 years thats it i got off way easy
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    doooood..........


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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:15 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    i can't believe i didn't remember this until my mom just told me. ok we were playin baseball in p.e. and i couldn't hit the ball. so a kid called me a girl. so i walk up to him and say "imay not beable to hit the ball but i sure as hell can hit your face. so i started beatin the phuck outta him with a bat. i fractured his jaw. then the teacher comes and i started beatin him it took the entire class to restrain me. now i was sittn in the office and relized just how screwed i was. so i threw a paper weight right at the principals face and ran like hell. after i cried in the woods for a while i turned myself in to the police. i was found guilty of like 20 charges. i had probation for 2 years thats it i got off way easy
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    Man, I'm pissed. Here all the time I thought there was someone stupider than me in the world, and it turns out he's just a troll. Bummer.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 09:20 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by iceman:
    Man, I'm pissed. Here all the time I thought there was someone stupider than me in the world, and it turns out he's just a troll. Bummer.
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    dude, i don't comprehend please explain in a simpler form


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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:27 PM
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    heh. Exactly, my dumbass friend, exactly.
    Special bonus: Identify the sentence fragment above and receive a special bonus something.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 23, 2002 09:31 PM
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    what are you saying? are you implying that he's....*gasp*...not stupid????? bite your tongue!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    PG 4

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 23, 2002 09:33 PM
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    dudes i'm not followin
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    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:38 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    dudes i'm not followin
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    That's pure genius!

    I hope.


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:39 PM
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    Ice thats my fragment, yes my freind wasnt smart it was burning slowly kind of like a torch. He tipped he over and caught everything on fire.But i get your point we are both dum asses for doing it.
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    focus
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:41 PM
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    and from out of left field........
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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:41 PM
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    Tag team trolls?


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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:43 PM
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    I think am lost.......... on to more stupid things done.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
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    posted February 23, 2002 09:59 PM
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    Omg i almost forgot woodshop thats the best one yet. My other freind wa shooting a nail gun he held the thing back and shot it across at some lockers. It was some funny stuff.
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    Great Cornholio
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    posted February 24, 2002 08:56 AM
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    My cousin and I used to tape BBs to the bottom of shotgun shells-- bigger the better. Then we'd throw them up in the air, and the BB would weight shell so it would land on the BB, and the shell would go off. Of course, you had to throw the things pretty much straight up, or they wouldn't land right.
    "Seemed like a good idea at the time..."


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    Posts: 1083 | From: cle-dfw-scl-heaven | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Great Cornholio
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    posted February 24, 2002 09:05 AM
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    Oh yeah. I used to work in a sail loft, making sails for all sorts of boats. We had enormous sewing machines... all pneumatic, and designed to punch a needle through as much as 3/8 inches of layered dacron.
    Needless to say, the bone in the end of my thumb was no problem for it.


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    Posts: 1083 | From: cle-dfw-scl-heaven | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    BooYaa13
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    posted February 24, 2002 09:59 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by Great Cornholio:
    Needless to say, the bone in the end of my thumb was no problem for it.
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    OWWWWWWWWWWWW.


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    Posts: 458 | From: Plymouth, MI USA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 24, 2002 10:11 AM
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    another story of stupidity
    by
    homefrie
    MY dad was a general contractor. so one day i went to the construction site with him. and let me tell ya homfrie + construction site = bad. there was this huge pile of boards about 10 feet high 30 feet long. there was a table in front of the stack. so i came up with the bright idea to climb the pile of wood. when i reach the summit of the stack the whole thing came crashing down. remember the table well the legs went throught the floor. it saved my life. despite being saved i bruised my ribs and dislocated my shoulder.


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    Geoff
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    posted February 24, 2002 10:33 AM
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    If anyone happens to meet homefrie in person, I highly recommend that you keep your distance.
    He is way overdue for sir Darwin to kick his ass right out of the gene pool, and I'd be afraid that he may take out any spectators on the way down.

    That is all.


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    Posts: 152 | From: Ta-hoe | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    AkLuke
    Junior Member
    Member # 2293

    Rate Member posted February 24, 2002 10:57 AM
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    The year I was 16 I decided that it would be a good idea to take my truck out to the local gravel pits and do a little 4x4. Finaly I find a nice shallow water hole to drive through, and then pretty soon I find another water hole. The second turned out to be just a little deeper though. As I go in I can tell I'm getting in trouble, the water is coming up fast so I hit the gas. After punching it, I hit a trench in the bottem of the minature lake and my truck stops. By that point there is way to much water in the engine of my 83 F-250, so I am going nowhere. I slide open the back window, and the 4 people in my cab climb out, totaly surronded by water. I finaly was able to winch it out the next day. Drainded the oil and water, and somehow did not damage to my engine.
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    Posts: 0 | From: Anchorage/ Greeley | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    BooYaa13
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    posted February 24, 2002 11:42 AM
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    White knuckle drunk winter e-braking @ 90+ MPH on rural UP highways in a blue Dodge Neon. 3 passengers aside from the driver & the braker, all of us eggin' each other on.
    The bad news -- I'm back on painkillers after the centrifugal g-forces on my broken arm.
    The good news -- I'm breathing & will not need surgery.

    It was stupid, crazy, and irresponsible as hell. Never again.


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    Posts: 458 | From: Plymouth, MI USA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
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    posted February 24, 2002 05:01 PM
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    Any more un smart things done?
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    BooYaa13
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    posted February 24, 2002 05:45 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    Any more un smart things done?
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    I did yer girlfriend this morning.

    She kept saying "UHHHH" over and over again. I think she' un-smart -- borderline 'tarded. I dunno.


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    Posts: 458 | From: Plymouth, MI USA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
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    posted February 24, 2002 05:46 PM
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    she just died i think am going to cry
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    acostiga
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    posted February 25, 2002 07:35 AM
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    dumb thing #1- this goes way back to the old school. pre-kindergarten. wanted to impress my parents, so i "painted" their car for them with something from a canister in the garage. turns out i painted the car with paint remover. i'm told it was funny.
    dumb thing #2- my first pair of nike air shoes. wanted to pop the air unit in the heel, so i put a golf tee upside down and stomped on it. i was very young and not aware of the impending pain. the tee shot through the shoe and up into my foot... was told that there's still a piece floating around in there. i still remember my dad trying to pull the pieces out of my bloody foot. i'm dumb.

    could probably continue that list until quadruple digits. the scary thing is that the list isn't complete yet...


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    Posts: 110 | From: the steeler nation | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    ulty_guy
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    posted February 25, 2002 07:44 AM
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    edit- nevermind, it was a buzzkill on a funny thread.
    [This message has been edited by ulty_guy (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 662 | From: the big smoke | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Dexter Rutecki
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    posted February 25, 2002 08:07 AM
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    Unsmart thing done?
    I registered on this board and haven't been able to pull myself away. I think I share this unsmart thing with a few others around here.
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    Posts: 1829 | From: New York, NY USA | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    iceman
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    posted February 25, 2002 08:10 AM
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    Whachoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?
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    Posts: 486 | From: germantown,MD,USA.. Ski Central | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    beaver
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    Member # 1272

    posted February 25, 2002 09:11 AM
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    One afternoon after the ski hill closed I decided to take my luge sled for a blast on the ski hill cause it was nice and hard and icy. So I walked to the top of the t-bar and point it straight down. When I got to about mid station (bottom of the steep) I thought "time to try to get this speed under control." Just as I was thinking that I hit a roller and launched. My feet were going up up up, kinda like an indy car getting air under the front spoiler, and I think "I'm ****ed." There was a great relief when the back of my sled hit the snow. I was just thinking to myself that I had pulled through the worst when I hit a second roller that I had never noticed going really fast on skis. this time I was ****ed, the first point of contact was the back of my helmet hitting the ice. The next thing I remember I was rolling to my feet and chasing my demolished sled so I could grab it before it went through the lodge. some friends that were walking up the hill to go from midway said I came into view about 6' in the air as my feet started to rise. they said I flew about 100' with about another 100' of rag dolling after impact. I lost my periferal vision for about 6 hours from the concussion.
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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
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    posted February 25, 2002 09:15 AM
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    Working at the ski hill slashing and burning to widen a run one summer. I lit the forest on fire. the dead burn trees stood for a couple years before they decided to cut then down. every time I rode the paradise lift I went by this triangle of trees right beside the lift line that I had killed.
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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    gonzo
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    posted February 25, 2002 09:17 AM
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    all wasted at my friends party up in rural NH - start light a TON of big fireworks at around 3 am...i line a bunch of them up stuck into the dirt and crawl up commando style to light em off. i get about half the fuses going when on of the lit ones tips over right in my face and starts spinning all around crazy-like on the ground...everyone screams and takes cover...i quickly about face and try to scurry away as the barrage of white-hot roman candle fireballs start to indiscriminately shoot in every direction. i about get to a tree to hide when one of the white fire balls somehow shoots directly between my foot and flip flop. ouch. didn't hurt at first, but the deep-ass pancake sized blister that resulted and lingered for a few months sure did...tough to pull off at work...
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    Posts: 134 | From: MA to CO back to MA and heading to CHI | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted February 25, 2002 09:21 AM
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    this one wasn't all my fault. same summer as I lit the forest aflame we were also turning big rocks in to little rocks with explosives. so we had all the charges in and round the rocks. and we jump in th truck to go hide from the debris. I was in the passenger seat and I said "this is probably far enough eh" so we stop and sit around waiting for Pete to set off the bang and we wait and wait. So me & goob (i think) get out of the truck and are standing around when the big bang goes off. I'm thinking "cool that was a big one" when I hear rocks flying through the treetops. we dove under the truck which was then pummeled by debris.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Post

    PG 5

    oyster
    Junior Member
    Member # 661

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 09:36 AM
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    OK- So I'm not nearly as stupid as most of you phuckers, but this is kinda funny. I'm like 7 years old and I'm inside watching Olympic diving. I think "That doesn't look so hard, they just jump in head first. I can do that."
    I proceeded to walk out side, climb up on the big five foot rock in our yard, and pull a perfect ten point swan dive into the driveway. I broke my nose and my jaw and I killed the pulp of one of my teeth. I had a pearl grey tooth for several years.

    The good news is I now have no fear of cliff jumping.

    Oyster


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    Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 25, 2002 09:42 AM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by oyster:
    OK- So I'm not nearly as stupid as most of you phuckers, but this is kinda funny. I'm like 7 years old and I'm inside watching Olympic diving. I think "That doesn't look so hard, they just jump in head first. I can do that."
    I proceeded to walk out side, climb up on the big five foot rock in our yard, and pull a perfect ten point swan dive into the driveway. I broke my nose and my jaw and I killed the pulp of one of my teeth. I had a pearl grey tooth for several years.

