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Thread: Stoner Moves

  1. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by riser4 View Post
    Anyone else reading the thread title as Stoner Movies?
    Yep.

    Back in the day I tossed my surfboard on the rack, then took a few minutes for a post-session break with an amigo. Got high, drove off and was shifting into third gear when the unstrapped board lifted off. Kind of heartbreaking to watch it tumbling along the road in the rear view mirror.

    I think I wrote about this before, but…uh…wait…what?

  2. #127
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    ^^^^I've been behind people losing gear like that several times..^^^^

    Best I can do is one time, when the car was pretty new, I thought duct tape would be sufficient to hold a bike tray on the top racks for a short drive to a neighbors for a cub scout pack bike ride. I was right about that... but not about the drive home... Coming around one of the last curves, bike slammed the passenger side of the car and roof frame. Luckily the glass didn't break, but there are dents on the door and a crease above the door frame to remind me of that stupidity..
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  3. #128
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    I was going to a buddies house in my Subaru Legacy. From there we were going to the Mo to fish for Carp. I baked before I loaded and evidently left a real nice Sage 5 wt rod & reel in a case on the back of the car. As I was pulling out onto 191 I looked back and saw it falling off the roof but was so impaired I though it was inside the vehicle.

    Got to his house and could not find my setup, drove the 5 miles back to my hood. Alas the case was gone.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  4. #129
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    In 92 headed home from the last Grateful Dead New Year's Eve run in Oakland, I took a few weeks to meander back. One stop was Fairfield Snow Bowl, of all places. I didn't really ski back then, so we stopped as a bit of a goof. We had a blast even though we were SPORS. Anyway, we get back to the van and blaze a few bowls before changing clothes and hitting the road. Go to start the van and nothing. I'd left the headlights on. The people who gave us a jump start had sat there watching us the whole time. With our headlights on.

  5. #130
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    ^ My Snow Bowl stoner move was wearing a pair of beach pants with sorta shallow pockets on a spring powder day, we all wore silly clothes in the spring. I put my car keys in my pocket and went about the day bouncing off trees, bumping and goofing off. At the end of the day we're walking out for beers and I reached in the pocket and SURPRISE the keys were still there I was so relieved and utterly amazed at my stonerificness that I just started laughing maniacally standing there in the lot.

  6. #131
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    i just had the realization that i will never be 15 again, living in the attic, sleeping on a 3/4 inflated air mattress, binge watching the office all day and actually finding it funny, eating shrooms with the boys around a fire on the lake, getting questionable older siblings with licenses to drive us up to app for late night park laps while listening to chief keef, smoking shitty bud out of plastic bottles, and really just not giving a fuck.

    sad realization.
    swing your fucking sword.

  7. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    i just had the realization that i will never be 15 again, living in the attic, sleeping on a 3/4 inflated air mattress, binge watching the office all day and actually finding it funny, eating shrooms with the boys around a fire on the lake, getting questionable older siblings with licenses to drive us up to app for late night park laps while listening to chief keef, smoking shitty bud out of plastic bottles, and really just not giving a fuck.

    sad realization.
    Salad days.

  8. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    i just had the realization that i will never be 15 again, living in the attic, sleeping on a 3/4 inflated air mattress, binge watching the office all day and actually finding it funny, eating shrooms with the boys around a fire on the lake, getting questionable older siblings with licenses to drive us up to app for late night park laps while listening to chief keef, smoking shitty bud out of plastic bottles, and really just not giving a fuck.

    sad realization.
    "wake up you need to make money"
    Go that way really REALLY fast. If something gets in your way, TURN!

  9. #134
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    Today, I went paddle board fishing at a local reservoir. Mostly, I was paddling while on my knees and then sitting to cast and fish. Except for the swarm of power boats on the lake which was to be expected on Labor Day weekend, it was a good day. The sun was shining and I caught a nice rainbow, but in the end I lost my fishing kit to the water (stoner move). It happened while I paddled from one spot to another. I forgot, or didn't think to secure the the rod. At some point I took my eyes off of the water and landscape and looked down between my legs, and the pole was gone. Whoa is me.
    “How does it feel to be the greatest guitarist in the world? I don’t know, go ask Rory Gallagher”. — Jimi Hendrix

  10. #135
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    ^^Bummer man.

    Forgot to put my gas cap on after filling up today, instead left it sitting on the bumper. Got all the way home (20 minutes), saw the gas door open and realized my stoner move. Resigned myself to driving back to town and lo and behold it was in the middle of the road just a few minutes from my house. Score! Lol

  11. #136
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    You guys will like this. Courtesy of our local reddit sub...

    I’ve lived in Blaine for a while and always joked with people that come to visit to not miss the exit or you’ll end up in line for the Canadian border. I’m a stoner so I always think about it as I almost always have some small amount of cannabis on me.

