What Will Your Family Find When You Die?

[muted reborn]

There's two really weird things we have, and it's not my doing. If my wife dies first I'm pitching them but if I die first, as seems highly likely, she'll probably still have them when she dies so I'll get some of the weird rubbed off on my posthumous rep.

The first one is a piece of our wedding cake. wrapped in tinfoil and in multiple ziplocs, in the freezer. Somewhere she heard that it's good luck to save a piece of the cake and eat it on the first anniversary. Well we forgot about it but then she wouldn't get rid of it because things were going okay and she didn't want to jinx us. That cake has been in the freezer in the various houses we've lived in for 32 fucking years. It's in the garage freezer here as I write.

The second one is our dogs' ashes. We have 11 little wood boxes of dog ashes in a closet downstairs. Numbers 12 and 13 are still walking around but I have little doubt they'll end up there too. Every few months I suggest digging a fucking hole but it's always a bad time or so I'm told. It all started when the first two died and we were getting ready to move so she she didn't want to leave them behind. Then we always knew we'd move out of the second house eventually, so same deal. We ended up living there 20 years but we did finally move.

Now I live in my last house. I'm getting carried out of this place. You'd think it would be time to bury the dogs, but no apparently not yet. I don't get it. Oh well they don't take up much space. The kids know all about this stuff so at least it won't be a surprise.

When you die, you are going to end up in that basement closet in an urn for many years, aren't you?


This thread made me think I should hide a massive dildo or maybe a collection of Precious Moment figurines somewhere to just fuck with my wife when I'm gone. "You live with someone forever - but you just never really know a person..."

OK, those two choices are not great but I'll come up with something better, I think.

[KQ]

When you die, you are going to end up in that basement closet in an urn for many years, aren't you?

I worked with someone who had his daughter's ashes in the box they where delivered in sitting in the corner of his office mixed in with bankers boxes of documents.

[Beaver]

A co-worker's dad died last year. When they were cleaning out his house they found guns everywhere. They also found man sized women's shoes and clothing, he didn't have a girlfriend.

[Core Shot]

döstädning

Huge fan.

I need to do more of it.

[Bobby Stainless]

Weed. Theyll find weed.

[SumJongGuy]

Well, wife won't have the code to the gun safe. She's not interested in access and my kids don't know about it as far as I know..

My mom's ashes are currently in the master bedroom closet. She died January 2021 but we're waiting on Arlington National Cemetery to intern her at my father's grave there. They finally called to schedule last week. We take her there July 1st.

[gravitylover]

A pile of stuff without much value to anyone but me. Bikes, skis, tools, project bits and pieces, a bong that was duct taped together 30 years ago... I've never been much of a picture taker so all of the memories go with me. When I had a heart attack a few years ago I thought about this and at one point I started drifting off for a little nap and the nurses screamed at me to keep awake and talking, at that point I thought about the weed I left on my workbench and figured maybe when it was found there would be a celebrate life party and it would be the star of the show.

[Conundrum]

If I wasn’t dead, I would have some explaining to do for the river trip costume box and old opium pipes I found when cleaning out my deceased great uncle’s things. He lived a spell in parts of the Pacific rim and Middle East. Some new, some used-they’re pretty cool looking so they’re in an old cigar box in the cellar next to another dead great uncle’s cattle tools like a dehorner and the nose pincher thing one would lead bulls around with.

I guess the combination of those three boxes might be weird to the right/wrong person.

[PB]

Uhh no. But now I'm not really sure I want to!

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ENTEROLITH!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterolith

We've got a 15 pounder (8" diam.) on our mantle. The patient died.

[KQ]

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ENTEROLITH!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterolith

We've got a 15 pounder (8" diam.) on our mantle. The patient died.

My friend has one from her horse in rocky landscaped area by her entry way. It's the size of a large cataloupe.

[Jax]

A friend passed away a few years ago and the deceased's bff found a tin can with 2 poorly rolled j's in his house. He wasn't a known toker, pretty straight-edged, so we got a kick out of smoking them as we spread his ashes.