    The good news is I now have no fear of cliff jumping.

    Oyster


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    not nearly as stupid, eh?


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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Rocky Mountain Snipe
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 09:42 AM
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    Jeezuz man, you're a fu(king idiot.


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    oyster
    Junior Member
    Member # 661

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 09:51 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by Rocky Mountain Snipe:
    Jeezuz man, you're a fu(king idiot.


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    Ok - maybe i am just a dumb as the rest of you. I prefer not to think of it as lacking brains, but more having intense focus.

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    Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    Rocky Mountain Snipe
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 09:53 AM
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    Boy, that was easy. You're a push-over too.
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    IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 25, 2002 09:54 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by Rocky Mountain Snipe:
    Boy, that was easy. You're a push-over too.
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    he gets it from his mom....

    edit: blah blah...not funny...but i couldn't resist...some times high school insists on rearing its ugly head.

    [This message has been edited by focus (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    GrandpaCletus
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 09:55 AM
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    Hey, I think most of these respondants could win a Darwin award for this stuff!
    -gc


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    gonzo
    Member
    Member # 1582

    posted February 25, 2002 10:18 AM
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    freshman year in college - second floor room in a dorm with a 2.5 floor window...you can see where this is going...second floor, you can stick em pretty easy. third floor, a bit too high to jump to flat and stomp it. but 2.5 floors...so i go out and funnel about 10 beers in 15 minutes, stagger home cause i obviously feel "not well" cruise into my room, for some reason take all of my clothes off except my boxers and launch out my window (have no idea why i decided to try it naked and drunk) and woke up hours later in a bathtube with a broken arm...stooooopid.
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    Posts: 134 | From: MA to CO back to MA and heading to CHI | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    oyster
    Junior Member
    Member # 661

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 10:20 AM
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    Ok - yes I am dumb. Oh yeah, and I'm going to hell too. Here's why.
    When I was about 10, I was pretty into model rockets. Also hated the ugly red head girl next door. These two facts inspired me to steal one of her barbie dolls and duct tape a "D" sized model rocket engine to her back. I took the my new hi-tech Barbie rocket over to the hill at the elementary school and launched it.

    It actually flew surprisingly well at first, but in mid flight, the heat burned throught the duct tape and barbie was released for a Mach II space walk. Unfortuanately, without the "Barbie Balast" for stabilizing weight, the engine went out of control and ended up landing in the dry grass next to a church. The grass caught on fire, then the church caught on fire. The thing went up like a dried out pallet. The church burned to the ground. I was able to recover Barbie though. Her hair was pretty much burned, so I cut it and put Barbie back in the ugly red heads yard. Nobody ever put two and two together, but the red head pretty much figured that it was me who maimed Barbie.

    So now, the red head is 32 years old and so hot I can't believe it. She's so hot that when she shits, the water boils. ---- And she still thinks I'm a cretin.

    And oh yeah -- I'm going to hell.

    [This message has been edited by oyster (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 12 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

    frozenwater
    Member
    Member # 215

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 10:59 AM
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    Oyster ---- SWEET!!!!!
    Nothing like a good church burning to get your juices flowing. Oh, and you're going to hell.


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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    LegoSkier
    Member
    Member # 1381

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 11:14 AM
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    Damm, there are some real pros here. Mine are not as stupid as some but here they are...
    #1 Hitting a tennis ball against a concrete wall, I got kinda bored so I soaked the ball in WD-40 and lit it on fire. Made it much more fun until I missed and the ball caught some dry grass on fire. Luckily a hose was nearby.

    #2 When I was a kid my dad built a tree house in a big oak in our back yard. It was about 15' up and was pretty much just a flat platform. One day me and some friends thought it would be cool to add some stuff to it and I went about making some "railing" with rope tied at each end to big cinder blocks. After a while I decided that idea sucked and threw the two blocks off only to look down and realize that the rope between them is around my feet! The rope tightned, smacked me to the tree house deck, then whipped me off the edge and to the ground. Cuts and bruises but nothing major.

    #3 A me and a friend were having a dirt clod fight. I had a great tactical advantage uphill of him and was actually winning for once. For some reason I picked up a fist size, nice round rock and just launched it. To this day almost 20 years later I can see it clear as day. It was a beautiful throw, the best I have ever made. A nice high arc, the trajectory was perfect. As he ran down hill, the rock drifted with him like a laser guided bomb. On impact, it made a noise and bounce as if it had hit the street, but it landed squarely on the exact top of his head. I was kinda proud of the whole thing for about two seconds until both of us started freaking out and blood poured off his head. He ended up needing 25 stitches.


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    Posts: 162 | From: Truckee | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    gonzo
    Member
    Member # 1582

    posted February 25, 2002 11:36 AM
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    rock fights...always a good idea. never ever not good.
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    Posts: 134 | From: MA to CO back to MA and heading to CHI | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    BooYaa13
    Member
    Member # 795

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 12:03 PM
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    Man oh man, reading all this shit makes me realize I wasn't such a misfit after all.
    When I was about 8, me and my neighbor buddy used to pass the muggy & hot Michigan summers in our backyard as a two-boy wrecking crew.

    One day my buddy gets the idea to drag his wading pool out into the backyard and put it at the end of the slide attached to his backyard tree-fort. Instead of dropping the hoses into the pool & letting it fill up, we lugged the two hoses to the top of the slide -- it'd be more fun to fill it up that way, right? So we take turns sliding down the water slide as the pool is filling up.

    When the pool was about half full, I spied our drop-dead gorgeous teenage neighbor stroll out into her backyard in a two piece, with the phone up to her ear. We haul ass across his backyard and my backyard as fast as our little 8 year old legs could take us to the wooden fence dividing her patio/pool from my backyard. Sure enough, I found a knot in the fence that we loosened and pushed through for a perfect view of her tanning. He peered into a slat between two fence boards.

    "Boo, look at her boobs!" Sure enough, there were two "double ejections" poking through her lycra bikini top.

    "Ssssshh!" I shut up. He listens. She's on the phone with her boyfriend, it seems. She sits up and looks around intently. We hold our breath. She lays back down, and starts fumbling with the string holding her top. Then her top slides to the baking cement!

    My buddy and I stare at each other, eyes as wide as dinnerplates, knowing exactly what each other is saying... "YESSSSSSS! Our first real-live tits, in living color!" We turn our attention back to our personal peep show. She's breathing funny now. She's squirming in her chair, talking in a low whisper. Her hands go into her pants ... You know what happens next.

    The next day, me and my buddy were the talk of the town.

    Remember the hoses?

    We had flooded both of our yards and 5 surrounding properties with about 8 inches of water overnight. The fire department had to come and pump it out of the low-lying basin that we lived on.

    Total damage: $63,000 - I didn't go to Disney World that year.


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    Posts: 458 | From: Plymouth, MI USA | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 12:20 PM
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    Has there been a single girl post on the yet? I think guys are proud/ammused with stupid things they've done. Tennis ball soaked in WD-40 nice I would tried paint thinner. I think the flooding would be worth it as long as she was hot.
    [This message has been edited by sublimeskier505 (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    freeskilbc
    Member
    Member # 1852

    posted February 25, 2002 12:24 PM
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    booyaa, that must have been well worth the damage. That story reminds me of a time when i was in fifth grade.
    i was on the playground and i happened to see this mentally retarded kid playing in the sand. For some reason his pants and undies were about halfway down his crack, probably because he didn't know any better.

    Well i saw the perfect opportunity to cause some trouble. i picked up a handfull of sand and threw it right down his undies.

    As i was rolling around laughing, i watched him strip out of his clothes and get the sand out of everything. At that point i realized i wasn't the only one who had seen what had happened. About everyone on the playground saw him with his pants down.

    i had detention for weeks and a permanent reputation from there


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    Posts: 37 | From: Chicago | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 12:36 PM
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    As were on the subject of sex stuff. In 8th grade i made this website on freevote or something to that. Well I listed a bunch of girls based on there "features" take it this was at my house not school. The next day midway through school I got called down to the office. Well I got suspened for 8 days, they almost expelled me. It was BS not one of the girls complained , it turned into a popularity contest. The only reason i got supsened was beacuase I linked it with the school, if I wouldnt have put the school's name on it the most they could have done was 3 days for going on inappropriate content on a school computer. But I went and did work hours at school and got it reduced to 5 days.
    [This message has been edited by sublimeskier505 (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    MirCat
    Junior Member
    Member # 1261

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 12:40 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    Has there been a single girl post on the yet? I think guys are proud/ammused with stupid things they've done.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The only thing I could think of was something that got me grounded for a month - the longest I can remember. I was in elementary school but I don't remember exactly how old I was.

    Anyway, after Christmas we would all go around the neighborhood and get the Christmas trees and build a fort out of them. I was also a little pyro at the time, wanting to start fires whenever I could. So I started building these little fires INSIDE the fort we had built one year. I ran out of matches and snuck into the house to get some more of those big wooden kitchen matches. Anyway my mother comes into the kitchen so I stuff the matches down my pants real quick. My mother comes in and they start falling down my leg inside my pants and onto the floor. Busted!

    Looking back, I'm glad I got caught for that one. It could've gone really badly.

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    Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 12:45 PM
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    Thats not that bad. But thanks for the 1st female post.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    LegoSkier
    Member
    Member # 1381

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 12:46 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by MirCat:

    Anyway, after Christmas we would all go around the neighborhood and get the Christmas trees and build a fort out of them. I was also a little pyro at the time, wanting to start fires whenever I could. So I started building these little fires INSIDE the fort we had built one year. I ran out of matches and snuck into the house to get some more of those big wooden kitchen matches. Anyway my mother comes into the kitchen so I stuff the matches down my pants real quick. My mother comes in and they start falling down my leg inside my pants and onto the floor. Busted!
    Looking back, I'm glad I got caught for that one. It could've gone really badly.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You would have fit in nicely in Los Banos, CA. They used to have a tree burning at one of my college buddies parents house. The whole town would bring their trees and stack them in a gravel lot, add some orchard trimmings, some railroad ties, and some kerosene and finish off with drunk guys with matches. Good central valley fun. And later on, the guy who owned the christmas tree lot showed up with a flatbed full of trees!

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    Posts: 162 | From: Truckee | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    frozenwater
    Member
    Member # 215

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 12:49 PM
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    wasn't aware we had moved on to fire, here goes:
    A friend and I spent a week digging a "real" battle scene for our plastic army guys. We had damns, lakes, roads, you name it in this kids backyard.

