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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Colorado
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    626

    True meth, hatchet, bicyie, my ford, a conex with urine and 12 guys story, Denver.

    True story 2.0

    It’s a hot Wednesday, 12:30pm August 18th. I’m driving my F250 down the street when I hear a man screaming and quickly stop 23 yards after a crosswalk.
    He augers his road bike into the right wheel well of my truck smashing in the stock flares in two places.

    I jump out of my truck and move to help the guy who turns out to be covered in blood. He has dried almost black blood from his nose to his ear and all over his chest to his stomach. Through the assortment of basement and prison ICP tattoos my new friend is clearly a Juggalo.

    They are not the most sophisticated tattoos I have ever seen. Both the tattooer and tattooed might have been the same person. Kinda of like this but all over.
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    His black jeans are so dirty they are crunchy. I don’t see any teeth on the ground, so I assume he didn’t have many before.

    He now starts bleeding from the top of his head. It’s a bit of a pumper.

    I dial 911 and hear nothing for 30 seconds.

    I dial again and hear nothing for 10 seconds before realizing I am an obliviot and the blue tooth to my truck is still on.

    I get dispatch 20 seconds after figuring out how my phone works.

    I tell them I need an ambulance and we have a head injury and he is bleeding from it pretty well.

    The guy in the car behind me (now labeled Good guy) says “that guy was messed up before he hit you.”

    I tell the op “He has prior injuries and a huge cut on his face from something and lots of existing blood, this guy was running from something bad.”

    Good guy “He’s got a hatchet!”

    Me/ obliviot to op” I don’t see a hatchet.” I’m also directing traffic at this time.

    Good guy” Stop reaching for that hatchet!!”

    Me to op “He is reaching for his wallet – nope he is reaching for a hatchet. It’s where his wallet should be. Can I get a cop with a gun too?”

    Actual model hatchet.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Good guy “Stop reaching for the hatchet!!”

    Me to op/hatchet man “Stop reaching for the hatchet, if I have to stomp you, the ambulance won’t be able to put you back together.”

  2. #2
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    Jan 2010
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    Colorado
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    Street view.

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    Well, we start to get an audience now. The alternative high school next to us, is the last alternative you get before your high school has a fence and barb wire and you don’t get to go home at night. It’s basically filled with 17-19 year old’s that look like they live in a hostel. We call them “hostiles.” My office is only 2 buildings down.

    The “hostiles” pick him up and carry him to the side of the road.

    The op tells me “Not to move him.” Me “Too late”

    The op asks me if “he is awake.” Me “He is drinking a bottle of water and smoking a cig from the hostiles.”

    The op “Don’t let him drink or eat.” Me “Too late.”

    The hostiles don’t seem to mind him having a hatchet, several well used but intact glass pipes, a pile of various drugs or a mix of dried and new blood everywhere.

    Then the ambulance shows and a cop 2 minutes behind him.

    Good guy speaks to the cop first. The brakes on the guy’s road bike were removed completely. The hatchet man was already really messed up prior to.

    Hatchet man goes next to the cop which I don’t get to hear.

    I find out from the cop the “hatchet man was in a big fight earlier today. Some sort of thunder dome and a guy with a sharpened bicycle rim cut him deep from nose to ear
    just under his eye.” I’m not sure how you think that’s your go to weapon. It sucks to hold, it won’t take an edge, hold an edge or hide well on your person but I guess if you can pull it out of a dumpster or off the wall in the thunder dome -you use it.

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    On the way out he is on the stretcher and wants his bike really bad. I’m guessing drugs in the frame. The cops have to take it to the hospital but it won’t fit in the explorer. One of them handcuffs the spokes to the push bar of the cop car and drives off like he is going home from hunting a deer with the bike on the front.

    Click image for larger version. 

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  3. #3
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    Jun 2020
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    in a freezer in Italy
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    4,053
    Go on...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    626
    It’s now 6pm same day. Story 2.1
    I look out my window and see 12 guys that got out of 9 cars. They are all 6’ plus all over 230# but not terribly dressed. I was thinking beer league baseball or golfers at first. But both are many turns and at least 10 minutes away from either location.

    They are parked radially on a lot I have across the street with a garage and some Conex’s.

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    They seem very comfortable on my property and are taking turns urinating on my conex. Picture below.

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    I don’t know them.

    Oddly these cars are 1-5 years old $20-50k with illegal tint no front plates and smoked license plate covers.

