Does Marriage Make Sense Today?

[oldnew_guy]

Sure seems like a prenup doesn’t have anything to do with all the emotional shit people seem to go through based on the divorce thread. Maybe ask yourself why money is at the forefront when making this decision?

I don’t think this was even on my radar.

[dunfree]

The only answer that matters: depends on the people and their marriage.

[Hopeless Sinner]

Sure seems like a prenup doesn’t have anything to do with all the emotional shit people seem to go through based on the divorce thread. Maybe ask yourself why money is at the forefront when making this decision?

I don’t think this was even on my radar.

Yeah money wasn't on mine either, but we both worked hard and trusted each other w no doubts. Many aren't as fortunate to find a hard working partner worthy of complete trust. Of course she was making 3x what I was at the start, but things evened out.

Carrying debt into a marriage has got to be a killer especially if it's caused by uncontrolled consumer spending. One saver and one spendthrift has got to be a disaster.

I would guess money issues would be equal to infidelity as a cause of divorce.

[m2711c]

Carrying debt into a marriage has got to be a killer especially if it's caused by uncontrolled consumer spending. One saver and one spendthrift has got to be a disaster.

I would guess money issues would be equal to infidelity as a cause of divorce.

can confirm.

[schindlerpiste]

Some people need a spouse to keep him/her in line. I've seen it on both sides. There have been some really wild and crazy people in my life who have been reeled in by a spouse to the point where they are [almost] acceptable...like Soma to some bipolar peeps.
For others, marriage makes no sense. For many of these, marriage is not meant to be a life-long commitment.
Wow, this thread reminds me of Dear Abby.

[wooley12]

50 years ago on our wedding day my uncle gave me this advice, "The fking you're gonna get is not worth the fking you're going to get." I knew he was joking and FWIW he was wrong.

It's too late for you to do what I did and pick one out when their young and trainable. 15-17. So I'm not not much help there

What I'll offer for over the long haul are these thoughts:
Make each other laugh. All the time.
Marriage is a give and take proposition. You give 80, she gives 10
Each partner should be able to answer "A lot" to this question. How much shit can you take?

Now lets all say the Married Man's Prayer
I'm a man - and I can change - if I have to - I guess.

[ötzi]

Marriage is a give and take proposition. You give 80, she gives 10

If she's getting 10 somewhere else that marriage is in trouble.

[mattig]

Married 15 years. There were dark times early on. Last 10-11 have been bliss. 1 kid. Separate bank accounts. I pay for essentials. She pays for fun stuff and brings the health insurance to the table. When she needs money for bigger expenses, there's role-playing and special requests involved.

Couldn't imagine life with anyone else.

All that said, the marriage piece doesn't really matter to me. It mattered to her, so we got married. So if one of you is really into the idea, that's something to consider, unless it's a strategic decision.

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[liv2ski]

Until you have kids - NO

If and when you have kids - YES

End of thread on response #2 above and ya, the prenup for sure.

[schwerty]

Mc089a
Trusts can solve most of the family financial stuff in regards to inheritance. When it comes to your personal shit and hers that gets sticky. Prenup might be the best way. I am no lawyer tho.

As far as getting married, I have no fuckin clue what you should do.

[54-46]

Was married 20 years. Be damned if I’m gonna pay for a 2nd wife…

[muted reborn]

How's her dishwasher loading skills? Any pics of that?

[ötzi]

I dunno, it seems to me that if you feel like you need a prenup you probably just shouldn't get married. Either go all in or don't go in at all.

We didn't get a prenup and boy does my wife regret it.

[ötzi]

Was married 20 years. Be damned if I’m gonna pay for a 2nd wife…

If somehow I ended up unmarried I sure as fuck wouldn't do this again. Once is plenty.

[XXX-er]

I'm in my 30s in a committed relationship that has been serious for about two years. I love my girlfriend and I'm starting to think about getting married.

Having seen friends go through some rough divorces, I'm wondering if it makes sense in today's legal environment of spousal support, alimony and splitting assets.

I make roughly 2x what she does. Neither of us have debt. My net worth is in the low seven figures and hers is in the low six figures.

We are both likely to inherit money from our families in our lifetimes. She will likely inherit an amount that is significantly larger than I will.

Neither of us are religious and neither of our families are religious, so there is no religious pressure to get married. At a minimum, it seems like it makes sense to have a prenup in place before getting married to protect both of our assets and the assets of our families.

