what can you say to a pet, but not a significant other?

[BCMtnHound]

That dog-awful perfume (that you rolled in) does not endear me to you.

And:

Who’s ready to get a wash with the garden hose?

[Core Shot]

You have a stinky head

That works for both.

You can’t expect a blow job with a stinky dick.

[Beaver]

Hey fatso, I'm putting you on a diet.

[SKIP IN7RO]

Toilet seat is up if you get thirsty.

[BCMtnHound]

Toilet seat is up if you get thirsty.

^That’s a good one!

[scmartin69]

Hey fatso, I'm putting you on a diet.

+1 and she can't say that to me!

Sent from my SM-G986U using Tapatalk

[spanky]

Quiet, Bitch!

[Core Shot]

Stop eating your own feces

[Tele 'til You're Smelly]

“I’m keeping you in the divorce!”

this one wins!

but here's another:

"your fur is really getting thick and luxurious"

[dunfree]

You smell like a wet dog

[RShea]

Quit begging, your food is over there in the bowl on the floor, get over there and eat.

[wfs989]

Stop - your whiskers tickle

[stuckathuntermtn]

Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.


What? My dog is well trained.

[lifelinksplit]

git in the fuckin boat now
were goin fishin

I've def said this to the wife.....prob more than once.

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