    Well we decided it would be cool to fill all the rivers and lakes we created with gasoline so that we could have a realistic battle ground.

    I had two, 2 gallon cans and we used all that, then we grabbed his big ol' 5 gallon can and dumped all of it. Then we put all of our truks, and G.I. Joe guys around, put a boat in the "lake" filled with gas, and pretty much just had half of this guys yard covered.

    We thought the gas would just follow the river and the lake, and just be a small fire, but I guess we sloshed a lot of it all over the place filling up the rivers and the lake we had made.

    Right then I got called home, so I was not directly responsible, but I still remember seeing the flames shoot up over the fence from my bedroom window.

    No real damage done, since the guys backyard was all dirt, but it was pretty cool seeing the whole thing blazing for 10 minutes.

    [This message has been edited by frozenwater (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 12:52 PM
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    Never throw firecrackers in the fire.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    stevekoss
    Junior Member
    Member # 61

    Rate Member posted February 25, 2002 12:55 PM
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    Fell off a bridge once, trying to rappel it. It was with rope bought at the hardware store, and harness/etc made from spare rope. When I hit the water I was in it with rope all around me but managed to shed i off and pull myself back to the central bridge support. My friend climbed down to undercarrige, and we had a nice conversation regarding how to handle this. He said if thais had happened that he'd be able to pull me back up to the undercarrige (very cold water/fast moving river) But the bastard couldn't so I was just dangling on the rope in the water getting weaker and weaker. I came up with the idea of going out the full 200' of rope and trying to use it to direct myself closer to shore, like a water skier behind a boat. The idea seemed sound, but theree was one catch, there was only one out before some serious rapids lined with shear rock walls. I'm a shitty swimmer, and once I got 200' feet down the line, I wasn't coming back. So He and I said our goodbyes, and I told him what I wanted him to do/say if I didn't make it. (that's a really strange conversation to have, for those who haven't) I released the rope said "cya" and went with the water. He got smaller and smaller, then all of a sudden there was a crack and I was at the end of the rope. I put my right arm out at 45, and low and behold I started to move right. I held it for as long as I could, before I pulled my knife and cut myself from my harness. I made it to shore with about 4 feet of landing left. I stood up and laughed like I've never laughed before! Then collasped. But got back up after a few, and climbed/walked back to the road, where my friend was waiting. I thought that was pretty stupid, in retrospect.
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    Posts: 14 | From: BC | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 12:59 PM
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    OMG I have just lost large portion of arm hair and some eyebrows. I always thought cooking spray was flamable. I was sparying it in my sink i lit a small thing of it on fire then sprayed i've never seen a fire like that before its better then hair spray. Brb must tempt fate again.
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    frozenwater
    Member
    Member # 215

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 12:59 PM
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    Ok, I was a boyscout growing up, hell I was raised in utah, pity me, but don't judge me.
    It was breakfast and the leader was cooking us pancakes. meanwhile a bunch of us are gathered around the campfire which was about 50 feet away.

    Someone dared me to throw my completly full can of insect repellant in the fire. I of course had to do it, it was a dare.

    In hindsight, you'd think the scout leader should've known to run for it when 20 scouts suddenly take off into the trees. When that sucker exploded there were burning logs flying upwards of 100 feet away. They were dropping all around this guy. Our troop got kicked out of that boy scout camp for that one. Something about breaking some scout law...


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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    MirCat
    Junior Member
    Member # 1261

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 01:01 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    Thats not that bad. But thanks for the 1st female post.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Uh, I used to hide the food I didn't want to eat under the bed.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Posts
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    Post

    PG 6

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 01:04 PM
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    Ewww hmm wonder if my mom is going to notice half the thing of Pam is gone.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    gonzo
    Member
    Member # 1582

    posted February 25, 2002 01:17 PM
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    fork in socket
    toilet paper fires in toilet...flush when you get skeerd

    kicking through doors in my house to get at my whack my older brother in the head with my trumpet, resulting in shattered doors, concussion, and pissed mom

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    Posts: 134 | From: MA to CO back to MA and heading to CHI | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 01:40 PM
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    put a joint in mouth backwards
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    MirCat
    Junior Member
    Member # 1261

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 01:43 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homefrie:
    put a joint in mouth backwards
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    Isn't that a good thing?

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    Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    AkLuke
    Junior Member
    Member # 2293

    Rate Member posted February 25, 2002 01:44 PM
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    I can home so piss face drunk one night, I decided that my roommates chair was the toilet. He was pretty upset considering his clothes were on the chair.
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    Posts: 0 | From: Anchorage/ Greeley | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    homefrie
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 01:50 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by MirCat:
    Isn't that a good thing?


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    if you like to burn your tongue


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    slip
    Member
    Member # 1413

    posted February 25, 2002 02:05 PM
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    [This message has been edited by slip (edited 12-06-2002).]


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    Posts: 273 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beerhunter
    Junior Member
    Member # 864

    Rate Member posted February 25, 2002 03:10 PM
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    Easy, moved back to WI from CO...think Red from 70's show..."way to go dumbass!"
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    Posts: 22 | From: oshkosh, wi,usa | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    roll - gybe
    Junior Member
    Member # 935

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 03:28 PM
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    wow, and I might be headed into the backcountry with some of you guys.
    i stuck my finger in the outlet. I also stuck it in an electric pencil sharpener. I also stuck it in a manual crank sharpener, and had to go down to the school nurse with the sharpener attached to my finger. I ate mushroom pizza and hooked up with my old friend's roommate in an open room at a party, because I was in love for a few minutes. I got naked at a party or two. I threw a watermellon at my friend from five stories up. Head to head slip and slide -lst a tooth. Experimented with gravity at 4 yrs of age by diving onto a patio from 4 feet up, face first, lost a tooth. I totaled my car on my way to the bar, sober, but with plenty of evidence in the glove compartment. I tried to ride the lift down at killington because it sucked so much. I lost my car for a couple of days because I forgot where I left it (was not sober).


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    Posts: 19 | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 25, 2002 03:45 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by LegoSkier:

    #3 A me and a friend were having a dirt clod fight. I had a great tactical advantage uphill of him and was actually winning for once. For some reason I picked up a fist size, nice round rock and just launched it. To this day almost 20 years later I can see it clear as day. It was a beautiful throw, the best I have ever made. A nice high arc, the trajectory was perfect. As he ran down hill, the rock drifted with him like a laser guided bomb. On impact, it made a noise and bounce as if it had hit the street, but it landed squarely on the exact top of his head. I was kinda proud of the whole thing for about two seconds until both of us started freaking out and blood poured off his head. He ended up needing 25 stitches.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    dude..where you from? i have that exact same story, except i'm the sucker who got hit w/ the damn rock -- still got the scar.


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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    homerjay
    Member
    Member # 1275

    Member Rated:
    posted February 25, 2002 04:19 PM
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    my buddy once smoked an entire cigarette backwards. I think he was on acid.
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    Posts: 715 | From: The Sunshine State | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 25, 2002 04:29 PM
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    I think everyone gets hit with a rock during a dirt clod fight when they were a tyke.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 25, 2002 04:42 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    I think everyone gets hit with a rock during a dirt clod fight when they were a tyke.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    you're prolly right....i had visions of finding a long lost playmate

    i've only had stitches twice in my life, and they were both from this one kid. one of his eyes had a slice of a different color in it -- like a pizza slice. don't remember if it was blue on brown or vice versa...it was some weird shit. anyhow...the one time was exactly as lego skier described (word for f'en word)...the other time was when he was experimenting w/ how close he could pass me w/ his bike w/o hitting me..well, he found out...our handlebars got tangled up and and i nailed my head on his sprocket.


    [This message has been edited by focus (edited 02-25-2002).]


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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 25, 2002 04:54 PM
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    hah..one time i was trying to see how slow i could go w/ my bike...i lost my balance and slammed into the pavement face first. hurt like hell. the entire left side of my face had a big nasty scab on it, almost like a mask...it was gross....
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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    DamnINeedSnow
    unregistered


    posted February 25, 2002 07:00 PM
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    The four M-80 bottle rocket I put them in this pipe with a cappy thing on one end I could not get it to stand up so I throw it it exploded in my face tore the pipe to rat shit I have a scar above my eye 4 in long 2 cm wide 1 cm deep

    once I let the top rommen boil till it was gone then the pan started to melt I got my ass chewed,swallowed and barfed that night

    BB rifle that shot at 1000 fps... Max pumps... $3... in the spine... sugary 4 weeks recovery I was 12


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    JR
    Member
    Member # 1136

    posted February 25, 2002 07:44 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by DamnINeedSnow:
    BB rifle that shot at 1000 fps... Max pumps... $3... in the spine... sugary 4 weeks recovery I was 12
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    Sugary? Did they get you wet and then roll you in sugar. Interesting health care you have. And then the nurses licked you, right?


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    Posts: 420 | From: canada | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 26, 2002 11:28 AM
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    Up north at my cottage, this lady feeds the ducks 24/7 and its just out of spite beacuase she hates my neighbor 5 doors down from us. There's so many of them thats it began to cause swimmers itch in the lake. WE decided some vigalante justice would be in order. My pellet gun is equal to a 22 when you pump it 10 times, and aarmed with a scope some ducks were bound to die. From at least 25 yards i shot into a crowd of ducks, i thought i missed but when the whole crowd of ducks swam away haha i knew it was a good shot. Well my neightbors a few doors down saw it they all started laughing there ass off. I ran out on the jet ski picked it up and ditched it in the woods. I know its not the ducks fault but hey.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    1080Rider
    Member
    Member # 1330

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 12:14 PM
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    You should be shooting the lady. Leave the ducks alone, those suckers mate for life. You probably created a widow.
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    Posts: 59 | From: Spokane, WA | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 26, 2002 12:36 PM
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    See in MI here we are having a huge goose/duck population. It needs to be reduced and its wrecking the lake, I did the water and fishes more of a favor cappin that duck then the duck does for the enviroment.
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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted February 26, 2002 12:38 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by sublimeskier505:
    I ran out on the jet ski picked it up and ditched it in the woods. I know its not the ducks fault but hey.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You should have at least eaten it. You would probably more effective at pissing off you duck feeding neighbor by ripping around on your jet ski every time she tries to feed the ducks.


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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    The Village Idiot
    Junior Member
    Member # 3219

    posted February 26, 2002 12:41 PM
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    Nope i catch them on my wakeboard, but am only there on weekends plus after that the ducks stoped hanging around for a good month they got smart. i would try getting them on my jet ski but in 1ft water less then 10 ft away from shore I would trash the ski.
    [This message has been edited by sublimeskier505 (edited 02-26-2002).]


