NFL 2023-2024: Here's Hoping for Total Chaos

[Supermoon]

Peanut is a FBI agent now!?


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Little known fact, the FB in FBI stands for former-Bears

[lifelinksplit]

Little known fact, the FB in FBI stands for former-Bears

There's gotta be an incompetence joke in there somewhere.

Bears are starting to be like "hey Cleveland, hold my beer and watch this"

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[BmillsSkier]

Cleveland can only be the standard bearer for so many sports things, I’ll be damned if Chicago is gonna take one of those things away from us.

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

Are there some side bets going on between Cleveland, Indy, New Jersey and Chicago?

I mean, even Detroit and Washington have gotten their shit together.

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

Once again I ask, how much more the Niners could have gotten for Trey Lance if they held onto him a while longer?

[EWG]

Bears are starting to be like "hey Cleveland, hold my beer and watch this"

Puh-lease. They aren't even invited to the Cleveland tailgate, let alone allowed to drink a beer. Truly a class of their own.

Lest we forget, not only can't another team stake a claim that's even in the neighborhood, you can't even chose any individual category and have another team compete just on that topic! It's frankly amazing.

A sampler:
Only franchise to have multiple or consecutive seasons with 15 or more losses
Longest streak of not having a season with a positive point differential
Worst 4 season streak in NFL history
19 game winless streak
Have not started 2-0 since 1993
and it just goes on and on.

This one is nice - Cleveland Plain Dealer's compilation of the worst 7 Browns Collapses since they came back in 1999:

7. Browns blow 24-3 lead, lose game to Lions on final play in 2009
6. Leading the Steelers 14-0 in the first and 33-21 with 10 minutes left they still lost the wildcard game in 2002. Which doesn't sound awful till you realize that was one of only two times that they've been in the playoffs since 1994.
5. Browns led the Pack 21-0 in the third in 2017. They lost, of course, and this matters because that cemented the 0-16 record that year.
4. Browns led the Pats 26-14 with 2:39 left in 2013. They lost in regulation. To Belichick, their old coach.
3. 2002. Browns finally were going to win their first game of the season and go 1-0 for the first time since they came back. They had kicked a field goal to win it with 29 seconds left. Rudd for Cleveland took his helmet off to celebrate after the last play was over. Except it wasn't over because Rudd actually took off his helmet before time expired. Game can't end on a defensive penalty, so the Chiefs got one more down, and the 15 yard penalty moved them to the 30, and they kicked a field goal. Truly a creative way to lose.
2. Browns give up 2 touchdowns to the Jets in the last 1:55 of the game (after Cleveland missed an extra point to keep the lead at 13 points) to lose by 1. Getting into rare air here. This was last year, 2022. The last team to blow a lead this big in the last 2 minutes? Read the next one.
1. The last team to blow a lead like this was, of course, the Browns. In 2001 the Browns led 21-7 with 48 second left against the Bears. The Browns lost.

And this is only since they came back so the loss against the Vikings in the playoffs, Red Right 88, both AFC Championship games to Denver, etc, aren't even on the list.

As BMills says, we don't have much. But we have this. We are truly, demonstratably, cleary and consistently head and shoulders above every other professional sports team in sucking. It's not close. For fuck's sake, we are named after a goddamn color, and the most boring one at that.

So no, the Bears cannot hold the Browns' beer.

[lifelinksplit]

Lol. I knew that would get a reaction from you guys. It's just good to know another fan base so loyal to a team who continue to constantly disappoint. Cheers fellas!

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[BmillsSkier]

Puh-lease. They aren't even invited to the Cleveland tailgate, let alone allowed to drink a beer. Truly a class of their own.

Lest we forget, not only can't another team stake a claim that's even in the neighborhood, you can't even chose any individual category and have another team compete just on that topic! It's frankly amazing.

A sampler:
Only franchise to have multiple or consecutive seasons with 15 or more losses
Longest streak of not having a season with a positive point differential
Worst 4 season streak in NFL history
19 game winless streak
Have not started 2-0 since 1993
and it just goes on and on.

