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  1. #151
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,821
    Think I need something to go with the smoked oysters. Crackers? Dont have any of those in my pantry, either. Thinking Premium Saltines. To me, the ideal Premium saltine is crisp with a browned top that will flake off and gather in the bottom of the wrapper sleeve so that when you finish the last cracker you lick and dip your finger into the crumbs and on to your mouth. Heaven. To borrow a phrase from BBQ, the burnt ends of crackers.

    Unfortunately, Premiums are so hit and miss, and these days mostly miss. Too often the crackers arrive with white tops. I think they have much better control of the cooking process these days to the point where they hardly ever burn the crackers anymore. And their idea of the ideal cracker is much different than mine. Of course, they are biased towards using less energy in cooking their crackers because it costs them less. So they strive to barely cook their crackers.

    So, Ill have to play cracker roulette to see if I get a good sleeve, or a boring one. I swore off crackers years ago due to this very issue, but now that I have smoked oysters it cant be helped, once more into the cracker fray!

    Or maybe Ill make some sourdough toast.

  2. #152
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    in a freezer in Italy
    Posts
    4,063
    Speaking of oysters, and crackers, a few years ago we went to this small local restaurant. Wife ordered clam chowder to start. She rips open a little bag of oyster crackers and dumps them on the chowder.

    A couple minutes pass as she's happily eating her chowder when some movement catches my eye. For a second it seemed like the pepper she ground on it was moving but she hadn't used any pepper. I look closer and it's ants. They had infested the crackers. They were living their best lives all cocooned inside the individual crackers and their home being turned into a life raft on a sea of hot chowder had sent them topsides, where they had congragated, frantically waving their little feelers for help.

    Those of them that had not already been eaten, that is. Wife freaked out of course. They brought her a new bowl of chowder (and more crackers!) when we brought it to their attention but she couldn't eat it. So I did, with crackers (fortunately ant-free crackers this time) on top. She has not eaten an oyster cracker since. More for me.

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    16,345
    ^^^ winning.
    Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat

  4. #154
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    14,793
    Tinned Smoked oysters are the second most foul food smell I know.

    Frying blood sausage is definitely worse.

    Edit: Im no andrew Zimmerman. No surstroming or rancid whale blubber Yet.
    Im a subhuman jizz monkey

    Thx mods. Its an awesome signature.

  5. #155
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    17,080
    I think surstroming would be perfect in one of those bait packages for the Amazon porch pirates. The glitter bomb was one thing. And liquid ass another. But my idea kicks it up to 11. I'd love to see the video when an unsuspecting thief gets an explosion of surstroming in their car or apartment. That shit ain't coming out.

  6. #156
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Splat's Garage
    Posts
    3,790
    I was reading through this thread last night and it got me stoked. I just dropped about $50 today at the store on some canned fish. Got a couple different types of King Oscar sardines, Geisha smoked oysters, and some Snow's minced clams.

    Anyone know where to find the high end canned stuff in Colorado?

  7. #157
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    cordova,AK
    Posts
    3,202
    Quote Originally Posted by billyk View Post
    Think I need something to go with the smoked oysters. Crackers? Dont have any of those in my pantry, either. Thinking Premium Saltines. To me, the ideal Premium saltine is crisp with a browned top that will flake off and gather in the bottom of the wrapper sleeve so that when you finish the last cracker you lick and dip your finger into the crumbs and on to your mouth. Heaven. To borrow a phrase from BBQ, the burnt ends of crackers.

    Unfortunately, Premiums are so hit and miss, and these days mostly miss. Too often the crackers arrive with white tops. I think they have much better control of the cooking process these days to the point where they hardly ever burn the crackers anymore. And their idea of the ideal cracker is much different than mine. Of course, they are biased towards using less energy in cooking their crackers because it costs them less. So they strive to barely cook their crackers.

    So, Ill have to play cracker roulette to see if I get a good sleeve, or a boring one. I swore off crackers years ago due to this very issue, but now that I have smoked oysters it cant be helped, once more into the cracker fray!

    Or maybe Ill make some sourdough toast.
    Just mix those oysters in with some Kraft Mac and cheese. Perfect application

  8. #158
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    slc
    Posts
    15,148
    These are not very good.


  9. #159
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    10,795
    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    These are not very good.

