Gwyneth Paltrow Ski Trial

[riser4]

Nina fucking Hartley.

*drops mic

Wash well before use.

[JimmyCarter]

Goop well before use.

FIFY

[EWG]

Of all the threads I’ve ever started on TRG, this one is quickly becoming my most recent favorite.

I think we are doing fine. Nothing to be ashamed of, certainly, and excellent compared to every other news outlet covering the story. But honestly, given the comedy potential of the source material, I feel like we should have higher standards. I'm awarding the thread so far about a 7/10, and I'm concerned that might be slightly high. Based on the standards to which we have become accustomed here, I'd say the absolute floor of the level we should be attaining here is about a 8.5/10, or maybe a 9.

I mean, good lord, this is right in our wheel house. There's celebrities, ski accidents, an aggrieved party that is essentially a dentist, losing a half day of skiing, an incident location where probably 20 of our members have been within the last few weeks, attorneys, falling down on snow, Goop, baked goods gift baskets, abrasions demanding compensation, fixing broken ribs with aquaseal eh, things that annoy and things that amuse us, physics, medical advice, toilet humor, first world problems, old man park skiing, trip reports, not paying attention to jongs while skiing - shit, it's like the trifecta times 10. This should be like shooting monkeys in a barrel for us. Seriously. Come on. Step it up.

Do better. Really. Have higher standards for yourselves. What's all this lying around stuff? What are you all still laying around for? What? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!

Now go on out there and raise the level. Get it done. There is HOF potential here, and nobody gets back inside until we get there. Go.

[Harry]

You forgot to list steam-cleaned hoo-haa‘s. That’s what brought me to this thread.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Danno]

And 50+ hotties

[BmillsSkier]

I think we are doing fine. Nothing to be ashamed of, certainly, and excellent compared to every other news outlet covering the story. But honestly, given the comedy potential of the source material, I feel like we should have higher standards. I'm awarding the thread so far about a 7/10, and I'm concerned that might be slightly high. Based on the standards to which we have become accustomed here, I'd say the absolute floor of the level we should be attaining here is about a 8.5/10, or maybe a 9.

I mean, good lord, this is right in our wheel house. There's celebrities, ski accidents, an aggrieved party that is essentially a dentist, losing a half day of skiing, an incident location where probably 20 of our members have been within the last few weeks, attorneys, falling down on snow, Goop, baked goods gift baskets, abrasions demanding compensation, fixing broken ribs with aquaseal eh, things that annoy and things that amuse us, physics, medical advice, toilet humor, first world problems, old man park skiing, trip reports, not paying attention to jongs while skiing - shit, it's like the trifecta times 10. This should be like shooting monkeys in a barrel for us. Seriously. Come on. Step it up.

Do better. Really. Have higher standards for yourselves. What's all this lying around stuff? What are you all still laying around for? What? Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!

Now go on out there and raise the level. Get it done. There is HOF potential here, and nobody gets back inside until we get there. Go.

[The AD]

Is that guy actually Bunny?

That's the dark side of pocket bacon: you could suffer broken ribs if you fall on it.

That would truly make the trial all-time: "Mr. Sanderson: did you or did you not have bacon in your pocket, positioned directly over your rib cage when the collision occurred?"

[TNKen]

Projection on the outcome

Say A & B crash their cars into each other at a red light. Person A says I had the green light, Person B says I had the green light. No independent witnesses. Both A & B are credible witnesses. A sues B, B counterclaims against A. Neither can carry their burden of proof "by a preponderance of the evidence" thus the jury comes back with a defense verdict on A's claim against B and B's claim against A.

Both of these idiots walk away with zilch.

Paltro looks like a fool but makes zillions off of the free goop publicity.

Doc looks like a fool but trademarks a ski company called Carpet to Carpet and makes zillions.

[BmillsSkier]

Projection on the outcome

Say A & B crash their cars into each other at a red light. Person A says I had the green light, Person B says I had the green light. No independent witnesses. Both A & B are credible witnesses. A sues B, B counterclaims against A. Neither can carry their burden of proof "by a preponderance of the evidence" thus the jury comes back with a defense verdict on A's claim against B and B's claim against A.

Both of these idiots walk away with zilch.

Paltro looks like a fool but makes zillions off of the free goop publicity.

Doc looks like a fool but trademarks a ski company called Carpet to Carpet and makes zillions.

And the bailiffs get snacks.

[fastfred]

not sure if this has been addressed

is gwyneth a) shaved smoothed b) neatly well trimmed c) running wild with a monster bush ?

[riser4]

not sure if this has been addressed

is gwyneth a) shaved smoothed b) neatly well trimmed c) running wild with a monster bush ?

Hoping for C, guessing A.

[huckbucket]

Billiard table ... duh

[AK47bp]

not sure if this has been addressed

is gwyneth a) shaved smoothed b) neatly well trimmed c) running wild with a monster bush ?

The answer is “B”your honor.

[The AD]

Despite the hippie slant to her Goop product range I'd put my money on smooth.

[CarlMega]

Despite the hippie slant to her Goop product range I'd put my money on smooth.

I'd wager on some sort of procedure done permanently vs. a commoners shaving or waxing.

[huckbucket]

Didn't have to be fucking Kojak to figure that one out.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebri...n-diaz-1882312

[TNKen]

And the bailiffs get snacks.

Treats, not snacks. Treats. Get it right.

This shitshow is embarrassing for the legit dental community.

[AK47bp]

If the GSA were there they’d have 37 different camera angles and all the rescue and 1st aid equipment needed. His disciples would have rendered immediate care.

Why has he forsaken us?

[GimpToo]

Jmho - guy was trying to get photo taken by so-called friend of him (doc) skiing behind G, lost control when facing camera trying to show his pearly whites and skied into her when she made an unexpected turn! Think it should be thrown out of court!

[Ted Striker]

Didn't have to be fucking Kojak to figure that one out.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebri...n-diaz-1882312

So (D) all of the above

And she's taller than 50 year old Amazonian Cameron Diaz? How could he not see her? ("yes your honor, I did hit Ms Paltrow's car in the parking lot, but in my defense, I am blind")

[Core Shot]

Actually it’s a little more pedestrian than that. Little Steven and Garth Brooks had a baby, but oddly he couldn’t make a go of it in the music biz, so he went into IT.

What I wanna know is when is Caitlyn Jenner gonna weigh in?

Attachment 453712

Gotta be coming soon.

Wow. Caitlyn had some nice sideburns.

Looking at boots and bindings, that pic is old.

PS. I’m thinking a nice V (or landing strip) pointing to the goop.

[Cono Este]

We have to remember, this douche bag has tied up county resources, court rooms, and if you e ever waited a yr for a court date, this is why.

If he loses, I pray he is forced to pay Gwen’s legal fees, but I doubt they’ll award that. He’s probably out 500k on lawyers by now anyway.

I’d say I’ll never ski PC again, but it’s the one place everything is free to me.

[The AD]

I’d say I’ll never ski PC again, but it’s the one place everything is free to me.

Why would this make you never ski PC again?

[senior researcher]

Gwyneth head shot stickers . She had me @ Half Day. Duets.https://youtu.be/Xo1DUMVt7NY

[Cono Este]

Why would this make you never ski PC again?

Sorry I meant DV, too many douche bags with lawyers.