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Thread: Ask the Idiots

  1. #76
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meconium View Post
    Wrenching late night with a beer or two can be problematic.
    Yup. After a few drinks I broke some carbon handlebars while torquing down the brake levers on them. I thought I set my wrench to the proper spec but apparently that step slipped my mind and crack. Bars broken and my ride the next day was canceled.

  2. #77
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    May 2012
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    People's Republic of OB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dumbest Known Time View Post
    Also open to thoughts on maximizing the number of stupid surfaces to set my 4mm allen key on.
    I can confirm a truck bumper is the perfect spot, then when you forget its there and drive away that "too many tools" problem gets solved one tool at a time. Have lost a Swiss army knife that way along with who knows how many other tools that I think I misplaced but actually lost off the truck.

    You don't need shit all over the floor to lose stuff that is dropped either. There is some unexplained magnetic pull of small parts to the hardest/most unlikely spot to find them at.


    If you think wrenching on bikes is frustrating try working on a moto. Mine are 15 and 25 yrs old. Seized bolts is an everyday discovery. I am realizing there is a reason why the service dept at most moto dealers refuse to work on bikes over 10 yrs old. Most recent experience was an oil change on my xr400. There are two points to drain oil from, the main reservoir in the downtube of the frame and the crankcase. Also a main oil filter and a couple screens. Was able to drain the main reservoir. Then tried to get the screen just below it out. First bolt came off easy. The second, I can't budge. Numerous applications of penetrating oil have not helped. Also couldn't get the other drain plug on the crankcase. Seems it is partially stripped, as the 12mm socket had a bit of play. Tried a 15/32 which is a small fraction smaller. It fit. Crank on it, and there was a big cracking noise. Thought the bolt broke free but no, that was the socket exploding. Split in numerous places around its edge. Do I buy a higher end socket and try again, or take it to my local moto guy? He is always backed up so it takes forever to get anything done. All for a fucking oil change.

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Livingston, MT
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    I could easily add days worth of reading to this page with all my home mechanic fuck ups. As bad as mine are, I’m amazed at the times I’ve been bested by a shop. My favorite is a local shop pressing the wrong bearings into my bike frame, replacing fork seals and forgetting to tighten, front brakes, headset and stem. This was all a fun surprise when I got out of the woods from a trail job, picked up the bike and we rallied to Bellingham. Luckily I only went a couple hundred feet when I figured out some things were not as they should be. The wrong bearings pressed into the linkage however, took a couple days to figure out. I had to call all over WA to find the correct bearings. Found them at EVO, tore the bike down in the parking lot and they pressed the correct bearings into the linkage. That’s when I realized I’m plenty sufficient at fucking up my own stuff, no need to pay someone else to do it


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  4. #79
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    Sep 2004
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    LV-426
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    My favorite LBS fuckup is when a friend had a shop replace his threaded bottom bracket. Shop cross threaded the Shimano external BB and forced it all the way into the frame.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  5. #80
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    May 2002
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    Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
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    Quote Originally Posted by El Chupacabra View Post
    My favorite LBS fuckup is when a friend had a shop replace his threaded bottom bracket. Shop cross threaded the Shimano external BB and forced it all the way into the frame.
    As manager/mechanic at LBS I couldn't believe the people the boss hired. I can't count the number of times I looked over and yelled, "Stop!" as the "mechanic" was breaking out a cheater bar to remove a left hand thread on a bb because "It moved a little, then stopped." or put a wrench on a pedal cause it wasn't going in easily. Fucking monkeys with no finesse, patience or skill in pretty much every shop these days.

  6. #81
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    [QUOTE=evdog;6614902]I can confirm a truck bumper is the perfect spot, then when you forget its there and drive away that "too many tools" problem gets solved one tool at a time. Have lost a Swiss army knife that way along with who knows how many other tools that I think I misplaced but actually lost off the truck. ]


    Left a drill driver in my truck bumper last summer. Didn't realize until I had driven a mile or so. It was still there. Luck


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    No matter where you go, there you are. - BB

  7. #82
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    Aug 2006
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    Wasatch
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    [QUOTE=skinipenem;6615238]
    Quote Originally Posted by evdog View Post
    I can confirm a truck bumper is the perfect spot, then when you forget its there and drive away that "too many tools" problem gets solved one tool at a time. Have lost a Swiss army knife that way along with who knows how many other tools that I think I misplaced but actually lost off the truck. ]


    Left a drill driver in my truck bumper last summer. Didn't realize until I had driven a mile or so. It was still there. Luck


    Sent from my SM-S908U1 using Tapatalk
    I lost a sweet benchmade knife that way. Gawd what an idiot.

  8. #83
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    Apr 2021
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    2,831
    Speaking of bumpers as tool benches - a couple weeks ago I showed up at the Green River freeride site and camped, and woke up before sunrise to do a few laps before it got too hot. It was in the upper 40's - perfect for hike-a-bike. I got dressed, ate, and took my bike off the rack and saw my rear axle was gone. WTF. It rattled off on hours upon hours of bumpy roads before i got to Green River is my guess- I've been having issues with it getting loose while riding for months but never bothered to see why. Now I pay the price for being lazy - I was so damn psyched that morning to ride, it's not a place I go to often. Fuck - I'm going home now without riding and the dirt looks perfect. But, it gets worse.

