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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    364

    Franks and Beans



    Happened to me the other day. Just the frank. No beans. Felt a slight pinch, like an injection. Thankfully my boxers took the brunt of it and I avoided any further entanglement. I had forgotten about it, but right now I've got carhartt's on and the heavy duty zipper has got me feeling squeamish.
    Stay safe out there this holiday weekend.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    8,529
    The “smartless” podcast interview with Ben Stiller briefly touches on this scene. Very funny podcast.

    Vibes to your frank. Good job not getting the beans involved - let alone above the frank.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
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    1,688
    I have a cousin who had to go to the hospital to get the zipper cut away from his frank he got it snagged so bad.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong View Post
    I have a cousin who had to go to the hospital to get the zipper cut away from his frank he got it snagged so bad.
    Ouch.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
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    NY
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    Um, this thread makes me very uncomfortable

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownski View Post
    Um, this thread makes me very uncomfortable
    This.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    PNW
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    6,588
    What the actual fuck are you guys doing zipping your trousers!!!

    Next time maybe let the erection settle before you zip in in a frantic hurry...or buy button fly

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by k2skier112 View Post
    What the actual fuck are you guys doing zipping your trousers!!!

    Next time maybe let the erection settle before you zip in in a frantic hurry...or buy button fly
    Sage.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    50 miles E of Paradise
    Posts
    13,095
    Kilts have no zippers

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    28,438
    My boys need a home.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    50 miles E of Paradise
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    13,095
    Quote Originally Posted by Brownski View Post
    Um, this thread makes me very uncomfortable
    You want uncomfortable?
    One of my kids used to work as a home health nurse for developmentally disabled kids in Phoenix.
    One of her clients was a teenage male who lived with a gang banger cousin.
    Client got ahold of cuz’ Glock. Stuck it in his pants and strutted around the house.
    Until the gun discharged. Strafed his dick. She said about 3mm deep

    Rather than go to hospital and answer a bunch of pesky questions about a felon with a Glock in his home, they wrapped his dick in gauze & surgical tape.
    It became infected.

    She had to clean up the mess

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    2,406
    I have a friend who did this as a little kid while his older sister and friends were at the house...They tagged teamed it free willy. Poor guys was still traumatized 15 years later.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Orangina
    Posts
    8,180
    Zipped may wang at a urinal while high on ecstasy, standing next to Woody Harrelson. True story.
    "All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    20,658
    Did that once. Zipper shattered.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    7,574
    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    Did that once. Zipper shattered.
    #endofthread.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    truckee
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    20,361
    This is why I don't zip up my fly.

    When I was a resident the psych ward called me to see a schizophrenic patient they had just admitted with a rubber band wrapped very tightly around his penis, presumably in an attempt to amputate it. They wanted a surgeon to remove the rubber band. I approached the guy and he shrank back into the far corner of his bed, against the wall, with a wild look in his eye. I tried to reason calmly with him with my best bedside manner but he was having none of it. Just then two psych residents walked by, saw what was going on, and without a word spoken one tackled him around the knees, the other got him in a choke hold, and I was able to cut the rubber band off. The next day the chief of urology thought it would be amusing to round on this guy, with his entourage in tow--other professors, residents, community urologists--and me out of sight at the very back. As soon as they entered the guy's room, before they could tell him who they were, he sprang up in bed and screamed "godammit you fag urologists get the fuck out of here". So maybe the guy wasn't so delusional.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    7,553
    Quote Originally Posted by J. Barron DeJong View Post
    I have a cousin who had to go to the hospital to get the zipper cut away from his frank he got it snagged so bad.
    Family get togethers must be pretty funny!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Posts
    14,226
    This one time I was late to work (firefighter) where we had PT first thing in the morning and zipped my dick up putting on my shorts as I rushed to get ready.

    It really hurt, like a lot, but these other stories make my agony pale in comparison. I shouldn’t even post this.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Warm parts of the St. Vrain
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    2,589

    Franks and Beans

    Goddamn Ben looks so young, I had forgotten how old that movie is. FFS I’m old.
    Oh wait, wasn’t it a flashback or In the past? Oh I forget.

    Whippersnappers.

    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    If we're gonna wear uniforms, we should all wear somethin' different!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,165
    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    You want uncomfortable?
    One of my kids used to work as a home health nurse for developmentally disabled kids in Phoenix.
    One of her clients was a teenage male who lived with a gang banger cousin.
    Client got ahold of cuz’ Glock. Stuck it in his pants and strutted around the house.
    Until the gun discharged. Strafed his dick. She said about 3mm deep

    Rather than go to hospital and answer a bunch of pesky questions about a felon with a Glock in his home, they wrapped his dick in gauze & surgical tape.
    It became infected.

    She had to clean up the mess
    Yeah, that makes it worse. Didn’t Plaxico hit himself in the dick? Or was it a near miss? I can’t remember now. How long ago was that one?

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