    Well, it has finally happened to someone coming to visit. They were able to call and fill someone in and they relayed what info they had to me. They told the border patrol officer they didn’t know the area and missed the last exit (I know there’s plenty of signs it’s pretty absurd) and said border patrol insisted on searching the vehicle. I know they had a small amount of personal cannabis on them.
    And he still hasn't heard from them.

  12. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ted Striker View Post
    You guys will like this. Courtesy of our local reddit sub...



    And he still hasn't heard from them.
    A friend did this right after high school at the Osoyoos/Oroville crossing. We were camping and he came out late to join us aiming to arrive around 2am, we warned him about the border 2-3 miles down the road. Especially late at night and less well marked than the Blaine one. He missed the campground and rolled into the border without a passport, any clue he was about to be in Canada, and a bag of weed hidden in his stuff. Fortunately nothing happened to him beyond some questions, stress, and being told he was dumb for missing the sign.

    I also may or may not have been in the car while carpooling through the Blaine crossing to a show in Vancouver with someone who didn't tell any of us that he had something like 5 flavors of drugs on him in both directions. I didn't know people took ecstasy for Slayer shows until several weeks/months later when the story came out.

  13. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by babybear View Post
    I like that story.
    but f/u question: was she stoned when the flashlight thing happened? because then double points
    The epilepsy medicine doesn't help. Fished the thing out with a stick and carried it to the lake which was about 200 feet away. Pulled the batteries and washed it all out. After a couple of days sitting in the sun to dry out it worked fine. Triple points?

  14. #139
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  15. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltonoutlaw View Post
    How high?

    All the way.

  16. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    i just had the realization that i will never be 15 again, living in the attic, sleeping on a 3/4 inflated air mattress, binge watching the office all day and actually finding it funny, eating shrooms with the boys around a fire on the lake, getting questionable older siblings with licenses to drive us up to app for late night park laps while listening to chief keef, smoking shitty bud out of plastic bottles, and really just not giving a fuck.

    sad realization.
    Not to worry, once you retire you can do all that and more. It is pretty fun...
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  17. #142
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    Cereal in the fridge, milk in the cupboard...

  18. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jax View Post
    Cereal in the fridge, milk in the cupboard...
    TV remote in the fridge, beer in my hand.

  19. #144
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    for the younger kids who don't know about it.
    So the world is filled with tubular entities. Food goes in one end and shit comes out the other. Sperm goes in and babies come out.

  20. #145
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    Brushing my teeth with Lamasil

  21. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    Our contractor told me never leave a hammer on the top of a step ladder. Sometimes I forget.

    left a caulk gun hooked to a 32' extension ladder once> never saw it coming since i had a hat on >BAM /though the hat likely save my forehead from getting cut open

    omg to many moments to recall them all...would make a good book!

    How about spending night at a beach party>getting in your car and it won't move/in middle of calling a tow truck and remember at that moment you set the parking brake last night.

  22. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by baron View Post
    left a caulk gun hooked to a 32' extension ladder once> never saw it coming since i had a hat on >BAM /though the hat likely save my forehead from getting cut open

    omg to many moments to recall them all...would make a good book!

    How about spending night at a beach party>getting in your car and it won't move/in middle of calling a tow truck and remember at that moment you set the parking brake last night.
    I left my hard hat on top of a ladder to climb down and adjust the ladder position. This of course made the hat fall to the ground.

    Luckily I prevented that by putting my face in the way when I looked up.

    Boss asked if I wanted to make a claim for the dental work - I said no I think I'll pay for this myself.

  23. #148
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    So the world is filled with tubular entities. Food goes in one end and shit comes out the other. Sperm goes in and babies come out.

  24. #149
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    I was flying out to Colorado Springs this summer to meet up with my brother who drove up from Texas with a couple of bikes to do some biking. I almost always fly direct, but no non stops to CS so I had to fly through Denver. I take a gummie about 1/2 way through the flight to Denver and when we land I rush to baggage claim because there isn't much time between flights. Waiting at the carousel until it stops and my bag didn't come out. I go to the lost baggage area and as I'm waiting on line my brother who knows my itinerary and is going to pick me up in CS calls me and asks how I'm making out.
    Not too good, my fing luggage got lost and I'm waiting at the lost baggage line to see what's up.
    WHat? You're in CS already??
    Huh, what do you mean... ah fuck.
    I go to get rebooked and tell the guy what i did and he and his coworker had a good laugh.
    luckily another flight was leaving within the hour and there was no extra charge for stoopidity.

  25. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    Brushing my teeth with Lamasil
    Did this in Japan 2 years ago. Don't know if it was Lamasil but it definitely wuzzint toothpaste

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