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    Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged

    kush
    Member
    Member # 104

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 12:48 PM
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    ive done alot of unsmart things in my short 18 years, but the dumbest was probably last summer.
    a few friends and i were really bored one night(11:30 and no parties)so we decided to go down to the cliffs. the cliffs are on the side of a river you jump off them into the river. the highest one was about 70 feet at the time(usually 60 but we were in a drought) we all kept one uping each other, first we jumped off the 40 fotter into the dark. then the 50 and then the 70, i timed all the landings right so i had my legs closed on landing. untill i go to the 70 footer i hit with them wide open(you have alot of speed from 70 feet in the air). it felt like i was punted right in the nuts, sunk like a stone for about 30 seconds.
    dont know if i felt the worst pain or if my friend who landed flat on his back did.(would have to say i did though)
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    Posts: 757 | From: east of the west | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    AkLuke
    Junior Member
    Member # 2293

    Rate Member posted February 26, 2002 01:04 PM
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    I decided that in stead of driving drunk, I would ride my bike home one night. Not a good idea, I think it is harder than driving. I missed a transfer from the road I was on to the sidewalk. The curb swept the tires out from underneath me, I slid across the sidewalk, threw the grass and into a fence. The people at the front desk of my dorm looked at me kind of wierd when I came in smelling of beer, covered in dead grass with blood running down my arm and leg.
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    Posts: 0 | From: Anchorage/ Greeley | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    frozenwater
    Member
    Member # 215

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 02:02 PM
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    I once posted directions to a party at my house on the internet.
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    Posts: 651 | From: OOOOOtahhhhhhhh | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    Buster Highmen
    Member
    Member # 307

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 02:03 PM
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    I went skiing with a bunch of guys I met on the internet. It was really fun and no one got arrested. I might even do it again.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    16

    Post

    PG 7

    1080Rider
    Member
    Member # 1330

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 02:29 PM
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    I think I might take the cake w/ my unsmart thing done...
    I went to law school in 1995 and graduated in 1998. See if anyone can top that.

    Actually I enjoy my job. I try not to be too sleazy and I try to do the right thing. Don't know if I always do, but I try.


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    Posts: 59 | From: Spokane, WA | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    focus
    Junior Member
    Member # 1283

    posted February 26, 2002 02:32 PM
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    scary.
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    Posts: 13 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted February 26, 2002 02:33 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by 1080Rider:
    I think I might take the cake w/ my unsmart thing done...
    I went to law school in 1995 and graduated in 1998. See if anyone can top that.

    Actually I enjoy my job. I try to be sleazy and not to do the right thing. Don't know if I always do, but I try.


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    Geez, and we all thought the car salesman, homefrie, was the sleaziest on the board.

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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Clack
    Member
    Member # 1514

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 02:45 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by homerjay:
    my buddy once smoked an entire cigarette backwards. I think he was on acid.
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    I did that on mushrooms once. Damn Marlboro lights, can't tell which end's which!

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    Posts: 440 | From: on the lamb | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    PiSsEdOfFsKiEr
    unregistered


    posted February 26, 2002 02:52 PM
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    unsmart things eh?
    - pellet gun tag
    - 'borrowing' a vehicle on acid and driving 2 hours to go to a party (got caught AFTER we arrived and parked)
    - about 99% of my ex-girlfriends
    - screwing a Crown Attorney's teenage daughter (and getting caught AFTER we "arrived")
    - sawing the top of a tree off (whilst above the cutline)
    - matchhead bombs (don't ask - painful memories)
    - tipping my Mr.Freeze back to finish it while riding my bike with no hands (enter rear-end of parked pick-up truck)
    - sling-shot + glass marbles = very unhappy best friend (accident)
    - trying to pet the pretty dog
    - trying to pet the pretty girl
    - customs agent asks my buddy "Do you have any alcohol, firearms or tobacco?", my buddy answers "Sure, whaddya need?" (8 hours later he got his car parts released to him)
    - not realising her bf was right behind me.

    Some of these resulted in heinous injury, others in jailtime, others just caused severe embarassment.

    "I am so smart, I am so smart. S - M - R -T" - homer

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    IP: Logged

    powpowpowderwheels
    Member
    Member # 1411

    Member Rated:
    posted February 26, 2002 03:54 PM
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    was rollerblading last summer, and went up to talk to a girl who i really wanted to impress. It was only a matter of seconds until my skiing instincts kicked in, and i tried to hockey-stop. If you have ever done this on rollerblades, you know it results in you being caught totally unaware, and flying down onto your ass. I did this not five feet from her, and needless to say she gave me a funny look and left with the rest of her friends. I bike or drive now.
    also, trying to re-light the match several times for my buddy.

    going off a jump on a plastic sled and breaking my arm, still no long term injuries skiing.

    nothing monumental like some of you guys.


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    Posts: 59 | From: ****cago | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    KK
    Junior Member
    Member # 220

    Rate Member posted February 26, 2002 03:58 PM
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    Once laid down in the middle of a Naval airfield runway late at night while planes were practicing touch-and-goes. We inched closer and closer to the landing zone until the turbulence of the takeoffs was too much to handle anymore. Then the flood lights came on and we scattered into the woods.
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    Posts: 2 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    AkLuke
    Junior Member
    Member # 2293

    Rate Member posted February 26, 2002 04:38 PM
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    While I was employed at Alyeska Ski Resort, I threw a front flip when they were banned. Just happened that the Mt. Manager was standing on the cat track below. When he told me to come to him, I took off running. I had people on the chair cheering, there was no stoping now. I out ran him and was able to get away and change clothes and take a couple more runs that day. But when I came to work the next day, the manger fired me, took my free season pass I got for being an employe, and kicked me off the mountain for the rest of the year, and this was in Feburay. Not my smartest move at the time.
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    Posts: 0 | From: Anchorage/ Greeley | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    Buster Highmen
    Member
    Member # 307

    Member Rated:
    posted October 24, 2002 11:13 AM
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    Posts: 2079 | From: Redmond, WA 98014 | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

    bad_roo
    Member
    Member # 1258

    Member Rated:
    posted October 24, 2002 11:15 AM
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    nice work BH
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    Posts: 2088 | From: Tooting Broadway | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Spats
    Member
    Member # 1489

    Member Rated:
    posted December 05, 2002 10:03 PM
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    bump for a classic thread

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    Posts: 305 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Powderfarmer
    Member
    Member # 1369

    Member Rated:
    posted December 05, 2002 10:42 PM
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    Well the list is long and plentifull, but here are the highlights
    Back in highschool was trying to impress this chick ripper up at jay peak, she was long time crush. Well we dualed in the bumps and well in the end I ended up with a second deg concussion. I really showed her

    Tried to stand on a plastic sled and go off a little kicker on the street in boulder. 2nd deg seperation and turn rotator cuff in shoulder. missed 4 weeks of the season.

    Ran the gore canyon down river race with a second year guide as head guide, me and bunch of non guide friends. really almost didn't make it, yes if you saw the race we were that boat. but hey it was fun.


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    Posts: 236 | From: Colorado | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    CaddyDaddy77
    Member
    Member # 1600

    Member Rated:
    posted December 06, 2002 06:48 AM
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    Fu(kin off in gym class in 7th grade took a basketball and hit it with an aluminum bat, end result, ruptured vessels in my eye made it red for a week or so and a giant balck eye after the concussion I recieved from the recoil of the bat off of the basketball. Was given shiite for years, hey slugger!! there's the big hitter!!
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    Posts: 668 | From: Durango | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    jack apier
    unregistered


    posted December 06, 2002 07:11 AM
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    I'll add my little story here:
    I consider myself to be pretty level headed, and it takes a lot to push me over the edge. But once I go over, it's not pretty.
    So I'm about 6 or 7, and my sister is about 9, and we're sitting at the dinner table. She is bugging THE HELL out of me, and won't let up. Now, I've thrown a ton of stuff at my sister. Toys, remotes, full cans of coke, you name it. So I look down, and what do I have in my hand, but a fork. "This looks like a good idea" I said to myself.
    So I fling the fork at my sister. FWAK
    Fork hits my sister's forhead, and sticks straight out for a second (almost like a cartoon) then drops. Then my dad proceeded to beat the piss out of me. I'm just glad I never hit her in the eye, but hey, she started it.


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    IP: Logged

    pgaks
    Member
    Member # 281

    Rate Member posted December 06, 2002 07:29 AM
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    ok first you have to understand i grew up in rural alaska, you have to get inventive to find things to do when you cant bike, ski, snowmachine for some reason(usually due to a earlier incident involving stupidity)
    1. when i was 6-10 yrs old i had a weird things for knots(now that im married i notice it coming back) thought it would be funny to tie my bro-in-laws s-10 to the trailer him and my sis were living in while they built there house. he jumps in the truck to go some where in a hurry, ended up pullin the trailer off the blocks and about halfway down the driveway. also thought it would be funny to tie my dad to the dresser while he was sleeping, how was i supposed to know the phone was gonna ring, he ended up dragging the dresser out of the bedroom down the hall, awnsered the phone, then drug the dresser the down the hall to my room. i didnt leave my room for a month.

    2. dad decided to get into reloading shotgun and rifle rounds, only place to put the bench was in my room(never expose a 14 yr old to smokless powder) me and a friend stole some blasting caps from his dad, put them in the shotgun shells with the wires stickin out primer should go, then packed the shells as full of smokless powder as we could, damn thing could shoot a tree stump 5 ft in diameter about 120 ft in the air.

    3. mom was pissed at me and went to slap me, me thinking i was a bad ass 12 yr old, blocked the slap, and discovered that in the 20 yrs of workin as a bartender my mom had one hell of a right hook.

    4. tried to be a enterprising 7th grader, and sell liquor out of my locker, made it till 4 days till the end of year. a totall of 11 of the 14 high schoolers and 17 of the 20 junior highers were suspended. made national news, only they wrote it as 2/3 of junior high and high school suspended, never mentioning the fact that it was only 28 ppl total.

    5. mounting a 120 cm snowboard to the rear of a bmx frame, and a half of a 120cm to the front fork of the bike(actually rides better than any of the ones you can actually buy now that we have refined it) the stupid part came in the fact that we thought we could make it down the road run at hatchers pass the day after we made it. We picked bark out of our teeth for the rest of the day.

    Thats about all i can think of at 7 AM after a mooses tooth first tap party with no sleep.

