Bacon appreciation thread

**mrryde** · 09-30-2005, 01:28 PM

Some Bacon and an egg walk into a bar.

The bartender stops them and says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast in here."

**mrryde** · 09-30-2005, 01:29 PM

A guy walks into a doctor's office.He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear.He says worriedly, "Doc, what's wrong with me?!?"

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

**Vinman** · 09-30-2005, 01:30 PM

use bacon grease to make popcorn. ummmmmm..................

**el_jefe** · 09-30-2005, 01:30 PM

"more bacon" was my mantra for a solid 2 years at least. needless to say, it came in handy while chasing LIP up steep singletrack climbs and b/c slogs.

recently, its been replaced by "donuts - what can't they do". go figure.

**72Twenty** · 09-30-2005, 01:31 PM

Dogs don't know it's not bacon.

**mrryde** · 09-30-2005, 01:32 PM

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I sure of eet!"

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to mee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget."

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon .. ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that... Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down is his tracks.

It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis, mi amigo...what ees eet?" "Speek to me!"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....

"Ees...
*
*
*
* Ees...
*
*
*
* ........ a Ham Bush!"

**bad_roo** · 09-30-2005, 01:33 PM

I'd eat them Beggin' Strips. They sound too good to waste on a dog.

**A-wreck** · 09-30-2005, 01:37 PM

Bacon is fucking awsome.

**Baconzoo** · 09-30-2005, 01:40 PM

I wanted to name my kids: (xxxxx) Bacon
Chris P.
Megan
Hamon

A good friend of mine in NZ named his kid Max Butt

**Schmear** · 09-30-2005, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by bad_roo

Weird. I've always maintained that bacon (along with tea) is one thing you Yanks get catastrophically wrong. Those deep fried shards of saturated fat pictured above are heresy. Some proper Danish bacon that's succulent and meaty is the answer.

That kind of bacon is available over here, too (and it's goooood). The problem is it doesn't easily fit under a hamburger bun.

**mista** · 09-30-2005, 01:44 PM

This thread has made me hungry...

I'm off to get a chicken breast, stuff it with blue cheese and wrap it in a couple of rashers of BACON, before putting it in the oven YUM.

**Baconzoo** · 09-30-2005, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by A-wreck

Bacon is fucking awsome.

A woman once shut me down in saying, "Doesn't Bacon shrivel when it gets hot?"
I should have said, "No, do you want to taste my eggs?"

School sayings:
Were you born on a chopping block?
Is your Mama a pig?
Sizzlelean!

**bad_roo** · 09-30-2005, 01:46 PM

**p.blz** · 09-30-2005, 01:51 PM

I'm a big fan of bacon too.

If you ever wanna try something fun....fry up a coupla pounds, put it on a nice platter, and bring it to the next potluck dinner you go to.

It's especially fun if it's a hippy kinda crowd where most of the dishes are things like quenoa, tabouli, lentils, hummous, etc.

I do it all the time and it's usually the first dish to be completely gone.

**shane-o** · 09-30-2005, 01:52 PM

Bacon is incredible. Eggs cooked in the grease left behind by the frying bacon provide one of breakfast's greatest pleasures.

On a backpacking trip last summer I found myself craving bacon dipped in mayonnaise. It might sound weird, but that's just a BLT without the toast, L, and T. Ideally the bacon would have been crispy and sufficiently strong to scoop a healthy amount of mayo for each bite. I didn't get to try it, and in hindsight I think it was just a cleverly disguised fat craving. Shoot, now I'm hungry.

**runethechamp** · 09-30-2005, 01:57 PM

Try making pancakes in the leftover bacon grease. Yum.

**Tippster** · 09-30-2005, 01:57 PM

Smithfield Pepper cured Bacon is some fine eatin'.

**Schmear** · 09-30-2005, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by shane-o

Ideally the bacon would have been crispy and sufficiently strong

This I think is the correct way bacon should be prepared--crisp enough to remain straight when held vertically but not in any way burned. Soggy bacon is OK but not desireable.

**72Twenty** · 09-30-2005, 01:59 PM

**runethechamp** · 09-30-2005, 02:05 PM

I think I read an article in some skiing magazine some years ago where the well known nutritionist Glen Plake said that bacon was a good skiing breakfast because you need all the calories you can get when you go skiing.

**acostiga** · 09-30-2005, 02:05 PM

peameal bacon... mmmm. one of canada's greatest gifts to the world.

**PNWbrit** · 09-30-2005, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by bad_roo

Weird. I've always maintained that bacon (along with tea) is one thing you Yanks get catastrophically wrong. Those deep fried shards of saturated fat pictured above are heresy. Some proper Danish bacon that's succulent and meaty is the answer.

So true - a major food group reduced to a garnish for sandwiches and salads.

God save the Queen, the good old bacon butty dripping with HP sauce and a big mug of PG tips.

**mrryde** · 09-30-2005, 02:10 PM

This is the best bacon thread ever

**2NAZ** · 09-30-2005, 02:13 PM

"I get up every morning, smoke a cigarette and eat 5 strips of bacon. For lunch I have a bacon sandwich and for a mid afternoon snack I have a whole slab of bacon. They say it was all the wrong things, eating bacon, drinking and smoking cigs, but Im proving them all wrong."

--Burgess Merrideth
Grumpy Old Men