    I take off both wheels to put the bike inside my van because it ain't going back on my upright rack with a missing axle. Since Giant has no info online about rear axle sizes (which is standard industry bullshit) I have to take my bike (with no wheels) to LBS GoRide to get measurements and thread info so they can order a rear axle. A week later I get an axle and my bike, mount the rear wheel (pistons are all fucked from me pressing the rear brake with no wheel in it of course) and then realize i have NO FRONT AXLE. I always thread it in the fork when needing to take off the front wheel for a long time - so where is it? I'm an idiot but this is a new low for me. I'm guessing it's now sitting in the dirt in Green River after I put on the rear bumper. I really hate myself sometimes.

  9. #84
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    Nov 2005
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    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    Oofdah!
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  10. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    Speaking of bumpers as tool benches - a couple weeks ago I showed up at the Green River freeride site and camped, and woke up before sunrise to do a few laps before it got too hot. It was in the upper 40's - perfect for hike-a-bike. I got dressed, ate, and took my bike off the rack and saw my rear axle was gone. WTF. It rattled off on hours upon hours of bumpy roads before i got to Green River is my guess- I've been having issues with it getting loose while riding for months but never bothered to see why. Now I pay the price for being lazy - I was so damn psyched that morning to ride, it's not a place I go to often. Fuck - I'm going home now without riding and the dirt looks perfect. But, it gets worse.

    I take off both wheels to put the bike inside my van because it ain't going back on my upright rack with a missing axle. Since Giant has no info online about rear axle sizes (which is standard industry bullshit) I have to take my bike (with no wheels) to LBS GoRide to get measurements and thread info so they can order a rear axle. A week later I get an axle and my bike, mount the rear wheel (pistons are all fucked from me pressing the rear brake with no wheel in it of course) and then realize i have NO FRONT AXLE. I always thread it in the fork when needing to take off the front wheel for a long time - so where is it? I'm an idiot but this is a new low for me. I'm guessing it's now sitting in the dirt in Green River after I put on the rear bumper. I really hate myself sometimes.
    Ugh! Reminds me of a time in college...

    Take my road bike off the rack in our house. Ride turn toward the bike shop to meet up for the Nashville 90. Tabletop jump the single railroad rack. Set the bike down and proceed to impair the front fork into the pavement well past the transition. No front wheel. The quick release caught on the rack somehow when I took it off. Oops. End of ride. Adrenaline laden shower scrubbing out road rash and possibly a seventh broken nose.

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    No matter where you go, there you are. - BB

  11. #86
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    Oct 2002
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    Shadynasty's Jazz Club
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    10,248
    Do stories about the mystery height restrictor in the Sugar House Whole Foods parking lot belong here? I’ve got a couple.
    Remind me. We'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

  12. #87
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    Sep 2018
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    Quote Originally Posted by bagtagley View Post
    Do stories about the mystery height restrictor in the Sugar House Whole Foods parking lot belong here? I’ve got a couple.
    No. But goddamn that height limiter is weird.

  13. #88
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    Nov 2005
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    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    Maybe all I need is an $800 derailluer condom…

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  14. #89
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    Mar 2008
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    northern BC
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    30,810
    It wasn't on the bike but ask the idiot, who spent all of 2 days swapping out snow tires, why so fucking long to do a simple job ?

    I knock one of the front hub wheel nut studs out so its completely trapped between the rotor & the backing plate which means its undriveable so I probably gotta tow it to the dealer where they pull the rotor/ put the stud back in & $$$ cha-ching

    but there are some slots in the front of the backing plate so I grind a rib out with a rotary file chucked in my old drill and manage to fish out the stud so now i can at least drive to the dealer. then I'm thinking if I can get a stud out i could also get it back in and thru the hole in the hub but how to hang on to the fucking thing and get it thru the hub cuz just getting the stud out was a nightmare, this is looking almost fucking impossible ?

    If something was stuck use WD40 but it aint stuck so it needs sticking ... ductape .

    tape the stud to a piece of 3/8ths braided rope, gotta grind a little more off the backing plate, thread the rope thru the hole in the backing plate thru the stud hole, out the front of the hub and pull the stud on thru, pull the rope off the stud and thread the wheel nut on while pushing on the stud thru the hole in the backing plate, bob wasnt really my uncle on this one but got it going for 0 $$$

    then I went to drive it and with the door being open the battery was dead so had to get a jump from the gardners truck
    Last edited by XXX-er; 05-15-2022 at 04:56 PM.
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  15. #90
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Montrose, CO
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    4,616
    Quote Originally Posted by bagtagley View Post
    Do stories about the mystery height restrictor in the Sugar House Whole Foods parking lot belong here? I’ve got a couple.
    Ha. City life was a very hard adjustment when I first moved to SLC, and that thing definitely played a role.