    Think Snow
    Sheb


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    Posts: 42 | From: Anchorage, AK, USA | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

    einan
    Member
    Member # 1516

    Member Rated:
    posted December 06, 2002 07:34 AM
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    Two friends of mine went to this hardware store to get something. While they were there, they walked by the branding section. My one friend was not too far ahead of the other when the one behind him grabbed an electric cattle prod and..... ZAP! I guess my friend was rolling on the ground just pissed.
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    Posts: 75 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Big E
    Member
    Member # 923

    Member Rated:
    posted December 06, 2002 08:46 AM
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    I just wrote this in TJ's thread, not even noticing that the real place it belongs had been bumped...

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Big E:
    Just yesterday, we had a pretty good storm (for the DC area) blow through here. Everything was closed, including my work, so I took this as a sign that I should be skiing. So, I drove up to my folks house (took over an 1 hr, usually a 30 min. drive) to pick up all my stuff, stashed there for my brief trip west next weekend, threw it in the truck, and headed west to that POS of a mountain...I mean, that great local skiing, Whitetail. Normally, about a 1 hr drive or so. It was snowing pretty good all the way up.
    I turned off the highway and started down the tiny access road, passed a snow plow that got a little too close to the edge and ended up in a cornfield on its side, and finally got to the hill at about 11:30. Over 4 hours from when I left my house. Ugh. But, that'd all be erased when I clicked in to my boards. It was empty, I mean, nobody there. Kinda like Wally World when the Griswalds got there.

    I got all my stuff on, walked over to the ticket window, set my skis down in the empty ski rack, and walked up to the one window where the blind was up. Geez, this is gonna sweet, this place is empty. "Hey man, can I get a half-day ticket." "Gosh, I'm sorry sir, we're not open today." "What????? You gotta be shitting me!" I don't even remember what happened after that.

    Another one to file under "Unsmart things done." Really shoulda stopped at the local store and picked up a BB gun, a la Clark.


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    Posts: 796 | From: On your left... | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

    bobthejibber
    unregistered


    posted December 06, 2002 08:59 AM
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    Jumped off of the bridge over the Snake River in Alpine WY. In late May. With the river running incredibly high. The water temp was barely above freezing. It is a long swim from the middle of that river to the bank. As soon as I hit the water, I thought I was going to drown. Luckily, I jumped in with a life preserver and was able to stay afloat and make it to shore.
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    IP: Logged

    Frindajm
    unregistered


    posted December 06, 2002 09:20 AM
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    I once posted a mesage on the powdermag board w/ junior member status.
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    IP: Logged

    RallyPatrol
    unregistered


    posted December 06, 2002 09:59 AM
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    After graduating college in May '98, on the east coast, I set out to make the pilgrimage out west to Salt Lake City. I had graduted in May and worked all summer at home to save money. Well, in that time from May '98 to Oct '98 I was dating a girl from home. Well, the young sap that I was (young sucker as it turns out) I fell prey to my girlfriends suggestion to have her move out west with me. (in my defense, at the time I was thinking very logically - what more could I need: skiing pow everyday and easy access to a peice of ass I didn't need to pay for)
    well to make a long story short: she lasted 2 1/2 months of me choosing powder over her. We both agreed it was better for her to go back to NJ after I found out that she was banging her manager at Applebees.
    Moral of the story: Remeber that girlfriends and Skiing don't mix and if you chose skiing be prepared to take the unpreventable oath of a Ski Monk.


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    IP: Logged

    maddog
    Junior Member
    Member # 1542

    Rate Member posted December 06, 2002 12:50 PM
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    When I was in high school, a friend and I were shooting a bb gun up in the mountains. The gun was so lame you could see the bb arc out of the gun. It only shot about 25 yards, so I got the bright idea that I would run up the road a ways and my buddy could shoot me in the back. My friend readily agreed (who wouldn't?). I started running and to my dismay, after about 3 steps I heard this "THWAP!" ...It went in right between my shoulder blades and laid me out flat in the dirt. Ouch! That stang.
    Oh yeah, and that time I lit 100 firecrackers in my bedroom.


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    Posts: 4 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    cololi
    Member
    Member # 1464

    Member Rated:
    posted December 06, 2002 01:00 PM
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    Bet my friend that he couldn't hold a stun gun to his stomach for twenty seconds. After about four seconds he fell to the ground. After about 15 seconds he started to drool. It left two burn marks on hisstomach. That was about twn years ago, the marks are still there.
    I also held an apple in my hand while my friend shot it with an arrow. Luckily, he was an excellent marksman. The part that made it unsmart was that he was.is blind as a bat, and he didn't have his glasses on when he did it.

    I tried to ride a kayak down a gravel pit and over a near vertical drop. The front tip of the kayak dug into and the kayak flipped tail over tip, slamming me face first into the dirt. It hurt.


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    Posts: 897 | From: slc | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    CU88
    Member
    Member # 1300

    Member Rated:
    posted December 06, 2002 01:21 PM
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    Many years ago I was at a party when a friend described how you could light farts. Incredulous and having a bad case of gas, I suggested we go to the den off the living room and see if we could fire one up. I dropped by pants and he held a fire place match up to my butt and I let it rip. I promptly discovered that you have to leave your underwear up or you suffer a burned butt hole and singed pubic hair. I also discover it is very embarassing to have the door thrown open in response to my yelp to have the whole party observe me standing there with my pants down and my friend standing there with a shit-eating grin.
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    Posts: 79 | From: Seattle | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Spats
    Member
    Member # 1489

    Member Rated:
    posted February 03, 2003 11:08 PM
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    bumpa bump bumpity bump
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    Posts: 305 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    FreakofSnow
    Member
    Member # 1135

    Member Rated:
    posted February 03, 2003 11:10 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by spatters:
    bumpa bump bumpity bump
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    you doing preventive maintenance?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    16

    Post

    PG 8

    stompinlines2
    Member
    Member # 1296

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 03:32 AM
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    It was my freshmen summer of college and I was working for my girlfriend's extremely wealthy grandfather at his lake estate. He had me raking leaves off his beach, and putting them into piles to burn. There is about two-hundred and fifty feet of wooded property between his home and the beach. A little bit after lunch he hollers "Hey stompinlines, let's go hit some golf balls." This old chap is a very care free, mindless type. I inform him it will be a bit before I can extinguish two of the piles that I have burning. So I THOROUGHLY douse the fires with lake water and kick excessive amounts of sand on these two fires that were about five feet in diameter. After the smoke had cleared I was off to the country club with the old man. We are about to tea off at the first hole and the golf pro runs out the door during gramps back swing and yells, "Mr. Jackson, your wife Julianne just called and said your backyard is on fire". So what does the old man do? He throws me the keys to his Cadillac and informs me that I should go check it out. I hop in this Caddy and do about ninety miles an hour through this quaint little community of ten thousand people. All awhile I am craning my neck out the window looking for plumes of smoke. Sure enough, I spot clouds of smoke about two miles from their house. When I pulled into their 1/2 mile driveway it's full of cops and firetrucks. I ran around back to witness the firefighters spraying down half their backyard, their neighbors trees, the old man's sailboat, sea kayak, and two out of three sections of his newly installed pier. The firemen speculated that if they would have shown up five minutes later old man's mastercraft and pontoon boat would have be toasted. I have never felt so lowly/subhuman in my life. I have god to thank these people had millions in the bank and a big heart, otherwise I believe that I would have more to worry about than just my current student loans. Oh, and the sugar coating to this story, Gramps received a 210 dollar ticket for not possessing a burning permit!
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    Posts: 276 | From: UW-Madison | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Honc
    Member
    Member # 1683

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 05:41 AM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I got so bored in high school that my best friend and I invented a game called Bavarian Nutbag. In this game you sit about 10 feet apart, legs spread with your balls hanging out of your zipper. You take a mini Nerf basketball and lob it back and forth at the other guy's nuts. As the ball is coming the attackee is not allowed to move or even flinch, if he does, the attacker is permitted one direct shot as hard as he wants. First one to tap out loses.
    The inaugural game got so intense that I wound up in the nurses office with a testicle swollen to the size of a tennis ball. Needless to say I had to explain how it got so large and bruised.

    --------------------
    Don't think, it'll only hurt the ballclub.

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    Posts: 99 | From: Maine...Ayuh. | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    kush
    Member
    Member # 104

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 09:50 AM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Honc:
    I got so bored in high school that my best friend and I invented a game called Bavarian Nutbag. In this game you sit about 10 feet apart, legs spread with your balls hanging out of your zipper. You take a mini Nerf basketball and lob it back and forth at the other guy's nuts. As the ball is coming the attackee is not allowed to move or even flinch, if he does, the attacker is permitted one direct shot as hard as he wants. First one to tap out loses.
    The inaugural game got so intense that I wound up in the nurses office with a testicle swollen to the size of a tennis ball. Needless to say I had to explain how it got so large and bruised.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    We played that this past weekend, only after consuming mass amounts of liqour thought. We decided to use a sqaush ball insted of the nerfball. I lost when my friend decided it would be fun to slide a pool ball across the floor insted of tossing a sqaush ball. Lets just say I dont think i will ever go pro in nut ball.
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    Posts: 757 | From: east of the west | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    Huck Finn
    Member
    Member # 1476

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 10:30 AM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Honc:
    I got so bored in high school that my best friend and I invented a game called Bavarian Nutbag. In this game you sit about 10 feet apart, legs spread with your balls hanging out of your zipper. You take a mini Nerf basketball and lob it back and forth at the other guy's nuts.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Holy Hell!
    What is wrong with you guys?
    I don't know what is more disturbing, a bunch of dudes sitting around with their yam bags hanging out, or agreeing to have something thrown at your sack.
    You guys have either been watching too much Jackass, or are pioneers of male birth control.

    DON'T EVER POST ANY PICTURES. EVER.

    --------------------
    Skiing gives me gas.

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    Posts: 296 | From: MD | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    bad_roo
    Member
    Member # 1258

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 10:35 AM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Honc:
    I got so bored in high school that my best friend and I invented a game called Bavarian Nutbag.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I dread to think what other activities you indulged in to salve your boredom before you hit upon Bavarian Nutbag.

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    Every man knows he's a sissy next to Johnny Bumphus.

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    Posts: 2088 | From: Tooting Broadway | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Viva el Caballo
    Member
    Member # 1320

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 11:11 AM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Huck Finn:

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Honc:
    I got so bored in high school that my best friend and I invented a game called Bavarian Nutbag. In this game you sit about 10 feet apart, legs spread with your balls hanging out of your zipper. You take a mini Nerf basketball and lob it back and forth at the other guy's nuts.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Holy Hell!
    What is wrong with you guys?
    I don't know what is more disturbing, a bunch of dudes sitting around with their yam bags hanging out, or agreeing to have something thrown at your sack.
    You guys have either been watching too much Jackass, or are pioneers of male birth control.

