My Father Passed: Death and Yard Bags

[mcski]

Thank you, Seano. I appreciate you taking the time to write that all down and so well

My mom would have turned 95 this week. We all thought she’d live at least that long given her non stop energy, but she’s been gone for over 20 years now. Died about 3 weeks after retirement at 72. I too vividly remember that last call I had with her. She wasn’t a big talker but on that occasion, she was describing in detail a celebratory trip she just got back from and was super talkative for a change. I remember thinking it was unusual and felt bad that I had to get off the phone before she was ready. I figured I’d talk to her later in the week. But she didn’t pick up. Nor did she pick up the week after that. At first, I thought she had gone on another trip but finally realized something was wrong. She had been gone nearly 2 and a half weeks when she was found w a wellness check. Probably caught a case of pneumonia and figured she didn’t need to go see a doctor and couldn’t ride it out. The last phone call is still kind of a bitter sweet memory.

My mom was also a top tier, depression era, pack rat. It wasn’t newspaper tunnel level, but pretty much everything that wasn’t good that entered that house in the last 30 years was still there. Some interesting, lots not. All of it it a little hard to toss as it obviously meant something to her. Definitely beyond bag level disposal; dumpster and uhauls required

[Bunion 2020]

Vibes Seano, when it was apparent my Mom was on the final trip around the sun I made it a point to go to Atlanta to visit one more time. She passed about a week later and I would still feel terrible had I not made the trip. Fortunately my sister lives in ATL and has a stand up guy for a hubby, they dealt with the shit you had to and I am grateful.

One more thing young folks don't anticipate. If they have a good relationship with the Rents they are indeed lucky, take the time.

[TNKen]

Godspeed to your dad, condolences to you and your family.

Never good. I lost dad 10 years ago; mom back in September. Tough to go to the house to sort things.

[EWG]

Seano, I'm feeling for you for sure. Let yourself feel everything you need to feel, and I hope you find peace sooner than later.

[riser4]

My dad ended up in a memory unit while he still had a 3 acre lot covered in falling down buildings including the house and 30 years of hoarding. Fortunately we had power of attorney obtained when he was with it. He needed the money to pay for the nursing home. And we found a buyer willing to take it as is for a bunch of money. The guy owned heavy equipment and was able to make short work of things. It's quite nice now. He saved a good portion of the barn. And was able to put a rental unit on the foundation of the old house because the portion that my dad did complete was bomber. The guy did the drainage work my dad never got around to and put in quite the house in the back of the lot. My dad never got to see it, probably for the better.

[SumJongGuy]

One more thing I will add. Seano you are one of the nicest. smartest, and solid dudes I know over the internets. I wish I had a chance to hang with you IRL, hope to someday when our paths cross closer. Your dad did an excellent job raising you. That tells me he was amazing as well.

Peace...

[seano732]

Thank you all for your thoughts, condolences, and insight….It took me reading your collective thoughts to actually get me to cry, and begin mourning my dad….I left St. Louis this morning, and have all that physically remains of his life in the back of a rented SUV. That, and as has been said, the memories….I did learn some things about end of life planning, which fortunately my dad was pretty good about… Oh, and any young mags reading this, get in the mortuary business. What a fucking racket that is…
Thank you all again. Talisman and Teleee, I’m already thinking about VISIONQUEST Episode 2, possibly early fall, and think about you guys often….Riser, Crash apparently ate my AirPod Pros while I was gone, so he’s par for the course…..BMills, Bar Harbor is prolly about as far as you can get from Albuquerque, but if you are ever out in the desert Southwest, hit me up….That goes for any of you mags. I’ve got a warm room and cold beer for any of you…..Onward. Peace.

[Woolly the Mammoth]

All my best to you Seano. I lost my dad in October and appreciate your words here.

[Squirreljam]

Seano, I’ll just add this in case it helps, I wish I’d seen your post while you were still here. You don’t know me from Adam and I don’t post much but I’m in st Louis (Webster groves) and if I can help w legwork or anything just shoot a pm.

I remember a similar call 22 years ago (except we’d called to initiate a wellness check) on my brothers birthday, waiting for dad to show up for a dinner. I had a similar relationship with my dad as it sounds like yours was, and maybe it will help to emphasize and add to what someone earlier said about it boiling down to memories. After some amount of time, the emotional weight will lessen and the good memories remain. Oh, you’ll remember the bad too and it will still piss you off, but it won’t hurt as much. You’ll be able to think back to the good times and realize that dads have a big place in sons’ lives and that’s at it should be. Perhaps.

Dogspeed, mang

[garyfromterrace]

Condolences bro. Sharing helps, peace Seano.

[Aldo]

You’re not alone in this seano, we all go through it inevitably. Nice to know you weren’t alone in that room, thanks for letting us all in to listen, share your grief and possibly get some clear perspective on our own lives.

Sorry for you loss.


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[Meadow Skipper]

Wow, I’m really late to this, but I hope my regards, condolences, and wish for peace for you and the family aren’t too late.

This shit is tough, no two ways about it. I have stories that might help (or not), but rather than put them here I think we should do a bike meet in Madrid when riding weather gets better. And hey, if you ever go skiing at SSF or TSV…

[up an down]

Thanks for posting your heartfelt thoughts Seano!!!.... A very difficult experience to deal with😢😢...best of luck man.

[Harry]

Talisman and Telee, I’m already thinking about VISIONQUEST Episode 2, possibly early fall, and think about you guys often….

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[Harry]

First time I met seano732 was at a very smokey waxroom session in Jackson. Flyfishing with Telee, more waxroom shenanigans, Yellowstone Park, shooting gunzz with Talisman, MiCol, and other mags, and a party hosted by Mrs Talisman were we learned that Whiteroom Guardian and Djongo are masters at Jenga.

What a great time. If 2.0 happens, count me in.



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[Talisman]

Vision Quest 2.0 is a great idea let me know!

Talisman and Teleee, I’m already thinking about VISIONQUEST Episode 2, possibly early fall,