my life is falling apart

[fastfred]

My shrink has the week off so I’m not sure where to go with all this tgr might be the best place to seek help
First this email from my father this morning. Not sure what is wrong.

Mom & I were watching a football game and noticed a player whose name was #$%^%^$. We both agreed that it would be a good idea, as you are occasionally referred to as #%@ , that you visit the Summit County courthouse and change the spelling of your name to @(^%$. It would mean quite a bit to your Mother & I as we grow elderly and enter the dementia years and then become a burden , moving in with you.
Don’t get diverted with second thoughts as you visit the courthouse and substitute a typical Colorado name like Phoenix, Sky or Leaf. We were always concerned that you would have enjoyed the 1960s more than we did.
Let us know of your thoughts.
Dad


Then last night I had a girl cry after sex. I swear this has happened before to me with other women, but this time it was completely different. And yes, you fuckwads, it had nothing to do with my size or ability to create pleasure.

I mean we were really drunk and she did spit her drink all over me while at the bar. But shit happens you know and it is Breckenridge after all. So it’s not really out of the norm for me to watch some girl suck down four martinis and a couple shots on an empty stomach.

I’m trying to figure out what really happened now that she has found the door and left. I told her to hit up abay, ski it off, the fresh air and sunshine might do her some good as I patted her on the ass and sent her on her way an hour ago. At the cusp of fifty she wanted some sort of commitment and some guarantee that this wasn’t some one off Thanksgiving fling. I’m like shit man, this has been barely going on a month and you want commitment already? Life is full of somedays and somethings I told her as she laid there after a few orgasms, sobbing like a teenager, wondering if I was going to dump her come spring. All I said is, “I’m here, I’m not the one who is taking off to Libya then Washington DC then coming back to shithole ski town a couple weeks later.” I told her to close the deal retire early and we will travel in my van for the rest of our lives. I then asked her the same question I asked a few times earlier in the evening, “are you ok with shitting in a plastic bag?” She informed me, again, we are rafting the grand canyon together next year. The permit is secured we just have to commit. I also reminded her again, to text her mom and tell her she wasn’t coming home tonight. Women are so complicated.

[skiballs]

Pics or it didn’t happen.



Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[m2711c]

You sound like you could use a bowl of soup.

[AK47bp]

The woman drama seems to be your standard dating in your 40’s commitment jibber jabber.

The parental email is a bit worrisome. Has the Dementia already begun?




Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[oftpiste]

The woman is on the cusp of 50 and living with her mom? Bit of a red flag?

And yeah, that parental email is very strange. Does he have on offbeat sense of humor?

[I Skied Bandini Mountain]

I don't see what is unusual here and needs to be addressed.

[ghosthop]

What are you going to do if she actually quits her job?

[The Suit]

Your father is a treasure. If he keeps writing emails like that, you need to save them to make a book.

[mud]

The parental email is a bit worrisome. Has the Dementia already begun?

Could run in the family.

[boltonoutlaw]

Every woman dreams of living in a van and shitting in a bag

[Conundrum]

Tell me how all this makes you feel Fred.

[bagtagley]

So should we start calling you Frehd? Fread?

[Mofro261]

Sigmund Fred.

[hatchgreenchile]

FastPhoenix does have a nice ring to it

[mcski]

What are your long term plans for the shitbags? Or are they only short term flings as well?

[ötzi]

How do you notice someone's first name watching football? Or is he talking about your last name? Either way it's confusing.

[::: :::]

Frederick, Alfred, Manfred, or Wilfred?

Winifred, Frederica, Frédérique ?

Fredrickson

Lafrederson
Fredro
FFred
Fredd

[subtle plague]

Manfred? Fred sounds way to much on the Fast lane to be German.

And you can't Upgrade it with a few açcons here and there.

[XXX-er]

Every woman dreams of living in a van and shitting in a bag

I took that to mean she has a colostomy

[raisingarizona13]

Well she was probably very upset after you called it "A-Bay".

[El Chupacabra]

Phred

[sb]

Its ok

It gets worse from here on out.

[Core Shot]

The sex with loser (looser) old broads isn’t interesting
Even if you make them cry.

The email from your parents has me intrigued

Wtf. They named you. But now there’s some sportsball dude with the same name and you need to change your name?

Michael Bolton needs to change his name.

[schindlerpiste]

Emmett, change your name: Your woes began with the Libyans

[skaredshtles]

Phred

/thread