    DON'T EVER POST ANY PICTURES. EVER.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    LMAO!!!

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    Please remain seated, your number's coming
    Do not question these comands

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    Posts: 1112 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    p-tex
    Member
    Member # 1355

    Rate Member posted February 04, 2003 11:18 AM
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    I coulda gone cat skiing today for free but instead I am sitting in an excel training class. Prolly coulda even got away with saying I went to the class and gone skiing and told the boss some BS about what I learned.

    gotta be the dumbest move ever!!!!!!!!1

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    If it itches - scratch it!!

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    Posts: 63 | From: Front Range | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Owens Never Sleeps
    Member
    Member # 25

    Member Rated:
    posted February 04, 2003 12:46 PM
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    Ok - so after re-reading all of these and laughing till my gut hurts, I think it's time for an actual vote. Who's the unsmartest phucker here? (I realize that I may be very high in the running - but it would be good to clarify it)

    Read 'em all and cast your vote.

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    Do not trifle with me, for I am a killer.

    Owens Never Sleeps https://www.tetongravity.com

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    Posts: 411 | From: Anchorage, Alaska, USA | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged

    d-day
    Member
    Member # 421

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 09:59 AM
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    I tried to park my subbie on the side of the parking lot @ the PTTP party & got stuck.

    this is a funny funny thread.

    in highschool I drank Gin & coke cuz it was all I had.
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    Posts: 1425 | From: zion | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

    ulty_guy
    Member
    Member # 1630

    posted March 14, 2003 10:16 AM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by BooYaa13:
    Man oh man, reading all this **** makes me realize I wasn't such a misfit after all.

    When I was about 8, me and my neighbor buddy used to pass the muggy & hot Michigan summers in our backyard as a two-boy wrecking crew.

    One day my buddy gets the idea to drag his wading pool out into the backyard and put it at the end of the slide attached to his backyard tree-fort. Instead of dropping the hoses into the pool & letting it fill up, we lugged the two hoses to the top of the slide -- it'd be more fun to fill it up that way, right? So we take turns sliding down the water slide as the pool is filling up.

    When the pool was about half full, I spied our drop-dead gorgeous teenage neighbor stroll out into her backyard in a two piece, with the phone up to her ear. We haul ass across his backyard and my backyard as fast as our little 8 year old legs could take us to the wooden fence dividing her patio/pool from my backyard. Sure enough, I found a knot in the fence that we loosened and pushed through for a perfect view of her tanning. He peered into a slat between two fence boards.

    "Boo, look at her boobs!" Sure enough, there were two "double ejections" poking through her lycra bikini top.

    "Ssssshh!" I shut up. He listens. She's on the phone with her boyfriend, it seems. She sits up and looks around intently. We hold our breath. She lays back down, and starts fumbling with the string holding her top. Then her top slides to the baking cement!

    My buddy and I stare at each other, eyes as wide as dinnerplates, knowing exactly what each other is saying... "YESSSSSSS! Our first real-live tits, in living color!" We turn our attention back to our personal peep show. She's breathing funny now. She's squirming in her chair, talking in a low whisper. Her hands go into her pants ... You know what happens next.

    The next day, me and my buddy were the talk of the town.

    Remember the hoses?

    We had flooded both of our yards and 5 surrounding properties with about 8 inches of water overnight. The fire department had to come and pump it out of the low-lying basin that we lived on.

    Total damage: $63,000 - I didn't go to Disney World that year.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    boos worth a bump. i still get laughs from this thread.

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    blower, we all nee more blower

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    Posts: 662 | From: the big smoke | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    cahfoolio
    Member
    Member # 1834

    posted March 14, 2003 10:44 AM
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    stole an agway van filled w/tools and ****. put a brick on the accelorator, reached in, threw in drive and watched it careen a cross the campus of a certain nh state school and slam into the gym.
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    Posts: 257 | From: beast | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged

    cahfoolio
    Member
    Member # 1834

    posted March 14, 2003 10:46 AM
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    stole an agway van filled w/tools and ****. put a brick on the accelorator, reached in, threw in drive and watched it careen a cross the campus of a certain nh state school and slam into the gym.
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    Posts: 257 | From: beast | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged

    ulty_guy
    Member
    Member # 1630

    posted March 14, 2003 10:49 AM
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    wow, you did that twice? that is dumb!

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    blower, we all nee more blower

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    Posts: 662 | From: the big smoke | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Vinman
    Member
    Member # 1316

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 03:12 PM
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    I have been reading this and LMAO all afternoon.

    Not sure how old but I could not have been more than 8 or 9. Went fishing one day near an electric fence. Didn't catch anything but a sucker fish which aren't good for much except taking all of you bait. And seeing that I was now out of worms and was not having much fun and feeling a little beligerent towards the sucker since it had just eaten all of my worm I decided to have some fun with it and get some payback. Knowing very little about the condutive properties of a wet fish Deciding that electrocution of the fish would be fun I held on the fish's tail and touched it to the electric fence. The first time I got just a tiny tingle in my fingers and dropped the fish. The second time, I really got a good dose and could not let go. I finally pulled away after a second or two. My whole arm was numb for about 5 minutes after. To this day I am very resepectful of electricity and still hate those sucker fish.

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    fighting gravity on a daily basis

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    Posts: 170 | From: on my bike | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted March 14, 2003 03:32 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Vinman:
    I have been reading this and LMAO all afternoon.

    Not sure how old but I could not have been more than 8 or 9. Went fishing one day near an electric fence. Didn't catch anything but a sucker fish which aren't good for much except taking all of you bait. And seeing that I was now out of worms and was not having much fun and feeling a little beligerent towards the sucker since it had just eaten all of my worm I decided to have some fun with it and get some payback. Knowing very little about the condutive properties of a wet fish Deciding that electrocution of the fish would be fun I held on the fish's tail and touched it to the electric fence. The first time I got just a tiny tingle in my fingers and dropped the fish. The second time, I really got a good dose and could not let go. I finally pulled away after a second or two. My whole arm was numb for about 5 minutes after. To this day I am very resepectful of electricity and still hate those sucker fish.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    You realize that if you held the fish's tail and held it to the fence you did not electrocute the fish cause the current only passed through the tail on it's way to ground via your arm and body.

    Modern electric fences are pulsed so that if it is too much current to let go of there is a break in the current before the next hit.

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    You are what you eat.

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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    icemang
    iceman
    Member # 1313

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 03:41 PM
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    Okay, that reminds me of another unsmart thing I have done. We moved into our new house about three years ago, and we put in one a them invisible fences to keep the dogs in. At the time we had one real old dog and two young 'uns.

    So a couple days later, the old dog wanders up to the top of the driveway, gets shocked, and he just sits down, scratching at the collar with his hind leg, shaking and whimpering. I run over, pull him off the fence (to the outside of the fence, key point) and take his collar off.

    Well, he has no interest in going back where he just got shocked, so I pull him back onto the property, with the collar in my hand. And, um, with the electrodes touching my skin. Long story short, those collars hurt like a bitch.

    Now, this would be just an average little unsmart thing if, and god is my witness on this, the EXACT SAME THING didn't happen the very next day.

    Only took me twice, I'm trained now.

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    Mrs. America tell me how is your favorite son.
    And do you really care what he has done?

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    Posts: 2960 | From: Elsewhere. | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Vinman
    Member
    Member # 1316

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 04:04 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Beaver:
    [QUOTE]You realize that if you held the fish's tail and held it to the fence you did not electrocute the fish cause the current only passed through the tail on it's way to ground via your arm and body.

    Modern electric fences are pulsed so that if it is too much current to let go of there is a break in the current before the next hit.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Yes I realise this, 20 soemthing years ago I had no idea how electricity worked. I found that out the hard way I guess. And as with Iceman it ONLY took me twice to figure it out.

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    fighting gravity on a daily basis

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    Posts: 170 | From: on my bike | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted March 14, 2003 04:10 PM
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    My brother (the non maggot one) pissed on an electric fence once. Pretty funny from where I was standing.

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    You are what you eat.

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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Sepu Kangri
    Member
    Member # 2182

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 04:30 PM
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    LOL.
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    Posts: 38 | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    rock*
    Member
    Member # 1354

    posted March 14, 2003 04:50 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by Beaver:
    You realize that if you held the fish's tail and held it to the fence you did not electrocute the fish cause the current only passed through the tail on it's way to ground via your arm and body.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    So, why did his arm get fried? Seems that if his arm felt the juice, the fish did too, no?
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    Posts: 277 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    powndnstein
    Member
    Member # 2093

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 05:14 PM
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    Haole Von Staole and I dropped orange sunshine at Oktober Fest in Munich in 69. I still have the woodcarving which commemmorates this event of incredible stupidity and beer consumption.
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    Posts: 159 | From: schneedorf | Registered: Jan 2003 | IP: Logged

    icemang
    iceman
    Member # 1313

    Member Rated:
    posted March 14, 2003 05:25 PM
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    My little bro, after ten years in Maui, came back to the frozen wasteland of Boston. He got tags for his jeep that said "HAOLE".

    The Mass. State Trooper that pulled him over for speeding a few days later said, "Son, whut in the hell's a Hay-Oh-Lee?"

    Not that unsmart, but funny to me.

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    Mrs. America tell me how is your favorite son.
    And do you really care what he has done?

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    Posts: 2960 | From: Elsewhere. | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Spats
    Member
    Member # 1489

    Member Rated:
    posted August 18, 2003 03:59 PM
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    I walked in on a Hells Angel taking a dump.

    (It was a one-holer and the door lock didn't work.)

    Fortunately everyone was in a good mood and the incident was quickly forgotten.
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    Posts: 305 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    AntiSoCalSkier
    Member
    Member # 1312

    Member Rated:
    posted August 18, 2003 04:53 PM
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    I was just reading through this again, and I have to ask:

    Iceman - Where were you last week during that giant blackout?
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    Posts: 494 | From: Just north of South Central | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Vinz Clortho
    Member
    Member # 2350

    Member Rated:
    posted September 13, 2003 07:45 PM
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    BMUP!!!! for the love of Ullr bmup this thread back up to the top!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    16

    Post

    PG 9

    laseranimal
    Member
    Member # 1483

    Member Rated:
    posted September 13, 2003 08:23 PM
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    bump

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    Gentlemen you can't fight in here this is the War Room!