    Agreed, big disappointment


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  10. #160
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,821
    Quote Originally Posted by BFD View Post
    Just mix those oysters in with some Kraft Mac and cheese. Perfect application
    Still havent found the appropriate opportunity to eat the oysters. Been working on turkey the last few days. Your suggestion sounds interesting, though.

  11. #161
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
    Posts
    6,843
    I think this is some type of pate. Click image for larger version. 

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  12. #162
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    20,357
    Smoked sprats, a herring
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  13. #163
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Posts
    1,002
    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    These are not very good.

    I may have to track these down to figure out what a bad sardine tastes like because I haven't figured out what good sardine tastes like. They are all - so far as a tinny noob - kinda bland when in olive oil.

    But I am sold on the health benefits and will keep eating them.

  14. #164
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,821
    ^^ I think they sell those at Costco. Or online.

  15. #165
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Posts
    1,002
    COSTCO???

  16. #166
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,821
    Yeah.
    https://www.cochaser.com/blog/wild-p...75-ounce-cans/

    I know they carry other wild planet products, and apparently sardines too (havent bought them myself).

  17. #167
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
    Posts
    6,843
    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    These are not very good.

    These are surprisingly good. Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	395683Click image for larger version. 

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  18. #168
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Aspen
    Posts
    1,871
    Ate some of these on Monday and enjoyed them. Even got my 2y/o to enjoy some. Not fancy but $4 at WF; nice very mild smoke flavor

    Click image for larger version. 

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  19. #169
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    11,316
    This may have been covered already, but can someone give me some info on the real world implications of Surstromming?

    Background: Wife's family are Polish and Xmas dinner is traditionally a "no meat" affair to my great chagrin. For some reason, the Poles want to ensure maximum vodka to minimal substantive food as possible so that my Mother In Law gets tanked enough to still think midnight mass is a good idea but cant make it through without snoring in her pew.

    So there is a ton of pickled fish, yada yada. They pass around some pretty gelatinous and aggressive fish dishes with smiles on their faces. So this year I ordered some Surstromming (shit is like 50 bucks a can) to contribute as basically a "fuck you" to see if these hardened fish eaters want to take it up a notch. Just how sensationalized are these Surstromming youtube videos? Will I ruin Xmas dinner by having one of these cans spew its fermented goodness all over the table? People seem to be wretching in these vids.

    I'm going to find this funny no matter what, I am just trying to figure out how mad my wife is going to get at me for bringing this out and playing coy before the can is pierced.



  20. #170
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    关你屁事
    Posts
    4,578
    Gelatinous fish would be more a lutefisk - which is bland & mostly doesnt smell (depending on the whitefish) just has a weird texture. Surstromming stinks

  21. #171
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    11,316
    Quote Originally Posted by dunfree View Post
    Gelatinous fish would be more a lutefisk - which is bland & mostly doesn’t smell (depending on the whitefish) just has a weird texture. Surstromming stinks
    Yeah, its not an especially stinky table but it is full of jellied and pickled herring, among other things. I know Surstromming stinks to high hell, but I'm curious if it is a complete dinner-ruiner.

  22. #172
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    27,184
    You should delete your question before you get an answer, so as to retain plausible deniability.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  23. #173
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    关你屁事
    Posts
    4,578
    test the household with durian to maintain deniability

  24. #174
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    The Mayonnaisium
    Posts
    8,950
    Even Swedes take precautions.


  25. #175
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    17,080
    Quote Originally Posted by Art Shirk View Post
    This may have been covered already, but can someone give me some info on the real world implications of Surstromming?

    Background: Wife's family are Polish and Xmas dinner is traditionally a "no meat" affair to my great chagrin. For some reason, the Poles want to ensure maximum vodka to minimal substantive food as possible so that my Mother In Law gets tanked enough to still think midnight mass is a good idea but cant make it through without snoring in her pew.

    So there is a ton of pickled fish, yada yada. They pass around some pretty gelatinous and aggressive fish dishes with smiles on their faces. So this year I ordered some Surstromming (shit is like 50 bucks a can) to contribute as basically a "fuck you" to see if these hardened fish eaters want to take it up a notch. Just how sensationalized are these Surstromming youtube videos? Will I ruin Xmas dinner by having one of these cans spew its fermented goodness all over the table? People seem to be wretching in these vids.

    I'm going to find this funny no matter what, I am just trying to figure out how mad my wife is going to get at me for bringing this out and playing coy before the can is pierced.


    Must. Capture. Vid.

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