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    Extremely weird, they are parked radially, not end to end with all the cars aimed at the street so they could leave quickly.

    They are moving multiple large black bags from one car to another.
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  5. #5
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    Jan 2010
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    Colorado
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    Moderately unintelligently, I get in my F250 (it has tow truck lights on it so it kind of looks like a cop car, longer story) and drive 20 feet across the street and park at a 45 in the street in front of the first guy.

    He looks like a early 30’s Wesley Snipes but 4” taller.

    I keep completely calm. Low slow speech and heart rate under 60 bpm.

    Me “What are you guys doing here?”

    WS “That’s none of your business.”

    Me “Its my land, it’s my business now.”

    WS “If you don’t want us here, put up a fence.”

    Now I’m about to go to full on big time stupid. Please don’t do this.


    Me “You shouldn’t talk to me like that. You wouldn’t be the first person I killed today.”

    WS friends are now moving towards me and say “What’s going on over there?”

    WS “This guy is being an asshole.” His heart rate is visibly much higher.

    Me “I’ve been a lot worse than an asshole today. Come over here, come see the blood.” I slowly motion him to come closer.
    This was pretty stupid. 100% chance that at least one of them had to have had a gun.



    I bet it was 50-50 at least 3 were armed.

    WS “We are leaving right now!!!”

    All of them jump in their cars and floor it. The last few ran a red where I met hatchet man 4.5 hours earlier.

    I found out what they were doing other than peeing on my conex a week later and will post it if we hit 20 posts or page 2 or something so you can guess.

  6. #6
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    Jun 2020
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    Attachments don't work in the second to last post.

  7. #7
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    Colorado
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    I suck I didn't even spell Bicycle right in the title.

  8. #8
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    Dec 2007
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    Hell Track
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    I'm sticking around for the conclusion. But in the meantime, the bike mounted to the cop car diagram has me entirely amused.

  9. #9
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    Jun 2020
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    What the fuck possessed you to confront these guys?

    If you don't have a wife you clearly need one. I might be tempted to take on a bunch of dudes single-handed but then I remember my wife would yell at me so I bail. It's healthier this way.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    What the fuck possessed you to confront these guys?
    I don't wait around for other people to get things done.

    Also, I like to spar Muay Thai heavyweights on Saturdays, I don't have any fear it seems.

  11. #11
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    I'm all about cost/benefit analysis and that shit don't parse for me. But whatever, not yelling at you. Do continue.

  12. #12
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    It was dumb. The guy with the face cut looked like this.

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    I just don't see using a sharpened bike rim to fight with.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
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    Where the sheets have no stains
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    17,444
    I just want to hang around for, "the rest of the story".
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

  14. #14
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    No guesses coming for what was in the bags?

    I'll post the answer in the morning.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    I just don't see using a sharpened bike rim to fight with.
    It would suck to grab it on the wrong side as you enter combat.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    6,180
    You clearly need to piss on your lawn, how else were these guys to know it belonged to you?
    "We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully." - Randy Pausch

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    No guesses coming for what was in the bags?
    We didn't know you found out until now. I'm gonna go with lawn clippings. Second guess, hundred-dollar bills.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    We didn't know you found out until now. I'm gonna go with lawn clippings. Second guess, hundred-dollar bills.
    Construction waste. or dead hooker parts.

    Sent from my SM-G935P using TGR Forums mobile app

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    We didn't know you found out until now. I'm gonna go with lawn clippings. Second guess, hundred-dollar bills.
    Meth. Obviously.
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime
    One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
    -BMillsSkier

  20. #20
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    ETA post #20…..We are waiting.
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime
    One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
    -BMillsSkier

  21. #21
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    Sharpened bike rims?

  22. #22
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    Sep 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    No guesses coming for what was in the bags?

    I'll post the answer in the morning.
    Hard to tell from those pics but guessing they are stuffed with piñatas for a quinceanera. However, no idea if the piñatas have drugs or benjamins for the kiddos.
    "We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully." - Randy Pausch

  23. #23
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    Feb 2010
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    Portland by way of Bozeman
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    so the real question becomes was hatchet bro on regular ol' meth or this new, fuck-you-up P2P meth?

  24. #24
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    Jan 2006
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  25. #25
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    May 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by exsparky View Post
    No guesses coming for what was in the bags?.
    Nazi midgets?

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