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    Posts: 966 | From: Second Star to the Right....... | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Diggy
    Junior Member
    Member # 3379

    Rate Member posted September 13, 2003 11:48 PM
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    On 4th of July when I was 15, my friends and I were getting ready for fireworks at my friend's house before heading down to the lake. We were piros and along with our fireworks we were gathering up WD-40, matches, lighters, starter fluid, and anything we could make bombs with. While we were preparing, one of my friends spilled starter fluid all over the backside of his jeans. We had finished preparing and were sitting around waiting for my friends parents to drive us to the lake. While we were sitting, I was playing with one of those long trigger lighters, just clicking it on and off. Well my friend who was soaked with lighter fluid was standing with his back to me. I looked back and forth at the lighter and his starter fluid soaked jeans and I don't know why, but I did. I pointed the lighter and pulled the trigger and his pants immediately engulfed in flames. He took off running in circles and screaming. He then turned and looked at me glared and ran straight toward me and jumped on me ass first. I caught on fire for a couple seconds but quickly batted it out. He continued to run around for nearly 30 more seconds until me and my other friend yelled at him to roll in the dirt. That finally put it out.

    Remember: Stop, Drop, and Roll

    --------------------
    Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically it's made up of two seperate words -"mank" and "ind". What do these two words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

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    Posts: 21 | From: Issaquah, WA | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged

    Diggy
    Junior Member
    Member # 3379

    Rate Member posted September 14, 2003 12:23 AM
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    Also we almost killed this guy at a party Junior year of HS. He was passed out sitting on the sofa in the living room, so we were covering him with all sorts of shyt that we could find in the kitchen. Peanutbutter, mayo, mustard, ketchup, spagetti, beer, you name it. Anyways we were too shyt faced to realize he can't breath with a inch of crap covering his mouth and nose.
    When we did realize we started to scrape the shyt off with a spatula and tried to wake him up. He wouldn't wake up so we got a tarp and started trying to drag him to the bathroom to wash his face out. This was no easy task since no one wanted to touch him cause he was covered in shyt and he was a big guy 6'2" 220 roughly, and the biggest facking head of anyone I know.(They had to get a custom made helmet for him for football)They finally rolled him onto the tarp and got him to the bathroom and put him in the tub but he still wouldn't wake up. One guy was even screaming his name at him for over a 1/2 hour. We were all scared shyless b/c we thought he was dead and we were all screwed. Luckily, he finally woke up and didn't even seem to care that he was in a bathtub covered in all sorts of shyt and had almost died.

    This same kid drank a fifth of vodka by himself locked in his room while his parents were downstairs. His dad found him passed out and drove him to the hospital where he had stomach pumped.

    --------------------
    Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically it's made up of two seperate words -"mank" and "ind". What do these two words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

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    Posts: 21 | From: Issaquah, WA | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged

    ak_powder_monkey
    Member
    Member # 1589

    Member Rated:
    posted September 14, 2003 12:29 AM
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    I asked out my best friend (note: she was a girl and had no penis) now she doesn't talk to me

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    Everybody Chant: ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR

    Team Winnin' Ugly Alaska

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    Posts: 527 | From: Eagle River, Alaska | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    DJSapp
    Member
    Member # 1492

    Member Rated:
    posted September 14, 2003 12:53 AM
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    My 23rd birthday. My mates (three were there) and I killed a 15 pack of beer, 3 liter box of wine, and some vodka, and attempted to head out to the strip clubs. Unknown to us, none of the strip clubs (or much else) are open on sunday night. So we head to the first one, closed. We head toward where the second one might be, and attempt to consult a phone book.

    Mate #1 "Hey there's a phone booth, let's find the address... [flip flip flip] s#it! I can't read a damn word of this"

    Me "Let me try [squint] FACK! I can't read either!"

    The ensuing hysterics leave the two of us to fall out of the phone booth and onto the ground laughing. The other guys pick us up, memory gets fuzzy.

    Fast forward approximately 12 minutes.

    We're walking back to the Y with some BK in hand, and start to cross the bridge over the Avon River. I'm not sure how it started, but quickly it became

    Mate #2 "So you'll give me $10 to jump off the bridge into the river?"

    Random guy "yeah, I'll kick in $20 too"

    Mate #1 "Hey, you should take your shoes off"

    Mate #3 "that's a really bad idea" as he stares at the debris in the river

    Me [drunk as fack, leaning on rail for vertical assistance]

    More debating insues, the pot gets up to $60 for him to go over, and it's starting to sound like he's not going to do it. Everyone else starts talking big and making him feel bad, but allowing him to bow out gracefully. So before any of us have any clue that Mate #2 is serious about jumping (I think it was his idea to start with), he's already over the rail and jumping 20+ ft down into knee deep water, complete with beer bottles and rocks to cushion his landing.

    The next morning I took him to the hospital to get his foot checked out. He's ok, just badly bruised his heel.

    Awesome birthday.

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    Sportin' the sweetest goggle tan in NorCal

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    Posts: 384 | From: The end of a T1 line | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    - 13 -
    Member
    Member # 1399

    Member Rated:
    posted September 14, 2003 09:33 AM
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    ... and then there was the time when my neighbor and I played joust/swords on top of the swingset, with our legs wrapped around the cross-beam.

    Since it was 12 ft. off the ground, it was a miracle none of us broke any bones when we knocked each other off and fell to the turf below.

    His mom was baby-sitting me that day and when she finally caught on, she came outside screaming at us to "knock it off!" "Knock it off!" I took it quite literally and did my best Canseco impression and rocked a blow her son's left ribcage with my orange Wham-O bat and knocked him off the crossbeam right in front of her eyes.

    I remember thinking I was gonna get the whuppin' of my life after seeing the look on her face, so I sat up there for 20 minutes while she tried to coax me down. All she ended up doing was make me promise not to tell my mom. After looking us over for bruises, she bought us our favorite red, white, and blue rocket popsicles.

    I still have that Wham-O bat at home in the garage. Every time I look at it, I shake my head and wonder how I survived childhood after doing so much stupid sh-t.

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    Not one time, but TWO TIME! - Beam Team
    -=(13)=-

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    Posts: 892 | From: It looks like your hand. | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    beaver
    Member
    Member # 1272

    posted September 15, 2003 01:19 PM
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    I was out drinking on Thursday and there were two 22 Y.O. hotties with hoola hoops hoola hooping. I got up and gave it a try and sucked. I got talking to the girls and one of them tells me it's easier to learn naked. Then she asked me if I would like to go to her place for some hoola hoop practice. I turned her down. I couldn't facking believe it.

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    You are what you eat.

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    Posts: 1029 | From: Kootenays | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    ubersheist
    Member
    Member # 1180

    Member Rated:
    posted September 15, 2003 04:45 PM
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    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by beaver:
    I was out drinking on Thursday and there were two 22 Y.O. hotties with hoola hoops hoola hooping. I got up and gave it a try and sucked. I got talking to the girls and one of them tells me it's easier to learn naked. Then she asked me if I would like to go to her place for some hoola hoop practice. I turned her down. I couldn't facking believe it.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I think Beaver takes the cake for Unsmart Things Done!!!!

    I don't think I've posted this story yet (no search returns), so I'll relay it to y'all now:

    When I was about ten years old, I thought the Dukes of Hazard were the bomb. I wanted to do the super cool slide thing across the hood of the car like they did. Our garage was set up alright for it. The laundry room tee-d right off of the garage, so I could get a good run at it.

    The first attempt didn't go too well. I just stopped half way and rolled onto my stomach. The second time went better. I made it all the way across, but just rolled onto the garage slab.

    Here's the thing - I didn't really think about the landing. I just assumed I'd slide across on my butt like the Duke Boys and just put my feet down on the other side and instantly come to a complete stop. You'd think I'd have thought about it after my first failed attempt, but...

    The real pain didn't occur when I hen I rolled off the car and hit the ground on the other side. In the process, I hit up against the shelves in the garage and knocked over a jar of tacks precariously placed on the edge of the shelf. The went EVERYWHERE. When I tried to get up, I got two stuck in my hand and one in my knee. That hurt like HELL! It may have been stupid to even try, but I had enough brains not to try it again.

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    "On a skiing [message] board, I'm sure you realize the necessity of being able to do an effective search for the word 'transvestite.'" - Dexter Rutecki

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    Posts: 468 | From: The Nether Regions of Hell | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

    cameltoe
    Member
    Member # 2402

    Rate Member posted September 15, 2003 08:14 PM
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    when i get drunk, i am no longer tyler devine, i become boon, well, one night, two days before i moved up here for college a "bye bye tyty party" was thrown boon got out at this party and left me injured. from what i've been told after tyler did a few keg stands and tequila chugging contests, boon came out and decided to fight a mailbox, and let me tell you boon gave that mailbox hell

    boon ended up breaking the 4x4 post that the mailbox was on in half, and ripping the metal mailbox in half, man, i had no idea that boon had it in him

    now, this isn't to say the mailbox didn't scuffle back, because it did, and it gave one hell of an effort, as boon walked back to the party, he was greeted by many a gasp and "oh my god! what happened to your arm?" 's. he ignored this until one of his good friends took him aside and had a good look at it, apparently that damned mailbox had given up a pretty good effort during it's demise, seeing as how the hole in boon's arm looked like a large vagina during it's period with a piece of steak underneath

    well, after some convincing, boon eventually allowed somebody to drive him to the hospital, when he got there, everything went pretty well, then the hospital staff started treating him not nicely, as enebriation is not looked upon very highly, not to mention it had made him bleed like a stuck pig

    so, after verbal scuffles with the hospital people, they decided not to allow the boon the opportunity to get stitched up, because he was being difficult, so, boon, only in a pair of shorts and boxers, no shirt or shoes, decided to escape the hospital (not the first time boon has taken flight from a hospital when he was given a hard time) he ran, bare foot for about 6 miles

    somewhere along the way, i forget where, ditched the bangages, and at the end of some guy's (who neither boon or tyler had ever met or seen in their lives) drive way, he lost his shorts, with his id and other important things inside, the boon then decided to crawl into this man's blazer and doze

    when i, tyler, woke up, the interior was all bloody, and my arm was looking really not good basically as wide as the cut was long, i walked down the street in a hungover stupor for about 3 miles, and found a lady getting into her car ready to leave for work, and i used her phone, all of this in my boxers, obviously, i hadn't found my shorts, i then called my brother to come pick me up, and waited for them

    immediately after that, i went to the hospital and received 7 stitches

    that was the dumbest thing boon and i have ever done
    i took the stitches out a week ago
    P8230010.jpg