I had my two previous dogs' ashes in boxes with me for at least 15 years. When my husky died a few years back, I decided it was finally time to set their ashes free, along with most, but not all, of the husky's ashes, atop a local prominent peak. It was more like a scene out of Big Lebowski.

Anyway, yeah ever since my bout with serious illness several years back, I've always looked around and thought 'what will they think' when whomever has to clear out my house and belongings. I don't have children or siblings, so odds are good that it will be some random friend (I'm an introvert), or a lover, if I am lucky. Lots of skis & ski boots, ski parts, bike stuff, loads of camping gear, and pics. No surprises and I'm cool with that.

I guess I can see how old people hang out together more, like at the elk club or bingo nights. Who will spread my ashes where I want them? Now there's a business idea... I don't want them in somebody's cluttered office stacked under reams of paper.

[Core Shot]

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ENTEROLITH!! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterolith

We've got a 15 pounder (8" diam.) on our mantle. The patient died.

Holy fucksticks

I mean yeah. That’s impressive.
But on your mantle? Wtf.

[KQ]

I guess I can see how old people hang out together more, like at the elk club or bingo nights. Who will spread my ashes where I want them? Now there's a business idea... I don't want them in somebody's cluttered office stacked under reams of paper.

CELEBRATING LIFE WITH FIREWORKS

[Norseman]

Yeah what the fuck man, on the mantle? That's super odd.

[Shredhead]

CELEBRATING LIFE WITH FIREWORKS

My last wish is to seed the clouds of an oncoming storm, with my remains. Then have all my friends shred through my bounty.

[Core Shot]

My last wish is to seed the clouds of an oncoming storm, with my remains. Then have all my friends shred through my bounty.

Fuck that shit.

I’m not skiing through anyones dead remains even if it’s knee deep artificial snow ice nucleation. Ewww.

I’ll go to Ralph’s. And get a coffee can. And sprinkle you wherever you want.

[PB]

Yeah what the fuck man, on the mantle? That's super odd.

It's only odd if you know what it is; it's a beautiful deep blue and silver and looks like something valuable pulled from the earth. If I could produce such an artistic legacy, I'd die happy.

[MakersTeleMark]

I want my ashes crammed into an elk tenderloin which is bait for a bald eagle so I can be shit out of it on the river.

Maybe doable.

[ötzi]

Fuck that shit.

I’m not skiing through anyones dead remains even if it’s knee deep artificial snow ice nucleation. Ewww.

I’ll go to Ralph’s. And get a coffee can. And sprinkle you wherever you want.

This has to be Core Shot's best post ever. Kudos.

[Norseman]

It's only odd if you know what it is; it's a beautiful deep blue and silver and looks like something valuable pulled from the earth. If I could produce such an artistic legacy, I'd die happy.

Getting weirder

[ötzi]

Getting weirder

whoa. missed that one.

all righty then

[KQ]

I want my ashes crammed into an elk tenderloin which is bait for a bald eagle so I can be shit out of it on the river.

Maybe doable.

Have you been reading John Nichols trilogy?

[MakersTeleMark]

Man, haven't heard his name in decades. And haven't read fiction in decades either. Maybe I'll pick up one from the old library.

[riser4]

While a viking funeral is a great fantasy, residing in an urn on a mantlepiece appeals to me. My MIL's ashes are kicking around somewhere until my FIL dies and they can be mixed. Compost would be nice. I like that idea. I think I'd like my stone to be somewhere I'm not. Then it can say "Not Here."

[subtle plague]

While a viking funeral is a great fantasy, residing in an urn on a mantlepiece appeals to me. My MIL's ashes are kicking around somewhere until my FIL dies and they can be mixed. Compost would be nice. I like that idea. I think I'd like my stone to be somewhere I'm not. Then it can say "Not Here."

or you could reuse that warehouse of weed you don't need anymore.

I'm afraid noone would find anything in my house because im just plain boring. But that gets me the idea of building Tentacle Sex Robots and stuff just to fuck with people when im dead.