Probably a shit place for advice, but here I am...

[MNazWIcoWA]

I wasnt really sure where to post this, but Im looking for some advice about my (I am a 34 male) current relationship - or more generally, relationships for people who are really into skiing, mountain biking, or other outdoor activities that tie you to a specific place. Has anyone here ever ended a relationship because your partner didnt share the same level of passion for those activities? As I imagine this forum is mostly (or all) men..are there women out there equally passionate about those activities?


This might sound a bit selfish, but Im not asking for advice about growing up or putting other priorities first. I dont have kids, and Im not planning on having any (my partner and I are both on the same page there). Ive worked hard to build a career thats flexible and pays well, so I can make skiing, mountain biking, and climbing a big part of my life. The reason Im asking is because my partner recently asked me to move from the PNW (we live in a mountain town, close to skiing, mountain biking, and climbing) to Minnesota, where our family and a lot of our friends are.

[m2711c]

There is good skiing in Minnesota. And there are airports in Minnesota that can take you to good skiing in other places. Having said that, I can tell you it fucking sucks if your partner doesnt enjoy the activities that you enjoy. If its something you spend a significant amount of time doing and they dont enjoy doing it then you are gonna be spending a significant amount of time without your partner. How your partner deals with that is going to make a big difference in your lives going forward. In other words, if it is a problem now, it is probably not gonna get any better over time.

[Harry]

We need pics of your GF’s tits before we can give you advice.

[Shredhead]

My wife and I met in college, but reignited our relationship in Aspen.
She blew her knee out and moved back to Chicago, to work in the family business.
I was > 30, had family there as well and ended up moving there a year later.
The plan was have kids, make a million and move back to Aspen in ten years. We were very naive.
It took us twenty five.

My wife is very good skier, but doesn't like cold. She's a fair weather skier and doesn't really ride bikes. I ski everyday the lifts are open and ride bikes everyday, year round.

Today is our 36th anniversary!
You don't have to do everything, together.

[toast2266]

There is not a chance in hell that I'd move from the PNW to Minnesota. Being close to family is overrated, *especially* if kids aren't in the picture.

That said I have plenty of friends that have shopped for a partner in their late 30's / 40's, and that's not an enviable situation to be in. Seems like everyone's set in their ways at that point, so finding a good match is difficult.

So I think the question you should ask yourself is: would I rather continue to do the activities that I love, or would I rather be single?

(Yes you can continue to bike / ski in Minnesota, but it sucks. And yes, you can find another partner in the PNW, but you should count on it being a very difficult process).

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[Core Shot]

Minnesota is a deal breaker. Otherwise yes it is possible to have a non ski partner but having one is way more fun.

[Vt-Freeheel]

<p>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OymMl734Ews</p>

[TBS]

Somebody on this forum lived in the PNW, really into skiing and MTB.
He moved with his wife to MSP area so she could get an advanced degree.
He said the lack of mountains was soul sucking.
Wife finished her degree and they split up shortly thereafter.
He’s back in PNW and happy.

FWIW. YMMV

[fastfred]

yes

[fastfred]

so there is this guy who posts on here regularlythe jist I get is he moved to the midwest he hates his life he blames everyone and everything for where he is at these daysdon't be that guy

[yeahman]

Live near skiing, travel to see family.

I think it's important to at least share some activities with your wife. My wife is an intermediate downhill skier and does not rock climb, which was my passion before I met her. However she is a great hiker, peak bagger (as long as there is nothing scary), sea kayaker, XC skier, loves floating rivers and camping. So I quit rock climbing, I ski solo eighty percent of the time(which I love and she is happy to have me gone), and we get to do a lot of other stuff together.

But the best thing about her is that she never wanted to move back to New Jersey where her family lives. Never even brought it up. That would be a deal breaker for me. I'm staying in Montana for the rest of my life.

[dan_pdx]

Personally I'd be hard pressed to make that move. I'm still kind of put out we moved back to Portland from Spokane. Offer to spend a few months in Minnesota every year during shoulder season.

[irul&ublo]

You got something against ice fishing and lutefisk junior?


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[Kevo]

What’s the deal with wanting to move? Is she wanting to move in order to put down roots for whatever she sees as the next chapter- kids, marriage, etc? You sure you’re on the same page about no kids? Is she wanting to be closer to aging relatives?

Any chance you could move key family members to your location?

How firmly rooted are you in your current location? Do you own a house? Do you have a solid community of friends including other people who are firmly rooted in your current location?

[MNazWIcoWA]

What&rsquo;s the deal with wanting to move? Is she wanting to move in order to put down roots for whatever she sees as the next chapter- kids, marriage, etc? You sure you&rsquo;re on the same page about no kids? Is she wanting to be closer to aging relatives? Any chance you could move key family members to your location? How firmly rooted are you in your current location? Do you own a house? Do you have a solid community of friends including other people who are firmly rooted in your current location?

She sees MN as potentially permanent because of the family and friends we have there. She is very close with both. The drive for moving is partly due to that, but also due to her wanting to be in more of a city. And yes she is 100% no kids and was before we met. She wouldnt even agree to go on a date with me until her friend (a mutual friend) convinced her I was also 100% no kids. We honestly have the ultimate lifestyle to be able to move wherever. We both work remote, have no kids, don&#39;t own a home currently, etc. We are not firmly rooted where we currently are, but have a friend group and enjoy the area (central WA).

[XXX-er]

Has anyone here ever ended a relationship because your partner didnt share the same level of passion for those activities?







I would say its ground zero for the perfect place to find out !

[skaredshtles]

Moving BACK to the Midwest?

[Mudfoot]

You appear to be asking about permenently trading your current lifestyle for your past life with family and friends. Are you sorry you left? If not, you will regret going back. Oh yeah, you can count on them to constantly pressure her to have kids.

[riser4]

We need pics of your GF’s tits before we can give you advice.

The importance of this can not be stressed strongly enough. Without this crucial piece of information, all of our opinions are useless.

[Kevo]

How realistic would it be for you to buy a house and become firmly rooted where you are?

At a certain point it is hard to be stoked about a really awesome but unrooted lifestyle. Odds of being able to stick it out in mountain town rental market indefinitely are very slim.

Any chance she sees that and is having a hard time envisioning how it would work in the long run?

[XXX-er]

I never been to the midwest but it sounds like alberta AKA Mordor

[dan_pdx]

A buddy who's an outstanding skier and snowboarder split from his long term gf in his late 30s or early 40s because she was tired of waiting for a ring. Now he's a bachelor in his 60s. So I think the guy upthread who said it's hard to find a new partner after a certain age had a good point.

Are you considering marriage? If not, live where you want. If you see her as a potential life partner, you need to find a compromise that you can both live with... Which means neither of you gets everything you want. Agree with other posters that boob shots are needed to make a more concrete recommendation

[toast2266]

She sees MN as potentially permanent because of the family and friends we have there. She is very close with both. The drive for moving is partly due to that, but also due to her wanting to be in more of a city.

Would moving to a larger city that still has access to skiing / biking be a compromise she'd be interested in?

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[stuckathuntermtn]

Never go eastward.

[skaredshtles]

Never go eastward.

I would not go that far... but would suggest if you ARE heading eastward, keep going until you hit the Alps.