Looters Stealing Grapes

[nickwm21]

I’d think you’d want real, visible security cameras and posted signs. Not trail cameras.

You want to warn and dissuade.


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[leroy jenkins]

I think we have to listen to both sides first and try to overcome the cherry tree division caused by the Media.

If this is what you think I've said you are either smoothbrained or making a strawman.

[riser4]

If it's Russians stealing them, isn't there an open season, no bag limit? And if it's fellow Ukrainians using a war as cover so they can loot, well there should be open season on them as well. I don't think cameras are going to do much in the chaos of war.

[leroy jenkins]

We are dealing with both marital law and martial law here. (And yes this is in Ukraine.)

I’m open to suggestions on ways to deal with the lemon-stealing whores.

ahh, well, that changes things considerably.

I'd say secure the home and forget caring about the grapevines? I mean, what can you really do besides just engaging in violence? If its russians they'll probably outgun you, if its locals, well, maybe offer to feed them?


Seems an extremely salient detail to include and a bunch of morans on TGR seems like the last resource that would have any relevant knowledge or advice.



Although I guess it does open up the land mine option.

[exsparky]

Pussies. People aren't going to walk over a dead body to steal plants.

Rent a bunch of fake corpses.

Where? Well the dapper cadaver of course.

https://www.dappercadaver.com/collec...d-corpse-props

[Art Shirk]

I knew the very notion of a spring gun was like the Bmills bat signal!

Yeah, “spring gun” is an immediate lawyer bell ringer. After reading the fact pattern for Katko v Briney on one of my first days of law school, I thought that old man Ed Briney was totally on to something. Turns out, much to my dismay, you can’t boobytrap your own shit.




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[Not DJSapp]

Pussies. People aren't going to walk over a dead body to steal plants.

Rent a bunch of fake corpses.

Where? Well the dapper cadaver of course.

https://www.dappercadaver.com/collec...d-corpse-props

This is a war zone. Too subtle and easily missed.

Heads on pikes spaced out every 50 yards however, might send a clearer message. Add signage stating "Russian grape thief" and "Free dinner and handies for Ukrainian soldiers at the farmhouse" And attach some of those shiny foil strips to it to discourage the crows.

[ötzi]

If this is what you think I've said you are either smoothbrained or making a strawman.

Perhaps there is a third option.

[Conundrum]

While the Geneva Convention says no punjis, this may be a good time/application? A lot less noise than spring guns.

If it were me, I'd buy a paintball gun, get drunk and stay up late operating in the shadows.

[AK47bp]

Pussies. People aren't going to walk over a dead body to steal plants.

Rent a bunch of fake corpses.

Where? Well the dapper cadaver of course.

https://www.dappercadaver.com/collec...d-corpse-props

What? No penis?

Pfffft

“Man, These eunuch’s love grapes”


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[tetzen]

I'd say secure the home and forget caring about the grapevines? I mean, what can you really do besides just engaging in violence? If its russians they'll probably outgun you, if its locals, well, maybe offer to feed them?

Although I guess it does open up the land mine option.

The Russians took the home with a rather unfortunately located tank. Fortunately they retreated a few weeks ago from the area (they stole the tractor’s battery after burning down the house.)

Now we are dealing with some traitorous scumbags. I suspect it is the same gang of people. Before the house was on the property they would come steal carloads of apples.
They saw them one night driving away with the entire backseat full of apples and probably the trunk. One night they had to abandon the car there too in the midst of another theft of apples (POS junker.)

Anyways, since the house is gone, the asshole traitors think it’s open season on the fruits again.

[leroy jenkins]

Perhaps there is a third option.

Ok but seriously, how old ARE you? How long till you just slip away into dementia or croak? How many decades has it been since you actually skied?

[Conundrum]

How long till you just slip away into dementia or croak?

I think he's proven that this unpossible.

[abraham]

Got any of these laying around? I'm sure they could take out a car full of thieves.
https://armamentresearch.com/russian...-ukraine-2022/

[AK47bp]

Bayraktar patrols?


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[tetzen]

Bayraktar patrols?


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Now we are talking. I wonder if there is a group buy going on somewhere.

[TBS]

[jono]

The Russians took the home with a rather unfortunately located tank. Fortunately they retreated a few weeks ago from the area (they stole the tractor’s battery after burning down the house.)

Now we are dealing with some traitorous scumbags. I suspect it is the same gang of people. Before the house was on the property they would come steal carloads of apples.
They saw them one night driving away with the entire backseat full of apples and probably the trunk. One night they had to abandon the car there too in the midst of another theft of apples (POS junker.)

Anyways, since the house is gone, the asshole traitors think it’s open season on the fruits again.

It's seriously shocking to me that anyone can steal food without significant risk of poisoning over there right now. Seems like a really basic form of resistance that just conveniently happens to flow over to looters. Gotta be some form of noxious (to humans) spray-on that can be applied to, say, the first vine or every third apple and just remember to wash stuff down at/before harvest? Battery guts? Maybe bear spray or a strong diuretic if it's not actual orcish hordes?

And no, I don't have an anarchist cookbook handy or anything--but I did watch Breaking Bad again lately. Could be a problem.

[ötzi]

Ok but seriously, how old ARE you? How long till you just slip away into dementia or croak? How many decades has it been since you actually skied?

I'm right in the demographic my man. Lots of people both older and younger than me here. Don't you think you could do better with your insult selection? Because that one doesn't touch me.

[JimmyCarter]

I think he meant "marital law". Best way to deal with those lemon-stealing whores.

It’s like my grandma always said, “you can’t make a lemon stealing housewife out of a lemon stealing ho”

[subtle plague]

Perhaps there is a third option.

Never!

I'm straw brained!

[subtle plague]

It’s like my grandma always said, “you can’t make a lemon stealing housewife out of a lemon stealing ho”

Wise Grandmas always know best.
"Clean your bong and wear a thong,
If she doesn't, something's wrong"

[Cono Este]

X2 on not putting your dog in harms way.

My buddy from College had this problem in SoCal and his dad would have him sit in a blind and hit em with Rock Salt.

Those silent driveway alarms would help.


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