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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    13

    Does Marriage Make Sense Today?

    I'm in my 30s in a committed relationship that has been serious for about two years. I love my girlfriend and I'm starting to think about getting married.

    Having seen friends go through some rough divorces, I'm wondering if it makes sense in today's legal environment of spousal support, alimony and splitting assets.

    I make roughly 2x what she does. Neither of us have debt. My net worth is in the low seven figures and hers is in the low six figures.

    We are both likely to inherit money from our families in our lifetimes. She will likely inherit an amount that is significantly larger than I will.

    Neither of us are religious and neither of our families are religious, so there is no religious pressure to get married. At a minimum, it seems like it makes sense to have a prenup in place before getting married to protect both of our assets and the assets of our families.

    That said, the current legal environment for marriage seems very, very broken and I can't see any tangible benefit to being married.

    Is the current legal system too far gone? Would you get married today?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Beaverton, OR
    Posts
    1,337
    Until you have kids - NO

    If and when you have kids - YES

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    on the banks of Fish Creek
    Posts
    7,513
    why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Montrose, CO
    Posts
    4,618
    Other than kids, the only other big reason is health insurance.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    inw
    Posts
    1,282
    Quote Originally Posted by sirbumpsalot View Post
    Until you have kids - NO

    If and when you have kids - YES
    x2

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Posts
    723
    The system is geared to benefit marriage.

    Employee benefits extend to spouses
    Tax rates are geared to benefit marriage, especially with a significant income differential between partners
    When one of you has a health issue, it's significantly easier to act on a spouses behalf than prove you're authorized as a FWB
    Buying a home or car is easier since they look at joint income and not individual
    Mortgage interest deduction used to be better, still isn't bad
    Once kids are involved, if you're not married she calls all the legal shots and you get no say in anything
    Wait, how can we trust this guy^^^ He's clearly not DJSapp

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Looking down
    Posts
    50,491
    Wow, seven figure net worth in your thirties and still waiting for the inheritance lotto.

    Pre nup, bud.

    If you do get married, pick the best state for joint asset sharing, or, lack of, since you're already pretty convinced it won't work. Don't have kids. Divorce fucks them up.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    2,656
    Quote Originally Posted by Not DJSapp View Post
    The system is geared to benefit marriage.

    Employee benefits extend to spouses
    Tax rates are geared to benefit marriage, especially with a significant income differential between partners
    When one of you has a health issue, it's significantly easier to act on a spouses behalf than prove you're authorized as a FWB
    Buying a home or car is easier since they look at joint income and not individual
    Mortgage interest deduction used to be better, still isn't bad
    Once kids are involved, if you're not married she calls all the legal shots and you get no say in anything
    RE: taxation, we got fucked when we got married (I mean, that's the whole point! rimshot) because pre-marriage I took the mortgage deduction and my wife took the standard deduction. When we started filing joint, we still itemized but our biggest deduction was the mortgage, so we deducted much less. So tax impact might not be positive. But yeah, otherwise totally agree with DJSapp.

    Sounds like both of you could potentially benefit from a prenup - you shelter your net worth, she protects her anticipated inheritance. worth bringing up if you think you can do it in a way that won't turn her off the whole idea of marrying you in the first place

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Magically whisked away to...Delaware
    Posts
    3,608
    I'll say "NO!"

    But I'm biased.
    It makes perfect sense...until you think about it.

    I suspect there's logic behind the madness, but I'm too dumb to see it.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    1,332
    Nah, fuck all that shit. Drop her, enjoy your seven figures and have multiple casual shitty relationships while you count your money.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Beaverton, OR
    Posts
    1,337
    Quote Originally Posted by Not DJSapp View Post
    The system is geared to benefit marriage.

    Employee benefits extend to spouses
    Tax rates are geared to benefit marriage, especially with a significant income differential between partners
    When one of you has a health issue, it's significantly easier to act on a spouses behalf than prove you're authorized as a FWB
    Buying a home or car is easier since they look at joint income and not individual
    Mortgage interest deduction used to be better, still isn't bad
    Once kids are involved, if you're not married she calls all the legal shots and you get no say in anything
    Ignore all of the above....still not worth it....

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    I-70 West
    Posts
    4,684

    Does Marriage Make Sense Today?

    If she posts in the ULLR thread, we can provide a clearer answer.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    STL
    Posts
    13,294

    Does Marriage Make Sense Today?

    I am six months away from ending the nightmare you fear. Divorced when my kids were two, and now they are off to college.

    I have lived the nightmare to it’s fullest. Millions wasted, and very little skiing.

    Do not get married without a prenup, never. Even if you’re broke. And even still, put assets into trusts etc.

    Your money is your business only, if they don’t like it, find one who will.




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vacationland
    Posts
    5,912
    Nine posts and we’re your marriage consultants?


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    写道
    Posts
    13,434
    Can you at least post a few pix of her tits first?!

    The nerve of some people....
    Daniel Ortega eats here.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    in a freezer in Italy
    Posts
    7,181
    Quote Originally Posted by ticketchecker View Post
    Nine posts and we’re your marriage consultants?
    Well he was looking for a forum full of grumpy old men who would confirm his misgivings and when he found us it was love at first sight. Unlike, apparently, his relationship.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    shadow of HS butte
    Posts
    6,397
    As someone who is in their 20s and in a pretty serious relationship, I still don’t know how I’d ever consider getting married without a prenup. Maybe that makes me a shitty person [shrug]. But the thing is, no one can deny that it’s impossible to predict the future, no matter how good things are in the present.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    24,506
    M series Jong's these days. Get off my lawn.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    3,301

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    2,283
    Does she want kids?
    Does she want to get married?
    Do you want kids?
    A woman reported to police at 6:30 p.m. that she was being "smart-mouthed."

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    panhandle locdog
    Posts
    7,836
    I've been married 11 years, going on 12 in May. Happy I made that choice.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    A LSD Steakhouse somewhere in the Wasatch
    Posts
    13,234
    Can't tell ya if she's a keeper without seeing her ski
    There is sumthins to be said about the ceremonies and vows before friends n fams
    And striving to keep them and share a life together in matrinony
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    2,480
    Cheap wedding invitations and hope for the best

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    2,100
    Does marriage make sense today? Short answer: no
    Long answer: yes


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vacationland
    Posts
    5,912
    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    Well he was looking for a forum full of grumpy old men who would confirm his misgivings and when he found us it was love at first sight. Unlike, apparently, his relationship.
    Now if we can just get our hooks into that war chest


    Sent from the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen

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