  16. #91
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    2,643
    2 bikes projects attempted, both aborted tonight. 1 wrong tool, 1 just general laziness.

    1) install headset in frame but I only have a BB bearing press, ah it’ll be fine just a cheap DJ frame and cheap headset. Managed to get 1 1/5” cup in, but couldn’t for the life of me get a straight run at top cup… off to buddies this week to borrow/use real tool as I don’t generally need a HS press.

    2) after giving up on that go to setup a wheel a had re-laced back to tubeless. Re-use (foreshadowing) the Roval 2bliss rim strip, even pondering whether j should just tape it. Proceed to put insert and tire on, put sealant in and then can’t get it to seal as I clearly feel air coming through spoke holes in rim-bed.

    Enough bikes for tonight.


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  17. #92
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    Oct 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by bagtagley View Post
    Do stories about the mystery height restrictor in the Sugar House Whole Foods parking lot belong here? I’ve got a couple.
    Yes if they stories involve bikes... ib have a hunch what might have happened.

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    No matter where you go, there you are. - BB

  18. #93
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    Apr 2021
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    Quote Originally Posted by skinipenem View Post
    Ugh! Reminds me of a time in college...

    Take my road bike off the rack in our house. Ride turn toward the bike shop to meet up for the Nashville 90. Tabletop jump the single railroad rack. Set the bike down and proceed to impair the front fork into the pavement well past the transition. No front wheel. The quick release caught on the rack somehow when I took it off. Oops. End of ride. Adrenaline laden shower scrubbing out road rash and possibly a seventh broken nose.

    Sent from my SM-S908U1 using Tapatalk
    Yee-ouch.

    Quote Originally Posted by bagtagley View Post
    Do stories about the mystery height restrictor in the Sugar House Whole Foods parking lot belong here? I’ve got a couple.
    A couple? I told one of your stories about it to the wife once, is there more than one?

  19. #94
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    Jan 2006
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    Carbondale
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    12,451
    Pics of said height restrictor please!
    www.dpsskis.com
    www.point6.com
    formerly an ambassador for a few others, but the ski industry is... interesting.
    Fukt: a very small amount of snow.

  20. #95
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vacationland
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    5,896
    Not a bike story but a van story and I use the van to haul bikes so more of a bike adjacent story.

    The Maxx Air fan in the van shit the bed and they sent me a new circuit board which I put in yesterday. Do a quick power up to test before crimping connections and what not, all good. Re-assemble the whole thing which required some swearing and when all tucked back together I look down and see this little white tube that is a sleeve for the lid crank which belongs above everything I just swore back together.

    Good times

  21. #96
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Hell Track
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    13,809
    Many years ago, I was travelling with a friend in his E-350 that had one of those fiberglass roof extension things. It was his Sprinter-ish camper van before Sprinters existed in the U.S. We're in San Diego and decide to go get ice cream in some consumption-junction type complex. We're sitting in one of several turn lanes that lead into the complex when we realize there is a (completely unnecessary) height restriction on the above ground parking lot. We have a 20 second debate as to what to do: u-turn? Can't do it - we're in the "outside" turn lane. Merge back straight? Can't do that either - traffic patterns weren't going to let that work, especially in a big dumb van with massive blind spots. Go in through the exit? Nope, there are exiting cars in the way. A solution emerges: the height restriction is just a dangling bar. So I (the passenger) jump up top and ride the roof through the intersection, hoist the bar up and walk it over the van as my trusty compatriot slowly drives through, and then deposit the bar on the other side of the van once we've safely made it into the parking lot. I'm sure the other 100 people sitting at the intersection found it amusing.

    Anyways, height restrictors on above ground parking lots are dumb.

  22. #97
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    Jan 2008
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    BC to CO
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    4,858
    Quote Originally Posted by grskier View Post
    Pics of said height restrictor please!
    I have a roof rack on the second car, (the main car has a Thule hitch rack).
    The odd time I throw a bike on the roof rack I have this sign and a suction cup for the top portion of the windshield.
    I put the bike on the roof, secure the front wheel, put the sign on the windshield, and then secure rear wheel.

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    It has saved me a few times...


    I have a friend who has driven into her garage twice with a bike on the roof. 2 destroyed bikes, and a $5700 car insurance claim!
    I told her back the car out of the garage, pump up her tires and leave the pump in the middle of the garage floor, and then load her bike on the roof.
    When she comes home from a ride and opens the garage door, now she can’t pull in (and destroying another bike) because the pump is in her way.
    She texts me and thanks me for this tip at least once a month.

  23. #98
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    Aug 2014
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    Imaginationland
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    4,783
    She's a bright one.

  24. #99
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    Oct 2003
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    slc
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    17,855
    I really nailed this brake hose replacement. Fuck.


  25. #100
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    Jun 2008
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    SLCizzy
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    Ask the Idiots

    Somewhere on the workshop floor…a lonely o-ring laments.


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