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  1. #51
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    17,757
    Fred, does dad have any hobbies?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Salida, CO
    Posts
    1,987
    just another shopping mall soap opera

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
    Posts
    35,589
    Sorry you're going through it Fred, I am curious though about the letters from Dad.
    I still call it The Jake.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    21,307
    Quote Originally Posted by fastfred View Post
    If you're accompanied to ----------- with this woman you'll need to rent two camels to carry all your stuff. Didn't you tell me that most of the females your age come with a lot of baggage ? And, if you run into the Nigerian prince who wanted to deposit $10,000,000 in my bank account tell him I haven't seen the money yet and would like him to return the $ 5,000 I wired him for handling fees.
    Finally, be gentle with --------. He has over 6 feet of snow in his yard.
    Dad
    Someone needs to create a FastFredDad alias.

    I like this guy.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,043
    Come up and party in Aspen for the weekend for some new cougar tail. Cant promise no tears though.

    The lady and i are experienced boaters, and would love to join you on the grand trip if you got room!

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    27,430
    I think I'd prefer Sky, Phoenix or Leaf to @(^%$, but that's just me.

    Apparently fastfred's parents are big Q*Bert fans.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    righthere/rightnow
    Posts
    3,188

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    your vacation
    Posts
    4,771
    unfortunately there was a number of emails that went back and forth where a follow up phone call resulted in him telling me he thought I was joking
    too much personal info was in the emails so I can't post them here

    yesterday I received this one:

    Fred:
    Here's the headline for an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal . Would you like me to send you the entire story ?
    Dad

    Meddling Parents Hire Dating Coaches for Their Grown Children


    unfortunately/fortunately I may have realized I'm not relationship material but I'll discuss this with my therapist in two weeks
    this new budding relationship (note do not send your parents photos of you and new girl taken together in front of the christmas tree like your some happy couple that has been in a relationship for a year) when it's only been a few weeks

    well its falling apart, for christmas eve day she made me bone her five times in one day, I felt like a high school kid all day long, just walking around with a raging boner, I'd just touch her and she would melt and her clothes would fall off and I'd pop another cialis

    but chrsitmas day is where it fell apart we ended up pretty hammered by late afternoon, she has this huge 5000 sq ft in breckenridge and of course we are all huddled into one corner of this sprawling house by the fireplace, I looked over at her mom and asked, "what language are you speaking? I can't understand a word your saying?" sure as shit the rage with a full blown south boston accent came at me and I knew it was over meanwhile her sister in law who I've known for like forever was throwing up and her brother was acting like a referee trying to get everyone to act like anything but a dysfunctional irish family

    the next morning when I tried to roll her over and have morning sex she stopped me and we had a long conversation about how we might not be a good fit

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    DownEast
    Posts
    3,311
    Buy a box of Dunkin Donuts for family breakfast and you’re back in like Flynn. And cut your friggin’ nails!

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    9,715
    That's nothing that 2 Parliaments and a giant dump won't fix.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    champlain valley
    Posts
    5,671
    Quote Originally Posted by fastfred View Post
    unfortunately there was a number of emails that went back and forth where a follow up phone call resulted in him telling me he thought I was joking
    too much personal info was in the emails so I can't post them here

    yesterday I received this one:

    Fred:
    Here's the headline for an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal . Would you like me to send you the entire story ?
    Dad

    Meddling Parents Hire Dating Coaches for Their Grown Children


    unfortunately/fortunately I may have realized I'm not relationship material but I'll discuss this with my therapist in two weeks
    this new budding relationship (note do not send your parents photos of you and new girl taken together in front of the christmas tree like your some happy couple that has been in a relationship for a year) when it's only been a few weeks

    well its falling apart, for christmas eve day she made me bone her five times in one day, I felt like a high school kid all day long, just walking around with a raging boner, I'd just touch her and she would melt and her clothes would fall off and I'd pop another cialis

    but chrsitmas day is where it fell apart we ended up pretty hammered by late afternoon, she has this huge 5000 sq ft in breckenridge and of course we are all huddled into one corner of this sprawling house by the fireplace, I looked over at her mom and asked, "what language are you speaking? I can't understand a word your saying?" sure as shit the rage with a full blown south boston accent came at me and I knew it was over meanwhile her sister in law who I've known for like forever was throwing up and her brother was acting like a referee trying to get everyone to act like anything but a dysfunctional irish family

    the next morning when I tried to roll her over and have morning sex she stopped me and we had a long conversation about how we might not be a good fit
    I feel you fred

    I have been seeing someone for ten years. the last three years her mother has moved in. she is 82, wheel chair bound, can not get up on her own when she falls, and is mean as a snake

    it hasn't been easy

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    LV-426
    Posts
    21,241
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    That's nothing that 2 Parliaments and a giant dump won't fix.
    Turn this mutha out!
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    17,757
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    That's nothing that 2 Parliaments and a giant dump won't fix.
    So you want fred to tack on lung cancer and a backed up septic line to his list of problems?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    champlain valley
    Posts
    5,671
    yeah - a diversion, something he can make real progress with

  15. #65
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    11,981
    Quote Originally Posted by singlecross View Post
    Buy a box of Dunkin Donuts for family breakfast and you’re back in like Flynn.
    This. Sounds like ol' girl's gotta wicked hangover and emotions are ALWAYS way off the morning after a wild night. Sneak out real quick to grab some breakfast, donuts, coffee, the works, for everyone. Perhaps even apologize (even it's faux) for being a smartass. I know you didn't do anything wrong, but when it comes to family drama, I've found it best to sometimes just swallow my pride and lower the temperature. Forgiveness all the way around can usually be easily and swiftly achieved with a touch of humility.

    Sounds like even if the girl is fun, the family's got a hair trigger when it comes to drama, so ummm.... good to know! Now you know the boundaries. Chalk last night up to the alcohol and move on with your lives. Even if things don't ultimately work out with this lady, you can at least maybe salvage what remains of the week. Godspeed, Fred. I've been there. It ain't fun. The makeup fun times can be rad, though.

  16. #66
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    closer
    Posts
    5,788
    I like the term raging boner.
    It's a war of the mind and we're armed to the teeth.

  17. #67
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    18,629
    Doesn’t everyone?
    watch out for snakes

  18. #68
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,307
    5xday always comes with a price after 30. Pay up FF !

  19. #69
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    23,389
    Guy with congestive heart failure manages to get it on 5x in a day. This needs to be written up in Nature, or in the Journal of Non-Reproducible Results.

  20. #70
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    14,913
    It’s amazing what O2 and Cialis can do


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  21. #71
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    The Bull City
    Posts
    14,003
    Last sex olympics I heard he came in first AND third..
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  22. #72
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    10,787
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    Guy with congestive heart failure manages to get it on 5x in a day. This needs to be written up in Nature, or in the Journal of Non-Reproducible Results.
    That much Cialis can’t be good for the heart.

  23. #73
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    9,715
    Have we asked whether dad lives in the upstates? $10 says he does.

  24. #74
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    21,307
    Quote Originally Posted by subtle plague View Post
    I like the term raging boner.
    Meh. It’s redundant

  25. #75
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    31,267
    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    That much Cialis can’t be good for the heart.
    If you see alice

    tell her i'm ready to go
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

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