This one is nice - Cleveland Plain Dealer's compilation of the worst 7 Browns Collapses since they came back in 1999:

7. Browns blow 24-3 lead, lose game to Lions on final play in 2009
6. Leading the Steelers 14-0 in the first and 33-21 with 10 minutes left they still lost the wildcard game in 2002. Which doesn't sound awful till you realize that was one of only two times that they've been in the playoffs since 1994.
5. Browns led the Pack 21-0 in the third in 2017. They lost, of course, and this matters because that cemented the 0-16 record that year.
4. Browns led the Pats 26-14 with 2:39 left in 2013. They lost in regulation. To Belichick, their old coach.
3. 2002. Browns finally were going to win their first game of the season and go 1-0 for the first time since they came back. They had kicked a field goal to win it with 29 seconds left. Rudd for Cleveland took his helmet off to celebrate after the last play was over. Except it wasn't over because Rudd actually took off his helmet before time expired. Game can't end on a defensive penalty, so the Chiefs got one more down, and the 15 yard penalty moved them to the 30, and they kicked a field goal. Truly a creative way to lose.
2. Browns give up 2 touchdowns to the Jets in the last 1:55 of the game (after Cleveland missed an extra point to keep the lead at 13 points) to lose by 1. Getting into rare air here. This was last year, 2022. The last team to blow a lead this big in the last 2 minutes? Read the next one.
1. The last team to blow a lead like this was, of course, the Browns. In 2001 the Browns led 21-7 with 48 second left against the Bears. The Browns lost.

And this is only since they came back so the loss against the Vikings in the playoffs, Red Right 88, both AFC Championship games to Denver, etc, aren't even on the list.

As BMills says, we don't have much. But we have this. We are truly, demonstratably, cleary and consistently head and shoulders above every other professional sports team in sucking. It's not close. For fuck's sake, we are named after a goddamn color, and the most boring one at that.

So no, the Bears cannot hold the Browns' beer.

That Jets game last year was special. #1 above is glorious.

[SumJongGuy]

And the Panthers with Young..

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

LOL who were they playing "Semi-charmed life" for during the break?

[4matic]

LOL who were they playing "Semi-charmed life" for during the break?

SF band. Typical to play music from local bands.

[4matic]

Giants aren’t terrible. First defense to pressure 49ers

[Supermoon]

Al Michaels talking shit about how far the stadium is from SF is so good.

[4matic]

Al Michaels talking shit

Kinda what he does now.

[mcski]

Al Michaels talking shit about how far the stadium is from SF is so good.

He ain’t lyin. The former home of the raiders is closer. They deserve to be called the Santa Clara 49ers for that travesty

[4matic]

Dallas, Rams, Chargers, Washington all play considerable distance from their namesakes.

[Supermoon]

Dallas, Rams, Chargers, Washington all play considerable distance from their namesakes.

Um the LA Rams and LA Chargers play less than ten miles outside of downtown LA, and I think most people would consider Inglewood generally part of LA. They’re closer than LAX to LA.

[Timberridge]

I always thought changing the California Angels to the Los Angeles Angels took away some of the flexibility for Artie Moreno to move the team to Chico...if he wanted to.

[concretejungle]

Dallas, Rams, Chargers, Washington all play considerable distance from their namesakes.

Fedex Field is like five miles from the edge of DC. It's a dump in the middle of a parking lot but it is pretty close to DC. It'll just take you forever to get there and out of there because Dan Snyder is a gigantic piece of human trash.

[Timberridge]

Fedex Field is like five miles from the edge of DC. It's a dump in the middle of a parking lot but it is pretty close to DC. It'll just take you forever to get there and out of there because Dan Snyder is a gigantic piece of human trash.

Maybe it being in another state is confusing 4matic?

My Buffalo Bills will be there this weekend. Which Josh Allen will we get? Sweet mother of god, let it be the good Josh Allen, please.

I will give 4matic this, the LA Chargers do play a long way from San Diego. He's right there.

[BmillsSkier]

Lol @ “LA” Chargers.

I hope good Josh Allen shows up as the Bills were my #1 pick in the office pool this year.

Also, some team has to fucking represent Lake Erie well and I’m not so sure that team resides in Cleveland.

[Timberridge]

As far as Lake Erie let's not forget the kneecap biting Lions, Bmills.

If we're 3 picks and a fumble into halftime, we could be saved by a good performance against the currently undefeated Falcons.

[BmillsSkier]

Good point.

I’m not sure what to make of the Falcons. I like Ridder ever since he was at UC and hope he does well, but I can’t tell you any other players on the team.

Except their kicker. And that’s just because his Trackhawk got broken into downtown which is the most Atlanta thing ever and all they took was his cleats. Before a game too.

[concretejungle]

Maybe it being in another state is confusing 4matic?

Yeah, I'll start telling people I'm from Hyattsville instead of Washington DC and see how well that works.

I'm just glad Snyder sold the team (and the name change) so I can at least watch the WFT play again. I can tolerate normal shitty owners but he was a bridge too far.

[Supermoon]

Good point.

I’m not sure what to make of the Falcons. I like Ridder ever since he was at UC and hope he does well, but I can’t tell you any other players on the team.

Except their kicker. And that’s just because his Trackhawk got broken into downtown which is the most Atlanta thing ever and all they took was his cleats. Before a game too.

Robinson looked really good last week but that could have just been the Packers run D