That said, the current legal environment for marriage seems very, very broken and I can't see any tangible benefit to being married.

Is the current legal system too far gone? Would you get married today?

well i have already been married many times so i don't have to but enough about me

I think its not about being compatible & that kind of BS,

think there is an ommph that hits you in the gut for that one you love

something intangible

if that doesnt make any sense

all the better

[smartyiak]

Remember: Every marriage ends in divorce or death...sometimes both.

[Benny Profane]

Yeah money wasn't on mine either, but we both worked hard and trusted each other w no doubts. Many aren't as fortunate to find a hard working partner worthy of complete trust. Of course she was making 3x what I was at the start, but things evened out.

Carrying debt into a marriage has got to be a killer especially if it's caused by uncontrolled consumer spending. One saver and one spendthrift has got to be a disaster.

I would guess money issues would be equal to infidelity as a cause of divorce.

Not equal, more

[ötzi]

Way more. Constant money woes just grind people and relationships down. And a lot of people have constant money woes.

[muted reborn]

And constant dishwasher woes.

[XXX-er]

if you got the money DW's are not that expensive

[summit]

Get a prenup otherwise you are setting yourself up for a spit and lemon juice jail rape. You can protect your pre-marital assets, shield from her pre-marital debts, address child issues, and alimony. If your SO won't sign it, then red flag right there.

Even if you are no fiscally disparate now, you could be during the marriage.

The system is biased towards marriage what is the percentage gain?

50 percent of marriages end in divorce. The divorce system is somewhat to a whole lot biased towards women. Only a prenup levels the field somewhat.

Don't be fucking dumb. If it is happily ever after it won't be anything to worry about.

[grrrmountainman]

Just go out and find a woman you hate and buy her a house. If that still makes you smile, get married.

[Tryingtostaywarm]

Nah, fuck all that shit. Drop her, enjoy your seven figures and have multiple casual shitty relationships while you count your money.


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As someone in their 30's, with not seven figures but good lifestyle. This. Currently broke up with my girlfriend of two years somewhat recently......and now have on the "multiple casual shitty relationship" in the form of
1. 37 y/o IG Famous Pro-Runner chick, has no time for anything but running..banging only 1x week
2.35 y/o surfer hotty who needs a tit job but rest of body is nice, career is questionable
3.26 y/o electronic chick, broke as hell, bartender, but is a good lay
4.26 y/o basic bitch who is hot but hard to hang out with, has standard white basic bitch marketing job, have yet to lay
5.24 y/o chick who has her shit together, got the current rocker 90s look going for her..only talking to her cause of her big titties
6.31 y/o nurse who parties too much, awesome body, lets you do anything to her in bed but face is getting worse by the year
This is what you can look forward to when you go single in your 30s.

[alias_rice]

As someone in their 30's, with not seven figures but good lifestyle. This. Currently broke up with my girlfriend of two years somewhat recently......and now have on the "multiple casual shitty relationship" in the form of
1. 37 y/o IG Famous Pro-Runner chick, has no time for anything but running..banging only 1x week
2.35 y/o surfer hotty who needs a tit job but rest of body is nice, career is questionable
3.26 y/o electronic chick, broke as hell, bartender, but is a good lay
4.26 y/o basic bitch who is hot but hard to hang out with, has standard white basic bitch marketing job, have yet to lay
5.24 y/o chick who has her shit together, got the current rocker 90s look going for her..only talking to her cause of her big titties
6.31 y/o nurse who parties too much, awesome body, lets you do anything to her in bed but face is getting worse by the year
This is what you can look forward to when you go single in your 30s.

Seems like you’re staying warm.

[old goat]

Can't tell ya if she's a keeper without seeing her ski
There is sumthins to be said about the ceremonies and vows before friends n fams
And striving to keep them and share a life together in matrinony

You're a lot more sentimental than I thought. I agree.

As far as the business side of things--for older people with substantial assets and especially people with children from a previous marriage who might expect to inherit from both their parents some day, a prenup and a revocable trust if your state has them make sense. But to me it seems like what is earned during the marriage belongs to both partners, (or all three if that becomes legal). If one partner feels they should leave the marriage with more because they made more during it, that's probably going to me a significant point of stress in the marriage and an unhealthy power dynamic. That's probably someone who shouldn't get married, for their partner's sake and their own. Money isn't the only thing people bring to a marriage and not the most valuable thing.