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    "Think of us as erotic politicians." Jim Morrison

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    Posts: 79 | From: UAA | Registered: Feb 2003 | IP: Logged

    ak_powder_monkey
    Member
    Member # 1589

    Member Rated:
    posted September 16, 2003 09:10 PM
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    bump

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    Everybody Chant: ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR ULLR

    Team Winnin' Ugly Alaska

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    Posts: 527 | From: Eagle River, Alaska | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    ORskiBum
    Junior Member
    Member # 3454

    Rate Member posted September 16, 2003 10:42 PM
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    the morning after prom I wake up at the bottom of my buddy's stairwell. I go around the house ya know, trying to find out why I smell kinda funny and also why I have no clothes on. I walk up the stairs and go into my friends room where some guys are playing video games.
    "What the fuuuuuck happened to you last night?" one of em asks me.
    "Sheit, I dunno really...fell asleep with no clothes on?" hell its worth a try.
    "Uh no. Look behind you." they say. I turn around and my friend's bed has no sheets on it. Also, there is a huge stain of what smells a lot like urine. Fack...pissed the bed. Just then my friend (whose bed this is) walks in the room looking a lot like hes gunna cut me.
    "Im gunna fakin kill you" he says...
    Apearently, after a long night of some heavy drinking (i pounded a fifth of tequila in one chug, or so they tell me) I have to get put in a cold shower cause Ive puked all over myself and am in hardcore pass-out mode. Eventually I'm put in a bed and fall asleep.
    Well, at some point in the night I wake up, walk to my friends room, lift up his sheets and continue to piss all over him. hes asleep, and for some reason doesnt wake up till its all done. Finally he gets up and kicks my ass, then throws me down the stairs.
    side note: someone else took a **** on a chair in his living room that night.
    side note 2: I also pissed on his wall in his living room one time
    side note 3: I drank out of a bottle he had pissed in a few weeks later...salty!

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    The truely great things in this world come in pairs: skis, breasts, and the olsen twins.

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    Posts: 17 | From: Eugene/Ashland, OR | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged

    soulrider25
    Member
    Member # 2971

    Member Rated:
    posted September 16, 2003 11:53 PM
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    One time after ingesting some illegal substances at a Dead concert, I soaked a few tennis balls in gas and lit them on fire. It is cool as **** to see them on the street, they make noise when you kick em. But it wasn't the smartest thing to do in the middle of a neighborhood. I also decided to light a little fire in the street too.

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    "License??, This is a License to Thrill!"
    -Glen Plake

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    Posts: 102 | From: Northern VA | Registered: Jun 2003 | IP: Logged

    soulrider25
    Member
    Member # 2971

    Member Rated:
    posted September 16, 2003 11:56 PM
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    I also had the misfortune of sampling some female genitalia after it had been out dancing all night.

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    "License??, This is a License to Thrill!"
    -Glen Plake

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    Posts: 102 | From: Northern VA | Registered: Jun 2003 | IP: Logged

    crystalextreme
    Member
    Member # 1415

    Member Rated:
    posted September 17, 2003 02:43 AM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by soulrider25:
    I also had the misfortune of sampling some female genitalia after it had been out dancing all night.
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    thanks for sharing, no really, thanks alot. i think im gonna go brush my teeth just for reading this.

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    "mountains dont kill people, they just sit there"

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    Posts: 208 | From: Salt Lake | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    Tad McCowskiJr
    Member
    Member # 1526

    Member Rated:
    posted September 17, 2003 06:44 PM
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    One time in the basement in my house I mixed turpentine and several other flammable liquids in a coffee can and soon had flamming mobile flame a boiling in the can after droing in a match. Took it out and poured it on a boulder in my backyard. Flames swept all over the rock and to the leaves below. Good thing it was a rainy fall.
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    Posts: 112 | From: On the slopes of the K-12 | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged

    xboat
    Member
    Member # 759

    Member Rated:
    posted September 17, 2003 07:05 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by soulrider25:
    I also had the misfortune of sampling some female genitalia after it had been out dancing all night.
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    three drops
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    Posts: 705 | From: not there | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    sea2ski
    Member
    Member # 693

    Rate Member posted September 18, 2003 01:23 PM
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    quote:
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    Originally posted by xboat:

    quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Originally posted by soulrider25:
    I also had the misfortune of sampling some female genitalia after it had been out dancing all night.
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    three drops
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    This reminds me of a story I remember hearing in High School. This guy had to shave his mustache off because he went down on the wrong girl and just couldn't get the smell out with just shampoo.
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    Posts: 169 | From: Stamford,CT | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

    Spats
    Member
    Member # 1489

    Member Rated:
    posted October 01, 2003 06:45 PM
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    BUMP

    Someone save this thread to their own computer...I've only got net access through work right now.

    Unfortunately Part II is gone, as is "The Really Bad Roomate Thread" -- one of the other classics.

    I am really pissed off right now. Those threads were GENIUS, and now they're gone.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    5,904
    Bump for the mini. Fokkers!!!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    SF
    Posts
    3,638

    Thumbs up

    claw end dude. claw end.
    Craig Kelly is my co-pilot.

    Buy Your Lift Tickets in Advance and Save

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Under the bridge, down by the river
    Posts
    4,604
    I'm going to add the falling asleep behind the wheel as my most unsmart thing to date.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    348
    Can't say this was smart by any means. My friend and I had stumbled upon the lost art of the potato canon. We found it interesting, made a few, launched some spuds, then we got a great idea, a super canon. So we started, it ended up about 8 feet long and just wide enough for a pop can, so we naturally decided to launch full soda cans. So here we are filling our chamber with acetyline (used in welding torches) for about 12 or 15 seconds. We mount it on our shoulders and my buddy pulls the trigger, we didn't even think about the can exploding but it did, along with our canon. The aluminum shrapnel ended up all over, most notably in his moms caddy, and the pvc was lodged everywhere including my friends leg and my back. I had to go to the ER with a peice of potato canon stuck in my back, not an easy story to explain to your mom!!
    "I have never exploded. But I know what it would be like. Don't ask me how. I just know. I've always just known." -Garth Merenghi

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    ‹berville, with the ‹berites!
    Posts
    2,511
    BUMP 'cause theres some good shit on this thread...
    Fighting foot fungus one public bath house at a time!

    My site

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Eagle River Alaska
    Posts
    10,892
    bwahahahahaha

    I got a buddy who was welding with his fly undone we make fun of him to this day. About a week later he came over and we were chillin tying flies or something and he mentioned he had lit his crotch on fire (welding) that afternoon...
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    124
    claw end dude. claw end.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Time2clmbistan
    Posts
    1,766
    Im about 14. my friend is over at my house and we are watching a movie!
    Phone rings!
    I get up and answer ( no cordless in those days) "hello"
    No response! ( I think its a crank call and just hang up)
    I settle back in to my couch and restart movie!
    Phone rings again!
    I get up, pick up the handset ( figuring its the crank caller again) and scream into the phone: "FUCK OFF". Then hang up with authority.

    I settle back into my couch and restart movie!
    My friend quietly says " dood, what if that was your mom"

    Phone rings again!
    I get up and answer " Hello"................

    Its my mom and she is NOT happy!
    Last edited by Huckin eh?; 01-01-2008 at 10:00 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldo View Post
    what happened to Shadam this year? Usually by now he is posting drinking reports daily.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    88
    In high school, some friends and I decided to build a catapult, a trebuchet to be more precise. I suppose you could count the fact that built it mostly out of beams we pulled from the roof of his barn as unsmart, or the two (yes - 2) trips we had to make to the ER after someone dropped one of the three 250+ pound weights we using as counterweights (suspended in place with two $10 ratchet straps from Wally world) on a foot could probably count as unsmart as well.

    But I think the most truly unsmart thing about it was our first test run. In the end we never did get the thing throwing straight, but for our first shot we loaded up a cement cinder block and let her fly, full force. The cinder block shot straight up into the air, far enough that it was barely visible. We all sprinted for shelter in the barn 20 or so feet away, and a few seconds later the cinder block came crashing down through the roof of the barn and through the floor not ten feet from where we were standing.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,097
    My dad and I floated the kitchen sink in a fishing rig without any experience... that was pretty far up there in the stupidity charts

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    4

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Califoolya
    Posts
    99
    Grass Skied down my back hill... Strained my acl and was out for a month.

    Wrecked both of my cars numerous times as well as my parents. All times I was under the influence.

    Played war with bb guns.

    Been chased by crazy rednecks after going car fishing and "catching" their truck.

    Ruined someone's front drivetrain doing the good old ducktape trick.

    Given my self too many cuncossions to count.

    Can't spell worth a shit

    Rode a pair of demo skis thru a village one time... Returned them without bases.

    Lost hearing for a week cause I wanted to blow up a pear.

    Dislocated my shoulder 15 times... Guess I'll never learn.

    Snapped a pair of skis trying to add rocker to a perfectly good set of skis.

    Broken too many windows to count.

    Yea I grew up in a small town and we had to keep ourselves busy somehow. Makes for lots of good stories I guess.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    is Gorges
    Posts
    4,116
    Quote Originally Posted by Gobig21 View Post

    Wrecked both of my cars numerous times as well as my parents.
    Were your parents known for their skill at wrecking cars?

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jack Tone Road
    Posts
    12,822
    Krazy Glued myself to a vacuum cleaner yesterday while trying to fix it.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Spokane/Schweitzer
    Posts
    5,093
    So I thought I would go get my car washed during lunch today, on the way to a meeting. I pull into the automated car wash, pay the cashier, put it in neutral, foot off the brake, and side mirrors retracted. Once in the wash bay, I'm playing around on my phone, music up loud to drown out the noise of the machinery, not really paying attention.


    I like to un-retract the mirrors when I get to the rinse cycle so, absent-mindedly push the button but, wrong button. Instead, I hit the driver's side window button. It takes a second but then...Aw shit! In my panic, I go to hit the button again but manage to hit the passenger side window button so now, both windows are going down and I get a good douching. Finally managed to get both windows up and spent the next ten minutes wiping down the inside of my car. At least the dash, seats, and console are now clean. Plus, it's kind of hot out and the rinse-down was rather refreshing.


    Brilliant!!

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    the Can-Utardia / LMCC VT
    Posts
    11,000
    Last night I discovered that I had left the oven on since last thursday night. I was out of town for the weekend. Ooops.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hohes View Post
    I couldn't give a fuck, but today I am procrastinating so TGR is my filler.
    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    faceshots are a powerful currency
    get paid

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