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Thread: Ask the Idiots

  1. #1
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    Ask the Idiots

    Everything I do on my bikes is an exercise in frustration and incompetence. I couldn't even put on a cable cap on some new cable housing last night. I just decided to keep the old cable and end caps that I took off than spend another couple minutes fumbling around like an idiot.

    AMA- I'm an idiot, how can I help you?

  2. #2
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    Iím fixin to bleed my shimano brakes. Iíll undoubtedly fuck it up and be back here with commentary for other idiots.

  3. #3
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    not ever buddy is mechanicaly inclined

    but hopefully you are good for something,

    try and focus on the positive
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    not ever buddy is mechanicaly inclined


    [just realizing: glad that's not lithium grease -- image would be just wrong]

  5. #5
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    Back in the day my buddies Dad was the service manager, he liked me/ gave me an aptitude test and hired me

    my buddy said yeah I took that test and I could get that job,

    a little while later we are messing with his car and he wonders aloud why a 3/8ths ratchet extension is not fitting on a 1/2 " ratchet ?

    he went into sales
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  6. #6
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    When you patch a hole in your tire, be sure to check for a second hole at the bead before you remount the tire, add sealant and inflate it. Ask me how I know....

  7. #7
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    especialy if yer running tubes always put the valve stem at the tire logo that way you know where the tire was on the rim incase there is something sharp in the tire you missed that puts anpther hole in the tube
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    When you patch a hole in your tire, be sure to check for a second hole at the bead before you remount the tire, add sealant and inflate it. Ask me how I know....
    And when you wrestle with getting a tire to set up tubeless for like 30 minutes and finally give up and re-tape the rim to get the tire to seat, make sure you don't then put the tire on backwards.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    Everything I do on my bikes is an exercise in frustration and incompetence.
    This is the way.

  10. #10
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    How many carbon parts are you required to break before buying a torque wrench?

    Me: one handlebar.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    Back in the day my buddies Dad was the service manager, he liked me/ gave me an aptitude test and hired me

    my buddy said yeah I took that test and I could get that job,

    a little while later we are messing with his car and he wonders aloud why a 3/8ths ratchet extension is not fitting on a 1/2 " ratchet ?

    he went into sales
    I helped a young neighbor replace some spark plugs after noticing how frustrated he was getting. He couldn't figure out why his imperial socket set had no matches on a metric car. He had zero knowledge of imperial vs metric standards.

  13. #13
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    well he is amercian eh ?

    thats still not as bad as not understanding 3/8ths and 1/2 " tool sets
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thaleia View Post
    I helped a young neighbor replace some spark plugs after noticing how frustrated he was getting. He couldn't figure out why his imperial socket set had no matches on a metric car. He had zero knowledge of imperial vs metric standards.
    I remember being kind of baffled that my Ford was all metric. It's 'murican, so I just assumed it'd be imperial. But apparently Ford's been metric since before I was born.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by toast2266 View Post
    And when you wrestle with getting a tire to set up tubeless for like 30 minutes and finally give up and re-tape the rim to get the tire to seat, make sure you don't then put the tire on backwards.
    At least you were smart enough to pull the tire. 3 or 4 years ago I was battling with a DHF and decided I just needed to pump a little more air in and it would certainly set the bead. Somewhere north of 40 psi I blew the bead off the tire and damaged the casing enough that the tire was ruined. My dog still gets up and leaves the carport anytime I start using a floor pump to top off my tires.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by John_B View Post
    At least you were smart enough to pull the tire. 3 or 4 years ago I was battling with a DHF and decided I just needed to pump a little more air in and it would certainly set the bead. Somewhere north of 40 psi I blew the bead off the tire and damaged the casing enough that the tire was ruined. My dog still gets up and leaves the carport anytime I start using a floor pump to top off my tires.
    Oh no, I'm definitely not that smart. I just couldn't get the bead to initially catch and start to inflate.

    When it's inflating and I can't get that last bit of bead to seat and I start getting into scary pressures, I put on the ear muffs, stick the wheel outside the man door in my garage, and keep pumping from the other side of the door. 5% of the time it gets exciting.

  17. #17
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    Ask the Idiots

    Quote Originally Posted by toast2266 View Post
    I remember being kind of baffled that my Ford was all metric. It's 'murican, so I just assumed it'd be imperial. But apparently Ford's been metric since before I was born.
    I had a Ď72 Mercury Capri. 1/2 metric, 1/2 English. Bought my first metric tools because a of that car.
    Last edited by plugboots; 05-12-2022 at 07:41 PM.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  18. #18
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    Starting a ride w/ likely a little bit too low pressure and slightly burping while landing poorly, then rush out the next day for a lunch ride b/c you don't have a ton of time and end up spending the whole ride wondering if you're going to miss your next meeting b/c you didn't spend 30 seconds re-inflating tire and forgot your inflator/co2.

    Also playing chicken with how long your bacon/stans dart will hold over multiple rides...

    Only thing that makes installing the tire wrong way worse is also have to wrestle it off a rim w/ an insert...

    effing bikes

  19. #19
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    Wait. Are we supposed to actually accomplish something with our wrenching? Cause basically it's therapy for me and that seems to be enough.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by VTskibum View Post
    Starting a ride w/ likely a little bit too low pressure and slightly burping while landing poorly, then rush out the next day for a lunch ride b/c you don't have a ton of time and end up spending the whole ride wondering if you're going to miss your next meeting b/c you didn't spend 30 seconds re-inflating tire and forgot your inflator/co2.

    Also playing chicken with how long your bacon/stans dart will hold over multiple rides...

    Only thing that makes installing the tire wrong way worse is also have to wrestle it off a rim w/ an insert...

    effing bikes
    OK. So I wasn't aware that a dart had a lifespan in a tire.

  21. #21
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    Just remember there is a reason most people pay others to do things.

    Its not that you cant do it, its just that you suck at it.

    Embrace the suck.
    a positive attitude will not solve all of your problems, but it may annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

    Formerly Rludes025

  22. #22
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    Finally, a thread in Sprockets tailor made for me!
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  23. #23
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    There are few things on a bike I am reluctant to attempt to fix/maintain.

    Called a local shop about a lower leg service on a Fox 36 Fork. 4-6 weeks wait time.

    About to learn how to do that. You-Tube makes it look EZ.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  24. #24
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    Every good mechanic was once a clueless idiot.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    OK. So I wasn't aware that a dart had a lifespan in a tire.
    I'm sure it doesn't officially, especially since they're supposed to chemically bond, but have had one start leaking after a while. Same with Bacon strips, though also had some tires plugged for years. Wonder if the tear gets stretched now and then. If I have concerns I'll pull tire and install a larger patch inside the tire.

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